Two Hearts
by Banterer
Summary: Sequel to "To Make You Feel My Love" and coincides with "Love Letters" Rick and Kate continue the life they built together.
1. Chapter 1

**This is the long awaited sequel to "To Make You Feel My Love." Okay, not so long awaited since I just finished that one a few days ago. If you haven't read it you may need to if you want to understand this one. This also corresponds with my one-shot, Love Letters. If you have read that one, this will fill in the blanks if you haven't, it will be the epilogue to this one so you may want to wait so you don't know all the secrets in advance.**

**When we last left our couple they had just said I do, well they did a few things after, but anyway. This is set about eight weeks after that. I took the liberty of rewriting the events of _Knockout_ (3:24 spoilers beware) to fit this fic. But as those of you that have read TMYFML know; I don't do much writing of cases, only when needed to further the plot, so Montgomery is dead after having confessed to his part in Johanna Beckett's death and sacrificing himself. However, many of the other facts have been changed. Just couldn't fathom writing him into this story after that finale. Even though the tone of this chapter seems a little dark, this will be a happy fluffy tale of love and family, just like my last one.**

**Don't own them, only the edits…**

**xxxxxxxxxx**

_Beep beep beep beep_

Castle heard the familiar sound of their alarm clock. In fact it was the third time he had heard it this morning. He was in the study, having gotten up early to get a little writing done before they headed to the precinct for the day. So much had happened since returning from their honeymoon six weeks prior; he had barely touched his laptop and Gina was on the verge of threatening his life if he didn't at least produce an outline for the next installment of Nikki Heat. Little did Gina know, but it would take more than the threat of life and limb to get him to shift his focus from Kate to a measly book right now.

Their marriage had started out with such joy and happiness, but recent events had filled many days with fear and sadness. Only in the last week had it even seemed possible that things would return to what they had once been. He and Kate were still completely head over heels and devoted to each other and to Alexis; nothing would change that. But with the escape of Hal Lockwood and the betrayal and death of their Captain, Kate had temporarily retreated into a dark place. Castle couldn't blame her; not only had her mentor confessed to being involved in her mother's murder, but then sacrificed himself so she could live. The pain and guilt his actions caused would have consumed a lesser person but it only seemed to strengthen her resolve to get justice or revenge depending on how you looked at it. However, the failed attempt on her life while she gave Montgomery's eulogy was the last straw for Castle and Kate's father alike, but not until the package arrived in the mail could either of them convince her to back down.

On the day of his death Montgomery had gathered all the evidence he could concerning Johanna Beckett's murder and all the circumstances related to it. He had mailed it to Castle in confidence, but their marriage held no secrets and he shared it with Kate immediately. Reading each and every piece of evidence they both realized that McCalister's words were true. They _had_ awoken the dragon. The powerful people involved could not be touched by three NYPD Detectives alone even with Castle's fame and money behind them. They had no choice but to hand it over to the only person they felt they could trust. It was now in the hands of the FBI and in conjunction with the Justice Department a quiet yet thorough Federal investigation was being conducted. The Castle's would receive no more information about it and only if it resulted in a trial would they be contacted to testify. For now, life was to go on as usual. Normalcy was the only thing that could protect her now and they did their best. Yes, Castle had hired a little more security for the building and for now they held Alexis with a little tighter leash, but it was not enough to raise red flags to anyone that might be watching them. As far as anyone looking in was concerned the case was closed.

_Beep beep beep beep_

Okay, he knew four hits of the snooze button would make them late for work. Castle closed his laptop, he had only written a couple of lines anyway, and made his way to their bedroom. Kate was sound asleep face down on the bed. Her hair was fanned out across her pillow and her arm hung off the side; knuckles skimming the floor. She was completely naked and the sight of her caused his heart to thump in his chest. It didn't matter that they had been together for eight months and married for two; every time he saw her his heart reacted and he knew it would every time for as long as he lived. He knelt down beside the bed and rubbed the hair from her face.

"Kate, you need to get up sweetheart." She didn't budge so he moved in closer, "Come on baby it's after seven."

She groaned in disagreement, "Ten more minutes." She turned her head away from him.

"Kate, you've already done ten more minutes three times. Do you want me to call Captain Gates and tell her we won't be in today?"

Rick cringed a little at having to say the name. The Twelfth had been assigned a new Captain a few days after Montgomery's death. She was an attractive woman in her early forties, but her looks were about the only positive thing about her. She had immediately kicked Castle out and only after the Mayor himself put an end to her demands did she allow him back in. That was of course enough to put her on the bad side of everyone in the precinct and she had been rowing an uphill course ever since. She made it clear to everyone that Castle's antics would not be tolerated and that no matter their closure rate, Kate and her team would not be afforded the leniency they had previously been provided. Of course, with each case solved and each murderer put behind bars, Kate and her team could tell Captain Gates appreciated their abilities if not their tactics.

"No, I'm getting up." Kate slowly slid from the bed and stumbled to the bathroom.

Rick followed, "Are you feeling okay? You've been a little sluggish the last few mornings." He wrapped his arms around her from behind and watched her reflection in the mirror. She looked so tired, but still beautiful, not even fatigue could steal her beauty.

She smiled back at his reflection, "I blame you." She saw his boyish grin even as he tried to hide it behind her shoulder. "How am I to be expected to rise and shine after a night in bed with you?"

He scrapped his teeth down her neck and placed a kiss to her shoulder, "You're welcome."

"Oh, was I thanking you?" Kate elbowed him off of her and slipped into the shower. Rick left her to get ready.

As she showered Kate thought about the last few weeks. As much as she needed justice, needed closure, needed answers; she was no longer willing to risk her life or the lives of those she loved. Her husband and her father had convinced her that her life was more important than her mother's death. It had been a hard pill to swallow, but the truth usually was. She had made promises in that garden just two months ago. Promises that didn't go away just because her mother's case had reared its ugly head once again. Promises she fully intended to keep and she couldn't keep them if she was dead. She was surprised at how liberating it felt to just let go. She had been carrying it around for so long. Yes, Rick made carrying it a little easier, but actually letting go lifted a weight off her shoulders that she hadn't really known she was carrying. Over the last week she concentrated on nothing but her family. She and Rick made love playfully like they had before. They laughed and teased and sat up talking at night about the future and again made the plans that had been unknowingly put on hold. In fact, their first Christmas together was a week away and she was actually looking forward to the holiday, not dreading it like she had every year for more than a decade. If it wasn't for the constant state of fatigue she seemed to be in, she would almost be elated. Hopefully a long holiday weekend in the Hamptons would allow her to catch up on some much needed rest.

Rick came back in just as she was getting dressed and had to duck as she threw something across the room. "Damn!" She was quickly apologetic, "Sorry, one of Alexis's…" She didn't want to make him cringe, "…undergarments must have gotten into my drawer."

Rick laughed at her hesitation, considering he did most of the laundry in the household embarrassment over underwear and bras was a thing of the past. He walked toward the hamper to pick up the earlier flying object. Before he could correct her assumption she was cursing again, but this time at him. Even though her depression and dark mood had lifted recently she was still a little more quick tempered than normal.

"Dammit Castle, speaking of boobs," he wasn't really sure they had been speaking of them but wasn't going to correct her, "Could you be a little more careful of mine next time?" He turned on his heel and watched her as she fastened another bra and straightened the straps over her shoulders. She stalked toward him on her way to the attached closet and he couldn't help but groan as she palmed each of her breasts while grimacing in pain. "I'm going to shoot you if hand shaped bruises show up later."

"Uh, Kate?"

Kate stalked out of the closet completely clothed. She grabbed the bra he had been holding since retrieving it from the floor and dropped it into the hamper. "I hope you made me some of your magic pancakes because I am starving."

Thirty minutes later completely stuffed from breakfast and running late as usual Rick and Kate were flying through rush hour traffic. She couldn't help but noticed Rick was being unusually quiet. She had snapped at him a few times, but that wasn't anything new. She paused in her thoughts realizing just how short she had been with him lately. A lump formed in her throat.

"Rick," he didn't face her just made a little sound acknowledging that he had heard her. "I'm sorry." Tears filled her eyes but she shook them away. "I'm just tired, I didn't mean…"

He interrupted her with a hand to her cheek, "I know Kate. It's been a rough few months, it's going to take a while to get back to normal, but I have a feeling good things are ahead."

Kate loved that he was always the optimist. She would never know how he always saw the positive in things, especially when they got as bad as they had recently, "I'm going to hold you to that."

The day went by pretty normally. The new Captain spent a few minutes berating them for something they had done the day before. It was her wonderful way of greeting them every morning. By lunch time they had caught a new case and were all happy to be able to spend much of the afternoon at the scene canvassing and taking witness statements. By early evening they were back at the Twelfth reviewing financials and security footage. It was an open and shut case and by ten o'clock the murderer had confessed and was being booked.

As she finished the last report Kate realized her husband was nowhere to be found. She was exhausted and starving and just wanted to go home. She didn't have to search too long; finding him in the break room with a calculator, calendar and his notebook spread out in front of him on the table. He was grinning from ear to ear as he scribbled furiously. It was the notebook he usually kept in the nightstand by their bed. She often woke up to find him jotting down plot ideas that had come to him in a dream.

"Gonna use today's case in the next book huh?"

When he realized she was there he gathered everything up and closed the notebook. He hung the calendar back on the wall and returned the calculator to the supply cabinet across the room. He smiled at her with a smile she hadn't seen since their honeymoon. Whenever he looked at her with that dreamy look in his eyes she melted to mush. She couldn't help but wrap her arms around his neck and press her lips to his.

He gave her a sideways look, she wasn't usually touchy feely at work, especially with the new Captain watching like a hawk, but he wasn't going to question it. "Something specific on your mind tonight Detective?"

"Feed me and bed me, that is all I ask."

By midnight he had fulfilled both of her requests, the later more than once. Lying in his arms completely sated, Kate was moments from sleep, but Rick's fidgeting kept her awake. She had noticed a slight difference in the way he touched her tonight and now with the fidgeting she wasn't sure what was going on with him. Before she could ask he slid from her arms. He must have thought she was sleeping and she was so exhausted that she didn't let on otherwise.

Rick slipped into the bathroom and checked a few drawers before making his way to the study. He pulled out his trusty notebook to verify the facts. His head had been spinning much of the day. He was so excited that sleep evaded him, but she needed the rest. There was no denying it, all the signs were there but they had both been too preoccupied lately to notice. He wanted to shake her and ask her if she knew, but he was pretty sure she was oblivious, which made him laugh. _How could she not know?_ He ran over the list again; fatigue, irritability, increased appetite, sore swollen breasts and the kicker; an unopened pack of tampons she purchased shortly after going off her birth control pills just weeks before the wedding.

_Kate was pregnant! _

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"Good morning sleepyhead."

Rick was again waking her up. She couldn't remember the last time the alarm clock had been enough to pry her out of bed. Most days she didn't mind, she had to work, but today.

"I thought part of vacation was being allowed to sleep in?" She glanced at the clock; it was ten o'clock on Christmas Eve. They had arrived at their Hamptons home the previous afternoon. "Oh god, I had no idea it was so late. Where's Alexis?" Kate was now practically stumbling over her own feet to get out of bed.

Rick placed his hands on her shoulders, "It's okay, she went ahead without us. I told her we would meet her for lunch and then finish our shopping after that."

Kate felt terrible, she and Alexis were going to pick out a gift for Rick together and she had slept in. "Is she mad at me?"

"No, just a little disappointed." He lifted her head with his hand to her chin. "Hey, I have a gift for you."

Kate looked surprised, "It isn't Christmas yet, don't you want to save it for tomorrow?"

"No, this can't wait. In fact I've been trying to figure out a way to give it to you for the last week."

His hand slipped around her waist and he pulled her from the bed; leading her to the bathroom. Once there he handed her a box wrapped simply. She recognized the bright red wrapping from their wedding day but this time the bow was green instead of black. Just like the previous gift there was a card attached. Kate smiled widely remembering all of his little notes that were now in their wedding album along with the photos of that beautiful day. She knew the card would contain a quotation of some kind and her heart ached knowing they had lost that part of them over the last few months.

'_You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests that you think she's pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment.' ~Dave Barry_

_That's why I'm not going to speak until you open and use this gift._

_Rick or if I'm right, Daddy_

Kate's hands began to shake, she looked at her husband. He was smiling from ear to ear but her head was spinning too furiously to return his with her own. She knew what was in the box before she opened it, but ripped the paper off to confirm. With the pregnancy test in hand she again looked at Rick.

"Why? No?"

He didn't speak, just put his hands on each side of her face and brushed his lips lightly over hers. Then he rested his forehead to hers and waited for her to figure it out. The last few months came rushing back and it now seemed so obvious. She ripped the box open and followed the instructions to the letter. She didn't even care that Rick was watching her every move. Once she had done the deed she laid the stick on the counter and joined him on the floor where he sat leaning against the bathtub. Neither of them spoke but their breathing quickened with each minute that passed. Rick held her hands in one of his on his lap and caressed her back with the other. He could feel her pulse racing as his fingertips brushed over her wrist. When the small digital device beeped from across the room they both jumped.

Finally she spoke, "I can't look at it, you'll have to."

He nudged her leg with his knee, "We will do it together, just like everything else."

They stood and made their way across the room hand in hand. He picked it up with a shaky hand and with their heads only inches apart he turned the display up so they could read it. Kate's knees wobbled and all the blood in her body seemed to be whooshing in her ears.

"We're going to have a baby!"


	2. Chapter 2

**Wow, the reviews and the favorites. I am humbled. Thank you to everyone that followed me to this story. Oh and be prepared for the sap. You are all familiar with the sugary sweetness I call a story, so with toothbrushes in hand, go forth.**

**xxxxxxxxxx**

Rick wasn't sure what just hit him. Only moments after reading the word _pregnant_ on the little plastic stick, Kate went into hyperdrive. It was like watching someone go through the six stages of grief. Well she only really hit four of them, and he she wasn't actually grieving, but he knew no other way to describe it. What usually took someone months to work thru; Kate experienced in a matter of thirty minutes.

Stage 1: Shock or Denial

"_Rick, I can't be. That would mean we got pregnant on our honeymoon, it couldn't be that easy. Maybe the test is wrong. I think I need to take another one."_

Luckily Rick had thought ahead and pulled two moretests out of the bag from the Pharmacy. After successfully peeing on both sticks simultaneously and pacing the bathroom floor for three and five minutes consecutively, she was convinced.

Stage 2: Guilt

"_Oh god, I was so reckless. I'm sorry Rick, if you and Dad hadn't talked some sense into me, I could've… We would both be dead."_

Rick didn't know what to say to that one. She was right, had she gone after those responsible or if the sniper in the cemetery had hit the mark, his wife and child would both be lost to him forever. He just pulled her to the floor and held her, but it wasn't long before the next stage hit.

Stage 3: Anger

"_How long have you suspected? Why didn't you say anything_ _to me? Boy, what kind of mother am I going to be if my husband knows I'm pregnant before I do?"_

Rick apologized for not telling her, but he really had wanted to give her a chance to figure it out. That just made her angrier and she pounded him in the chest a few times before crying on his shoulder. Luckily she skipped depression and loneliness or _he_ may have gotten angry. Finally she came to the last stage which was happiness and acceptance.

Straddling her husband on the bathroom floor Kate began to laugh hysterically. She clung to Rick so tightly she almost cut off his oxygen supply, but he didn't care. He hadn't heard that laugh in so long; it was music to his ears. She threw her head back and tucked her bottom lip behind her teeth; she could barely get the words out between fits of laughter.

"Rick, what are we going to do with a baby? What were we thinking?" For a minute his heart sank; he misunderstood her, but she quickly eased his concerns when her lips met his. It was quick and almost chaste because she was still struggling with moments of uncontrollable laughter, but did manage a few words. "It's killing you isn't it?"

"What?"

"Having to wait this long to tell me how Big Rick took care of business."

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An hour later, Rick and Kate were walking arm and arm through the mall looking for Alexis. The place was packed with last minute shoppers. Kate had never seen so many fur coats and pearl necklaces in her life. Any other day she would have felt uncomfortable; she was sure she would never be the typical Hamptons wife and she and Rick were both fine with that. He hadn't bought the beach house as a status symbol. It was a place for him and his family to escape from the hustle and bustle of the city. Today, not fitting in wasn't even close to being on her mind. All she felt was happiness, all she knew was the warmth of Rick's arm hooked in hers. She was overcome with a hope she had never felt before; a hope she would have never thought possible with the circumstances of the last few months. It was Christmas Eve and she was carrying a child, his child, their child.

They had quickly decided not to tell anyone yet. They wanted to get thru the holidays and see the doctor to verify that everything was okay before telling anyone. They also wanted to enjoy their little secret for themselves for just a little while.

"What's up with you two?" Alexis was on to them the moment they arrived at the restaurant for lunch. Clearly they were going to have to be a little more subtle.

Kate quickly changed the subject, "Sweetie, I'm sorry about this morning, I'll make it up to you I promise."

"No big deal, we have plenty of time this afternoon, we just have to kick the old man loose first."

Alexis shook her thumb toward her father who was paying neither of them any attention. He was currently making fish faces at a toddler sitting a few tables over. Kate kicked him under the table and he instantly turned back to attention and began reading the menu. They ordered food and ate and laughed before parting to finish some shopping. Kate and Alexis went one way and Rick the other.

"I really have no idea what to get him." Alexis furrowed her brow in frustration. "He is so hard to shop for."

Kate had to laugh, "Alexis, you got him a chocolate badge for his birthday and he talked about it for weeks."

"True, but this is it you know?"

Kate didn't quite understand, "This is it, what?"

"Our last Christmas" Kate gave the teenager an odd look. "I mean before I go to college next month. I know I'll come home for summer breaks the holidays, but I just think it will be different somehow."

Kate couldn't help but silently agree, _'if you only knew how different.'_ But she wasn't going to let on. "I know what you mean, things will be different, but he will always be your dad. You know he loves anything you get him, it doesn't have to be anything fancy."

Alexis nodded, "Hey, what did you get him?"

'_If you only_ knew' Kate couldn't help but think to herself again but quickly filled Alexis in on the various items she had purchased her husband. She had to admit she too found it difficult to buy things for him, he already had everything. She did manage to find a rare original copy of _The Pioneer _magazine from January 1843. It was the first published copy of Poe's "The Tell-Tale Heart." She knew it would make a nice addition to the collection Rick had in their study.

After wandering thru store after store Alexis finally settled on a new journal. Kate agreed that it would be a good idea, the one in his nightstand was looking a little ragged and she was sure it was probably close to being full. Alexis picked out a beautiful leather bound notebook with some very intricate stampings in the seemingly warn leather. It didn't have a lock on it like a little girl's diary, but it did have an elastic band to wrap around holding it closed. Kate thought it was perfect and told Alexis she would meet her just outside the store; it was going to take about twenty minutes to have Rick's name embossed on the cover.

Kate found a bench just outside the store she had left Alexis in and took seat. She was grateful to have found one considering the crowd. Normally she would be the last one to ever take up a spot usually reserved for the elderly, or whoever else might need a respite during a long day of spending money, but she suddenly found herself very exhausted. She was grateful for the pillar situated directly behind the chair she now occupied. She tilted her head back against it, closed her eyes and waited for Alexis. She had no idea how much time had passed before a familiar voice whispered in her ear.

"Hey hot mama," Rick was squatted down between her knees and placed a hand on her stomach as he spoke. "Hey to you too."

Kate startled in time to hear him address her abdomen. She leaned forward offering him a kiss, "I have a feeling you'll turn some heads on the playground too."

"There's only one head I'm interested in turning." He returned the affection Kate had offered. "You look tired; think it's about time to call it a day." He took her hand and pulled her to her feet.

Alexis had good timing and walked up as Rick and Kate turned. "Hey, you guys ready?"

Rick took the bags from both women and dug the keys from his pocket. "Hey pumpkin, you want to go get the car and meet us at the main exit? I want to run in one more store before we head out."

With Alexis gone Rick pulled his wife into the nearest store. Kate had been too tired to pay attention but her eyes flew open the second they fell onto some of the tiniest clothes she had ever seen. They were standing in a small baby boutique and Rick was as giddy as a school boy. He pointed out little pink onsies, then little blue ones. He held up booties and blankets and bibs. Kate just watched with wonder; she had never really thought about all the things they would need for a baby. Until now the concept was just so abstract. Suddenly she began to get emotional, he pulled her to back of the store to look at the strollers but when he turned and saw the tears forming in her eyes his glee quickly faded. He wrapped his arms around her.

"Kate, what's wrong? Do you feel okay?" She just nodded into his chest. She hid her face in her hands. "Did I do something?"

She just shook her head and tried to silence the sobbing that overtook her. Rick was worried but didn't know what to do; he just held her and rubbed her back as she let it out. After a few minutes her shaking subsided and he heard her take in a long cleansing breath. She finally pulled back and looked up at him with the odd combination of a smile and tears. It was now his turn to laugh.

"I am in so much trouble aren't I?" He was pretty sure he had just witnessed her first hormonal induced breakdown.

She practically blew her nose on his shirt and answered the only way she knew how, "Oh so much." She had hoped she wouldn't be one of those women that blamed her husband for her current predicament, but now she couldn't rationally think of anyone else to blame. She was glad he had broad shoulders because he was going to need them. "I think it is bad luck to buy the baby a gift this early." She pulled him toward the entrance, she was feeling so overwhelmed.

He stopped and grabbed a onsie from the rack. "Oh Kate, come on can't we get just one?"

"Castle, it's going to be a while before this baby needs anything to wear." She grabbed the garment reading _Baby's 1__st__ Christmas_ from his hand and hung it back on the rack and pulled him out the door.

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When they got home everyone slipped into separate rooms to finish wrapping the last minute gifts and slipped them under the tree. Rick had built a fire in the fireplace and pulled together a light pasta meal for the three of them to eat around the coffee table.

"Hey Dad, when is everybody coming out tomorrow?"

The Castle's had invited Kate's dad, Ryan, Jenny, Lanie and Esposito to join them for Christmas dinner. Martha would be arriving later this evening to spend Christmas morning with them as well. She had never said, but the older woman felt like her son and daughter-in-law needed to spend their first Christmas Eve together as a family.

"They should be arriving around two or so, dinner is at three, why?"

Alexis shrugged, "No reason, just never had anyone but me, you and Gram for Christmas before. It will be nice to be able to share the holidays with the whole family."

Kate left her plate on the table and stretched out on the couch. She knew Rick noticed how little she ate, but her stomach was beginning to play tricks on her. She rested her eyes while Rick and Alexis talked about the plans for the next day and how much fun it was going to be cooking for a large group. Kate had to chuckle as they mapped out the delicate timing it would require to get the turkey and all the fixings on the table at the right time. She allowed their voices to lull her to sleep.

"Goodnight Kate," Alexis kissed her cheek and Kate stirred from her nap. "Sorry, I didn't mean to wake you."

"What time is it?" Kate sat up and breathed in the aroma of homemade goodies as it filled the house.

"It's after midnight. Dad and I took care of all the baking. See you in the morning." Alexis began to stand to leave.

Kate jump up and grabbed the redhead, "Alexis, I'm sorry. I was supposed to help you guys, you must be so mad at me. I've ruined all are plans."

Alexis hugged Kate, "I don't care about any of that stuff. All I care about is that you're alive and here with us. I love you, Kate"

"I love you too sweetie, sweet dreams."

Kate watched Alexis climb the stairs and then went in search of her husband. She found him in the kitchen complete with an apron and oven mitts. There were at least ten pies of varying types spread across the bar. She watched as he packed about five dozen cookies into tins before he removed the apron and turned to find her standing in the doorway. He jumped slightly not realizing she was there.

"Hey, Sleeping Beauty isn't supposed to wake up without a kiss from Prince Charming." He made his way to her and slipped his arms around her waist, "Did you have a nice nap?"

She rested her head in the crook of his neck, "Yes, but you should have gotten me up. I was supposed to help with all this." She gestured to the baked goods spread throughout the room. "I keep disappointing Alexis."

Rick kissed her nose, "Nah, she was fine. In fact it was kind of nice to spend a little one-on-one time with her. Besides, you need your rest."

"Rick, I'm pregnant not broken. I should be able to make it thru one day without needing a five hour nap."

He scooped her up in his arms, "That's not why I let you sleep, see I have a little one-on-one time planned for my other girl tonight too."

She gave him a raised eyebrow, "Just a _little _huh?"

Rick carried her up the stairs to their room and softly placed her on their bed. "Well I don't want to brag."

Kate pulled him down to join her, _"__Most wives think of their husbands as bumbling braggarts with whom they happen to be in love."_

Nothing else needed to be said. Rick removed Kate's shoes and socks before undoing her jeans and sliding them down her slender legs. While he worked on his own clothing Kate lifted her sweater over her head leaving her in nothing but her bra and panties. Once he was similarly dressed he pushed her back down and covered her body with his own. She spread her knees and cradled his hips in the v of her legs. Rick supported his weight on his forearms on either side of Kate's head. He stopped his ascent leaving mere centimeters between their lips. She watched him as he ran his fingers over her face inspecting every inch both tacitly and with his baby blues. She rocked her hips with his, but he neither was that eager to move ahead just yet.

"Are you scared?" Rick didn't look her in the eye when he asked the question; he was busy following his fingers with his lips.

Kate ran her fingers along his sides, "Terrified."

"I would do for you if I could." Rick began to run his kisses down her neck.

"I believe you would, but somehow I don't think you're equipped…" His fingers scraped across her lips and she sucked them into her mouth cutting off her sentence.

Rick unclasped her bra and moved his hand to cover each breast, "I have to agree, you are much better equipped." He gave each one a gentle squeeze remembering how tender she had been that last few weeks. Kate's head flew back and she laughed at his pun but he continued. "I guess this is one situation where I can't say, _I have a guy_."

Kate was still laughing, "I'm pretty sure this is the one situation where everyone knows _I_ had the guy."

Rick laughed against her abdomen. He licked over her belly button ring; she still wore the one he had given her on their wedding day. "You know you're going to have to lose this pretty soon?"

She didn't have a chance to answer before his movements took her breath away. Rick had buried his face between her legs. The friction of his mouth combined with her underwear caused her to squeal. She immediately covered her mouth with her hand. It wasn't like their loft in the city where they had a floor separating their room from Alexis's. Here they only thing separating their room from hers was the bathroom and closet. She again broke out into fits of laughter and couldn't seem to hold down the noise level.

Rick knew he had to do something before they scarred Alexis for life. He quickly removed his boxers followed by her panties. He climbed back up the bed and covered her lips with his. She choked back a few more laughs; he was pretty sure he even heard a snort. He raised his head and gave her a questioning look.

"I'm sorry," She was still laughing but trying her best to keep the volume to a minimum. "I'm not sure why I can't stop laughing."

"It's better than the crying."

Rick hovered over her and she nodded in approval. He entered her slowly and allowed her to adjust accordingly. When she began to rock her hips against his he followed her lead. His movements were slow and he watched her close her eyes and relax into it. It never ceased to amaze him; each time they were together outshined the time before. It didn't matter how or where. All that mattered was that he was with her. The physical pleasure she provided was one thing but what she did far his soul was something far beyond words. And now to know the bond they share had created a life of its own only heightened the ecstasy.

Kate rested her hands on his chest and closed her eyes. She just needed to feel him. His body moved in time with hers, like two pieces of the same machine working together. Usually she took a more active role in the bedroom, but tonight she just let him love her. Knowing that what lay ahead for them was something so unknown to her; she needed to rely on him. He was her rock, he had been for years, even though she often fought it or at least took it begrudgingly; he never felt emasculated; a lesser man would have. But she wasn't going to do that to him now; not in this; she couldn't even fathom trying to to do this without him completely by her side.

When they were both close Kate opened her eyes and took his face in her hands. They held a whole conversation with just those eyes and finally both fell apart in each other's arms. Rick collapsed to her side and she settled into the crook of his neck. He draped his leg across her body and she spelled words on his chest with her fingers tips. Neither one was willing to close their eyes. Today was the day they had dreamed about and neither wanted it to end.

"You know we are going to have the time of our lives?" Rick fiddled with the ring in her belly button.

"Speak for yourself; I'm going to lose my lunch, then my figure and that's before I have to squeeze something the size of a football out an opening the size of a grapefruit."

"Yeah, but you know we are going to have the time of our lives?"

Kate just snuggled in closer, "Yeah I know."


	3. Chapter 3

**This is a long one and it kind of refers to a few things we discovered in TMYFML. I hope it all makes sense. I've discovered my stories don't have much of a plot. It seems they are just a series of moments or days in the lives of our favorite characters. **

**Don't own them which is a good thing, I can't afford the Christmas gifts these people give each other… Yikes!**

"Hurry up, I'm starving!"

Kate sat on the kitchen counter watching Rick prepare breakfast. It was Christmas morning and due to her late evening nap combined with the overwhelming thoughts of babies and pregnancy, sound sleep evaded her much of the night, and so now they were up before the sun.

"You could help." Rick shot her a wicked smile before returning his attention to the French toast on the griddle in front of him.

"Hey, I'm cooking a baby over here, breakfast is the least you can do."

Rick just shook his head. He had already stuffed and dressed the turkey along with about ten other things in preparation for their holiday feast. All while she sat comfortably sipping a hot cup of tea, which he had prepared, of course. But when he saw the little pout appear on her face, he couldn't resist. Grabbing a slice of banana, intended for the French toast, he sauntered across the kitchen, stopping to stand between her knees. Placing the slice of fruit between his teeth he leaned in.

"How 'bout we sare?" Correct pronunciation was difficult.

Kate wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him to her mouth. Before he knew it the only thing he tasted was his own quick intake of oxygen. He wasn't really clear what had happened. His head shot back and he watched her slowly and purposefully chew and swallow.

"You had your tongue in my mouth and I didn't even feel it? Do it again."

"Dad! The French toast is burning," Alexis grabbed the spatula and tossed the blackened food in the nearby trashcan before embracing her father in a bear hug. "Merry Christmas Dad."

"Merry Christmas Pumpkin," He squeezed her tighter, not yet willing to let his little girl go.

"Dad, let go!" She wiggled free and made her way to Kate who hopped from the counter and embraced the giddy teenager. "Good morning Kate, Merry Christmas."

Kate kissed Alexis's cheek, "Merry Christmas to you too Sweetie."

Kate watched the two of them work together to finish up breakfast. It was like watching a choreographed dance. They each knew which way to step so as not to be in the other's way. Alexis silently handed her father whatever utensil he might have been in need of at any given moment.

Rick didn't have to ask what they preferred; he just filled plates each to their own liking. Kate's plate held bacon and three slices of French toast smothered in butter and topped with fresh bananas. Poured over the whole thing was her new most favorite thing, simple syrup. Rick had introduced her to it early on and now she refused to even consider anything maple flavored since. Alexis however preferred mixed fruit in a cup on the side of her maple syrup and whipped cream covered entrée. As usual Rick seemed to do a little of everything. His bacon was swimming in maple-flavored goodness while a pool of simple syrup floated atop his banana garnished French toast. The cup of fruit to the side was piled high with whipped cream.

Finally Kate stepped in and performed her steps. They had rehearsed this many times; she was in charge of drinks, condiments, silverware and napkins. Never had anything so menial and domestic made her feel so complete. Everything that defined her happiness was here with her. She would be content to never leave this room.

The emotion seemed to hit her like a truck. She stood with the fridge door open a few extra seconds trying to regain some composure. She scolded herself for letting the hormones take control so easily. She didn't know how she would survive seven or eight months of it. Where was her ability to compartmentalize? Where were the neat little boxes she always shoved everything in? She couldn't even think rationally enough to decide between juice or milk much less apple, orange, cranberry, white, chocolate or soy. Thankfully, before she grabbed every beverage she could get her hands on, Rick slid up behind her. His hand around her middle and the calming kisses he placed down her neck stopped the room from spinning. He reached in and grabbed the chocolate milk and orange juice and pulled her back before letting the appliance door swing shut. He allowed her another beat to blow out a quick breath and wipe her moist eyes before turning her toward the table and their closely watching teenager.

"Hey, what about Martha?" Kate's voice sounded pretty normal to her own ears but wasn't sure Alexis was convinced.

Thankfully her husband was there to help her out again. "Mother knows the drill. We do breakfast before presents and she can choose to join us or not, but wrapping paper starts flying at eight o'clock sharp."

Kate just nodded and sat in the chair Rick had pulled out for her. He watched his wife carefully, he could pretty much read her moods in an instant, but when they were coming and going so quickly; swinging from happy and seductive one minute to weepy the next, he realized he was going to be spending the rest of her pregnancy on his toes. He had to laugh at the thought. Suddenly a long forgotten conversation popped into his head. At the time Kate had assumed he couldn't hear her and Agent Shaw in the back of the surveillance truck. He was pretending to listen to a set of headphones, but was as usual; hanging on Kate's every word.

_"Castle has the attention span of a Cocker Spaniel." He didn't miss the smirk on her perfect lips as she described him to the Agent._

_"And the loyalty" Neither did he miss the small nod Kate gave as she absorbed Jordan's meaning._

Thinking about it now, he was grateful both descriptions were accurate. It was going to take that exact mixture of hyperactivity and loyalty to take care of his wife. She would argue and tell him she didn't need taken care of, but they both knew differently. Yeah, she was a tough-as-nails cop that could kick the ass of just about any man that dare cross her, but she was also his soft sweet wife that loved romantic poetry and a quiet night on the couch watching the flames flicker in the fireplace while he massaged away the aches and pains those ass kickings caused.

And now apparently she was thirsty. He watched her down a whole glass of orange juice before refilling the glass, but this time with chocolate milk. He almost gagged at the thought of little pieces of pulp floating around in the chocolaty liquid. He was glad when she emptied the glass and moved on to her plate, but was worried when after one bite of bacon her face turned almost green. She waited until he and Alexis were deep in conversation before slipping the crispy meat onto his plate. He reached under the table and patted her knee. She gave him a much-needed apologetic look; he loved bacon, but could see that after today he wouldn't be partaking of it, for a while anyway.

"Gram!" Alexis jumped up and greeted Martha the same way she had Kate and her father. "Merry Christmas!"

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The four of them sat in the living room. Another fire was roaring and Christmas carols poured from the stereo. Father and daughter were both sitting on the floor amongst piles of wadded and shredded wrapping paper. After the first few gifts Kate had tried to gather up the trash but was met with two very stern sets of clear blue eyes. Before either could speak Martha interjected.

"Dear, you know they have their traditions."

"But it is just paper?"

Her mother-in-law shrugged and waved a dramatic hand Kate's direction. Kate decided to just go with it and sank into the couch to watch the festivities. Alexis tore thru package after package of clothes. Kate had spent half their honeymoon buying Alexis warm weather appropriate clothing. Considering Stanford was in California and Alexis's New York wardrobe consisted mostly of sweaters, long-sleeves shirts and jeans; Hawaii provided the perfect setting for obtaining enough warm weather garments to last her the first semester of school. Rick was just as excited if not more as he opened the journal from Alexis, the well-preserved magazine from Kate and a very expensive bottle of thirty year old scotch from his mother. Martha appreciated the various gift certificates Kate a Rick showered her with. They knew she was still decorating her new apartment so they made sure to get an eclectic mix and, needless to say, in true Castle style Martha could now fill two apartments and never have to spend another penny of her own money. Alexis gave her grandmother a simple but elegant picture frame in which she had inserted a picture of the two of them from Kate and Rick's wedding. Martha gifted her only grandchild with plane tickets. The two of them were going to Paris the first week of January. It would be the last chance the two of them could spend some time together before college for Alexis and the opening of Martha's acting school busied them too much to go away together again.

Kate carefully peeled the paper off of her gifts. Rick had gotten her a few items of clothing, some perfume and a gift certificate for monthly visits to her and Lanie's favorite spa. Martha had managed to find her a leather jacket in a shade of red she didn't currently have. Needless to say, Kate loved it. Alexis gave her a first addition Wuthering Heights by Emily Bronte; of course the December 1847 publication was printed under the _pseudonym_ Ellis Bell. She didn't even have a chance to ask before Alexis confessed to having a little help with that purchase. Finally Rick retrieved another box from the mantle and handed it to Alexis. Kate knew very well what was in that box; the two of them had picked it out together.

"Let's let Alexis open this one next."

Alexis looked confused, "I already opened all my gifts, didn't you get Kate anything else?"

"Kate and I have a few more items to exchange later." He winked at his wife knowing neither Martha nor Alexis would touch that comment.

Alexis didn't have to tear any paper; you don't wrap a Tiffany's box. "Dad, you must own stock in that place by now."

"If it ain't broke don't fix it," was his only reply.

Alexis's eyes filled with tears as she pulled out the dainty charm bracelet. Kate had never been fond of such things because they were generally bulky and gaudy, but as Rick had insinuated, Tiffany's always did it right. Alexis jumped up from the floor and sat next to Kate. They put their heads together and examined each detail. The chain was a series of gold and silver loops each about a quarter inch in diameter. Both Castle women preferred silver but the variety of charms the elite jeweler provided dictated that a mix of precious metals would be required.

"See, on this one is our family."

Kate fingered the charms representing Alexis, Rick and herself. "A black and gold fountain pen with a red ink dipped tip, a black and platinum high heel shoe, an 18k rose gold letter A and to round out the unit; a sand castle. Then she shifted to another loop and pointed.

"Your grandparents." Alexis saw the Thespian Drama Mask representing Martha and a watch, similar to the one Kate wore to symbolize Jim. He and Alexis had grown quite close over the last few months and in no way did she consider him anything less than a grandparent. Alexis softly touched the gold angel, she knew it was for the grandmother she would never meet and leaned her head on Kate's shoulder as they shared a moment before twisting the glittery red shoe that accompanied the other three.

"That one was your Dad's idea" Kate and Alexis both waited for his explanation.

"That's for Gram's family" Receiving a pair of blanks stares from the redheads and a sly smirk from his wife, he explained. _"Toto, we're not in Kansas anymore."_

"Richard I don't know if I should kiss you or smack you for that one." Martha joked.

Alexis and Kate ignored the bickering and moved to the last set of charms. Kate pointed out the book to represent Alexis's love of reading, the cap and gown; she had technically graduated from high school even though there had been no ceremony because she finished early. There was also a violin, a diamond incrusted NY City charm, a Rodeo Dr. street sign and a little blue scooter.

"Dad, that doesn't count. I'm still waiting for that Vespa."

Rick just ignored the complaint and began crawling around on the floor collecting all the discarded paper and ribbons. However he came to full attention when both his wife and daughter yelled out his name simultaneously.

"Richard Castle!"

"Dad!"

"What?" They held out the bracelet. He didn't need to look to know they had both discovered the frog.

Kate spoke first, "What is that?"

He gave her his best innocent smile, "That represents Ashley."

It was Alexis's turn to yell, "What? Why a frog?"

"Because, it will only take a kiss from my little princess to turn him onto a prince." He raised his hands in case they decided to jump from the couch and poke him, Kate was good at that. "Hey, my first thought was a casket." Seeing the flaring nostrils he quickly explained himself. "You know, just to remind Ashley of what I will do to him if he ever hurts my pumpkin." He put his index finger to his chin feigning deep thought, "Of course I had to decide against it since that is the celebrity couple name the media gave Kate and I."

Alexis rolled her eyes, "Well I guess I can thank the paparazzi for something."

Suddenly the phone rang and they all knew who it was. Christmas morning was the only time Meredith actually kept a promise. Of course she could have waited until they were done opening their gifts, but at least she made an effort.

"Thank you Kate, I love it.' She kissed Kate on the cheek and then tackled her dad as he continued around the room on all fours with trash bag in hand. "You too dad, I love it. Symbolism and jewelry, it's so us." Then she was off to grab the phone.

Kate stood to help collect the rest of the paper and straighten up the scattered gifts. Again she was met with a hand in the air and Martha shaking her head at her. She sat back down. "How can that be a tradition?"

"It all started after an extremely desired Gameboy Mario Kart game cartridge disappeared somewhere between the opening of the gifts and the collection of the trash. There was a lot of crying and even some searching through the dumpster behind our building." Rick finished his garbage collection and plopped down beside his wife wrapping her in a huge hug.

"I'm sure Alexis knew you would buy her another one." Martha let out a huge crack of laughter at Kate's apparent misunderstanding before gathering up her gifts to take them to her room. Kate looked at Rick, "Did you really cry?"

"It was the best gift she got me that year." Rick laid his head in her lap, happy to have a moment alone with her. "I do have a few more things for you. I'm saving them for tonight." She ran her fingers through his hair and they sat in comfortable silence.

Rick finally spoke, "Symbolism and jewelry? So us?"

Kate slid down beside him and he turned to spoon up behind her. "Well, you're an author so you use symbolism every day and I wear a ring for my mom and a watch for my dad. It makes sense to me."

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By noon Rick and Alexis were scurrying around the kitchen, Martha was off in her room doing who knows what and Kate was knocked out on the couch. Rick waited until the last possible minute to wake her up and scoot her upstairs for a shower. She came down just in time to greet their guests at the door. They all gathered around the dining room table and before they dug into what had to be the biggest feast Kate had ever laid eyes on, Rick stood to make a toast.

"First of all, Kate, Alexis, Mother and I would like to thank you for humbling us with your attendance today. We know most of you had other options for the holiday." Rick took Kate's hand and continued to speak. "Although this year has been the best of my life, it was also filled with tragedy for us all." A few heads around the table ducked to hide the emotion welling up in their eyes at the reminder of their fallen leader. Only four of them knew the truth behind his death, but they all felt the effects of his passing. "So today as we celebrate all the good things in life and look forward to another year, that I am convinced will be filled with just as much joy as this one." He squeezed Kate's hand then continued, "Let us also remember the ones that weren't able to join this family and be sure to honor the legacy they leave behind."

Kate then took her turn to speak; she couldn't come up with something as eloquent as Rick had, so she called upon a quotation she read in a biography once. _"I have learned that some of the nicest people you'll ever meet are those who have suffered a traumatic event or loss. I admire them for their strength, but most especially for their life gratitude - a gift often taken for granted by the average person in society." _She wiped a tear from her eye, "I am proud to call you all family, Merry Christmas."

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"That was the best Christmas ever." Kate flipped off the bathroom light and climbed over the footboard and into bed.

Rick stuck the pen he was writing with into his new journal and tossed it on the nightstand. He was now waiting with open arms, "agreed."

She snuggled into his chest. "In case I didn't tell you earlier, thank you." She kissed the bare skin over his heart.

"For what?"

"Oh I don't know; breakfast, the gifts, lunch, the massage… I could go on and on."

"No really, go on," Rick tickled her side. "Hey, I wasn't joking when I said I had a few more gifts for you."

He moved encouraging her to sit up next to him against the headboard. He leaned over the side and lifted up a stack of books tied together with a ribbon decorated with baby blocks and teddy bears.

"Hey, I thought we decided it was bad luck?"

"You decided and these are for you, not the baby."

Kate cocked her head to read the titles down the spines. "Yeah right; _Goodnight Moon, Peter Rabbit, Paddington Bear." _She stopped at those three.

"Yeah, see we've been reading murder mysteries and murder reports not to mention murder boards for so long that we need practice reading books that are less depressing. I mean, we can't scare the bejezus out of the little one here, now can we?" He spoke with a funny voice and leaned down so the baby could hear him. "I figured we could read them to each other and I can give you pointers on making cute voices."

"I do not need pointers; I can do the voices just fine."

"Yeah, if all the characters are villains you'll do great."

Kate slapped his chest but conceded, "I guess I can see your point, but you'll have to go first. I'd feel a little stupid going first and we both know you do stupid with pride."

"That's right,_ love is being stupid together." _He leaned over and gave her a loud sloppy kiss on the cheek.

Kate took the stack of books and placed them on the floor on her side of the bed. "I have something else to read tonight. I asked my dad to bring this from his house today." Kate pulled a pink book out of her nightstand. "He gave me a knowing look when he handed it to me, so don't be surprised if he isn't shocked when we finally tell everyone." She laid the book in her lap and took a deep breath. "I have never shared this with anyone; it was too sacred between my mom and me."

Rick had a feeling he knew what it was and felt honored that she would even consider sharing it with him. He really wanted to see it, but didn't want her to feel obligated. "Kate you don't have to share it if you want it to remain between just you and her."

"No, I want to share it with you. You realize you have included me in everything that has always been just between you and Alexis? It's like I've always been here. I want you to feel that way with me."

He scooted as close to her as he could and kissed her shoulder. He watched her open the baby book. He couldn't take his eyes off of the tiny bundle filling the picture glued to the first page. He knew she had to of been a beautiful baby, but just how beautiful he couldn't have guessed. Her brown hair stuck out in all directions and her dark eyes sparkled from the page almost denying the three decades of age it obviously held. Her parents had wrapped her in a soft cream colored blanket and even at a day old she fought for independence. Her long slender fingers pressed against the fabric begging for freedom from the swaddling. He read her specs across the bottom of the page.

_Katherine Houghton Beckett_

_November 17th 1979_

_6 lb 5 oz_

_22 1/4 inches_

"Even tall and thin at birth, huh?"

"Yeah" Her voice was soft and dreamy; her smile was wide and lit up the room. "My mom was so proud of my round head. I was stubborn even then and didn't want to come out. She had to have a C-section but she always said it worked out for the best; no one wanted a cone headed baby, and most newborn pictures required a hat to cover the temporary condition, but not me." Kate ran her fingertip along, what Rick had to assume was her mother's hand holding the baby Kate close in the corner of the picture. "She always said I was perfect."

"Your mother was a brilliant woman."

Kate turned the page and began to read to him. Johanna had recorded her whole pregnancy; from the day she discovered she was carrying Kate until her first birthday. As she read she could almost hear her mother's voice in place of her own. She watched Rick as his face moved closer and closer to the book with each turn of the page. She knew he was memorizing every picture of her pregnant mother's belly, of Jim Beckett as a nervous father to be and of Kate as a precocious baby. He ran his fingers thru her hair when they came to the small envelope containing the clipping from her first haircut. Then she watched as worry contorted his face when she read her mother's heart wrenching entry from around the time Kate was about six months old.

"_My perfect Katie,_

_Today I prayed more prayers than I have in the entirety of my life. At first I prayed the seizure that overtook your small body rendering you lifeless in my arms had never happened, but not even God can turn back the clock. Then I prayed for that seizure to be an isolated incident, a blip on the RADAR of your life, but soon realized if God had afflicted you by mistake I couldn't ask that another mother's child be the recipient of His corrected error. So then I begged, if it must be, transfer it to me. I will gladly bear any pain He might have planned for your life. Finally, after all my prayers, I heard a voice. I can't say for sure if it was His, I had never heard it before, but I listened anyway. He told me he couldn't gift you a life free from pain but He could promise you would always have a set of arms to comfort you when the pain came. My only hope, if those arms aren't mine, please let them be the arms of someone that loves you at least half as much as I do."_

"I forgot about that."

Rick sat up and his scared eyes held hers, "You had seizures? How long? How many?"

Kate caressed his face, "Just that one, there was never really any explanation beyond something about temporary abnormal brain wave activity. My dad had apparently had them quite frequently as a child. The doctor's said it was most likely genetic." Kate's face suddenly when slack and her hand fell to her stomach, "Oh god!"

Rick sat the book aside and pulled her down in the bed. He covered her hand with his and wrapped the other arm around her shoulders. "These aren't the arms of someone who loves you at least half as much as she did. I can guarantee they are the arms of someone who loves you ten times as much." He squeezed her tighter. "But would it be okay if I prayed that our little one inherits my brain wave activity?"

Kate snuggled in closer tangling their arms and legs together. She spoke into his neck, "If you tell anyone I said this I will deny it, but I kind of love your brain wave activity."

**xxxxxxxxxx**

**Let me just say, most of those charms are actually for sale at Tiffany's. As a little eye opener, that charm bracelet would cost anywhere between $3000 and $4000.**


	4. Chapter 4

**I am having so much fun writing this story, and I love the reviews. I am so glad to know that there are other sappy people out there. I also just realized that I really like a Damsel and distress. I am really going to put Kate thru the ringer. But, isn't that what pregnancy does?**

**Oh yeah and just one day after I posted chapter one Michael Ausiello scooped that the replacement for Captain Montgomery will be a woman. Who's with me on the Elizabeth Mitchell bandwagon?**

**xxxxxxxxxx**

"I can't believe you've never done this?"

"I have a job."

"I know, but this is a must see, and you grew up here."

"It's not like I haven't _seen_ it, I used to work the scene when I was in uniform."

"And after?'

"I usually volunteered to be on call so the other detectives could be with their families. Plus, I'd have been an idiot to pass up the triple time."

"Oh, so I have the new Captain and her overtime budget cutting obsession to thank for getting to spend New Year's Eve in Time's Square with my beautiful wife?"

"Seriously, what's that about? It's not like murderers only kill Monday thru Friday between the hours of eight and five."

"Hey, I for one am grateful. It makes my life a lot easier knowing you are getting a good night sleep at least three or four nights a week. Plus, I don't think you need to worry about triple time anymore." Rick felt her stiffen and quickly replayed his remark in his head trying to decipher what she heard compared to what he actually said.

"Oh, I'm sorry I make your life so difficult and thank you so much for supporting my extravagant lifestyle." Kate huffed and struggled against his embrace.

Rick turned his wife in his arms. They were standing on one of the balconies of his publishing company's upscale high-rise. It was where he and Alexis always watched the New Year's Eve ball drop and subsequent fireworks. It allowed them to be in the center of the action without having to fight the maddening and deafening crowd below. It also allowed them shelter from the bitter temperatures having only to emerge from the building minutes before the ball was to drop. Even in the darkness he could see the flash of anger in her eyes. Rick had spent the last few days learning to walk the tightrope between making Kate furious and making her cry. He often found himself wishing for the uncontrollable laughter that had been present on Christmas Eve. Even their usual banter often ended in flared tempers and hurtful words.

"Forgive me for wanting you to get enough rest so that you feel good. Oh wait, and for having enough money to provide us with a comfortable life." He didn't let her go. Even with angry words between them her comfort was his utmost priority and his body was the only thing blocking the winter wind from hers.

"If this is how you're going to be the whole time, than I'm not sure this baby thing was such a good idea."

She forcibly removed his arms from her shoulders and stalked into the adjacent office. Stunned, Rick staggered forward and gripped the railing. Her words stung more than the icy needles pounding his face with each gust of wind. He knew she didn't mean them, but telling her that right now would only make things worse. He closed his eyes and took deep breaths. He needed to gain his composure. She needed some space and he needed to get control over his anger before he made the situation worse. He didn't raise his head even as he heard the words they had waited all evening to hear.

_Ten… nine… eight… seven… six…_

Kate slammed the door behind her, leaving him to pout alone. He had done nothing but hover over her for the last week. She couldn't turn around without him being there. He was constantly telling her to sit down or go take a nap, and the food_. Did he think she was having a litter? _He had stuffed enough food in her to feed a small army. She felt like she couldn't breathe around him. She sat in the nearest chair she could find and hung her head in her hands. She hardly heard the commotion beyond the glass.

Five… four… three… two… one…

Suddenly Rick spun around and headed for the sliding door that separated them. Hurtful words or not, he loved her and would choose a lifetime of her wrath over being separated from her, even if for just a few minutes. He grabbed the handle and released his anger with one last forceful breath before sliding the glass open.

Even as she seethed, Kate was on her feet making her way back the way she had come. She didn't _want_ to breathe without him. It was Rick's unbridled devotion that motivated his ever-present need to take care of her. How could she be angry with him for being him? It was after all one of the reasons she loved him, adored him. She stopped inches from the sliding door to push away the anger that had temporarily taken over.

Door open standing face to face, each halves of a whole; Rick slipped his arms around her and pulled her against his chest. Kate rested her forehead against his and she encircled his ribcage with her arms. Mouths didn't move but a million apologies were given. No voices were heard, but the "_I'm sorrys" _filled the freezing air around them.

Having been the first to strike, Kate knew she needed to be the first to soothe. _"A woman would run through fire and water for such a kind heart."_

Apology accepted and affirmed, "_Love is an act of endless forgiveness, a tender look which becomes a habit."_

Their lips met with a tenderness that could only exist between real lovers. Their touches became the balm to cure all the hurtful words and figurative wounds. The fireworks exploded above their heads but neither lifted their gaze to witness the wonder. They could see all the beauty the world had to offer right there in each other's eyes.

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"Castle! What did you do to my girl?"

Lanie was still standing over the dead body that she and Kate had been discussing for the last half hour. Castle had left the two women to join Ryan and Esposito. Well actually more like watch and laugh at them as they dumpster dove in hopes of locating the murder weapon or maybe something to ID the victim.

"What? I didn't do anything. Where is she?" Castle spun in circle's looking for his partner.

Lanie crossed her arms and Castle was sure a threat was headed his direction. "One minute we were discussing cause of death, the next she was running out of here like a bat out of hell." Lanie pointed away from the crime scene in the direction of Beckett's car.

Castle didn't bother to explain, he just took off running to find her. She had been feeling especially tired the last couple of days. Of course, from everything they had read and also confirmed with the nurse at Dr. Candace's office when Kate called to make an appointment, fatigue was normal at this stage. So far they had been lucky and morning sickness seemed to be minimal, and could be held at bay with a handful of saltines. However, Kate was convinced that she would again take after her mother and would soon be hit full force soon. He finally found her leaning up against the car. He could tell she had been throwing up, her eyes were watery and she was downing a bottle of water to rinse away the taste.

"Like mother like daughter, huh?"

Kate just nodded and continued to chug the water. Rick wavered between wrapping her in his arms and turning away to give her a chance to compose herself. After their fight on New Year's Eve he had promised to try to keep the hovering to a minimum and she had promised to ask for help when she needed it instead of completely wearing herself down before being forced to relax.

"Can you drive us back to the precinct?" Kate held the car keys out with a shaky hand.

The gesture was all the invitation needed; he took the keys and pulled her close all in one move. It was a quick embrace considering they were just a few yards from an active crime scene, but he felt her lean into it just a second longer than he expected. He placed his lips to her forehead. The move held a dual purpose; it was a kiss and a quick temperature check. To his surprise and satisfaction she was cool and clammy against his skin.

Kate rested her eyes against the headrest as Rick drove across town. She had to close her eyes; the motion of the passing cars caused the nausea to increase. She was wracking her brain trying to figure out if there was anything in the trunk or back seat she could use incase she had to throw up again before they made it back to the precinct. She was thankful for her husband's silence; she didn't think she could stand to listen to any of his ramblings at that very moment. After parking and making their way to her desk, Rick silently watched her as she tried to review some of the reports that had already begun to pour in from forensics and ballistics. He brought her hot tea and crackers and furrowed his brow as she refused to even look at either offering. He stood outside the ladies room door all five times she found herself heaving, and only made one crack about measuring the handicapped stall to see if her desk would fit inside. Finally after about three hours of complete misery Kate gave in.

"Rick can you please take me home?"

She laid her head on her forearms on her desk expecting him to turn off her computer and file away the reports she had failed to comprehend. Of course he did all those things before slipping into Captain Gate's office. Kate watched thru the blinds as the older woman glanced in her direction and nodded. He was once again at her side and helped her to her feet. He slipped her coat over her shoulders, grabbed her purse and guided her to the elevator.

"Can you text Lanie and the guys?"

"Already done, and I took a picture of the murder board incase you feel like conferencing in with them later."

xxxxxxxxxx

"Hey Pumpkin"

Rick listened to his daughter as she gleefully ran thru the events of her day. She and Martha had been in Paris for three days so far. Normally he hated every moment that she was away, but this time he was actually grateful she was gone. With Kate's first OB/GYN appointment still a week away they would have had trouble explaining Kate's illness without letting the cat out of the bag.

"Dad? Are you even listening to me?"

"Sorry, just a little preoccupied. Kate isn't feeling very well; can I have a do over?"

Alexis's voice sounded concerned, "Can I talk to her?"

"Sorry, she's asleep; I don't really want to bother her."

"Tell her I love her and I hope she feels better soon. Goodnight Dad."

"Night Pumpkin, love you too."

Rick made his way back to their bedroom. He was going to try for the umpteenth time to get some food into Kate. Thankfully she hadn't thrown up in the last few hours, but that might have only been because she was asleep the whole time. He tried to remember the last meal she had managed to keep down since leaving the precinct early the previous day, but his foggy mind couldn't be certain. The last twenty-four hours had been pretty bad. Kate was right, severe morning sickness was yet another way she was just like her mother. After spending much of the previous evening curled up on the bathroom floor dreading the next round of vomiting; Rick finally managed to convince her that he didn't mind cleaning up after her. She had since slept hugging the plastic basin the hospital had sent home with Alexis after she had her Appendix removed.

As she slept Rick had revisited Kate's baby book. He was grateful for Johanna's detailed story telling skills. In fact, he had to admit they rivaled his own. Anyway, according to her experience, the severe morning sickness only lasted about a week and the rest of her pregnancy was smooth sailing after that. Well of course until the C-section.

He also spent some time researching morning sickness on the internet. His head spun as he read about increased progesterone relaxing muscles including the digestive tract therefore slowing digestion and increasing stomach acid causing vomiting. He also read about the buildup of hCG and was happy to read that the levels taper off at about twelve weeks of pregnancy, which according to their rough guestimate would be next week. He found himself comforted at the news that recent studies have shown mothers who have morning sickness have fewer miscarriages.

He had also read about some remedies. He had tried the eating frequently idea making sure to only offer her bland non greasy choices, he tried peppermint flavored teas before resorting to bringing her a platter of saltines only. So far he had no idea if any of them actually worked because Kate refused to even try. He did learn quickly that the idea of placing lemon scented oil on a handkerchief for her to sniff whenever a strong smell increased her nausea worked like a charm. The fact that the smell of his soap, shampoo, cologne and even the fabric softener on the sheets all seemed to make her sick was a little disheartening. But when Kate became convinced that she could smell the electricity flowing through the wires in the walls, he gave up all together and called the doctor.

Now he was really worried. The nurse he spoke to suggested that Kate might be one of the .5 percent of women that suffered from something called Hyperemesis Gravidarium, a severe morning sickness that can cause dehydration, weight loss and even miscarriage. She suggested he try once more to get food into his wife. If that failed a trip to the ER would be the next step. They would offer some anti-emetics and an IV of fluids commonly called a banana bag.

".5 percent, why does she have to be so damn extraordinary?" Rick wasn't really talking to her but she heard him anyway and began to stir. He sat on the bed next to her and brushed her hair from her eyes. "Kate you need to eat something."

"Uh-uh can't"

He hadn't heard a complete sentence from her in a while. He placed the tray containing chicken broth and some crusty bread on the floor. He had tried to make an educated guess as to what might be the easiest thing on her stomach. "You have to, you can't get too dehydrated. It's better to eat it and throw some of it up than not eat any at all."

"Tried"

"Try again," Rick had hoped it wouldn't get to this point, but had practiced his stern voice just in case. "I called the doctor's office and they said you may need to go the ER if you can't keep something down. It's been almost thirty-six hours since you ate anything." He didn't want to have to remind her that the last three times she threw up it was nothing but water, the only thing he could convince her to even swallow.

Even in her weakened state Kate could hear the worry in Rick's voice. She knew she had to try even though all she wanted to do was sleep. She tried to sit up, but her muscles shook from lack of energy and her sides ached from the repeated heaving. Rick leaned forward to help her sit up and his hands on her ribcage felt like a vise. She groaned in pain.

"I'm sorry Kate, but I'm worried."

Kate nodded toward the food tray and he placed it across her lap. The smell alone caused her mouth to water; she was surprised she had enough liquid left in her body for even that involuntary response. She was starving, but her stomach spun and twisted into knots as he lifted the spoon to her mouth. Normally she would have been too proud to let anyone feed her, but she could see the fear in Rick's eyes. She had seen that same fear a few months back as he threw himself on top of her only seconds before a bullet whizzed by them both. They didn't know it at the time, but he had saved both his wife and child that day, and that is exactly what he was trying to do today. Kate sipped at the broth and squeezed her eyes shut; practically willing the foul liquid down her throat. She saw the slight relief on Rick's face as she nodded for another. Five spoonfuls and a chunk of bread later she had had enough and Rick seemed satisfied enough at her attempt. He helped her lay back down and left to take the tray to the kitchen.

Kate lay there praying the food would stay down. She didn't want a trip to the ER. Every time either she or Rick went to the hospital it ended up in the paper. When she was injured on the job last summer and even when Alexis had an emergency appendectomy. She couldn't let her family and friends find out she was pregnant that way, it wouldn't be fair to them, not after all they had been thru for her. She had known this was more than typical morning sickness and had been considering an alternative even before Rick suggested the ER. She crawled out of bed and made her way to the kitchen. Rick grabbed a barstool and tried to steer her to it but she had another destination in mind. Kate had known it was too good to be true as she leaned over the sink and once again expelled the much needed nutrients.

"Ah Kate"

He was by her side as usual. He held her hair back and supported her weight as she heaved and gagged. He filled a glass with water so she could rinse her mouth.

"Rick, can you call Lanie?'

_Why hadn't he thought of that?_ Lanie was a doctor, she could administer the same treatment as the ER and their privacy would be maintained. He hated that Alexis wouldn't be the first one they told about the baby, but if something wasn't done soon, there might not be a baby, so the choice was easy. He scooped Kate up and took her back to bed. Sitting beside his wife he grabbed her cell and called their friend. He made sure to put it on speaker. Sick or not Kate wanted to at least hear her best friend's response to the news.

"Girl, I can't believe you called in sick. I've never known you to…."

Rick cut her off, "Lanie, its Castle."

Lanie's tone turned serious, "Castle, what did you do to my girl?"

"Hey, why are you always accusing me of doing something to her?" Castle whined.

"Because I know you. What's up?"

Rick didn't really know how to start, "Kate's sick."

"Thank you Captain obvious, what kind of sick?"

Rick tried again, "She's lovesick." He winked at Kate and she just shook her head. Leave it to him to joke at a time like this.

There was a short pause from the other end of the phone before Lanie's scolding tone barreled from the tiny speaker. "Kate?"

"I'm here." Kate's voice was weak and shaky.

"Is that your Writer Monkey's creative way of telling me that he knocked you up?"

**xxxxxxxxxx**

**So many of you have mentioned that you can't wait until they share the news. All in due time, but at least Lanie knows now..**


	5. Chapter 5

**This one is a little shorter than my normal and it is almost all dialogue. Not sure I like it as well as some others, but I can't seem to make it be exactly what I wanted.**

**Also, a lot of people have commented on the backstory from Chapter 3. I thought about Kate's relationship with her mom. Andrew Marlowe hasn't told us much past the Temptation Lane thing and her career. But, for some reason I feel like the bond between Kate and Johanna was atypical. Yes, we all love our mothers but it just seems like they had something extra. Think about the way Kate answered Castle in Knockdown when he was looking at pictures of Kate and her mother ice-skating. She had a dreamy sort of tone to her voice and a smile we don't see much. Anyway, I just like to explore moments between Johanna and Kate that can help explain this closeness.**

**I don't own them but I do own any mistakes. I really can't spell worth a darn….**

**xxxxxxxxxxx **

Two hours later a much disheveled Richard Castle stood face to face with a very stern looking Medical Examiner.

"Whoa, that bad huh?"

Castle usually appreciated their friend's humor but wasn't up to responding in kind. He just grabbed the bag she was holding and ushered her into the loft. "Yeah that bad; thanks for coming Lanie."

"Castle, she's my girl, it wasn't even a question."

Castle placed the large bag on the counter and started to unload it. Lanie was still holding a plastic case of some sort; he assumed it held the medical supplies she would need to start an IV. He read each box as he removed it from the bag. Lanie had apparently purchased every anti-morning sickness remedy she could find. There were suckers and lozenges enriched with Vitamin C, an acupuncture band that reminded Castle of a watch Alexis wore when she was ten and in her _pink_ phase, two different jars of tea; one to reduce nausea and the other for heartburn. He had to laugh; Kate hadn't eaten enough to give a flea heartburn let alone a grown woman. There was even a CD boasting a ninety percent success rate in eliminating morning sickness.

"Lanie, did you buy out the whole store?"

She ignored him, "Okay, where's my patient?"

Castle led her to the bedroom he shared with his wife. He opened the door and stood aside motioning for Lanie to head on in. He headed back to the kitchen to clean up. He figured Kate and Lanie would want a little girl time.

Lanie approached the bed, "So this is where the magic happens?" Kate just snorted at her from her position on the bed. "Whew girl, you look terrible." Lanie sat on the edge of the bed facing Kate placing her hand on her friend's arm.

"I can always count on you not to sugar coat it."

"That's Writer Boy's job. So a baby huh?" Lanie cocked her head slightly trying to act shocked but Kate could tell her friend was excited for her. Lanie finally cracked a huge smile and embraced her. "I'm so happy for you. A little surprised, but happy."

"Why surprised?" Kate had told Lanie many times that she and Rick wanted kids.

"It's just quick, that's all. I figured Castle would want to be the center of your world for a while before…"

Kate just smiled and closed her eyes thinking about her husband. "He's been the center of my world for over three years now." She opened them again to make sure Lanie had absorbed the comment. "Plus, he's very good at sharing, so I think we'll manage."

"I'm looking at a result of that _sharing_ and it isn't so pretty."

"Well I think she's beautiful." Castle entered the room and climbed in the bed next to Kate. He kissed her cheek and took her hand in his. "So, what's in that bag of tricks you got there, doctor?"

Lanie opened the case and pulled out her stethoscope and blood pressure cuff. "Let me check your vitals, I'm sure they're fine but I promised Dr. Candace I'd be thorough." Lanie had requested Kate's OB's name before she came over. She felt it was professional courtesy if she was going to treat Kate. "Then I'll start the IV."

Lanie listened to Kate's heart then checked her pulse and BP. Once she was satisfied she pulled out the bag of yellow liquid. Of course Castle had questions. Lanie explained that the bag of IV fluids containing vitamins and minerals, to include thiamine, folic acid, and magnesium sulfate, would replenish the nutritional deficiencies in Kate's body. She had trouble finding a vein in the crook of Kate's arm so she opted for her hand. She again had to explain that dehydration sometimes made it difficult to locate veins that would normally be quite evident. Once the fluid was dripping she settled down in the chair Castle had pulled close to the bed for her to sit in.

"Kate, are you sure you want to raise a kid with this guy? He asks more questions than a three year old."

Kate patted her pouting husband on the chest. "He's just looking out for me. Despite my many arguments to the contrary, I'm not always so good at it." She leaned into Rick's shoulder and yawned.

"Speaking of looking out for you," Lanie stood up and pulled Kate down in the bed. "You need to rest and he" pointing to Rick, "Needs a shower." Her look was stern so neither of them argued.

Rick kissed Kate on the cheek, grabbed some clothes from their dresser and made his way to the bathroom. Kate turned and watched her friend as she wandered around the room. Lanie paused at every picture, knick-knack and book as she came upon it. Finally she stopped at the window and took in the view of their city before making her way back over to Kate.

"What?" Kate was tired but for some reason sleep avoided her.

Lanie shook her head slightly, "A little envious I guess."

"Oh, because being me right now is so great" Kate joked.

"People have killed for half of what you have."

"Trust me, I know, I've arrested those people." Kate couldn't pass up the quip even though Lanie was being serious. "Hey, what's going on? I thought things were going well with you and Esposito."

Lanie smiled just hearing his name, "They are and I really love him."

"But?"

Lanie sighed and looked around the room again, "But is it the kind of love that would jump in front of a bullet? Is it the kind of love that would render me incapable of even bathing of he was suffering in any way?" She looked away from Kate's eyes, resting them on her hands in her lap "I'm just not sure."

Kate glanced toward the bathroom door, "Yeah he forgets to breathe sometimes. I have to remind him. But we don't hold the monopoly on love you know." She reached out to squeeze Lanie's hand.

"I know, like I said; just a little envious." Needing to change the subject she stood and checked on the IV, Castle had hung in on the curtain rod above the bed. "How'ya feeling?"

"Better, not quite as shaky anyway."

Lanie pulled out one of the lozenges and gave it to Kate to suck on, "This is for the nausea. I brought a whole package so once you're back on your feet you can use them at work whenever you start to feel sick. Have you had any cramping?"

"No, I would have gone to the ER if I had."

"Not just that kind of cramping. Low potassium can cause some muscles cramps."

Kate thought about the previous evening's restlessness, "Yeah a few Charlie Horses last night, I think. It's all kind of a blur."

"Well hopefully that will ease up with this first bag of fluids."

Rick emerged from the bathroom, "First bag, she needs more than one?"

"Well, this one tonight then we will see how she does with a light breakfast. But another one tomorrow might be a good idea. Good thing tomorrow is Saturday otherwise I would've had to charge you for a sick day."

"Whatever the price, it would have been worth it." Rick climbed back in the bed next to Kate.

Lanie picked up the plastic case from the floor but didn't open it. "Okay, so how pregnant are we?"

"As far as we can guess, about eleven weeks."

"Eleven weeks and you haven't been to the OB yet?" Lanie was once again using her scolding tone.

Rick interjected, "Well Kate was fashionably late to the party."

Kate slapped his shoulder, "Hey, that's not nice." She turned to Lanie. "Anyway, the next available appointment she had was next week. She said she would go ahead and do the first ultrasound that day too."

"Well, I guess that means you haven't heard the heartbeat yet?"

Rick got all fidgety in the bed. He was hoping Lanie had another magic trick in that case of hers. He and Kate both shook their heads and watched as Lanie pulled an odd little machine from the case.

"Now, don't get your hopes up. Sometimes these Doppler machines aren't strong enough, but if you want we can give it a shot. Usually anywhere between ten and twelve weeks is the earliest they can detect anything." Lanie waited for their decision.

They didn't even have to speak. One glance in each other's eyes was enough to confirm that they both wanted desperately to hear their baby's heartbeat. Rick took Kate's hand and they both nodded to Lanie.

"Now Castle, you probably remember this from Alexis, but it won't sound like much more than a rapid whooshing. Right now it is probably beating at over one hundred and eighty beats per minute." Lanie prepared the machine and encouraged Kate to lift her night shirt up and lower the waist of her sweat pants. She and Kate both paused with what Castle said next.

"Actually, Meredith didn't let me go to any of her appointments with her. In fact she barely let me touch her when she was pregnant. I'm pretty sure it was only thanks to the drugs that I was even allowed in the delivery room and that was only after Alexis was out and being cleaned off by the nurses." He reached down and rubbed Kate's belly before Lanie squeezed a small packet of gel onto it. "This is all just as new to me as it is you." He kissed Kate's palm as she placed it against his cheek.

"Cold"

"Yeah, she was a real winner." Rick shook his head and Kate flinched.

Lanie laughed, "I meant the gel Castle." She pointed to the fluid on Kate's abdomen. "Okay, you ready?

"Yes!" They said it in unison.

For Kate the next few minutes were like a dream. She watched as Lanie rolled the small microphone looking device over her small baby bump. To anyone else but she and Rick, it would have been almost unnoticeable, but they both knew the small pooch below her belly button was not a usual feature of her trim figure. They had both been surprised the day Rick noticed it and they spent ten minutes just looking at it in the mirror. Finally an odd sound filled the room, Lanie was right, it was more of a whoosh than a beat but to Kate it was music to her ears. She laid her head back on the pillow and just listened.

Rick always had trouble keeping his eyes off his wife's perfect body, but never more so than this moment. He listened to the purr of their child's heartbeat as it filled the room. In this room he had shared many intimate moments with the love of his life, but none as intimate as this one. Never had he been more in love with her, but more than that, he was in love with that sound. He never wanted it to stop. He couldn't hold in his joy so he curled up next to her; he whispered in her ear, he kissed her cheek then her lips. He stroked her head then wiped the tears from her face.

Lanie watched as her dearest friends reveled in the moment. To anyone else it would have been an uncomfortable scene, but not to her. Not to someone that spent most of her days knee deep in death. Today she was witnessing the celebration of a life and she couldn't tear her eyes from it. She had watched as these two individuals, so different yet so similar, morphed from strangers, antagonist even, to friends then to partners and finally to lovers. She had witnessed each heal the other of wounds deeply entrenched in their souls. She was present the day they committed their lives to each other. So to her it only seemed fitting that she watch on while they clung to each other and heard the result of their commitment make itself known to the world for the first time. But finally she knew it was time to let them be alone and get some rest. She turned off the machine and wiped Kate's belly. Rick helped her clean up and she removed the empty IV bag. Rick walked her out of the room.

"Thanks Lanie, you have no idea how worried I was."

Lanie placed her hand on his arm, "I know and congratulations Castle."

He showed her to the guest room and once she was settled in he returned to their room and crawled in next to his sleeping wife. He spooned up behind her and pulled her body flush with his. Much needed sleep soon overtook him.

xxxxxxxxxx

Upstairs Lanie pulled out her cell phone. Javier had been with her when Kate and Castle called her. She couldn't not tell him what was going on. He promised to act surprised when the official announcement was made. She read the text he had sent an hour earlier.

**E: So?**

She hoped he could keep a secret.

**L: they're fine, all 4 of them**


	6. Chapter 6

**Let me just say, Nathan fan, that had to be the longest review ever. Thank you all for your lovely comments about Lanie in the last chapter. I agree we need to see more depth from her next season. This chapter isn't so sappy it's just about the cold hard facts of life. There is nothing funnier than a hubby at the gyno, you have to admit. But it is a serious chapter too.**

**Don't own them. Twins would be so expensive….**

**xxxxxxxxxx**

"Castle and I will be there in a couple of hours. Go ahead and start the canvas and tell Lanie to transport the body to the morgue; we'll catch up with her after the autopsy."

Kate disconnected the call and looked up to see a handful of very horrified woman staring at her. Apparently morgue and autopsy weren't words commonly overheard while sitting in a waiting room. She hadn't been paying attention as she and Rick entered the room. They were on their way to Dr. Candace's office for their first OB visit when the call came in. Her team caught a body and Ryan and Esposito were already on scene.

"Sorry," Kate shrugged her shoulders and mouthed the apology to the room as she tucked her cell in her pocket.

"Katherine Beckett," she heard Rick say and quickly joined him at the receptionist desk.

"Castle," Kate interrupted trying to get the attention of the young woman behind the desk.

"What?"

Kate placed her hand on his shoulder and leaned over the desk. "It's Katherine Castle, not Beckett, Castle." Having clarified the name she looked at her husband. "This isn't work related. Technically my name is Katherine Castle."

Before he could respond the receptionist was back with a clipboard full of paperwork instructing them to have a seat, fill out the forms and return them to her once completed. Kate wasn't expecting this. She had been coming to here since she was eighteen when her mom brought her for her first visit. She only ever had to fill out paperwork if there was a change of insurance which there had been when she married Rick, but she had already given them that info on her last visit a few weeks before the wedding.

Before taking their seats Rick helped her with her coat. Kate quickly took note of all the other women in the room. A few of them were in various stages of pregnancy. They all seemed to be watching her, and as Rick slipped her coat from her shoulders, she was pretty sure a few, if not all, of them snuck a peak at her belly. Of course, hadn't she done the same thing to them? Still, she was suddenly self-conscious. She had hidden the baby bump pretty well so far. Alexis hadn't even noticed, but the teenager had been in Paris for over a week and was now preparing to leave for college, so she was a little pre-occupied.

Kate glanced down and remembered the frustration of the morning. A pair of jeans she had just worn two days prior were now too tight to button. In fact, the gray trousers she currently wore were the only pair of pants she could squeeze into. She had already decided that the next day would be spent shopping for maternity clothes. She and Alexis had a girl's day planned; they didn't have a whole lot of time left to spend together before Alexis left for school. Of course Alexis had no idea but her parents planned on giving her the big news tomorrow, as well.

Rick saw the nerves and placed his hand on her hip and gave a gentle squeeze. He then steered her to a set of chairs against the wall. One of them had a handy little tray that would allow for the clipboard to rest on while he filled out the paperwork. He knew she was anxious, so was he, but Kate had been completely flustered all morning. It took him ten minutes to convince her that her pants weren't too tight and that as long as she didn't place her hand over her midsection repeatedly, something she had started doing recently, then no one would be the wiser until they were ready to tell everyone.

"I'll fill these out, you just relax."

Kate sat very close to Rick and clung to his left arm for dear life. She found herself wishing she were in the interrogation room at the Twelfth. Staring into the eyes of a hardened criminal seemed pleasant compared to facing the glances of the women in this room. She knew it was just her imagination, but she felt as though she was being sized up. She suddenly realized what every pregnant woman must feel like as strangers smiled and nodded at their distended bellies, or asked if they could rub it for luck. _Oh god, if anyone does that… _Kate shook the terrifying thought from her head and laid it on Rick's shoulder.

She watched as Rick filled out form after form. If there was something he didn't know the answer to he would point and she would provide the info required. She could see the slight smirk on his face; he was loving this. He had to look like the big manly hero as he rubbed her thigh with his left hand and wrote with his right, but she didn't care. She had already promised herself that she would let him be her strength in this. Of course she hadn't exactly planned to freak out over a few stares and some tight pants. Having finally finished the seemingly unending mountain of forms Rick returned the clipboard as instructed and returned to the seat next to Kate.

"You okay?"

"Katherine Castle?" A voice called from across the room.

xxxxxxxxxx

Once in the exam room undressed from the waist down and sporting a pair of stirrups the tables seemed to turn. Kate's nerves had morphed into excitement and Rick's cockiness melted into terror.

"Nice to meet you Mr. Castle" Dr. Candace shook Rick's hand. "I guess congratulations are in order. So Kate, how's the nausea been since last week?"

"Better, I was constantly sucking one of those lozenges Lanie gave me until about two days ago; since then a few crackers have done the trick."

The doctor made a note in Kate's chart and continued. "I'll go ahead and do a pelvic exam and then the ultrasound. Then you can go to the bathroom; I know having to hold it for all morning is tough. After that I can answer any questions you both might have." She proceeded with the exam and Kate saw Rick's face scrunch up as he cringed in horror.

Rick felt like he was witnessing a train wreck. He didn't want to watch but then again he couldn't look away. _How could Kate not feel violated? Hell, he felt violated! _Of course he wasn't an idiot he had an idea about these kinds of appointments but he wasn't prepared. _Why hadn't Kate warned him? _He was suddenly reminded of the nickname a frat brother used once in reference to _girl doctors _as they called them. Dr. Jellyfingers now seemed so appropriate yet so wrong.

"Rick, what did you think a pelvic exam was?" Kate tried not to laugh at him but the look on his face was priceless. He didn't really respond; just swallowed hard and opened and closed his mouth a few times. He reminded her of a fish.

The Doctor could tell the pair in her exam room each had a unique sense of humor and cut in, "Just be glad I'm not using a speculum. I've seen many a grown man crumble at the mere sight of one of those."

Rick just looked at Kate. She had never really seen him this stumped. "Trust me Castle; you would never be able to use your shiny metal shoe horn again." She patted his hand and chuckled. He seemed to relax slightly at her touch and she held the eye contact letting him know that it really wasn't all that bad.

"Okay, things look pretty good down here." Dr. Candace removed her hand, slid the glove off and into the nearby trashcan before lowering Kate's legs.

"Don't even," Kate instantly slapped her hand over Rick's mouth. He had quickly recovered from his discomfort. He was never one to pass up on a chance at some innuendo. Hand or not, he managed to cast exaggerated eyebrow lift her direction.

"Is he always that easy?" The doctor joked.

Kate refused to lift her hand. She knew all too well he was ready with a reply to that one as well. "Are you going to be good?" He nodded and she removed her hand wiping his spit on the front of his shirt.

Switching gears Dr. Candace pulled up the ultrasound machine and similar to what Lanie had done just a week prior, squeezed some gel on Kate's stomach. She made sure to keep the screen facing away from the expectant parents at first.

"Let's see what we have here."

She swirled the flashlight-looking thing, Kate had recently learned was called a transducer, around in the gel, pausing from time to time to press a few buttons on the keyboard. Kate could feel Rick move in closer and he began to stroke with her hair. She squeezed his free hand to help expel some of her excess nervous energy. They both watched the doctor's face for any signs of concern but thankfully found none. Finally after what seemed like an eternity she smiled and spoke.

"Your Dr. Parish will be glad to know her theory was correct."

"What?" "Theory?" The Castles spoke simultaneously.

Dr. Candace pressed another button and the familiar whooshing sound filled the small room. Kate thought it sounded a little different than what they heard last time, but knew the equipment here was much more powerful. Her heart fluttered and her body developed goose bumps from head to toe. She was sure that as soon as she saw the screen she would be a blubbering mess.

"See here?" The doctor turned the screen and pointed to a black circle on the otherwise fuzzy gray screen. "There's your baby and that right there," she pointed to a little butterfly-like movement, "is the heartbeat."

Tears streamed down Kate's cheeks and she was practically breaking Rick's hand. She couldn't take her eyes off the screen. It was the most beautiful thing she had ever seen and/or heard. She was seeing her child for the first time. '_I'm so in love' _was all she could think. She was sure she had never been so elated in her life. Then she felt a slight movement against her bladder as the doctor ever so slightly shifted the transducer.

"And that right there," she pointed to another similar black circle. "That is another one with just as strong a heartbeat as the first." She glanced at her patient and waited for the information to sink in.

Suddenly all sound seemed to cease. Rick was pretty sure he had just gone deaf. He almost felt intoxicated but knew better considering he hadn't had a drink in weeks. His legs began to wobble and he sank onto the stool a nurse had provided him earlier. He would have to thank her for that later. When sound began to penetrate his ears again; he noticed his breathing was ragged. He could tell he was sporting the stupidest grin ever, but was powerless to stop it. He and Kate were having twins.

For Kate on the other hand everything seemed painfully loud. She listened carefully having been hit with the sudden need to differentiate between the heartbeats. She was their mother after all; she should be able to tell her children apart. '_Children? Oh my god, I am having a litter!' _Her breathing suddenly matched that of her husband's.

Wanting to give them a few minutes to absorb the news Dr. Candace printed out a few pictures of the babies handing them to the flabbergasted father. She instructed Kate to provide a urine sample then to go ahead and get dressed. She would meet them in her office whenever they were ready. She figured they would have about a million questions.

"Kate," of course it was Rick that spoke first.

"Yeah?" Her voice was barely a whisper; the memory of the two hearts still playing in her dream-filled head.

"I'll do the wet work if you'll help me hide the body."

"Yeah, she is so dead."

xxxxxxxxxx

A few minutes later they sat in Dr. Candace's office. Kate clung to the pictures of their children. Neither of them could take their eyes off the small pieces of thermal paper. Kate had already wrinkled two of the three images while bawling like a baby in the exam room. Rick took the only undamaged one from her and slipped it into his breast pocket.

"I assume you both have a few questions, so let me go over some things first."

The doctor told them that despite Kate's exceptional health and physical condition any multiple pregnancy is automatically considered high-risk. She would have to be examined more frequently than she would have with a singleton. She should also expect to deliver a few weeks earlier than the forty week mark. Of course that was in addition to having to ingest quite a few more calories than she normally did and having to adjust to an extremely large belly. Once the doctor finished she looked to them for questions.

"What about work?" Kate knew it would be Rick's first concern.

"Well that's a tough one." Dr. Candace chewed on the end of her pen and squinted at Kate. She had been his wife's doctor for years and Rick could tell she already had an idea of how Kate pushed herself. "Ideally I would say you should be taken out of the field now."

Kate stiffened in her seat, "Now? I'm barely even showing."

"Kate," Rick placed his hand on her arm. "Let's hear her out."

The doctor continued, "You have to concede that what you do is dangerous and any fall or hit you might sustain in the line of duty could be detrimental to your babies. I don't even have to mention what a bullet would do."

Kate and Rick looked at each other. They both knew very well the damage a bullet could cause and almost had done. She could see the pleading in his eyes. She wasn't ready to sit behind a desk, but she knew she couldn't do all the things she normally did; she had to give him something.

"How about I only go into the field once a scene has been cleared? I don't do any arrests; I'll let the boys take care of those." She wasn't asking the doctor.

Rick nodded, it wasn't ideal but it was more than he had expected her to give this soon. True to himself he wanted more and wasn't afraid to ask; these were his children too. "And no interrogations by yourself, either me or one of the boys must be in there with you at all times." She nodded and they looked at the woman watching intently.

"I can go with that but only until about twenty-two weeks or so. At that point I will insist you be put on desk duty."

"What about food? We've read so many different opinions."

The doctor handed Kate a list of do's and don'ts. "This is just a guideline of some beneficial foods. Stay away from the don'ts. I've also included medications to avoid and which ones are safe".

Kate interjected, "What about cravings?"

"_By far the most common craving of pregnant women is not to be pregnant." _The doctor smiled at her own joke.

Kate laughed and Rick couldn't resist, "Please tell me our children are not going to be delivered by Phyllis Diller."

The older woman looked at them both with amazement, but got down to business, "I would say listen to your cravings. Your body knows what it is lacking and will act accordingly."

Kate had one more question, "Will I have to have a C-Section?"

The doctor shook her head, "Not necessarily. Yes the chances of ultimately having a C-section are higher with twins, but it's not a given. There are a lot of factors, so we will just move forward planning on a vaginal birth and play it by ear."

Rick noticed Kate's relief; he didn't want her to have surgery either. She looked to him letting him know it was his turn to ask any questions he might have. She had no doubt he had at least one and he didn't disappoint.

"What about sex?" Even expecting it, Kate's head dropped as soon as he asked it.

"That's actually a very good question. It's fine to continue your normal _habits_. The same can be said for exercise except for the running and sparing." She had apparently glanced thru the paperwork Rick completed earlier. "Anyway, intercourse is fine as long as _you're_ comfortable," she nodded towards Kate. "There may be a point where you'll have to get creative based on your size, but I have a feeling you both can handle that. I would assume sex has been the last thing on your mind recently?" Kate nodded. "Lucky for you Mr. Castle, that actually changes at about week twelve which is where you are now. In fact I have had a few patients wear their partners out between now and about week twenty-four." She winked at Rick who then waggled his eyebrows in Kate's direction. "That being said, if at any time there are issues with pre-term labor we may have to re-assess things." She glanced between them both. "One more thing; you're going to need to lose those heels pretty soon."

xxxxxxxxxx

They stood in the parking lot each leaning against the hood of Kate's car. So much information had been thrown at them in the last hour. Rick finally turned to face her. He placed his hands on her hips and kissed her forehead.

"Are you okay?"

Kate nodded, "Better than okay. If I weren't in shock I would be jumping out of my skin right now."

She wrapped her arms around his neck and he eased her onto the hood of the car standing between her knees. She didn't care that the metal was cold beneath her rear-end. His lips trailed up and down her neck instantly warming her entire body. She snuggled her face into his neck and held him as close as she could. She was being truthful about her excitement, but she was also terrified once again. She had just gotten used to the idea of one baby and now there were two. Well, there had been two all along, but now she knew there were two.

"I guess we won't ever fight over who gets to hold the baby?" He nudged her side.

Kate chuckled. "I was a little concerned about your tendency to hog things."

Rick made his way to her lips and she willing allowed him entrance. She knew they needed to get to work, but right now they needed this more. Kate reveled in the feel and taste of him. She now felt more connected to him than ever. She had an empirical mind and even though she knew she was carrying his child before today, for her, seeing was believing. Today made it real.

Breathless Rick pulled back and moved his hands to her abdomen. "You are going to be so beautiful."

His smile was radiant and warmed her even more but it was time to get to work. She slid off the hood.

"When did beautiful become a synonym for enormous?"


	7. Chapter 7

**I worked myself into a pickle. So many people commented on how much trouble Lanie was in for keeping a secret. I hope I made her suffer sufficiently. **

**xxxxxxxxxx**

"Here try this," Rick handed Kate a bottle of eye drops before reaching up and tousling her hair a bit.

"Are you sure this is a good idea? It seems kind of morbid." Kate quickly shook off the question. "She's well acquainted with morbid."

She ran her fingers thru her husband's hair a few times. He looked too put together for the little ruse they had planned for their favorite ME. She gave him a sideways glance and a fake pout. He mirrored her expression and watched her drizzle some of the liquid on her cheeks. Kate took a deep breath and they entered the morgue with somber expressions.

"Hey," Kate couldn't manage much more of a greeting having caught a glimpse of Rick out of the corner of her eye.

He followed about a foot behind her with his hands shoved into his pockets. She could tell they were balled into fists. His eyes were focused on the ground and they almost looked glazed over. '_Man he's good.' _Kate bit her top lip and concentrated on her own performance. She breathed in a little sniffle and ran a fisted tissue under her nose. The timing was perfect because Lanie had just turned to greet them.

"Hey Kate hey Cas…." Lanie's excited expression quickly turned to fear and concern.

Kate felt instantly guilty. Lanie had known this morning was their first OB visit. They had promised her the details, but she also felt the need to torture her best friend a bit so she sniffled again and wiped her wet eyes. She could hear Rick shuffling his feet behind her.

"The body, Lanie." Kate used her stern Detective Beckett voice and nodded to the victim on the table between them.

Lanie watched her friends in horror. She had expected them to float thru the door with news and pictures of two perfect little babies. She expected hugs and smiles not tears. Well maybe some tears but not these kinds of tears. And Castle hadn't even looked up; he was practically drilling a hole in the floor with his eyes.

"What's wrong?" Lanie's voice cracked.

"What's wrong is that we have a dead body here and the Medical Examiner has yet to clue me in to the cause of dea…"

Kate was really laying it on thick now. Her voice faltered at the last word, she crossed her arms and again wiped her eyes. She felt her co-conspirator's hand squeeze her shoulder. She turned her head slightly as if finding his gaze was the only lifeline to keeping her composure. She even managed a little hitch in her breath as she sniffled for a third time.

Lanie could tell Kate was not going to give her an answer so she addressed the shadow. "Castle?"

He cut her off instantly, "Look Lanie, we got some," he paused for effect, "unexpected news this morning and now we just need to move forward. Please?" Proud of himself for not actually having to lie he nodded to the sheeted corpse.

They both knew Lanie was not going to give up without a fight. She was like a dog with a bone. In fact it was that tenacity that made Kate and Lanie such great friends. Before Castle, Lanie was the only one that stuck with Kate thru all of her crap.

"Hell no we aren't moving anywhere until you two tell me what the hell is going on."

That was about as far as either one of them could take it. "Fine, if you really need to know!" Castle reached into his front jacket pocket and tossed a small piece of paper on the tray in front of Lanie. "That is what's going on!"

Lanie was afraid to look down. She wasn't sure she really wanted to know; she steadied herself for whatever it was. With shaky hands she picked up the square of parchment. For a few seconds she knew nothing but confusion. She was obviously looking at an ultrasound picture. She was a doctor; she had done an OB rotation. She noted the words and letters in digital print and then two tiny arrows; _Baby A, Baby B. _Then she noticed the slight movement from across the room. '_Was her best friend was actually_ '_feeding the birds?''_

Kate watched Lanie's brow furrow as she scanned the picture with recognition but still seemed perplexed. She felt Rick scoot up beside her and felt his hand near her hip. He was practically begging and she couldn't resist. She tapped her fingertips against his and nudged his shoulder with hers. However, the moment was quickly interrupted.

"Are you kidding me? I should smack you both!" Lanie hugged the picture to her chest and breathed out releasing all the tension that had taken up residence in her body over the last few minutes. "That was cruel, even for you." She pointed an accusatory finger at Castle.

Castle feigned innocence, "What? We really did get some _unexpected_ news this morning. Well unexpected to us, but imagine how we felt when we found out it would not be so unexpected to you." He raised his eyebrows and held them in place waiting for a response.

"Oh, she told you that?" Gone was Lanie's bravado and she sounded sheepish.

Kate crossed her arms, tilted her hip and tapped her foot impatiently against the tile floor. Lanie finally got the hint and slipped past the table between them and pulled Kate into a hug. Rick couldn't resist and easily wrapped them both up in his wide embrace. After a long few seconds they all pulled back and each wiped tears from their eyes; real tears not the bottled kind this time.

"So, are you guys okay? Twins, that's _big_."

Kate smiled and tapped Rick on the cheek. "I would have expected nothing less from him."

Lanie moaned and rolled her eyes, "Have you told Alexis?"

"No, we're going to tell her tomorrow. We'll tell Martha and my dad this weekend too. How about the six of us get together Sunday afternoon? I don't really want to tell the guys while at work."

Rick got all excited; he loved playing hostess, "How about our place at three? We can play some poker and maybe some video games. I'll cook."

Lanie nodded and then Kate got back to business. "Okay now can you please tell us about our murder victim?"

Lanie smiled, "Oh yeah, actually it was a suicide."

"What?"

"Yeah, seemed suspicious at first but it was definitely a suicide so I guess you don't have a case after all."

Frustrated, Kate and Castle turned to go, "By the way, just for that I may not ask you to be their Godmother." She winked.

"Well just for that I may not say yes."

It was settled then…

xxxxxxxxxx

Kate sat in the corner of the bedroom. The sun was just cresting over the New York skyline. She had been awake for hours. The news from the previous day was ever present on her mind. She had asked Rick if she could tell Alexis about the babies herself and he had willingly conceded. She couldn't explain the reason just that it felt right somehow.

She listened to the steady breathing coming from the bed a few feet away and let the sound soothe her. Alexis looked so peaceful with her flaming hair pulled back in a tight braid. Her porcelain skin almost matching the cream colored sheets she rested on. To Kate she was perfection and her heart broke knowing that Alexis would soon be so far from them.

Kate closed her eyes and thought back to her own teenaged years. She would often wake up and find her mother sitting in her room. Sometimes the elder Beckett woman would say she just wanted to be the first person to say good morning to her favorite daughter. Other times she was there to scold a young rebellious Kate for missing curfew or getting a less than desirable grade on her report card. But mostly Johanna confessed to just savoring what little time she had left with the burgeoning woman she and her husband had somehow created. Looking back, those were some of Kate's favorite moments with her mother. Without thought she stroked her stomach and made a silent promise.

"Kate?" Alexis squinted and stretched as she sat up in the bed.

"Good morning Sweetie." Kate moved from the desk chair to the side of the bed. "Hope I didn't scare you."

"No," she yawned, "Just a little surprised."

"I couldn't sleep and I thought maybe you could help." Kate ran her fingers thru a few loose strands of red that had escaped while Alexis slept. "I was right, you did."

Alexis patted the bed motioning for Kate to sit beside her. Once shoulder-to-shoulder the teenager leaned over and rested her head on Kate's. "Are you okay? You haven't really been yourself lately. I know things were hard for you right after…" The words trailed off. Neither of them needed her to finish the thought.

Kate wrapped her arm around her daughter's shoulders. "I wasn't for a long time and I'm sorry if I ever let you down, but I am now." Kate smiled, "Actually I'm better than fine. That's kind of why I need to talk to you." She shifted to face Alexis. "I wanted to be the one to tell you and to let you know that I promise not to check out on you and your father like that ever again."

Alexis shook her head, "You had every reason and you could never let me down. I love you Kate."

"I love you too Sweetie and I'm pregnant." Kate just blurted it out and hoped for the best.

Alexis seemed to freeze momentarily while the news sunk in. Her eyes went wide and she naturally looked to Kate's midsection. Finally as she processed it her eyes sparkled and her smile lit up the whole room, as well as her flawless face. She grabbed Kate by the elbows and pulled her into an embrace. Kate felt like the air was being squeezed from her lungs, but it was okay. Alexis was happy, that was all that mattered. Suddenly she was free and the bed began to shake as the excited youngster began to jump up and down and scream in delight at the same time.

Kate quickly grabbed her stomach and stood up, "Apparently I need to explain the concept of morning sickness to you." She leaned against the dresser to stop the spinning.

Before Alexis could respond the bedroom door flew open and a panicked husband and father stumbled into the room. "Wha?-Kate-Alexis-Are you..?" He was wearing nothing but his boxers and panting from his run up the stairs.

Both women laughed and Alexis jumped from the bed; landing in Rick's arms. He caught her but the impact left him momentarily breathless. She hugged his neck continuing with the same volume as the earlier scream, "A baby! Dad, I'm so excited, we're having a baby!"

Rick caught Kate's eye. "Actually Pumpkin, he put his daughter down and made sure she was steady on her feet before continuing. "We're having two babies."

Kate covered her ears. The squeal Alexis emitted could have shattered glass. Always the protective father, Rick placed both hands on Kate's belly. Seeing this, Alexis stopped her celebration and fell back to the bed in fits of laughter.

"It's not funny, the Internet says that the amniotic fluid magnifies sound and I don't think I saw American Sign Language 101 on your class schedule" Rick was serious.

Kate patted his chest and gave him a sympathetic look, "You're a good daddy."

He pulled his wife to his chest and playfully growled into her neck before placing a gentle kiss to her lips. He whispered in her ear, "I love you too Mommy."

Alexis's laughter turned to a groan. She grabbed the nearest pillow she could reach and tossed it in their direction. It was a direct hit. "Get a room."

"You heard the girl," Rick slapped Kate's rear-end and nudged her out the door pulling it closed behind them.

xxxxxxxxxx

"Come on in Dad." Kate kissed Jim on the cheek and stepped aside to let him enter the loft.

"Hey Katie."

"Hey Jim, let me take your coat."

"Thanks Rick"

They made their way to the small pub style table at the back of the living room. With just the three of them the dining room seemed too big. Alexis was out with Ashley; winter break was almost over and they were trying to visit all their friends before heading off to college. It was a little before noon on Sunday and the Castle's had invited Kate's dad for brunch. Rick was so nervous. He wasn't sure why. Well he knew why but it seemed so irrational when he thought about it. Still he couldn't convince himself to snap out of his funk. He knew his father-in-law would be thrilled about the babies; he wasn't worried about that. Kate had commented on his quiet demeanor earlier but then laughed until she cried when he tried to explain.

"_He knows we have sex."_

_Rick stomped and shook his head in frustration. "I know that, but this confirms it."_

_Kate just laughed harder. She wiped her eyes and had to speak between snorts, "because the wedding didn't?"_

"_Kate!"_

"_Rick" She faked annoyance and propped her fists on her hips but the tight line of her lips told him more laughter was coming._

"_It's just… us fathers, we have trouble picturing our little girls like that." His face contorted in pain at the mere thought of Alexis having sex._

_Kate placed her hands on his broad shoulders and led him to their bed encouraging him to sit. She then sat on his lap. "We're all somebody's daughter; sex doesn't change that."_

"But w_hen we tell him he'll know and I'll know that he knows and he'll know that I know that he knows and it will be all... weird." Rick visibly cringed._

_With that all her will power failed. Rick just scooted her off his lap and left her sprawled out on the bed writhing in a fit of laughter. _

Jim's voice pulled him back to the present, "This is delicious Rick."

"Thank you; it's one of Kate's favorites so I figured you would like it too." Rick played with the quiche on his plate. His stomach was in knots. He was glad to see his wife halfway thru her second slice.

"So Katie I think I know why you guys invited me here and I have a little gift for you."

Jim pulled a box from the bag he brought with him. He had already pulled a binder from it earlier. Jim, as well as Rick and Kate were on the committee responsible for granting the Johanna Beckett scholarship money to worthy law students and they had all received binders from the charity manager. The binders were full of student applications. Having made his selections, Jim returned his for submittal to the charity. At the time Kate assumed that was the entirety of the bag's content but now she held a box wrapped in teddy bear paper. She opened the box and removed a baby book. It was very similar to the one her mother had kept that was now on Kate's nightstand. She began to cry even before her dad explained.

"I went back to the same little boutique where Johanna bought yours over thirty years ago. I was kind of surprised it was still there." Jim stood and wrapped his daughter in a hug as he continued. "I got a neutral color since I assume you don't know what you're having yet."

Kate pulled back and flipped thru a few pages. It had a page for each month of pregnancy thru the first year of a child's life. There was also a page for the newborn picture and all the birth measurements. It was almost exactly the same as the familiar book she and Rick had read many times in the last few weeks. She fingered a few pages more before her eyes fell on her father's familiar handwriting. It was in one of her favorite sections. The one that in, her mom's book, had been filled out by many friends and family during a baby shower. The heading read, '_Words of wisdom for the parents to be.' _It seemed only appropriate that her dad be the first to write in this one. Next to his name it read;

"_A __baby is born with a need to be loved - and never outgrows it"_

Kate handed the book to Rick who was chomping at the bit to get ahold of it, he loved presents. Then she again hugged her dad. "Thank you Daddy."

Jim held his daughter but was soon distracted by his son-in-law. "Katie, what is he doing?"

Kate didn't need to look. She could hear Rick riffling through the bag.

"Um Jim, you didn't happen to pick up an extra one of these did you?"

**xxxxxxxxxx**

**On a separate note did everyone see Jon Huertas's **_**sex tape**_**? Hilarious! He retweeted my response…. **


	8. Chapter 8

**I have no idea where this chapter came from. For some reason I felt like maybe Castle needed reassurances from Kate. Maybe because she had been reckless with her life or maybe because deep down he doesn't feel he deserves her. Anyway this just kind of happened.**

**And for StrawberryMush, I would have loved nothing more than to give you a chapter on your birthday but I was stuck in Wisconsin for my sister's 20th wedding anniversary and couldn't seem to get motivated to write. A seven hour drive thru Chicago rush hour traffic will do that to you. So if you are okay with a belated birthday gift here it is, but only if the birthday you just celebrated was as least your 18****th**** because I decided this story needed to earn the M rating I gave it.**

**I don't own them but I do own the movie I reference in this chapter. Can anyone guess it?**

**xxxxxxxxxx**

Castle finished loading the dishwasher and turned to make sure the rest of the kitchen was clean. He sent Kate to bed an hour earlier. She had been entertaining guests since early this morning when her dad arrived for brunch. Jim stayed well into the afternoon at the insistence of Alexis and Martha. Then the population in the loft swelled even more as the rest of their friends arrived for dinner and poker. It had been a wonderful day of fun and laughter; two things Castle had thought were long gone just a few months back.

The boys seemed exited to hear about Kate's pregnancy but their poker faces left something to be desired and Kate quickly scolded Lanie for spilling the beans. Funny enough his mother's response to the news was the least dramatic of them all. She just patted her son on the cheek and said flatly, "it's about time." Then she hugged her daughter-in-law and wished her luck on birthing one Rodger's baby much less two. Apparently Rick was an abnormally large newborn, but Martha had kept that tidbit to herself until there was no going back.

Before leaving the kitchen Castle grabbed the clipping Kate cut from this morning's paper. It had become a game they played. Every time they were mentioned in the news, the article would be clipped and hung on the bulletin board in their study. It would unceremoniously replace the previous article which they immediately trashed. They would take turns commenting on the accuracies and inaccuracies of the printed item and make appropriate or inappropriate remarks about the moral capacity of the article's writer. Occasionally they would draw pictures or throw a couple of sharpened pencils to complete the insult.

However Castle kind of liked today's feature. As he walked into the study he removed the last article which contained a few facts about the attempted murder of his wife, but was mostly a character assassination of the police commissioner and his inability to protect one of New York's finest. He gladly ripped it from the board and replaced it. He read the new headline again; _'Richard Castle to add new character to the Heat series.' _It was a picture of him and Kate leaving the OB's office with the ultrasound picture in hand. The article had some of the facts correct. Of course there was no mention of twins, so it was clear the writer did not have an inside informant of any kind. Kate had been a little perturbed at the invasion of privacy but Castle quickly reminded her of their little make-out session on the hood of her car only minutes after said picture was taken. At that they were both impressed that the photog had not stooped so low as to sell that one, if he had even taken it.

Castle had to laugh as he skimmed the article again. The writer had launched into an editorial about the life of celebrity babies with silver spoons, nannies, and trust funds. He ranted about how a baby like theirs would be cared for by hired help while its parents traveled, partied, and hob-knobbed with the rich and famous. He speculated about boarding schools and summers abroad. Nowhere was it suggested that Castle would be a stay-at-home dad and would love every minute of it, just like he had with Alexis.

"If they only knew," Castle said with a chuckle as he hung the newsprint and made his way to their bedroom.

Upon entering the room Castle wasn't surprised to see his wife asleep, but was surprised that their daughter was wrapped in her arms sleeping just as soundly. He vaguely remembered seeing Alexis streak thru the living room not long after sending Kate to bed, but he thought it was for a good night hug and kiss. He looked to the TV to see that they were more than halfway thru Kate's favorite movie and couldn't imagine how they were sleeping thru the raucous. He grabbed the remote and clicked it off just seconds before Nathanial saved Cora from being scalped by some crazed Huron Indian. He physically cringed, he had no idea how Kate could watch that over and over.

He then changed into a pair of pajama pants and stood over the two loves of his life, actually four now. He would feel odd crawling in bed with his daughter; she hadn't slept with him since she was ten and had watched a horror movie for the first time. He thought about carrying her up to her room, but didn't really want to disturb her. He decided he would sleep on the couch in the study, but first had to remove Kate's shoes and socks before covering them with a blanket from the closet. He kissed them both gently on the forehead and padded out of the room.

He decided to do a little writing, not on the Nikki Heat series but a press release. He would run it by Kate before submitting it to Paula for release. He knew she would prefer to keep the babies a secret a while longer, but it was unavoidable at this point. Of course they would have to tell the new captain tomorrow first thing. Once complete he saved the document and moved to his journal.

As he finished his most recent entry the door to the study clicked shut and he looked up just as Kate was twisting the lock on the knob. She was eyeing him from across the room. She had changed into a red nightgown. He had never seen it before and it wasn't her normal style. It hung below her knees and was fuller than anything he had ever seen her wear. It had a broad band just below her breasts which were only half filling the material covering them. But even though it hid her curves she was the sexiest creature he had ever seen.

He swallowed hard, "Hey."

"Hey yourself," she sauntered across the room never breaking eye contact with her husband.

"Are you felling okay?"

Kate smiled and nodded as she arrived at his desk. He watched her lean against the sturdy piece of furniture. "Just a little wound up." Rick didn't catch her meaning at first but the look in her eye had him on the same page pretty quickly. "I thought a steaming hot bath would help, but then I remembered I'm not allowed." She scooted herself up on the desk and placed her bare feet on the chair resting them on each side of his thighs. "I considered taking care of it myself but there was a certain impressionable young redhead in our bed." She pushed the chair slightly and it rolled out from under the desk.

Rick was surprised at her admission, "I've never known you to _take care of it_ yourself." He felt his pajamas tightening at the thought of his wife touching herself.

Kate slid her feet up and down his thighs. "I haven't had to in a while, but sometimes the need is just there, you know?"

"Uh-huh?"

Kate slid off the desk letting her long legs straddle each side of his hips. She reached down and hit the hydraulic button and the back of the chair tilted back slightly. She softly but purposefully pressed down on him. Rick could see the lust in her eyes. He slid his hands up her smooth muscular thighs resting them on her bare hips.

"Have I ever mentioned how much I appreciate that your chair has no arms on it?" She leaned forward forcing the chair to recline a few more inches. She placed her palms flat against the leather on each side of his head.

Rick remembered their various sexual encounters in this very spot. "You have never actually mentioned it, but I can attest to your appreciation." He tugged on the hem of her gown. "Speaking of appreciation, is this new?"

"You like?" She waited for his nod, "Good because I bought one in every color of the rainbow."

"Why?"

She wiggled over his thickening lap, "They allow for any _growth_ I might experience over the next few months." She stressed the operative word and he understood the double entendre. "And they allow for easy access." She began to rock in his lap.

Rick watched with amazement. He wasn't sure he had ever been humped before, but that was exactly what she was doing and it was turning him on like he had never been turned on in his life. "Easy access?"

Kate was biting back the moans that fought for freedom from her throat. The tension was wound so tight and she just needed it released. She grabbed Rick's hand from her left hip and laced her fingers with his. She shrugged her shoulder enough to allow the strap to fall freeing her breast. She then placed their woven hands over the mound and helped him tease the erect flesh.

"Yeah, for breastfeeding."

She rocked harder. She was sure she had completely soaked thru the front of his pants. She could feel his stiffness against her and took advantage of the friction it supplied. She watched his face and was glad to see he seemed to be enjoying it, but right now she was not really concerned about his needs. She just needed to come. She continued to rock against him. Her breathing was becoming ragged and a thin layer of sweat formed on her upper lip.

He was watching her intently as she watched him. The smirk on his face forced the same from hers. She felt the hand on her right hip slide closer to the junction between her legs, but she stopped him. She had other ideas for that thumb and pulled it to her mouth to suck on the plump flesh. She could hear the repeated grunt she emitted with every grind of her hips. She wondered if it sounded as nasally to him as it did to her. He winced and pulled his thumb from her teeth, she must have bitten him to hard. She held his hand to her cheek and skimmed her teeth across his palm. She was rocking faster, but not furiously. She was so close. She alternated their touches on her breast; they squeezed then brushed then squeezed again.

All the time he watched and never left the connection of their eyes. He brushed the hair from her face and wiped the sweat from her lip. Seconds before she climaxed he puckered his lips and blew gently on her neck. Her whole body developed goose bumps and the shiver that over took her was just the first wave. The orgasm slammed into her like nothing she had ever experienced. She could feel every nerve ending on her body. The waves radiated from her core and traveled down each limb exiting out her curling hands and feet. Rick moved his hands to her hips holding her in place on his lap. She could feel him pulsing beneath her and he closed his eyes to help tamp down his own release. As the waves began to ease she slowed the rocking and he was finally able to open his eyes again. She was surprised at how raw her throat felt and wasn't sure if it was from the grunting or the effort to catch her breath.

"Shit, there's something to say for these hormones huh?" She whispered once she was calm enough to speak. Then she dipped her head, "Sorry babies, Mommy has a potty mouth."

Rick laughed and pointed to the clay jar on his desk, "You owe them a dollar."

She was still breathing hard, "Clearly I don't have any money on me." She was now nibbling on his ear.

"I'll put in a UOU."

She pulled back, "What?"

"Hey, I didn't say it so I'm not putting in an IOU." Rick kissed the cross look from her lips.

Kate spoke against his mouth, "Thank you."

"Don't thank me. As _stimulating_ as that was to witness, I think you actually did take care of it yourself." He trailed kisses down her neck.

"No, you were my muse." She giggled and ground down on his erection again. "Now look who's wound up."

"Do you think you can walk after that or does your muse need to carry you?"

Kate shifted slightly and slid back onto the desk. "What do you have in mind?"

Rick stood and pulled the gown over her head before taking the neglected breast into his mouth. She held his head against her flesh and wrapped her legs around his midsection. He slipped his hands under her thighs and carried her to the couch setting her down gently. She reached between them and slid his pants down and watched as he stepped out of them. At the sight of his naked body she was once again ready and she leaned back against the cushions and spread her legs for him. Rick wasn't going to give her a chance to take matters into her own hands again. He was on his knees in a second and slid into her with one quick motion.

Rick was still a little surprised at her boldness. By no means was she timid in the bedroom, but tonight her need seemed so primal. He slid into her and the wet heat enveloped him perfectly. He held her body against his and moved slowly in and out. She didn't wrap her legs around him, just held them wide open for him to dictate the speed and depth. Her breasts rubbed against his chest and the contact was intoxicating. She played with his hair with one hand and dug the other into the bare flesh of his rear end with the other. Her lips devoured his and sucked his tongue into her mouth. He pulled her tighter and could feel the evidence of their connection as the baby bump grazed against his abdomen. He buried his face in her hair and continued to move gently in rhythm with her. Finally the pleasure was too much and he buried himself so deep that her legs began to tremble signaling her impending climax. She clamped down around him with such force that he instantly released into her.

"Rick, you know how much I love you, don't you?" She finally spoke against his neck.

"If it's a fraction of how much I love you then I can die a happy man."

Kate lifted her head from his shoulder. She cradled his head in her hands with one holding the back and one on his cheek. She searched his eyes and saw that he meant what he said. "Hey, don't do that."

"What?"

They both knew what he was doing. His self-deprecation was okay sometimes but not now. Kate needed him to know how she felt. "Is it that you think I'm not capable of loving you as much as you love me, or is it that you don't think you deserve to be loved that deeply?"

Kate held his head so he couldn't look away when he spoke. "We both know you're more than capable Kate."

Tears formed in her eyes. Sometimes his insecurities surprised her. She didn't know what it was that made him feel unworthy. She had a feeling it was a combination of what Meredith and Gina had done to him. Or maybe she didn't tell him enough; maybe she didn't show him enough.

"Rick, you are my world." She kissed his cheeks, "You are my everything; you and that spitfire in the next room." She kissed his eyelids. "You make my life more than I could have ever dreamed." She brushed her lips across his. "You've given me a gift; make that two extraordinary gifts I can't wait to unwrap and share with you for the rest of my life. You have completely changed me from the grieving daughter with nothing to live for to a soon-to-be mother with everything to live for." Kate slid her hands from his face and pulled his head into the crook of her neck. She ran her fingers thru his hair and kissed his face over and over. "I love you, more than I could ever put into words."

"You know from here I have to agree with something Esposito said today."

Kate had no idea where this was going and was afraid to ask, but knew it was his way of accepting her words as the truth they were. "Do I even dare?"

"He said '_There are three reasons for breast-feeding: the milk is always at the right temperature; it comes in attractive containers; and the cat can't get it.'_

**xxxxxxxxxx**

**Really, I have no idea**


	9. Chapter 9

**Two nights in a row… You lucky little readers... All kidding aside, I am the lucky one, thanks for reading and hopefully enjoying.**

**BTW, I read an interview with Stana Katic and how she hopes the next season will develop. I don't agree with her opinion that Kate will never be a mother figure to Alexis. She said something about Alexis already having amazing parents so Kate will be like a big sister. No way, Alexis has **_**a**_** great parent. I think the Love Story Andrew Marlowe is writing isn't just between Kate and Rick, but will also include Alexis. Any opinions? **

**Just another few more days in the life…**

**xxxxxxxxxx**

Beckett sat across the desk from Captain Gates. She had just informed her boss of the impending additions to their family. She wished her partner were in the room. His presence always seemed to make a difficult situation lighter. Of course a joke would probably fall on deaf ears right now so maybe it was better that he hadn't been permitted in. Even though the new Captain had lost the battle to have Richard Castle completely removed from _her_ precinct, she had, from day one cut him out of any conversations held in the privacy of her office. When Kate asked to speak with the woman this morning he was again forced to stay away.

Beckett just finished explaining the restrictions she and her doctor had decided on, and she watched for any signs of anger but was surprised to see the woman's face soften a bit. She wasn't sure if the change of demeanor was a female camaraderie thing or if her boss was just excited to know that soon Castle would no longer be a thorn in her side.

"I agree with your doctor, but will most likely put you on desk duty earlier than twenty-five weeks." The Captain held up a finger to halt the protests that were sure to come from the lead detective. "I know from personal experience that it quickly becomes a liability." Kate knew what the _it_ referred to. "And I don't want you to have to learn that the hard way, like I did."

Beckett had no idea what Captain Gates meant by that and it dawned on her that she actually knew nothing about her new boss. She quickly scanned the small office for evidence of a husband, a family or even a dog, but there was none. However Beckett didn't have a chance to feel sorry for her because what the woman said next made her blood boil.

"In fact, I think it is about time Esposito got a chance to lead the team. As of today he calls the shots."

"But!" Beckett was out of her seat before Captain Gates had even finished her sentence.

"Dismissed Detective!"

Beckett stormed out of the office. She could feel three sets of eyes as they watched her head to the bathroom. She was furious, she hadn't expected to be demoted. She was pregnant not incompetent.

"Whoa? What was that about?" Esposito watched his boss storm out of the Captain's office. Neither of the men standing with him had a chance to guess before Captain gates summoned he and his partner. "Good luck bro." He gave Castle a friendly tap on the arm before obeying orders.

Castle stood outside the ladies room waiting for his partner to emerge. He knew she wasn't sick; the walls in the old building were thin enough that he would have heard evidence of that. Plus her morning sickness hadn't amounted to more than a little nausea here and there for the last few days, and as far as he could tell she hadn't experienced any this morning. She finally stepped out but didn't meet his gaze. He could tell she had been crying but not the weepy hormone kind of crying he had grown accustomed to. No, she was mad. On second thought, she was pissed. He knew better than to ask her what the Captain had said; she would tell him eventually. It was better to wait her out.

He followed her back to her desk but didn't automatically take a seat. He picked up her empty coffee cup and went to the break room to pour her some tea. He made sure to take his time. If she followed it would mean she was ready to talk. After a few minutes alone he took a deep breath and made his way back to the bullpen. Kate was rifling thru paperwork. He could tell she wasn't really accomplishing anything. He sat the cup on her desk and took a seat in his chair. He watched her for a while. Her expression was stoic; whatever it was, she was working it around in her head. Eventually he turned to his phone. He played some games, checked his calendar and eventually texted Alexis to confirm their lunch plans.

Two hours went by without a word. The boys had been in and out of the Captain's office before Kate had even exited the bathroom, but neither one had attempted an approach. They had obviously been let in on whatever had gone down. Castle wanted to ask them, but Kate would kill him for sure.

Esposito's phone rang and after a brief conversation he and Ryan walked to Kate's desk, jackets in hand. "Hey Boss, we've got a body." Rick saw the glare she gave at his use of the word Boss. "I'll call you guys in as soon as the scene is clear."

Rick watched as the elevator closed and again turned to his wife. "It's only temporary."

"I know," She didn't look up.

Rick placed his hand over hers and she finally looked him in the eye. "They deserve it."

"I know. Sometimes I wonder if working for me has held him back from leading his own team."

Rick smiled and squeezed her hand slightly. He loved that she was so protective of Ryan and Esposito. "I wasn't talking about them."

"I know."

xxxxxxxxxx

Alexis was crying, Kate was crying even Rick was crying. They were a few feet from the airport security checkpoint, the unwelcome divider that would soon come between them and their daughter. Meredith stood beyond the barrier waiting for Alexis to join her. She had insisted on flying out to accompany Alexis to Stanford. Of course she hadn't bothered to mention that she also had an audition in the area until she cancelled dinner with Alexis and Ashley the previous evening. Ashley was headed out on another flight later in the day. Rick wanted to go with his daughter to make sure she got settled in, but he had a business trip to Chicago in a few days and Gina refused to reschedule.

"I'm going to miss you so much." Alexis hung on to Kate while Rick embraced them both.

"I know Pumpkin; we're going to miss you too." Rick tried to be strong, but wasn't convincing anyone.

Kate chimed in giving him a moment to compose himself. "Same rules apply."

Alexis nodded, "I'll call every night."

"And you better respond to my texts within ten minutes or I'm jumping on a plane."

"I promise Dad." She turned to Kate, "I'm going to miss everything."

"No you won't, all you'll miss is watching me get fat and cranky." She saw the look from Rick, "Crankier. Anyway, you'll be home in time for the shower and for their birth. That's what matters."

Alexis leaned down much like her father did on a daily basis and talked to the belly. "I love you guys, or girls, or both. I promise to call you every night. I know Daddy will hog the phone but Mommy will wrestle it away eventually and let me talk to you. Be good."

She kissed her fingers and placed them against Kate's bump, which had actually turned into more of a bulge than a bump over the last week. Kate heard Meredith huff at Alexis's rambling.

Things had not gone well between the two mothers over the last couple of hours. Alexis had spent most of the morning glued to Kate's side and Meredith was not happy about it. She blew up at Rick accusing him of finding a replacement mother for their daughter. To his credit Rick tried to keep things civilized for Alexis's sake, but things got out of hand quickly. It wasn't until the young redhead put her mother in her place that things settled down.

"I can easily fly to Stanford on my own. I didn't ask you to come here. I don't need a chaperone." Kate had never heard Alexis raise her voice. "Kate is not a replacement for you Mother."

The last word had flown from the teen's mouth with a hint of disdain. No one needed her to elaborate. They all knew what Alexis was insinuating and Meredith quickly clammed up. She had been almost silent as they made their way to the airport. However, the looks she registered Kate's direction were almost murderous. Rick noticed them and wanted to call her on it but Kate had insisted that he leave it alone.

"At least she cares enough to be jealous. I know how Alexis feels about me and she knows I love her. We don't need to prove the point."

Kate leaned in and kissed Alexis on the cheek. She held her close for another few seconds. She stroked the silky red hair trying to commit the feeling of it to memory. "Okay, you need a few minutes alone with your dad. I love you, be good, and study hard."

Kate released the girl and briskly walked away. She could barely contain her agony. She needed some space. She knew Rick needed to say goodbye to his first born but would not be able to give her his undivided attention with his wife blubbering all over the place. She found a seat facing away from them. She buried her face in her hands and sobbed. She was suddenly struck with the harsh realization of motherhood. She remembered her own mother's tears as she and her father left their excited daughter's dorm room for the first time. She suddenly knew the physical pain Johanna Beckett must have experienced that day. How had her mother survived it?

Rick hugged his little girl once more. He kissed her head and shed a few more tears. He had never been away from her for more than a month or so at a time and each of those times had been agonizing. How was he expected to go so long without laying eyes on that face? The face he had adored since the second he first saw it all scrunched up and wrinkly. The face that filled every one of his dreams for so many years. His chest actually hurt, and each breath seemed to count down the seconds he had left to hold his baby.

"Dad, I have to go." She kissed his cheek and cupped his face in her hands. "You know you're the best, right?"

Rick remembered Kate's similar question from earlier in the week. "Yes, but only because I had the best to work with."

"I love you Dad. Take care of Kate and our babies."

"I will Pumpkin. I love you too." With one last kiss and hug he watched her walk away.

xxxxxxxxxx

Kate threw the half empty box of tissues on the bed next to Rick before she climbed in. She and the small cardboard box had been inseparable since leaving the airport. Rick wasn't ashamed to admit that he had used a few sheets as well. He closed his journal and pulled Kate to his side.

"Do they have to match?"

"What?" Kate wasn't sure she was in the mood for one of his guessing games.

"Their names; do they have to be all matchy-matchy?" He took her hand and played with her fingers. "Like Marla and Darla or Max and Dax?"

"Oh my god, please tell me you're joking. I wouldn't inflict a dog with those names."

"They were clearly just examples but now that I think of it Darla Castle does sound kind of…"

"Like a stripper name." Kate interjected. "I don't think they have to match, but maybe they could start with the same letter."

"Like Bambi and Bunny?" He nudged her thigh with his knee.

"How 'bout we ask Dr. Candace to insert a tiny stripper pole during our next appointment?" Her raised eyebrows and crossed arms told him enough was enough.

"I'll be serious." He picked up his journal. "Let's start a list."

"But we don't even know what we're having yet." The thought of naming their children overwhelmed Kate. Names were so permanent; what if they got them wrong? She had hoped to avoid this conversation awhile longer.

"So, we'll make three lists; _girls, boys and both._" He turned to a blank page and made three columns inserting the previously suggested headers. "Since you're scared, I'll go first."

"I'm not scared!"

"Right, how about Owen and Olivia?" She shrugged her shoulders; he took that as a maybe and wrote down the names. "You go."

"Logan and Landon."

Rick immediately wrote down her suggestion. "So you think they're both boys huh?"

His question surprised her, "I hadn't actually thought about it."

"I think they're girls." He wrote in the unused column. "Piper and Paige."

Kate actually liked both names but needed to give him grief for writing before asking. "Hey, I didn't agree to those." She hooked her arm in his and leaned against his bicep cuddling closer.

"Yes you did. If you hadn't you would've poked me." Rick put the journal on the nightstand. "We can do some more tomorrow night."

"Maybe Alexis will have some ideas too." At the mention of her name the tears started to flow again. Kate pulled a tissue from the box in her lap and wiped her husband's eyes.

"Okay, let's talk about something else." Rick slid down in the bed and pulled her down with him. He turned onto his stomach laying his head on his wife's chest before unbuttoning the shirt she was wearing. "Hey babies."

"Doesn't anybody want to talk to me anymore?" Kate feigned offence as she stroked the back of his head combing his hair with her fingertips.

"Now you know how I felt when you first moved in." Rick tapped the mound below her belly button. "You two in there, can you hear me?"

Kate twisted his ear, "Pretend you're at the zoo, no poking the cage."

"Aw, Mommy is such a party pooper." She didn't have to see his face to know his bottom lip was hanging out. He began to rub her stomach. "Is petting okay?"

"Not ideal but better."

Rick flipped his head and looked up to Kate. "The zoo? You think they'll like it?" She just smiled and nodded as he flipped back to face her abdomen. "And Central Park, we have to take them on lots of walks."

"Yep, they must love the city as much as we do."

"And the beach."

"They have no other choice; we have a house in the Hamptons." Kate could do this with him all night.

He was thinking of more places. "There's a beautiful Botanic Garden in Chicago. I think it should be their first road trip."

Kate laughed, "I'm too worried about their trip through the birth canal to think about much after that."

Rick whispered, "See a party pooper."

"Hey, quit telling them that. They may start to believe it. I'm already competing with a giant man-child. The cards are stacked against me." Now it was Kate's turn to pout.

Rick slid up the bed and pulled her into his embrace. "If they're anything like their father they will be completely enamored with you. Plus for at least the first six months you'll be their own personal chef."

"It always comes back to the boobs with you doesn't it?"

Rick nuzzled his face between her breasts and gave her a loud raspberry. "I blame my mother; she refused to nurse me. I'm just making up for lost time."

Kate couldn't help but laugh again. The force of the vibration caused her whole body to tingle. "I hope they have your sense of humor, minus the vulgarity."

"And I hope they get everything else from you."

Kate shook her head, "Nope, they will have your eyes, I know it."

Rick cocked his eyebrow, "why mine?"

"Because I can't resist those baby blues and aren't I supposed to be wrapped around their little fingers?"

Rick kissed her lips lightly before shaking his head. "No way, I'm the spoiler you're the disciplinarian."

"That's not fair, why don't I get to do the spoiling?"

"You already do; I'm spoiled for any other woman, muse, partner and lover." He nipped at her collarbone and she curled into his embrace. They tangled their legs together.

"Yep, spoiled rotten," Kate kissed his bare chest before giving into a huge yawn.

"Goodnight my love." Rick placed a kiss in her hair.

"Until tomorrow"

Rick slid his hand down her body and lightly grazed her abdomen. He whipsered as if Kate wasn't supposed to hear him. "Hey babies, a word to the wise; '_A happy marriage is a long conversation which always seems too short'"_

Kate clumsily covered his mouth with her hand. "Sleep now my beautiful man-child."

**xxxxxxxxxx**

**I can so see Castle driving Kate nuts wanting to poke and prod at the bump. I love writing this stuff/fluff…**


	10. Chapter 10

**Not much to say today… **

**Enjoy!**

**xxxxxxxxxx**

"Hey Girl," Lanie slid into the booth. "Who else is coming?" She knew it would only be the two of them, but with the amount a food on the table one could assume a few more people would be joining them.

"Shut up, I'm making up for the last month." Kate shoveled a tortilla chip into her mouth. It was loaded with salsa, queso, sour cream and guacamole. "Apparently these two love Mexican food." This was Kate's third visit to her favorite Mexican dive in the last two days.

Lanie quickly ordered a drink and began to dig in, "It seems like I haven't seen you in forever."

Kate just nodded; her mouth was full. Not being allowed to cross the crime scene tape until hours after a scene was processed meant that she and Lanie hadn't interacted much the last few weeks. They had spoken regularly on the phone, but with Esposito leading their investigations he and Ryan were usually the ones being briefed on any autopsy findings. Normally the women would get together every other the weekend or so, but with Alexis's impending departure most of Kate's free time had been devoted to the teenager.

"I know, what's going on with you?" Kate had finally managed to swallow.

Lanie knew what her friend was implying. She had confided in Kate concerning her relationship with Javier. "Things are good." She couldn't help but smile.

"Just good?"

Lanie wasn't like Kate; it didn't require a cattle prod and threats of painful torture to get her to open up. "Actually things are _really_ good. He and I have had some pretty serious conversations about our future." Kate smiled at her use of the word _our_ instead of _the_. "I blame you for that."

"Me, what did I do?" Kate continued to inhale the food as she listened intently.

"He has really embraced this leadership role and in extension he seems to be figuring out what he wants in life. Plus he sees you and Writer Boy and Ryan and Jenny; I think he's just now realizing he wants that too."

Kate was happy that Esposito was getting his turn to lead and she trusted his ability explicitly, but there was still a small twinge of jealously. She dropped her hand below the table and rubbed her belly a few times. It was her small way of reminding herself that the sacrifice was well worth it. Before she raised it again she grabbed her cell from her pocket and shot of a quick text.

**K: Juan & Jose **

Remembering what Lanie had said when they were in Kate's bedroom a few weeks back Kate wanted to hear about Lanie's feelings, "And you? Are you any closer to knowing what you want?"

Lanie blushed slightly, "Yeah, you were right; you and Castle don't have the monopoly."

Kate's cell vibrated and she couldn't help but giggle at his response.

**C: Qué?**

Lanie watched her friend beam from across the table, "How many more days?" She knew Castle was to be out of town for a while but didn't know the exact dates.

"Six more," Kate whined and put the phone on the table in case her husband texted her again. "He's only been gone for three and I can hardly stand it." She propped her elbows on the table and held her head in her hands. "God, I'm such a girl."

"You're a girl in love. I think it's sweet."

The cell vibrated again.

**C: James and Johanna**

**K: middles not firsts**

"And the Captain won't let me work any OT so I'm home every night by six. Do you know how big that place is without either of them?"

"Do you want to come stay a few nights with me?" Lanie asked

Kate appreciated the offer and it was very tempting but she was a big girl, she could go six more days without her husband. Six more days without feeling his warm embrace, without tasting his lips or… "No, I'll be okay, but thanks."

**C: adam & aaron**

**K: :( ****& :) ****how bout alex?**

Kate looked up from her phone, "Sorry."

Lanie laughed, "For what, missing your husband?"

**C: :( one writer girl remember? **

Kate heard her friend purposefully clear her throat, "One more and I promise I'll stop."

**K: always… except for now, dinner w/ Lanie - ttl**

**C: eat a taco 4 me… luv u – ttl**

Kate slipped the phone into her pocket, "I'm all yours."

Lanie shot her a knowing look and a raised eyebrow, "Somehow I doubt that."

xxxxxxxxxx

"See you tomorrow Mrs. Castle?" The clerk questioned Kate sheepishly and handed her a bag.

Kate nodded and gave the young girl a small smile. It was the fifth day in a row that Kate had stopped into the little bookstore just a few blocks from the loft. She had never noticed it before and wasn't sure if Castle knew about it or not. She would be sure to bring him if he hadn't. On her first visit she bought the newest Patterson book. It only took her a few hours to devour it. So on her way home from work the next night she stopped in again; she didn't have a specific book in mind and found herself in the children's section. She quickly picked up one of her childhood favorites; the first of the Fudge series by Judy Bloom. Each visit since had been to purchase the next book of that series. Tonight she picked up _Double Fudge. _She knew it would be easier to just buy the whole set, but she found it comforting to walk the aisles and look for the title she was seeking. Plus, the hour she spent in the quaint boutique was one less hour she would spend at home alone.

"Thank you, Jill." Kate had learned the names of most of the employees and they in turn had learned hers. She didn't bother to ask how. She was content to believe it was the name on her credit card and not the recent press release on page six confirming her pregnancy that caused them to recognize her. Either way, they were polite and non-intrusive while still being extremely responsive to her requests. "I will be sure to stop in again tomorrow night; one more in the series."

"Have you thought about what you will read them next?"

Kate hadn't told the kind young woman that she was reading the books to the babies, but somehow she still knew. In fact Kate felt so comfortable that it was on her third visit that she confessed to be carrying twins. There had been nothing about that in Rick's press release.

"No, actually I haven't." Kate just figured she would only be reading while Rick was away. "Do you have any suggestions?"

Jill blushed, clearly excited about the prospect of making a book suggestion to a semi-celebrity, "I may have a few ideas. I'll have them ready for you tomorrow."

"Thanks see you then." Kate left the shop with a sense of excitement. She really had no idea what to expect from the timid girl.

Ten minutes later Kate locked the door to the loft and kicked her shoes off. "Three more days babies. I know you miss him, so do I." For more than a week now it had been just the three of them. Martha had dropped by a few times, her dad spent Sunday with her and she had gone out with Lanie twice. But when it was all said and done she spent most of her down time alone in the loft. Alexis called her around nine every night and they would talk for a while but the girl was pretty busy with classes and studying so they had to keep it brief. Castle texted her on and off all day long, but his schedule was so packed that he usually wasn't able to actually call her until after eleven, a few times it had been closer to midnight. Kate was okay with that; because a packed schedule meant less time away from home.

The first night Rick was gone had been the last night she slept in their bed. It just felt so cold without his warm body to snuggle against. Instead she spent most evenings curled up on the couch in _her _room upstairs. She tried to remind herself that she had lived alone for many years; over a decade in fact. After college Kate never moved back home. She couldn't fathom living amongst the still raw memories of her mother. She wasn't sure how her father had managed it and wondered if it had contributed to his addiction. She had never had any roommates after leaving the dorm either. In fact, until Castle, she had never lived with anyone.

So why was she finding it so difficult now? It was only ten days. When Rick initially told her about the trip it didn't seem like such a big deal, but that was months ago. Since then Alexis had finalized her decision to go to college early and they had found out they were pregnant. Combine all of that with the fact that she and Rick had not spent a night apart since last June; and ten days suddenly felt like ten years. Distraction, she had quickly realized that distraction was the only way she would survive. So with takeout, a bottle of water and her bag of books, she had also purchased a book about twin pregnancy, in hand; Kate climbed the stairs and settled in for another night of The Hatcher family and the hijinks of their precocious children.

She sat down on the couch and decided to skim thru the pregnancy book first. She had selected it primarily because of the pictures. Her belly grew every day and it was starting to freak her out a bit. She was glad to see that the half soccer ball sized mound she now carried was normal for fourteen weeks. Luckily she had found a store that carried high end professional maternity clothes. The dress pants rode very low in front and had a bit of elastic at the small of the back to allow for growth. The matching blazers were not meant to be buttoned but allowed for coverage of the belly. Kate had also purchased various turtlenecks and sweaters to accompany the new suits. After reading what to expect over the next few weeks, Kate shut the book and wolfed down her dinner. Her cravings had already switched from Mexican to anything with a crust. After finishing the savory chicken pot pie she inhaled the peach cobbler before reaching for the next book.

Just like she had done for the three previous evenings, Kate rubbed her belly and read aloud. She didn't read like her husband. There were no funny voices and sound effects, just the soft fluid tone that she had early on realized she only used when speaking to her children. It was a tone she hadn't known she possessed, but it somehow seemed appropriate that she use a new sound when saying new words like Mommy, Daddy, Sissy and babies. She couldn't help but notice that to her ears, she sounded just like her mother.

If there was one good thing to come out of Castle's absence it would be that Kate was bonding with her children in a different way. With Rick present they often talked about all the things they would do together. They discussed the logistics of her working and him staying at home. He suggested nursery motifs and weighed the pros and cons of cloth diapers versus disposable. He spent hours going on about different bottles and nipples even though they both agreed she would breast feed for as long as possible. That topic alone could send him into a thirty minute speech about how the Captain would be required to provide her with time and space at the precinct to pump, an activity Kate had no desire to think about right now.

But alone, Kate only thought of the actual babies themselves. Would they be healthy? Would they be identical? Would they look like him or her or a mix of them both? What would they smell like? What would they sound like? How would they feel snuggled in her arms? She imagined the feel of their tiny breath tickling her neck as they slept on her shoulder. She couldn't wait to feel their perfect little hands wrapped around her finger or fisted in her hair. She never thought it was possible to love anyone more than she did Richard Castle, but these two tiny souls were giving him a run for his money.

Kate dropped the book on the floor and reached for the ringing cell. She must have fallen asleep while reading. She glanced at the clock; it was after two in the morning. "Beckett."

"Kate?"

"Hey"

"Did I wake you up?" His voice sounded concerned.

"S'okay, I must have dozed off; late night?" It was an hour behind in Chicago, but still it was late for even him.

"Yeah, big signing tonight; remember the one with all of Black Pawn's authors, not just me?"

Kate stretched and yawned, "You didn't have to call if you're tired."

"No way, especially after getting Alexis's text."

Kate panicked for a moment. Had Alexis called her tonight? Was something wrong? Kate glanced at her phone and saw three missed calls. "Is she okay?"

Rick again sounded worried, "Yeah, but she's worried about you. She said you didn't answer, she called your cell three times and the house phone twice. Are you okay, really?"

"Rick, really I'm fine. Just haven't gotten a lot of sleep lately and it must've caught up with me." Kate slid down to lay on the couch. Her neck had a slight crick in it from falling asleep sitting up.

"Can't sleep without me, huh?" Rick's tone had quickly turned playful. Kate appreciated that he was trying not to hover.

"Yeah right, because the sound of your heavy breathing soothes me to sleep."

"Oh Detective, my heavy breathing is meant to do anything but induce sleep." She could hear the leer in his voice. "In fact, I was thinking."

"No, I am not having phone sex with you." Kate was only half joking.

Rick laughed, "That's very tempting, but I'm sitting in the bar of my hotel waiting for Paula to come back from the bathroom. I think that might be a little awkward, don't you?"

Kate felt a twinge of disappointment. He wouldn't be able to talk long. "So, what _were_ you thinking?"

Rick hesitated, "I was hoping you might consider going away with me?"

Kate twinged a bit. She was already going to miss so much work this year with possible bed rest near the end of the pregnancy not to mention the maternity leave itself. Rick had already convinced her to take the whole twelve weeks her years of service entitled her to instead of the normal eight. However, she did have plenty of vacation days and she knew that he knew that.

"Kate?" Her husband's pleading voice interrupted her thoughts. "It'll be our last chance, just the two of us before…"

"Yes," Kate spoke before she could talk herself out of it. She had come to the same conclusions he had. Pretty soon they would be four instead of two. The chances of them just getting away together would soon become all but impossible.

"YES?" Rick sounded ecstatic.

"Don't get too excited. I have to ask the Captain first. Where are you taking me?"

"Leave that to me. Got to go, Paula's coming back." There was a second of silence; Kate knew he didn't want to hang up without knowing for sure.

"We're fine Rick, just come home to us soon. I love you." Kate struggled to keep her voice from cracking.

"'_What a grand thing, to be loved! What a grander thing still, to love!'"_

He always managed to cheer her up somehow. "Goodnight Daddy."

Kate assumed Paula must have finally made her way back to the table because Rick whispered his final words, "Goodnight Mommy, goodnight babies, goodnight John Boy."

xxxxxxxxxx

God he was tired. His flight had been delayed, it was after midnight. He should have been home hours ago. He just wanted to get to her. He just wanted to feel her in his arms and breathe in the scent of her.

"Never again"

"What?" Paula was walking up the ramp beside him. She wasn't even fazed by the late hour. She had been texting her assistant since the plane landed and the Captain had given permission to once again use electronic devices.

"I'm not doing any more of these?"

Paula caught on quickly, "Richard, book tours are a large part of the reason you are so famous."

"No, my books are why I'm famous. I have a pretty good fan base, I don't need to go out and sell myself anymore." Rick was being stern, something he rarely was concerning his fans.

"Yes, and it's just those fans that have come to expect you to do book signings."

Rick shook his head. His breathing was becoming labored as he was almost sprinting. "If they are truly my fans they will understand when you put out another press release."

Paula had no problem keeping up with her client, "And what exactly am I saying in said release?" Her lisp became more pronounced when she was angry.

They had stepped out of the tunnel and into the main area of the gate. He allowed enough space for the other passengers to pass by before stopping and turning to face her. She needed to see that he was serious. "I don't care how you say it, but I will not be traveling until my children are in school. I will not leave them or their mother for this long again."

"But Richard that could be five or six years."

"Assuming we don't have more after these two." He watched Paula clench her jaw and tap her foot. She crossed her arms over her chest. She was clearly ready for a fight, but he wasn't in any mood. "This conversation is over Paula. I pay you remember?"

Paula softened, she knew he was right. His books sold whether or not he did tours and talk shows. She had seen this Richard Castle before. It was the same Richard Castle that had appeared seventeen years ago with the birth of his daughter. The same one that showed up again a few years later when Meredith left them both. She had known she would see him again. Had known from the day he called to tell her that Kate was pregnant. Actually, she was surprised it took him this long, but she had to at least pretend to put up a fight. "Don't you think you're getting a little old to play _Suzy Homemaker_?"

Rick just smiled, "Never, have you seen what I get to go home to?"

Paula just walked away and made her way to baggage claim. Rick packed lightly for this trip and only had a carry on. He quickly made his way past security. He flipped open his cell to call for a cab but was interrupted by a familiar voice.

"Hey handsome"

Kate was leaning against the wall just a few feet from him. She was wearing a pair of faded jeans and athletic shoes. Her coat hung open loosely and he could see she was wearing a tight fitting black sweater beneath. Her hair was up in a messy bun. Her hands were tucked in her pockets; she licked her lips and gave him a sexy wink. His heart almost stopped. She was more beautiful than he could ever remember her looking before. Her face was slightly plumper than he had ever seen it, but he was sure the change was not enough for anyone but him to notice. He closed the distance and dropped his bag from his shoulder. He placed his hands on either side of her face. She slid her hands from her pockets and wrapped them around his waist resting them in the back pockets of his jeans. He felt her fingers dig in a bit.

"Hey beautiful"

He returned the compliment then tilted his head slightly as their mouths met. There was no teasing or biting. Their mouths opened upon contact. Her tongue tasted like sunshine, her skin smelled like forever and her embrace felt like home. She _was_ his home. He ran his fingers thru her hair then down her back. He pulled her body in close and she melted against him. That's when he noticed just how much he had actually missed.

For Kate the world faded away. All she knew was his face, his arms and his mouth. She couldn't help but moan as his hands ran the length of her body. He felt so solid beneath hers. She had missed him and never wanted him to be gone again. She didn't want him to miss another minute.

He pulled back and ran his hands from her back to her front. The sweater had done a lot to conceal just how much she had grown in a relatively short period of time. However, she couldn't hide it from his hands.

"My god, they've gotten so big!" His eyes lit up.

Kate placed her hand on his cheek, "Take me home and I'll show you just how big."

**xxxxxxxxxx**

**I forget that not all of my readers are from America. I hope everyone understood the John Boy reference?**


	11. Chapter 11

**First things first, I need to explain the John Boy thing to my Dutch, Aussie (well some Aussies), French and Italian (you lucky Italians) readers. **_**The Walton's**_** was a little TV show in the 70's. It was about a large family making their life in the mountains of Virginia. Every show ended with a night time shot of the house and each light going out one at a time. All the while you could hear the family members saying good night Ma, goodnight Pa, goodnight Mary Ellen and so on. The reason John Boy sticks out is that his character was the oldest son and was the narrator of the entire series. Hope that makes sense…**

**Secondly, Kate has a little emotional snafu in this one. One more stumbling block to get her over before a complete acceptance of this motherhood thing. Not sure I expressed her emotions exactly right, but I hope you get the point…..**

**Don't own them, but I would love to own the Mauna Lani Bay Hotel in which they are currently staying…**

**xxxxxxxxxx**

"Ooohh right there," Rick moaned. "Harder, yeah Kate that's it."

Rick was sprawled across the bed lying flat on his stomach while Kate walked on his back. His body lay parallel with the headboard so she could steady herself with one hand on the wall. Even though the bed in the tropical bungalow was considerably lower than most; a fall from even this height could be detrimental. They had arrived at the luxury resort on the Big Island's Kahola Coast a few days earlier. They originally heard about the location while on their honeymoon and both wanted to visit. At first Castle thought a second trip to Hawaii so soon was a bit redundant, but with it being February and freezing in New York they wanted to get away to someplace warm and sunny with a beach. They considered Jamaica or the Bahamas, but both concerned Rick; what if for some reason Kate needed medical treatment? Would they have the technology to provide the services she might require? Leaving the country became a non-option. However, the irony was not lost on him; right now he was the one that might require medical treatment.

"Hey down there, I thought you were injured?" Kate tapped his hip with the top of her foot.

"My back, not my mouth," his voice sounded slightly muffled.

"Maybe I'll have better luck next time." She pressed the ball of her foot hard into the small of his back and they both heard the loud pop.

His body relaxed under her feet, "I think you got it."

She turned around and slid her feet to the mattress on either side of his body. She took a seat on her husband's backside. "I guess it's true what they say?"

"I'm afraid to ask." His voice was still muffled by the comforter but sounded less pained.

"You can't teach an old dog new tricks."

"Woof."

Rick chuckled to think about his failed attempt at skimboarding. Kate had been reading a book while sunning on one the many double lounge chairs the resort had placed along the private beach. She didn't feel like swimming and he didn't feel like sitting. He saw a few teenagers floating across the surf on their boards and thought it looked like fun. One clumsy try later and he was barely able to walk back to their private bungalow.

Kate lightly tickled the sensitive flesh above his hipbones and slid her fingers underneath his t-shirt. She had promised him a massage after the back cracking. "Okay Old Man raise up for a sec."

He did as he was told and let her slip the garment over his head. Kate began at his tailbone which was now situated between her thighs. He was wearing his swim trunks and they were still damp from his very brief dip in the Pacific. She hadn't changed from her bikini either and the bottoms were now damp from coming in contact with his. She worked her strong hands up his spine making sure to knead any tight spot or kinked muscle she encountered. She wanted to tease him mercilessly about the wipeout on the beach, but she knew he had been sore even before that. She suspected it had something to do with his trip to Chicago; sleeping in a strange bed for almost two weeks, then only a few days later jumping on another plane to Hawaii and having to get used to yet another mattress. As she reached his shoulders he untucked his arms from beneath his body laying them flat and folded at the elbows. He turned is head to the side with his left cheek against the comforter.

Kate could see that his eyes were closed. She was glad that he was finally relaxing. She hated that it took an injury to get him to slow down, however. He had been going full out for weeks. When she saw how full his tour schedule was she assumed it was his attempt to appease Paula and Gina enough to leave him alone for the rest of her pregnancy and maybe even for a while after. Now that he was done with that, however, he was still going full tilt. He was up early planning their days, he never sat still, he never stopped talking. She thought she had finally figured it out earlier in the day and had hoped her refusal to do anything but sit and read would push him over the edge and into a confession. No go, instead he had acted reckless and hurt himself.

"Does it ever bother you?" His question pulled her from wherever she had gone.

"Hmmm?" Maybe he was ready to talk.

"My age?"

That wasn't the direction she was expecting this conversation to go. Kate's eyes shot open, she hadn't realized how relaxed she had become now that Rick was no longer bouncing off the walls. She had fully expected her husband to break down and admit to filling every waking moment with activity in a meager attempt to keep his mind off how much he missed his daughter, how far she was from him and how much he worried about her day in and day out. She didn't expect this. Kate leaned forward sliding her hands along his arms until her fingers wound in his. She pressed her chest against his bare back resting her left cheek on his right, making sure to balance the bulk of her weight on her knees so as not to pancake their offspring between their bodies.

"Never," she placed a feathery kiss to his shoulder. "Does it you?"

She felt the brush of his eyelash against her cheekbone as he opened his eyes. "Only in that it means we have _less_ time."

Kate rarely experienced the melancholy side of her husband; the rest of the world never saw it. To everyone else he was always the happy-go-lucky nothing-bothers-me Richard Castle. Even though it was a rare sight, Kate was thankful each time she caught a glimpse. In her mind it cemented their partnership, their connection. In return he was the only one she shared her innermost feelings with. Her fears, her sadness, her joy, her dreams; it was all on display for him and him alone. That they each could so easily share that which would normally be kept hidden only re-enforced their commitment, their marriage, their forever.

"Less time for what?" She was pretty sure she knew the answer but wanted clarification.

"Everything," he sighed. "Do you ever wish we'd found each other sooner?"

He moved slightly and she sat up raising herself enough to let him turn over underneath her. Once he was settled she sat on his hips bones and leaned against his thighs.

Kate was shaking her head, "No, I wouldn't have been ready and would've let you slip through my fingers."

The shift in position left her feet free for him to play with; he used them as a distraction. He fiddled with her toes and stared at the ceiling above. He thought about her answer. "And you don't believe in fate?"

Rick knew she had stepped right into that one, but his wife was never one to admit defeat. "Not fate, just good timing."

He grabbed a nearby pillow and slipped it under his head; no longer wanting to stare at the ceiling. He had better things to look at. He motioned for her to lay down beside him. He wanted to hold her close. She gladly obliged and was soon cuddled next to him with her head on his shoulder, an arm draped across his chest and her legs tangled with his.

"That explains it then, fashionably late as usual." He tilted his head and touched his lips to her head; she felt wonderful, she smelled wonderful. "Do you think _they'll_ mind?"

"Our children will feel so loved and so adored. With you as their father they'll never know a day without words of encouragement or touches of love. It's what you do, it's who you are. Alexis can attest to that, I can attest to that."

"I worry that I won't be able to give them what I gave Alexis."

Kate stiffened and huffed, "Because of your age, or because of me?"

Rick grimaced; he hadn't meant to start a fight. He rarely let his worries get the best of him but when he did Kate was always there to talk him from the ledge. He blindly brought them to her with hopes of soothing words which she had provided, but this time in the process he had stirred up concerns of her own. He wasn't exactly sure what nerve he had hit, but whichever it was he had run into it head-on.

"What?... Why?... It has nothing to do with you." Oh god, he immediately regretted that comment.

Kate was out of his arms in an instant. Her face was red and growing redder with each second that passed. She sat straight up and leaned back against the headboard. Her arms were folded across her chest and she used the leverage her new position created to shove at his hip with her feet. Even as strong as she was her efforts barely moved him a few inches before he was grabbing her leg; trying to pull himself up beside her all-the-while trying to avoid taking a hit to his manhood.

"Nothing to do with me? You have to be kidding!" Kate was shoving at his arms and chest trying to shake him loose.

He released her leg and tried to capture her flailing hands, "Kate, stop! You're going to hurt yourself."

Now the anger was really boiling, "That's exactly what I'm talking about!" She shoved him off and tried to climb from the bed but she wasn't as agile as she would be normally and he grabbed her hips pulling her sideways into his lap. "Castle, let go of me now!"

Of course he ignored her. He held her tight until she stopped fighting him and leaned into his chest. She rested her head in the crook of his neck. It was obvious to them both that her reaction was about more than whatever it was he had said. He didn't stroke her back or caress her hand for comfort. Instead he sat perfectly still waiting for the right moment to speak. Even after all this time there were occasions when Kate reverted back to her old habits and closed herself off. Rick was an expert at waiting it out and he didn't mind. Not too long ago he would have taken it personally, but not anymore. It was her way of dealing with new emotions; it had worked for so many years he couldn't blame her for using the old mechanism occasionally even if he didn't understand it. Rick waited until her breathing returned to normal and all the tension left her body.

"What did I do?"

"Nothing."

"Uh-uh, give it up, I'm a big boy I can handle it." He saw the corners of her mouth turn up slightly. That was all the signal he needed. He slowly rubbed her back encouraging her.

"Sometimes I feel," Kate didn't know how to say it without hurting his feelings. "I feel like I'm just the incubator. Like once they're out you won't need me for anything else." She hung her face in her hands; it sounded worse out loud than it had in her head.

"I'm sorry honey; you'll have to elaborate on that one. What do I do to make you feel like that?"

It wasn't really him, or it wasn't just him, "When you talk about raising them, I don't see myself in the picture your words paint."

Rick stiffened a bit, "But we always talk about the things _we're_ going to do with them. All the plans, all the vacations and…" He stopped when she started shaking her head.

"Not for the fun stuff; for the rest."

Rick had to think about that one. His mind ran over the whole conversation, over all the conversations they had over the last two months, well the baby ones anyway. He could see Kate watching him; expecting him to figure it out so she didn't have to try to explain any more.

Kate watched as her husband mentally recalled all the words that had passed between them. She was relying on him to understand her better than she understood herself. She knew he had the ability to put it into words better than she ever could. If she continued to try there would be more fighting and more hard feelings between them. This way was always easier; easier on their relationship if not easier on her; having someone picking around in your brain wasn't so pleasant even if it was the man you love. It only took him a few minutes to piece it all together.

"I never ever picture any of it without you." He raised her face to his with a palm to her chin. "You have to know that. In my mind's eye you are always there." He waited for her to nod slightly. "But I will admit, I guess you are sometimes on the sidelines."

"I make it easy don't I?" Kate searched his eyes for the truth and hated what she saw.

"Yeah Kate, you do." His voice was soft and she could hear the resentment in it; the resentment she created. "I will be their primary caregiver, so it's just easy to kind of take over in my mind. I'm sorry, I only know…"

She finished his sentence, "…what it's like to do it alone."

He nodded and wrapped his arms around her; he held her close. He couldn't look at her face and say what he had to say next. "What about you? Did you think it would make it easier in case…"

Kate nodded into his neck and he could feel the warmth of her tears as they smeared across his skin. She began to sob. Once again he hit the nail on the head. It wasn't really him that had mentally pushed her to the side; she had done it to herself. If she placed herself front and center in her children's lives, what would happen if the unthinkable occurred? She couldn't imagine leaving them devastated the way she had been devastated over a decade earlier. If she kept one foot out the door then the goodbye would be easier, the loss would hurt them less. She would make sure their father was the center of their world just in case their mother left the world entirely. But what if nothing ever happened to her, the odds were far better that she would be around for it all? Should she give up the happiness her children were sure to bring her; the happiness they had already brought her for fear of the 'what ifs'? Did it have to be a trade off?

"Kate," the deep vibration of his voice against her cheek brought her back to the present. "Had she known the outcome, do you think your mom would have traded a day of what the two of you shared?"

Kate thought about it before speaking, "No, she would have just loved me harder, deeper… But Rick, I can't devastate them like that."

Again he lifted her head to face his and his voice took on a serious tone she rarely heard from him. "So what, they get a lifetime of mediocre to save them from a pain that may never happen? Would you miss your mom less if she had been a workaholic? Would her murder have been any less painful had she hugged you less often or gone on fewer vacations with you and our dad?"

"No." Kate knew he was right.

"Exactly, you would have grieved just as much; would have fought just as hard for justice, but would've missed out on nineteen years of wonderful before that." He watched her face until he was sure they were on the same page. "So here's what we're going to do." Rick shifted her in his lap and she settled between his thighs, her back against his chest. He placed his hands over hers and laid them all on her belly. He didn't do or say anything else.

"Rick?"

"Shhh."

They sat like that for a while, in complete silence. Rick's fingers moved slightly against her newly tanned skin. Kate could tell he was smiling, his cheek was touching hers.

"What are we doing?" She whispered so as not to disrupt the wonderful stillness that had settled around them

"We're imagining," he said it like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"Imagining what?"

"Everything," he kissed her shoulder. "All the things we already imagined but this time we'll get it right. After all '_Imagination is everything. It is the preview of life's coming attractions_'"

Kate couldn't help but laugh. He made everything so sound so easy. And really, why wasn't it? Why did she have to make everything so complicated? "Can we imagine that these two don't end up as screwed up as their mother?"

"Anything's possible, highly unlikely, but possible."

xxxxxxxxxx

Kate slipped out of bed, careful not to wake her sleeping husband. She made her way to the kitchen; she was starving.

"Okay babies; just give me a few minutes to put some breakfast together."

She spoke in a hushed voice even though the chance of waking Rick was slim. The private bungalow they had been staying in for over a week was quite spacious. In fact, even Rick had admitted that 4,000 square feet was a bit much even for him. Kate padded thru the living room and into the high-end kitchen. She opened the refrigerator and pulled out a bowl of fruit left over from the night before. She blushed a little at the memory of the previous evening's escapades. She was sure, should she look, she would find a few remaining sticky spots on her body that Rick may have missed. Just then her stomach growled.

"Impatient, great, just like your father." She patted her stomach and sat down in one of the nearby barstools.

A few minutes later with the fruit completely consumed she was once again rummaging in the fridge. Kate had never been good about eating on a schedule. There was a time after a tough case that she would almost completely collapse from lack of nutrition having relied on nothing but coffee and a little bit of candy from her desk. Of course that all changed as soon as Castle entered her life. He always made sure she ate even if it was just takeout for her to pick at while she studied her murder board. But still, until now she never really felt the need to eat with any consistency and her diet wasn't exactly balanced. Yes, she was in excellent physical condition, but she always attributed that to a mixture of good genetics and exercise. It was amazing to her now how her body could just take over. She was no longer able to skip meals or sustain herself on junk food alone. She required three square meals a day in addition to almost constantly feeling the need to snack on something.

What was even more amazing was the fact that she had only gained eight pounds so far. How could she possibly be eating like she was and not have packed on more weight than that? Her Doctor had explained that thirty pounds was normal but for twins she could expect to gain as much as forty. Kate wasn't really worried so much about the weight gain. Despite her slender frame her height and the fact that she was considerably long in the torso meant she should be able to carry two babies without too much difficulty. She figured between breastfeeding two hungry infants and keeping up with their sure-to-be hyper father, the weight would melt off easily. Yes, thank god for good genetics.

After fixing herself a bowl of oatmeal she settled into a lounge chair on the lanai and watched the sun crest over the island. It was beautiful; but not as breathtaking as the sunsets had been. She insisted on watching almost every night as the sun dipped lower and lower filling the sky with multiple colors before seemingly disappearing into the endless expanse of ocean.

She looked around the deck; they had their own private pool and Jacuzzi in addition to being less than fifty yards from the surf. The deck was made of a beautiful warm colored teak in keeping with the tropical locale. The whole place was so different from either of their homes back in New York but was just as comfortable.

Never in a million years would she have thought her life would turn out like this. How had she been blessed with all of it? Not the money or the trips or the sparkly gifts her husband like to lavish on her, but the quiet, the calm, the fulfilled hopes and dreams. She breathed in the salty sea air and let the white noise of the surf relax and clear her mind. She was slowly learning not to question it, now she just needed to learn to accept and appreciate all she had been blessed with.

Her thoughts were eventually interrupted. She hadn't so much heard him; it was more like a shift in the air pressure hinting at his presence. Similar to the way the air in her lungs ceased its movement briefly every time she caught sight of him, or even thought of him for that matter. She could swear the physical properties of her world shifted with the mere existence of Richard Castle.

"Hey."

Rick laughed as he stepped up beside her, "How did you know?"

"I'm a Detective, it's what I do." She reached for his hand and he willingly gave it over.

With the other he handed her a glass of pineapple juice; she was going to be on sugar overload for sure this morning, but she took it from him anyway. He always poured a large glass for himself but passed it to her after a few gulps. It was his way of making sure she drank something other than tea loaded with sugar and cream without seeming overbearing. Kate was on to him and he knew it, but neither one let on. She drained the glass and sat it on the deck. She scooted over pulling Rick down beside her.

"You're up early this morning." Rick was still sleepy and he rested his head on her shoulder and cuddled close to her side.

"I was hungry." The statement was barely out of her mouth before he moved.

"I'll go make you…"

Kate grabbed his hips and stilled his movement. She encouraged him to again rest his head. She smoothed down his crazy bed hair and rocked him slightly in her arms. "Thank you but I already ate something."

Rick dozed for another hour or so before stirring again. He raised his face to hers and gave her a sheepish grin and whispered against her lips. "Good morning."

He tilted his head and kissed her. The kiss was long and soft. If Kate had to pick her favorite kind of kiss it would be this one. She loved all his kisses, of course, but when Rick was still slightly sleepy his lips didn't crush, there was no warring for dominance; he just lavished her with a tender affection that turned her insides to mush.

"Good morning to you too." Kate kissed him back with equal softness. "Why are whispering?"

Rick nudged her cheek with his nose and nodded towards her stomach. "The babies."

"What about them?"

"I don't want to wake them." Rick saw his wife's questioning look and tried to fill in the blanks. "It's Valentine's Day and I'm going to be a selfish daddy. I want their mommy all to myself today." He put his finger to his lips in a hushing sign. "No talking about babies for the whole day."

Kate had to laugh at his childlike demeanor. It was one of his most endearing qualities. However, like most children, he didn't always use common sense.

"Rick, there may be a few holes in your logic and being a seeker of the truth I feel I am required to point them out." Kate turned to her side facing him.

"Enlighten me Detective." He pulled her to his chest and draped his leg over hers.

"_First_, mommy and babies are a package deal; at least for the next twenty weeks or so. Therefore should you want to spend the day with one the other two are sure to follow."

"And?"

"_Second_," she corrected, "you do not have a selfish bone in your body; especially when it comes to your children."

"C?" he couldn't help but mess with her.

Kate poked his chest before holding up three fingers. "_Third_, why, if you didn't want any baby talk today, did you spend an hour last night whining and begging me to finally let you buy them something on our shopping trip later today?"

Rick saw her playfully raise her eyebrow and he knew it was his turn. "Well, I will concede to two of those."

"Only two, huh? I believe I am correct on all three points. What proof can you offer to the contrary?"

He pushed her shoulders slightly so she was again on her back. He moved his body to hover over hers. "You're right; I _will_ have to share you, even though it's our first Valentine's Day together and I have some special plans for you. We'll just have to ask _them_ to keep it down a bit during dinner." He waggled his brows. "And yes I really do want to buy them their first souvenirs." He used his knees to spread her legs apart and he settled between her thighs.

Kate gladly allowed his advances and slipped her hands into his boxers. "And the selfish daddy part?" She gave him a playful squeeze.

"Oh Detective," He arched into her grasp. "I believe you are currently holding evidence of my selfish _bone _in your hands?"

**xxxxxxxxxx**

**I have to confess the slight angst of the first section of this chapter may have come from my recent discovery and struggle with chezchuckles's Fanfic entitled **_**Dash Away**_**. Don't get me wrong, I love that story for three reasons. First, much like in my Fic, Castle and Kate are married and have a child. Secondly, I love to read how other writers interpret the relationship between them. Thirdly, chezchuckles has an excellent way of expressing the love/passion between Kate and Castle. However, I don't agree with the internal struggles that constantly take place in that story. I think Andrew Marlowe will never have his characters make mistakes that will in essence **_**trap**_** them to each other. I don't think, once together, Kate will ever resent Castle for taming her and Castle will never have any fear of pushing Kate so far that she will flee. But again, I wait with baited breath for each and every chapter nonetheless. If you aren't reading it, I suggest you give it a shot. But be prepared it's an emotional roller coaster, that one.**


	12. Chapter 12

**This is a short one. Mostly because I am writing it on my Tablet and it can be a bit of a hassle. I had another scene planned for this chapter but will just make it a bit longer and have it stand alone in the next. Hope you don't hold it against me.**

**This one is for every pregnant woman that has had to put up with crazy people and their constant touching and guessing about the sex of their babies.**

**xxxxxxxxxx**

"You missed a spot." Kate licked the dribble of chocolate ice cream from Rick's chin.

"Hey, I was saving that for later."

Kate laughed and kissed his lips, "Blame the babies, no food is safe around them."

Rick jumped from table they were seated at. They had stopped for a cool snack while waiting for the cab to pick them up. They were currently at the Hapuna Beach State Park. After walking the expanse of soft white sand they both agreed that the location had rightfully earned its reputation as one of Hawaii's finest beaches.

"Good thing the cab is here then, we must get these youngins fed." He pulled Kate up and led her to the awaiting vehicle.

They rode in silence and Kate took in the expanse of ocean beyond the glass. It was the first day since arriving at the tropical locale that they had actually ventured farther than the beach adjacent to their resort. She and Rick were both content to spend the whole two weeks holed up together in the spacious bungalow. In fact if the last few days were any indication of their preferences they were both content to spend the whole vacation in bed. However, should they never venture out, they might find it hard to explain a few things to their friends and family. For example, lack of suntans, lack of souvenirs and lack of pictures. Therefore, at least for the day they would be typical tourists. They had already walked the famous shoreline; they were on their way to the Queen's Marketplace for lunch and a day of frivolous shopping before spending a romantic Valentine's Day evening at their Resort's Canoehouse Restaurant. After which Kate was sure they would find themselves back in bed for the remainder of the trip. At least that would be her preference and she was sure she could convince her husband to see things her way.

"Ow!"

Kate felt a twinge of pain and the sudden intake of air between clenched teeth produced a slight hissing sound. She immediately rubbed the spot on her lower right side and waited for it to subside. She had read about round ligament pain at this stage of her pregnancy and how it was especially prominent in twin pregnancies due to the rapid growth of the uterus. As advertised it came on suddenly and was isolated to one side. It wasn't terribly painful but its sudden onset had been a bit startling. She inhaled deeply just trying to breathe through what should be only a brief situation.

Rick was on her instantly, "What? Kate, tell me what's wrong."

He rarely saw his wife in any pain beyond a few stiff muscles here and there, so the scrunched up face and awkward breathing scared the hell out of him. He placed one hand over hers as she tried to soothe whatever was causing the distress. His other lay firmly atop her abdomen.

"It's okay… Perfectly normal… Read about it… Should go away in a few minutes..." Kate managed between breaths.

"Kate do we need…"

Kate's hand on his mouth halted what she had to assume was going to be a suggestion to go to an ER. "Just give me a minute, please." She continued to breathe in and out while trying to stay relaxed just as the book suggested. After a minute or so the pain went away as swiftly as it had arrived. "Okay, it's gone." She wound her fingers in his even as he continued to rub the afflicted area.

Rick searched her face for anymore signs of pain. "What the hell was that?" He was surprised when the corners of her mouth turned up in a slight smile.

"I am so going to want to shoot you during labor aren't I?"

"It's not funny. You read about this? Why didn't you warn me?" He was practically in tears.

"Rick seriously?" She wanted to be aggravated at him but his concern was so genuine. "The list of possible symptoms in the second trimester is so long I couldn't possibly fill you in on all of them." She rubbed her thumb along his pouting lower lip.

Rick's eyes continued to fill with moisture. Obviously he knew having babies was a painful process, but stupidly he assumed it would all be reserved for the actual labor part. He tried to shake back the tears and continued to massage her bump. "Was it bad?"

Kate just shook her head and reached for the door handle. The cab had stopped at their destination and the driver was anxiously waiting for them to exit the vehicle. Rick paid the driver and quickly caught up with Kate as she walked toward the entrance of the Market. He was still concerned and knew it was evident in his eyes, but he also knew if he continued his assault Kate's patience would be tested; she didn't like his hovering. He walked a few feet behind her as they made their way through the entrance; the crowd was heavy and he didn't want to seem rude and push himself thru.

Suddenly Kate stopped in her tracks. Rick instantly thought she was again in pain. He made his way to her side and was shocked to see an elderly woman touching Kate's belly. If he had to guess the tiny woman's age he would have put it somewhere in the nineties. She was wearing a traditional Hawaiian dress with rich shades of blues, yellows and reds. Her hands were dark and gnarled; evidence of decades of hard labor. Her hair was long and silvery. She reminded him of the women in some of his favorite westerns, the only difference being the obvious Polynesian features in place of Native American. For a moment Rick feared for the woman's safety; knowing how much Kate hated to be touched by strangers. He glanced at his wife's face expecting to see anger or horror, but instead she was smiling down at the wrinkled hands roaming her body. The height difference between the two women was shocking. Even in casual flip flops Kate towered more than a foot and a half over the petite woman. It seemed as though the crowd had suddenly dissipated but at second glance it was as more like the crowd was allowing the elder woman the reverence her years of life deserved. Rick watched in amazement as the woman smiled, he barely registered the missing teeth as she held up two fingers to Kate. Clearly understanding, Kate nodded her confirmation. She rubbed Kate's belly again and repeated something over and over as if repetition alone would beget understanding.

"Kaikamahine."

"I'm sorry, I don't understand." Kate's voice was soft and apologetic.

The woman again showed two fingers and said, "kaikamahine."

Rick stepped in and repeated the word back exactly as he heard it. The woman was persistent and didn't seem to be eager to let them move on. He figured if he had to he could ask someone what it meant. Of course looking at Kate it didn't seem like she was eager to go anywhere anyway.

"There you are!" A young woman approached and placed her hands on the elder woman's shoulders. She spoke to Kate, "I'm so sorry, I hope my great-grandmother hasn't bothered you." She smiled sheepishly at them and began to steer her loved one away.

"Wait!" Kate stepped forward, "She kept repeating something to us."

Kate touched Rick's chest encouraging him to repeat the word he had clearly memorized. As he repeated the word slowly syllable by syllable the old woman's face spread into yet another wide smile. She held two fingers up to her granddaughter.

"Kaikamahine."

The young woman clearly understood the situation, "Great-Grandmother would like to congratulate you on the upcoming birth of your daughters." With that the pair disappeared into the crowd.

Stunned, Kate watched her husband as the '_I told you so'_ expression lit up his face. "No, don't even say it." She grabbed his hand and pulled him in the direction of the nearest restaurant.

"Come on Kate, she clearly has like a century's worth of experience."

"Uh-uh, no hocus pocus stuff." Kate stopped in front of the café entrance taking up their spot in line.

Rick took his place behind her wrapping her in his arms, crossing them over her chest and clutching her upper arms. He placed a kiss on her shoulder, "Your grandfather would be so disappointed in you."

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"Okay, I can do this."

Kate squared her shoulders and entered the store Rick had already disappeared into. They had just finished lunch where the helpful waiter had giving them a pamplet mapping out the whole market. Of course Rick had instantly noticed the baby boutique that just happened to be a few doors down from the café. Kate barely crossed the threshold before Rick ran up to her with two tiny articles of clothing in his hand.

"Kate!" He was so excited he could barely contain himself, "they're perfect!" He held out the onsies and waited for her to read them.

Her heart melted at the size alone. She couldn't imagine a human small enough to fit into the miniature garments. Her hand tremored slightly as she ran her fingers over the pale green material. Clearly the two went together in a set and had words embroidered in the center. The first one said _Two Peas_ and the second one said _ in a Pod. _Each had a cute little picture of half a peapod. Each pod held a chunby little smiling pea snuggled inside. She choked back a sound that was a mixture of a laugh and a sob.

"You're right, they're perfect." She took the onsies from her husband and practically hugged them to her chest.

Rick placed his arm across her shoulders and began leading her thru the store. "Come on Mama, lets get these kids some clothes."


	13. Chapter 13

**Another short one…**

**I worried some that by letting you all know up front that this story coincides with my one-shot, Love Letters it would make this one predictable. However, I am pleasantly surprised with each review that clearly shows not all of you have read that one, or if you have you are enjoying this fill-in-the blanks story.**

**Don't own them, but I do love a good trip to Hawaii…. **

"It gets me every time."

The Castle's were seeted side by side while Kate watched the sunset from the open air restaurant. Eventhough the resort was a well known destination for couples it also catered to families, and on any other day it would be perfectly normal to have children of all ages running around the common areas or playing on the beach. However, with it being Valentine's Day, the Canoehouse was hosting a special couples only evening for romance seeking guests. Rick was still working on his portion of the Chataeubriand for two; Kate's was long gone as was the remainder of the bread and his portion of the asparagus he refused to eat.

"Breathtaking, I know."

Rick gave her a wink as she slowly shifted her eyes from the horizen to him. As usual, he had no desire to watch anything but his wife. He had seen sunsets, had seen sunrises, had seen waves crashing against the shore. None of those things held a candle to Katherine Beckett. Kate softly nudged his thigh and rested her head on his shoulder. Rick had expected a poke or a smack, maybe even a comment about his corny remark. He certainly didn't expect to see a doe-eyed look on her face or hear the soft sigh escape her perfect lips. His heart fluttered knowing he could do that to her, or maybe it was Kate that did it to him.

"Is it present time yet?" Rick put his fork down and slid the box toward her, sliding it along the white linen tablecloth.

Kate sat up and glared at the perfectly wrapped package. She had helped Rick unpack from his business trip and repack for vacation. She was aware of every item in his suitcase so whatever the gift was, it hadn't flown with them from New York. She'd spotted it as soon they entered the restaurant earlier in the evening. Their reservations had been made a few days ago so somehow in true Castle style he had managed to have the item waiting for them.

"I'm still mad you know?"

"I know." Rick scooted the box closer, knowing the scolding she gave him while they ate their salads was the extent of her resistance.

"At least it's not jewelry." The size of the box alone made that fact quite clear, but Rick's raised eyebrow still had her playing along. "Unless it's a replica of Wilma Flinstone's famous baubles."

"How'd you guess?" Rick laughed and kissed Kate's temple, "Just open it."

Kate did as he asked and gently unwrapped the present. The box was not quite a cube; it measured about ten inches by ten with a height of about seven inches. The paper was a beautiful pearlescent pink and the ribbon white. Once all the trappings were removed she was surprised and delighted to find a camera enclosed. It was the exact model they had decided on weeks ago but just hadn't taken the time to pick up yet. One thing Kate was insistant on was that cameraphone pictures were not an acceptable way of recording the lives of their children.

"See, it really isn't a present." Rick was smugly proud of himself for technically not breaking his promise of no gifts. They had both agreed that the trip in itself would suffice.

"If it comes with wrapping and a bow it's a gift." A flash of guilt registered on her face, "I didn't get you anything."

Rick again kissed her temple and without removing his lips said, "You're all the gift I need."

Kate's head dipped but not before he saw the slight squint and the very brief nibble of the inside of her cheek. It was so quick; a micro-expression even, but he saw it nonetheless, just a result of how closely he always watched her. Not because he doubted her or feared his words would push her away, but because she was his and he wanted to know every intimate detail. To his surprise, before he could even ask, she was speaking.

"All the time I spent fighting this… us," she motioned between their bodies before covering his hand as it rested high on her thigh. "I always said it was because I didn't need anybody; that I couldn't possibly find peace and wholeness in another human being." She slowly rubbed her free hand up and down his forearm; the move provided a little time to gather her thoughts. "Looking back, that wasn't exactly it. Well that was part of it but not all." She could tell by the expectant look on his face that Rick's Jedi mind tricks were failing him. For once he hadn't already figured out what she was going to say. "I was mostly afraid of being _that_ for someone else; of being someone's…" she struggled with the words, she wasn't a craftsman like he was, "… your everything."

"Why?"

Of course he wanted her to elaborate. "Afraid I'd disappoint you, I guess." Kate tried to duck her head again. She didn't like showing fear to anyone, even him.

His next words alone forced her to look up but the sincerity in his whispered voice broke her heart. "Not even possible."

"Why?" Her question mirrored his from only moments ago.

_"'To the world you may be one person, but to one person you are the world.' _You're my world Kate."

"That doesn't answer the question." They were both well aware of that fact, "How can I not disappoint you, at least sometimes? It's not possible, I'm not perfect."

"Not perfect, but perfect for me." That earned him a jab to the ribs but he continued. "Think about all that the world has to offer. Yes, there's sadness and hurt and disappointment but there's so much more than that; think about its jaw-dropping beauty and source of endless fascination, both of which you possess. So to me, you _are_ the world."

Her eyes again fell to the panorama of colors beyond the dark expanse of ocean. Kate placed her lips to his upper arm, it wasn't really a kiss, just where she landed while trying to absorb his meaning. Rick caressed her cheek and smoothed the loose strands of hair that the cool breeze had blown from her bun. His thumb caught the curling corner of her mouth even as she tried to hide it behind his shoulder. She kissed the pad and nodded to his unfinished plate. She tucked herself a little furthur between him and the booth; she rested her cheek against him while he finished his meal. The warmth that spread throughout her body was only partially due to their proximity. The rest was the result of his words, of his love, of his devotion. How he managed to do it to her everytime, she would never know, but she never wanted the feeling to end.

"You're my universe." She whispered.

She couldn't not say it, but a small part of her did wish the words would be muffled in the soft material of his shirt; vulnerability was also still hard for her. As Rick raised his arm to wrap it around her shoulders she knew he had heard her.

"Always gotta out do me, huh?"

Kate pressed her lips to his. There was an urgency to it that told him they were skipping dessert. Actually, he had the sudden feeling he was dessert. "Take me back to our room and I'll give you the chance to _undo_ me."

"See, not all gifts have to come with a bow."


	14. Chapter 14

**I'm not sure what has come over me with these short chapters, sorry, I will try to improve. I also need to say sorry to crazy4castle. I tried to give ya'll some _dessert _but I just wasn't feeling it. I hope you like it anyway.**

**I'm beginning to think my version of Rick Castle is just too perfect, but maybe that's why we love him. Let me know if he is becoming too OOC.**

**xxxxxxxxxx**

"Darlings!"

"Hi Mother," Rick held the door for his wife to pass through.

"Hey Martha," Kate dropped the carry-on from her shoulder and embraced her cheerful mother-in-law. The subsequent kiss on the cheek was a normal offering from Martha Rogers, but was something the younger woman was still growing accustomed to.

"You look marvelous." Much like her son and granddaughter, Martha took liberties with Kate's rapidly growing belly and immediately spoke to the other two, albeit _non-visible, _family members in the room. "Looks like you two enjoyed the trip as well."

Rick knew exactly what his mother was implying and was grateful that she had addressed the babies, not his wife. Unfortunately Stan, the doorman, had not been as sensitive to the sometimes fragile hormones of an over-tired pregnant woman. Needless to say, his boisterous comment about how much Kate had _grown_ during their two weeks in Hawaii was not well received. Rick would be sure to have something delivered to him as an apology; maybe a gift card or a case of beer; on second thought, maybe both.

After wrestling their luggage into submission just inside the front door, Rick gladly greeted his mother in the same fashion, "Thanks for stopping by, I thought we would be home earlier. One flight delay I can understand, but two?"

"Not a problem dear. I had the delivery men put it in the study."

Before Kate could even ask what they were talking about Rick was tugging her coat from her shoulders. She was so used to wearing next to nothing that she had forgotten to shed the bulky garment. The late February weather in New York was a far cry from the tropical paradise they had been in just the day before.

"Kate, those jeans are just darling. I can't believe how many choices there are these days for expectant mothers."

"Mother, you don't wear jeans; not even back then."

Martha characteristically waved her hand in the air, "Maybe if there had been options like that I would have reconsidered."

"Did you ever consider it may be the _body_ inside the jeans that makes them look so great?" On his way to the front closet, having finally shred Kate of her coat, Rick took the opportunity that the current conversation provided to slowly slide his open hand across Kate's backside. She really did look fantastic in those jeans, not to mention the black cashmere sweater she wore with them. _'Why couldn't she see that?_'

"Now I really feel like a piece of meat." The corners of Kate's mouth curled upward and her cheeks reddened.

Rick had been victorious. He'd been trying to cheer her up since their encounter with Stan at the curb. She had even broken down in the elevator; he was surprised to hear her use words like 'huge' and 'cow' when referring to the current state of her body. He knew it was mostly a result of the fatigue that made her say those things but he still cringed as she said them. The long night of traveling and the time difference had combined to make for a very trying trip.

"Nonsense Dear, you could never be anything but absolutely gorgeous." Martha took Kate by the hand and they walked arm in arm to the living room.

Although his upbringing was unique and somewhat unorthodox; Martha had never been the typical mother, he wouldn't trade her for anything. In fact he found himself thanking God almost daily for her. She wasn't Johanna Beckett and was sure his wife would give anything to have her mother here to confide in, but at least she had Martha; the only woman in the small circle of people Kate trusted that had ever been pregnant, and subsequently the only one to have experienced childbirth. Kate never let on but he was sure she was in some way comforted knowing she had someone to turn to. He watched the two women for a few minutes. He loved that Kate willing accepted his mother's arm as she linked it in Kate's. He also loved how they sat next to each other and leaned their heads together slightly when they talked. It mirrored the way Kate and Alexis often sat for hours; like two conspirators conceiving nefarious ways to outwit the man in their lives. Fortunately yet also unfortunately, he was that man.

"I'm going to unpack the suitcases then fix us a little lunch. Are you staying Mother?"

"Sorry, I need to get going actually."

Rick said his goodbyes and hauled their luggage to the bedroom. Kate had insisted on washing everything before packing it back up. She knew they would both be tired and wouldn't want to tackle it after returning home. Rick would have been fine to just let it pile up in the laundry room until their next weekend off, but he didn't argue. After putting away all the clothes except for the contents of the extra bag purchased last minute to accommodate the baby clothes they bought, Rick lugged the empty cases to the storage closet in the utility room. On his way to the study he noticed his mother was indeed gone. He also caught a glimpse of Kate rummaging around in the kitchen. He didn't want her worrying about lunch so he just quickly pulled the study door shut.

"Here Babe, let me get it." He reached around her and pulled the box from the freezer.

Kate sighed, "Seriously, can you please refrain from using pet names that may in anyway refer to livestock or characters based on said livestock?"

"Sorry."

She let Rick retrieve and open the frozen pizza. It perturbed her a bit that he seemed to think she was incapable of doing anything beyond pre-heating the oven. However, it was a fight they had already had too many times in recent months, and would most likely have again in the near future. It just wasn't worth the hassle. If this was his way of carrying the weight for now; she needed to just go with it even if hurt sometimes. It would only be a matter of time until she would be the one trying to ease his burden. Even though he had done it with Alexis, and had done a damn good job, it was going to be a tough and tiring job taking care of two babies, day in and day out, especially with her schedule sometimes demanding that she be away for hours on end.

"What are you doing?" Rick was practically dissecting the frozen disc.

"I'm moving all the green peppers to my side."

Kate choked back the tears as she slipped up behind him. She wrapped her arms up under his; pulling him back so she could bury her face into his back. The petty resentment she had just been stewing over completely dissolved away. The simple act of saving her from yet another day of heartburn was enough to make her fall in love all over again. She nudged at him and he turned in her arms; he rested his forehead on hers. She had to say it, "I love you." There it was; that smile; his eyes all crinkled up. '_God I love that smile_.'

"It's just pizza." He tipped his head placing a sift kiss to her nose.

"We both know it's so much more than that."

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The long trip and the time change had them both completely screwed up. They had flown out of Hawaii the previous evening around seven. The whole trip should have taken a total of ten hours getting them home a little before noon local time. This would've left them the remainder of the day Sunday to catch up on some much needed sleep before heading back to work the next morning. However, due to unexpected mechanical issues and bad weather it was now closer four in the afternoon. He and Kate both preferred flying at night as opposed during the day. They usually had no trouble sleeping almost the whole way to their destination. This trip, however, had been different. Between the longer-than-expected layover and the extra turbulence due to the weather, Kate had barely slept a wink. So, he sent her off to get ready for bed while he cleaned up the lunch dishes.

Rick found her in the bathroom going through her bedtime ritual. She was wearing a pair of black boy shorts with a pink tank top. He couldn't help but be slightly thankful every time she wore non-maternity clothes to bed. He marveled at how the tight little shorts accentuated her exquisitely formed backside. And that tank top; it left absolutely nothing to the imagination. In fact, her newly abundant cleavage almost completely spilled over the top. Even better than both of those was the fact that neither garment even remotely managed to meet the other in the middle. Therefore her perfect belly was left completely exposed for his enjoyment.

"Do you have any idea how sexy that is?" He leaned against the countertop facing her; his hand on the small of her back. "Don't give me that look." He didn't like the insecure Kate that she had been much of the day.

She looked at herself in the mirror; he hoped she was trying to see what he saw. "What could possibly be sexy about any of this?"

She turned sideways displaying her expanding profile. Before she could turn back he spooned up behind her leaving one hand on the small of her back and resting the other on her exposed stomach. He is kissed her shoulder before resting his cheek there. He waited for her eyes to meet his in the mirror. "All of it. The way your body just does what it has to do to take care of them. Every day I notice something different. Today I noticed the slight sway in your lower back. It's like somehow your body knew that I so desperately desire to be a part of it all somehow, and it made a little space." He tickled her slightly in the spot he described, "See, a perfect fit."

Kate kissed his cheek but still managed to sneak in an eye roll before shrugging him loose. "Here if you so desire to be a part of it all then give me a hand why don't ya?" She tossed a plastic canister at him.

He read the label, "Udder cream, and I got in trouble for saying Babe?" He tried to hold in the laughter, but failed miserably.

She elbowed him in the ribs, "According to your mother it's the only thing that saved her from stretch marks. Apparently you and your big head didn't start out being so kind to the ladies."

He unscrewed the canister and scooped some white cream out with his fingers. He crinkled his nose up at the smell. "This doesn't smell like you?" He was practically whining.

"There's only room for two babies in this bathroom. Are you going to help or not?" She swiped her hand across the lotion on his and began rubbing her abdomen.

Rick couldn't help but giggle as he slid his hand up under that little pick tank top. When he saw her raised eyebrow his response was simple, "Hey, I'm a writer, I take everything literally."

**xxxxxxxxxx**

**I hope you all got the _Babe_ reference. If not I can explain...**


	15. Chapter 15

**Surprisingly, no one asked me what was in the study. Oh, and I guess Babe is more internationally known than I thought, so no explanation needed…**

**I'm not sure I'm too thrilled with the choice for the new Captain, but oh well, Andrew Marlowe knows best…**

**Don't own them because if I did I would have used my fame and fortune to buy an Emmy nod for Stana Katic. I so think she was snubbed…**

**xxxxxxxxxx**

She should have been asleep; her body was tired, exhausted even, yet there she was, wide awake. Rick was sound asleep behind her; his soft repetitive snore vibrating against her back, his breath tickling the tiny hairs on her neck. She was so comfortable, so warm; cocooned by her husband. His arms held her close to his chest, their legs tangled, his body matching hers curve-for-curve. Slumber should be so easily achieved yet somehow it eluded her.

Kate wasn't one to count sheep or drink warm milk. When it came to insomnia, only two remedies came to mind; sex and work. The first remedy had already been applied this evening, twice. The second wouldn't have been an option even if they hadn't just returned from a two week vacation; her modified duty status meant no taking work home. Not wanting to disturb him, but not able to just lay there any longer, Kate slowly slipped from Rick's embrace and scooted out of bed.

Considering the shorts and tank top she had put on before bed were, at this moment, in a pile on the bathroom floor, she silently pulled one of Rick's oversized t-shirts from the dresser drawer and slipped it over her head; she paired it with a set of his boxers. Kate preferred wearing his dress shirts, but right now the material would have proved binding around the middle. Pretty soon she wouldn't even be able to button them up.

Now, at least somewhat clothed she shuffled across the room toward the door. She hadn't glanced at the clock but with the current darkness she guessed it to be late evening; the moon not yet high enough in the sky to cast its soft glow into the room. Before she reached her destination her foot brushed against something on the floor. She reached down to find their only yet unpacked piece of luggage. She picked it up and carried it to the living room. With her feet resting on the coffee table, Kate flipped on the side table lamp and propped the relatively small suitcase on her lap. She began to unzip it.

Kate had never been the excitable type. She never sat up waiting for Santa Clause and his eight reindeer, she never laid in bed wide-eyed because the next day was her birthday and her parents had hinted at a huge surprise. It just wasn't in her nature to look forward. Katherine Beckett; the only child, the relative orphan, the cop, the betrayed; that Kate reflected, stewed, questioned and often regretted. Katherine Castle, however; the wife, the lover, the partner, the cherished; this Kate hoped, appreciated, wondered and for the first time since her mother's murder she dreamed. She dreamed of many more nights wrapped in the arms of Richard Castle. She dreamed of birthday parties and play dates. She dreamed of report cards and graduations. Sometimes she even dreamed of a red-headed bride and her love for the fumbling _father-of_.

Now sitting in relative darkness, listening to the buzz of the zipper as she opened the suitcase, Kate got truly excited, her mind leapt forward in time. She again began to imagine her babies. She pulled out sets of matching outfits; running her fingers over the soft cloth and smiling at the cute designs on each; the animals made her laugh, the suns and moons seemed so precious. She tried to picture the angelic faces that would soon be filling the garments. She imagined chubby little arms and legs complete with rolls of fat. She pictured four little feet, each with five perfect toes and how they would fill the adorable booties Rick had picked out. About halfway through the contents her fatigue began to takeover. She let the case fall from her lap and she curled up against the arm of the sofa. She hugged a set of yellow rompers to her chest and as the pull of sleep finally claimed her, for the first time in years, Kate hoped her imaginings would flow over into her dreams.

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Rick struggled to find his cell phone. He could hear it buzzing. Logic told him it was on his nightstand but he was so completely out of it that locating the device felt like an almost impossible task. "Hmmm," it was all the response he could muster.

"Hey Dad, did I wake you up?"

"Uh-huh," he nodded his head trying to lift the fog.

"Sorry, I guess it is kind of late there." Alexis sounded hesitant, "is Kate up?"

"Uh-uh," he answered immediately but then realized her side of the bed was empty. "Oh wait, maybe." He had already spoken to Alexis earlier in the day so now, between his missing wife and the unexpected call from his daughter, Rick was awake. "You okay pumpkin?" He checked the bathroom first, but found it empty.

"No big deal. Go back to sleep, we can talk about it tomorrow."

"Too late, I'm up and you know I'll just worry; might as well spill it." Rick was already out of the bedroom having seen the light coming from the living room. "Hey, I'm sending you a picture."

Rick snapped a quick shot of Kate curled up on the couch with baby clothes spread all around her. She had a couple items fisted against her chest and a few more lying over her abdomen. The suitcase was overturned on the floor and tiny socks and hats were scattered across the wood floor; he texted it to Alexis.

"Awww, she looks so adorable. Now I feel even worse," Alexis whined.

"Okay now you're really scaring me." He momentarily stopped picking up the clothes from the floor.

"I don't think I can come home for Jenny and Detective Ryan's wedding this weekend."

Now it was her father's turn to whine, "What, why not?" This weekend was to be Alexis's only trip home during her first semester of college. She had plans to go on vacation with Ashley and his family for spring break. Thankfully, with the babies due in early summer, Alexis had already made it very clear to her boyfriend that she would not be leaving New York for even a day this summer. "That means we won't see you until the end of April."

"I know I'm sorry; it's just…" He could hear the hesitation in her voice. "I have a Sociology paper due Monday…"

He interrupted her, "We have pens and paper here you know." His voice was pleading.

"I know, but…"

"We won't distract you; I can't promise we won't sit and stare, but no distracting, I promise." He was on his knees, not because he was begging; well he was begging, but he was also trying to reach the runaway baby bootie that had somehow found its way under the couch.

"Dad quit interrupting me!" He jumped at her raised voice and his head accidently bumped Kate's knee.

"Sorry," his single apology covered both sins; the interruption of his daughter and the startling of his wife. He rubbed Kate's hair from her eyes before pointing to the phone and mouthing '_Alexis.'_

"I'm sorry too, I didn't mean to snap, and if it was just me, I would gladly come home and write my paper while I'm there, but the professor assigned us partners. I can't work with her _and_ come home..." With all the clothes back in the suitcase, Rick sat next to Kate; she stretched her legs across his lap. The phone was now on speaker and Kate had picked up on the situation pretty quickly. They both waited for Alexis to finish. "…unless, I was wondering?"

"Yes"

Alexis squealed, "Really Kate? Thank you!"

Rick was thoroughly confused. Somewhere in the last the three seconds his daughter had asked for permission to do something and his wife had granted it. "Am I missing something?"

Kate ran her hand down his arm, "I'll fill you in. Hey Alexis, only if her parents agree; text your dad their number."

"I will and I can't wait to see you in person, I can't believe how big you've gotten. Good night!" Alexis hung up.

"Castle?"

Rick held his phone just out of her reach, "I couldn't help myself. You looked so cute. I only took the one, I promise. And don't _'Castle'_ me; what did I just agree to?"

"You just agreed to be the hero and pay for Alexis's friend to join her on her visit this weekend." Kate sat up and kissed his cheek sweetly, "You're the best dad."

"Nice try, I'm still not showing you." He held the phone even farther away, "And why did I just agree to that?"

"Because, it's her Sociology partner," Kate said as if that answer explained it all.

"And…"

Kate could see the lack of understanding on his face. "And, she's on scholarship and there would be no way she could afford to fly to New York for the weekend."

Rick dropped his arm; he was deflated. Before Kate could even react, he had her wrapped in his arms; his cheek rested against her belly. "Promise me you two won't grow up and abandon your old man like your big sister has."

Kate smacked the back of his head, "She hasn't abandoned you."

He didn't move, "Then how's come I didn't know about this girl?"

"She told me about Shelby a few weeks back, I think you were in Chicago."

"Aren't you just a fountain of information? You even know her name." Now he was pouting.

"Rick," Her voice was soft. "If you don't get off of me right now I'm going to be an all together different kind of fountain."

Rick jumped from the couch and cleared a path. He watched her run to the half bath near the front door. It amazed him that she wasn't in the bathroom more often considering the fact that she had two babies practically camped out on her bladder. The pictures on the internet had been pretty shocking. If he were in her situation he might've given up ingesting liquids all together. How Kate had actually doubled her water intake he would never know. "A mother's love."

"What?" He hadn't noticed her return.

"Nothing, just wondering if you were hungry?" The raised eyebrow said it all. "Rhetorical question, I know. How about you take this to the study," he handed her the suitcase, "and I will fix us something light. It's after midnight, how about an omelet?"

"Sounds good, but just cheese, I don't think I can handle the veggies right now."

Kate headed to the study. It wasn't until she had the door halfway open that she remembered what Martha had said earlier. Kate all but dropped the suitcase inside the door. She had no idea how he managed to do it again. Not only had he surprised her but what he surprised her with was absolute perfection. Kate made her way to the pieces of furniture that were not normal fixtures in their study. She circled them many times; studying the dark wood and the cream colored material. They weren't the typical bassinets one would think of. There was no lace or ruffles; they weren't the usual oval shaped beds sitting atop a frilly base. In fact it would be more fitting to call them cradles. The design could be considered both modern and retro with the clean lines of the crisscrossed legs at each end. The beds themselves were rectangle in shape with the four sides made of pleated cotton.

"You like?" Rick was leaning against the door frame looking very proud of himself.

"How?" The lump in her throat wouldn't allow for anything more, but with the way her cheeks were currently aching from the massive smile she was wearing; she was sure he could tell he had done well.

"I may not be a world famous detective, but when it comes to you, the clues aren't hard to catch." He crossed the room wrapping her up from behind. Kate rested her head against his cheek. She tried to replay that day in her mind.

_Rick was at the counter paying for all the baby clothes they had gotten carried away picking out. Kate was sure they could find similar items in New York and wouldn't have to worry about packing them for the flight home, but Rick insisted. While the clerk bagged up the loot, Kate just happened to wander toward the front window display. They had looked at a lot of bassinets already that day but the one in the window caught her eye. She didn't say anything to her husband knowing he would insist they purchase it right then. Instead she just made a mental note of the brand name so she could look it up online later._

Then it dawned on her. "I barely touched it." She remembered slightly running her fingers along the soft cotton, but it hadn't lasted more than a few seconds.

"It wasn't that you touched it, but _how_ you touched it."

"And just _how_ did I touch it?"

"The same way you touch me; the way you touch Alexis." He slid his hands over hers as she rested them on her belly, "The way you touch them."

The stood there together for what seemed like eternity yet also seemed like a blink of an eye. The two of them silent, but saying so much; four hands covering two hearts. Eventually realization hit her.

"Rick, did I miss something?" She cocked her head slightly.

"Hmm?" He clearly wasn't ready to leave the moment they were having.

"Why are there three of them?" She gestured to the three bassinets filling up the room. "One would probably be enough; two I understand, but three?"

"That's easy, one for our room; they'll be in with us for a few months. One for the study; I plan to write as much as I can while they're asleep. Lastly, one for your room; I figure your alone time might not always exclude them, so just in case."

Kate turned in his arms. She placed her hands on his chest. "I've been meaning to talk to you about that. I think we should turn that room into the nursery."

"I thought we decided on the guest room?"

Kate shook her head, "My room is bigger and with all the gear these two are going to accumulate it only makes sense."

"But…" Kate could see the worry in his eyes. He thought the room was her refuge; a place she could retreat when things became too overwhelming, when all the changes that had occurred over the last year just seemed like too much. But now it just felt wrong somehow. She already had a refuge, a retreat. "…it's your room, it's your stuff; your home away from home, or your home within your home, or whatever?"

Kate slid an arm around his waist. She stood on her tiptoes and placed a soft kiss to his lips before resting her free hand over his heart. "_Where thou art - that - is Home_."


	16. Chapter 16

**Sorry it's been so long since I updated. I don't think I have ever gone a week between chapters before. I could call it writer's block, but I would be lying. I have another obsession, Big Brother. With it being on three nights a week plus the three hour live feed on Showtime every night, I'm worn out. I need sleep!**

**I have to thank _Nathan Fan_ for cheering me up. I received a couple of, shall I say, negative reviews and she talked me from the ledge. Another thanks to _mangotano101_; I'm honored to have planted my first plot bunny.**

**Ok, I'm sure we all saw the trailer for S4 and the sneak peek at the first scene for Episode 401; both of which are amazing. However, I want to know what you all think the twist at the end of it will be. I think Castle will hide Montgomery's envelope from Beckett to protect her. Any ideas?**

**Short Chapter…**

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"Don't be nervous," Alexis nudged her friend's arm as they made their way to the front of the airport. "My parents are great, you'll love them."

It had taken a bit of convincing to get her timid classmate to agree to the trip to New York. Alexis was sure most of the hesitation was about the cost. Thank goodness Kate had managed to convince Shelby's parents that in all actuality they were doing the Castle family a favor. In no way were she and Rick going to miss out on an opportunity to have Alexis home for a visit if they could help it. Alexis also had to assume Shelby's naturally shy demeanor contributed to her nervousness.

"I'm sure I will. I think I'm more scared of the city than anything else."

"Oh, you'll love it too. Plus, we live in Manhattan." Alexis didn't want to seem like a braggart so she just had to hope Shelby had enough general knowledge of the country's largest city to know that parts of Manhattan were more affluent than the rest of the city, therefore it was also the safest of the five boroughs.

When Alexis initially learned she would be partnered with another student for the whole semester she was worried; she had always had trouble getting to know new people. She had been hurt a few times in her life by individuals pretending to be her friends when in actuality they were just enamored with her father's fame and money. However, she was ecstatic to discover that Shelby had absolutely no idea who Richard Castle was. In fact, being from a small farm town in Ohio, Shelby was the epitome of the term _sheltered_. Until her visit to Stanford the previous fall, the girl had never stayed away from home for more than a week and until then hadn't even been west of the Mississippi. Still, in order to help keep her antinomy, Alexis hadn't shared a whole lot about her family, yet. She knew this trip and the assignment given to them by their Sociology Professor would soon change that, but she was sure to hold out on some of the details until the last possible moment. Despite their differences they had become fast friends and were even considering rooming together in the fall.

"Dad!" Alexis ran the last twenty feet separating her from her father. She dropped the bag that had been weighing her down before jumping into his open arms.

Castle couldn't speak at first; he was so caught up in the feel of his little girl. He had missed her more than words could express; he just wanted to hold her. He finally let her go but only after planting a lingering kiss to her head. "Hey Pumpkin, I've missed you."

"I missed you too." She gave him another quick squeeze before turning to introduce her friend. "Dad, this is Shelby; Shelby, this is my Dad, Richard Castle."

He extended his hand, "Nice to meet you Shelby." He was surprised at how tall the young girl was but other than that she looked like the typical Midwestern girl.

"Nice to meet you too Mr. Castle."

Castle was already shaking his head, "Call me Rick or even Castle, but please no Mr.; it makes me feel like an old man."

"You sound like my dad," Shelby smiled meekly. "He was in his forties when I was born so he's always worried that his age will embarrass me somehow. I just tell him to be thankful he has me to keep him young at heart."

Rick looked at Alexis, "You were right kiddo; I like her already." Neither Castle let on, but neither missed the blush on Shelby's cheeks either. "Here, let me take those." Rick picked up Alexis's bag from the floor and removed Shelby's from her shoulder as they headed for the exit.

"Where's Kate; I thought she would be with you?"

"She's at work, we're going to run by and pick her up on our way to dinner."

Alexis gave her father a scolding look, "Dad, you promised."

Rick put his hands in the air as if to surrender, "It was Kate's idea, blame her. She figured you guys would be hungry after your flight. After that we'll make ourselves scarce so you two can work on your papers." He wagged his eyebrows a bit, "I'm sure Kate and I will have no trouble keeping ourselves occupied."

"Gross!" Alexis gave her friend an apologetic look, "Sorry, I should have warned you; my dad's native tongue is innuendo."

Castle winked at the once again blushing youngster. "Don't just take her word for it, my beautiful wife will gladly attest to the skills of my _native tongue_."

"Seriously Dad!" Alexis acted mortified and Shelby just laughed.

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Thirty minutes later the three of them climbed out of the SUV. Shelby's eyes grew wide as she looked to her friend for an explanation. "Why are we at a police station?"

Castle looked at Alexis, "Daughter, have you been keeping secrets?"

"I didn't want to scare her?" Alexis looked at Shelby hesitantly.

"Oh, you're going to be in so much trouble when I tell Kate you called her scary." Castle was practically giddy. He nudged Shelby and pretended to whisper, "The wrath of a Homicide Detective is one thing, but the wrath of a pregnant Homicide Detective is something different altogether."

Shelby paused in front of the open elevator but Alexis light heartedly pushed her forward, "He's just kidding; Kate is the antithesis of scary. It's just… her job can sometimes be intimidating to people."

Before anymore could be said the elevator doors opened; Ryan and Esposito were waiting to get on, "Yo, Little Castle." Esposito gave Alexis a quick hug as they switched places.

"Hey Alexis," Ryan patted her on the shoulder.

"Hi guys, good to see you." Alexis stood beside her dad as he held open the automatic doors. "Detective Ryan, tell Jenny thanks for accommodating an extra guest for the wedding."

"It's no problem; we ordered a couple extra meals just in case there were any last minute additions."

"Yeah, plus it's not like any food will go to waste with Kate around." Esposito extended his hand toward Castle who just released the door leaving the Detective hanging.

"Wise decision Mr. Castle, wise decision." Kate's voice cut through the hubbub of the busy bullpen.

"Kate!" Alexis ran to the break room entryway and greeted Kate in much the same way she had her father; only a little more gently.

Kate held her tight and ran her fingers through long strands of flaming red hair. "God I've missed you." She cupped Alexis's face in her hands, "Let me get a look at you."

"No way, let me get a look at you." The teen shook loose and leaned down to greet her siblings, "Hey there kiddos; you two sure have grown."

"Don't encourage them." Kate groaned before wrapping her arm around Alexis's shoulder; steering them toward her husband. "You must be Shelby."

"Oh yeah, Shelby this is my mom, Kate Beckett."

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"So, how long are you going to stew over it?" Kate knew exactly what her husband was insinuating, but still she ignored it. She tugged at his hand encouraging him to pick up the pace.

The four of them were walking toward Central Park. On the ride home from dinner Castle had managed to convince Alexis and Shelby, who were now about thirty feet ahead of he and Kate, to enjoy the evening. He reminded them that they would have the loft to themselves the next day, which was Friday, to get their papers written. Plus, it was obvious that Shelby really wanted to see Central Park but was weary of the danger. All it took was a quick reminder of Kate's occupation and the girl was convinced.

"That long huh?" He squeezed her hand slightly. Kate slowed until he was once again in step with her. She wrapped her arm around his waist and tucked her hand into the pocket of his heavy coat. The sun had set and the brisk winter air was considerably colder than it had been earlier in the day. "Cold?" He ran his hand up and down her arm hoping to generate some extra warmth for her.

"A little and I'm not stewing."

"Yeah right," he hugged her a bit tighter hoping it would convince her to talk about it.

"She's never done that before… She's called herself my kid or referred to us as her parents, but never that."

"And?"

Kate huffed a bit, "And… Is that all you've got for me? What good are you?"

"You of all people should know exactly how good I am." That earned him an elbow to the gut so he got serious, "I'm not sure what you want to hear on this one, Kate?" He felt more than heard her sigh of frustration.

"I'm not sure either." She motioned to a nearby bench.

They had reached the entrance to the park; Kate hated to admit it but the walk had taken its toll on her back. The girls were headed to the Ice Rink so Castle ran ahead to let them know they would catch up in awhile. Alexis suggested they meet at Serendipity's for ice cream. Before Kate knew it, Rick was seated beside her and immediately began rubbing her lower back. Her red wool coat was pretty thick but his strong hands managed to penetrate through the heavy material providing her with some relief.

"Can I tell you what I think?"

Kate rolled her eyes, "When have you ever needed my permission."

"I think you're both waiting…"

"Hmm?" With each knot he worked out she became more and more relaxed.

"You're waiting for her to ask and she's waiting for you to give permission, but mostly you're both waiting for me to be the one to suggest it." He finished the impromptu massage and pulled her into his side.

Kate closed her eyes; she listened to her husband's breathing. For someone that never seemed to shut up; he had become very adept at being quiet when she needed him to be. She thought about what he had just said. _'Was she waiting for Alexis to ask? Did Alexis really want to?' _She honestly wasn't sure. She couldn't love Alexis more than she already did; biological or not. Yes, she had already adopted her, so it was legal and Kate was way past worrying about Meredith's feelings on the subject. Yet for some reason it still felt off somehow, she just couldn't put her finger on it.

As if on cue Kate felt a tiny flutter in her belly; instinctively her hand covered the spot. There was no pain yet it startled her enough to scare Rick. "What, are you in pain?" He grabbed her by the shoulders and turned her to face him.

Kate had to laugh, "No, but if I was I'm sure the manhandling wouldn't of helped." She ran her thumb along his cheek, "You're adorable."

The look of fear on his face faded but didn't completely disappear. "Adorably worried." He stuck his bottom lip out and cocked his head.

"I can't be positive, but I think I just felt one of our children move for the first time."

Kate watched his face light up and felt her own shine just as brightly. Rick ran his hands over her belly, "Hey you two don't scare your Daddy like that; his ticker can't take it."

Kate loved the way he said it. It never ceased to amaze her; his ability to pour his entire soul into just two syllables. "Daddy," it wasn't even as loud as a whisper. She leaned in to rest her head in the crook of his next. "What does it feel like?"

What she was asking him to describe was beyond words, even for a world famous novelist. To hear it cross your child's lips for the first time…, _"The most important things are the hardest to say, because words diminish them." _He kissed her cheek, "Besides, I think you already know."


	17. Chapter 17

**Sorry it's been another week…**

**Just a fluffy little chapter, not much plot.**

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"Pretend I'm not here." Castle kicked the loft door closed behind himself and dropped an armful of shopping bags on the floor.

"You're home early, where's Kate?" Alexis and her houseguest were headed toward the study.

"She had to testify in court today; bor-ing," he practically sang the last word. "She should be home pretty soon. How's the homework coming?"

"Done! Just heading to the study to type it up," Alexis waved a handful of notebook paper in the air. "Do you mind if I use your laptop?" She stopped when he hesitated, "What?"

Castle rubbed his chin with feigned concern, "Just trying to remember if I downloaded that last set of pictures. I'm not sure Kate would appreciate you seeing her…"

"Oh my god, you have got to be kidding me!" Alexis was blushing for what must have been the hundredth time in the last twenty-four hours.

"Child, college has made you soft; you haven't been this easy since you were eight years old." He gave her slight nudge toward the study, "Go finish your paper. That way the rest of the weekend will be wide open for more torture."

Alexis gave her have her dad a stern look and then a quick hug. "Hey what are those?" Alexis pointed to the numerous shopping bags piled just inside the front door; each one displaying the same logo, _Shoegasm_.

Castle turned and quickly scooped them up. "These, my dear, are motive for murder."

"Murder? Whose?"

He winked at Shelby as he passed by Alexis on his way to his bedroom, "Mine of course."

"Dad, what did you do?"

Castle didn't stop, just tossed his response over his shoulder. "I have two words for you Pumpkin; Plausible Deniability."

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"I can type for awhile if you'd like."

Alexis looked up from the screen; she was already halfway through the ten or so handwritten pages. "It's okay; I don't want to subject you to my dad's laptop."

"Oh, I thought he was just kidding about the pictures."

Alexis laughed, "He was." She tilted the computer so her friend could see what she was referring to. Most of the letters were worn off, a few of the keys were cracked or broken and there was even one missing altogether. Even though her dad was a self proclaimed _techno-fascist_ he was also nostalgic and a little bit superstitious. This being the laptop that he had written all three Nikki Heat novels on; he was hesitant to replace it. Because of that, it didn't surprise Alexis that the letter_ k_ had gone first; with as many times as the words _Nikki_ and _Rook_ had had been typed. "He uses this to write his novels on."

Shelby turned to the bookshelf across the room that Alexis was nodding toward. It was a few seconds before she noticed the twenty or so colorful books with the name Richard Castle printed along the spine. "He wrote all of those?"

"Yep, best sellers everyone." The pride was evident in Alexis's voice.

"So he's famous, huh?"

"Relatively," Alexis returned to the task at hand.

Shelby briefly skimmed Castle's books as well as some of the many other ones filling the expansive shelving unit. She stopped to admire a few pictures; one of Alexis and an older redheaded woman on the beach but dressed in formal attire. There was one with the same older woman and a much younger Richard Castle; they were standing in front of a theater with a glowing marquee. The name of the movie was not visible but it starred someone named Martha Rogers. Finally she noticed the one of Alexis's parents; it couldn't have been too old because Kate was obviously pregnant. The couple was sitting arm-in-arm at a linen covered table with palm trees blowing in the background. "She really is stunning."

Alexis was just closing the laptop having finished typing their paper. She had made sure to email it to both herself and Shelby before joining the tall blonde across the room. She didn't recognize the picture Shelby was referring to so she figured it had to have been taken on their most recent trip to Hawaii. "Yeah, my dad calls her extraordinary."

"Why do you call him Dad and her Kate?"

Alexis was confused by the question, "What?"

"Yesterday at the police station; you introduced her as your mom but then you only call her Kate?"

Alexis tried to replay the previous day's encounter in her mind. _Had_ _she really called Kate her mom? Did Kate notice? _"She's actually my stepmom; well she adopted me when they got married so stepmom isn't exactly accurate either." _Why did it sound so complicated all of the sudden? _Alexis realized she had never actually had to explain it before.

"So where's your real mom?"

Alexis hesitated. _Kate is my real mom_; that's what she wanted to say, it's what her heart felt. Before she could answer Shelby was backtracking.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to pry. You don't have to tell me if you don't want to." She followed Alexis to the couch.

"No, it's okay. Meredith, she's an actress and lives in LA. She left my dad and me when I was pretty young." Alexis choked back some emotion, "In all the most important ways that make a mom a mom…" She looked to her friend to make sure she was following the logic, "In the short time that Kate's been in my life she's been more of those things than Meredith has ever been."

Shelby nodded, "So, how long have they been together?"

"Over three years now but only married for about five months."

Alexis didn't bother to explain that they had fought their feelings for more than two of those years. As far as she was concerned her father was done looking the day he met Detective Beckett and was pretty sure, if asked, Kate would say the same about herself. Alexis walked back over to the bookshelf and pulled down a photo album. She opened it and began telling Shelby about one of the best days of their lives.

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Rick was momentarily stopped in his tracks; his heart skipped a beat. He hadn't heard her come home, but there she was; her back to him with her elbows on the bar. She was flipping through a magazine; which one he couldn't tell. The way her short black blazer just met the top of the grey wool slacks as they hugged her hips perfectly was enough to do him in. He could hardly suppress the groan that threatened to escape the back of his throat as she shifted from one foot to the other; ankles cracking as she flexed and stretched the overworked joints.

"Castle!"

Kate's shout reverberated almost as loud as the smack to her backside had. She immediately dropped the magazine and began rubbing the offended area. Her movement allowed enough space between herself and the bar for Rick to squeeze in between. He kissed her cheek as if to apologize but she could tell he wasn't really sorry. If looks could kill they would have needed Lanie right about then. Her eyes narrowed as if she might scold him, but finally the thin line of her sealed lips gave her away; she was clearly fighting back a smile.

"Here, let me." Rick slid one hand over her hip and around to the back. He shooed her hand so he could rub the pain away. His other hand slipped to the side of her neck pulling her in for a soft kiss. "Forgiven?"

"Not yet," Kate fisted the front of his shirt; the ensuing kiss wasn't so soft. Out of breath she finally pulled back, "Pardoned, for now."

She pushed off Rick's chest and he watched her as she rounded the bar into the kitchen. She rummaged through the refrigerator; pulling out a bowl of strawberries. With a wink she hopped up on the counter and began eating.

"Wow, someone's in a good mood today." By the time he was done speaking he was in front of her; settling in between her knees.

"I spent the whole afternoon with Ryan; he must've rubbed off on me."

Rick tapped the bowl in her hand, "Speaking of, don't fill up. We have the rehearsal dinner in a couple of hours."

Kate placed a plump berry between her front teeth, "You want to share?"

Rick watched his wife's eyes darken; he made a mental note to thank the soon-to-be married Detective Ryan later. He leaned forward to take a bite of the proffered fruit, but it was gone before he could partake. Kate chewed deliberately; he could smell the sweet flavor on her breath as a one-note nasally laugh passed her lips.

"So not fair."

Her smile widened, "Giving up so easily?"

At the invitation, Rick's mouth was on hers. She was thankful for his strong arms at her back, in her current condition her core strength wasn't what it normally was and she would have surely crashed her head into the upper cabinets. She couldn't help but laugh as his searching tongue tickled the roof of her mouth. Kate's hands tugged at his hair forcing him to tilt his head so her tongue could penetrate deeper into his mouth. She wrapped her calves around his thighs with such force his knees buckled and banged into the lower cabinets. He moaned and she thought for a second that he might have been in pain, but the thought vanished as soon as he began nibbling down her neck. She dug her nails into the solid flesh of his back.

"Come on guys, get a room."

Kate opened her eyes to see two wide-eyed teenagers exiting the study. Rick stopped his exploration of her neck, but she kept her grip on him, holding him in place so he couldn't turn around. Kate had to assume he wouldn't want his daughter to see what she was now feeling against her distended belly. She figured distraction was her best option. "I'm not the writer in the family but I'm pretty sure the kitchen would be categorized as a room." She smiled at Alexis before asking her husband to confirm her theory, "What do you think Mr. Castle?"

Rick nodded and snickered against her shoulder, "Yes Detective I believe you are correct." His current state of arousal constricted his voice. He could only hope his daughter was still innocent enough to not connect the dots.

Alexis huffed and began stomping toward the stairs. She looked over at her parents who were now cheek-to-cheek watching her with amusement. She loved giving them a hard time but they were just darn cute. She tried not to smile back. "You know, _'t__o an adolescent, there is nothing in the world more embarrassing than a parent.'" _She knew her dad would be proud of her for that one.

Rick's jaw dropped, "No you didn't?" His little girl had just tried to beat them at their own game. No way would he let her have the last word. "Hey Kate, why is it that _'Children always assume the sexual lives of their parents come to a grinding halt at their conception?'_"

Defeated, Alexis just stuck her tongue out at them, "You two lovesick teenagers do what you want, just let us know when Gram gets here; she's taking us to dinner. Oh, and please wipe off the counter when you're done."

Kate waited until she heard Alexis's bedroom door shut, "We are so going to hell."

Rick leaned his forehead against Kate's. "Oooh, does that make you a Hell's Angel?"

"Okay, now you're embarrassing me." Kate gave him a quick peck on the cheek and scooted off the counter, "I need to go change."

A few minutes later, Rick had just finished putting away the bowl of strawberries when he heard it…

"Richard Alexander Rogers! What the hell did you do with my shoes?"


	18. Chapter 18

**I love it when my reviews lead me to write a chapter I totally didn't expect. You all, much like Castle, expected a quick funny conversation about the shoes. However, something else entirely happened when I began to type. Needless to say this chapter isn't actually about the shoes, while still being all about the shoes. Anyway, I blame Chezchuckles again, but her stories are just so fabulous and beautiful even if they are so much darker than what I write. Somehow the mood they put me in sometimes seeps over into my story. Don't worry though; my version of Rick and Kate will never have to walk on eggshells around each other….**

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"_I_ don't care about the consequences? Are you kidding me right now Kate? You're the queen of disregarding the consequences; the rest of the world be damned!" Rick struggled to maintain his composure.

"Don't you dare make this about me Castle; you did this!"

"That's right and I'd do it again because I knew I couldn't count on you to do it for yourself!" Rick ran his hands through his hair and paced the floor at the end of their bed. He had no idea how they had gotten to this moment. He had been prepared to take a bit of a tongue lashing about the shoes, maybe even a poke or two to the chest, but he hadn't anticipated a full blown war.

Over the last ten minutes, he had tried to remind her of all the things Dr. Candace told them at their most recent OB appointment. Having been disappointed to see Kate arrive in a very typical pair of Detective Beckett power heals, the good doctor reiterated the fact that despite Kate's excellent health, any twin pregnancy held higher risks than a singleton. Then the doctor proceeded to remind them about the strain the extra weight that carrying two babies would cause on his wife's body and how the change in her center of gravity would affect her lower back. The kicker for Rick however, had been the pamphlet explaining the hormones that were slowly loosening Kate's ligaments and how she might be prone to twisting her ankles or her knees which could lead to a bad sprain or worse, to a dangerous stumble or fall. He didn't care if he was overacting or not; even the slightest possibility that she or the babies could be at risk was too much for him.

Kate stormed out of the walk-in closet and sat on the side of the bed; her face was flushed presumably from the heated exchange they had been having. He could see that her rage was only intensifying as the fight ensued. "Do you really think I'm incapable of making good decisions on my own?" She was fuming by now.

"No, that's not what I think at all, I just meant…"

Kate interrupted him, "You know what Rick? I know exactly what you meant; '_I have always thought the actions of men the best interpreters of their thoughts.'_" Even from her lower position she stared him down like he was a perp under interrogation.

He too could play at that game,_ "'Strong reasons make strong actions.'' _Rick looked purposefully at his wife's belly as she slowly ran her fingertips along the underside of it; he needed to make her see that he was worried about the babies as much as he was about her. Suddenly her flared nostrils and her slow deep inhalations through them caught his attention, he instinctively lurched forward, his heart racing, "Kate!"

"Don't Castle!" She stopped him with a hand to his chest; not letting him touch her. "I can get through it without your help."

She narrowed her eyes practically daring him to ignore her wishes. He wanted to reach out; to cover her hand with his; to rub away the pain. Even in the heat of battle he was drawn to her like a moth to a flame, but the intensity of her stare told him he would come away with more than just singed wings this time. Defeated, dejected and utterly lost he turned and headed for the door. "I'll pull the car around front. You're shoes are in laundry room storage area; top shelf. Just please be careful on the step ladder."

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"What's up with you and Writer Boy tonight?" Lanie cocked an eyebrow at her friend's reflection.

Reapplying some light lip gloss, Kate tried to act nonchalant, "Nothing why?"

"Don't try to shovel your load of bull with me, girl. The two of you have barely said three words to each other all night."

"That's not true, we've said plenty."

Lanie closed her clutch and turned toward the Detective with a huff. "_Please pass the pepper _and_ May I please have some more butter _does not a conversation make." Lanie tapped her foot against the tiled bathroom floor, "What did he do?"

"If you must know, he did the one thing no man should ever do to a woman."

"Girl, I know very good and well Richard Castle would never lay a hand on you in anger. So, I'm anxious to hear what terrible infraction is on the top of your _Things Men Should Never Do _list."

Kate pointed to the little settee in the corner of the upscale women's room and they both took a seat. "He messed with my shoes Lanie."

The petite ME couldn't help but glance down at the pair of kitten heel Miz Mooz's Kate was wearing. She had been admiring them all evening; she loved the chocolate brown rounded toe and how it contrasted with the turquoise colored strap that fastened around both the heel and ankle. How Kate had found a pair to perfectly match the chocolate and turquoise wrap dress she was wearing seemed like an almost impossible feat to Lanie, and she considered herself an accomplished shopper. "I don't see a scuff or anything, what did he do to them?"

Kate was the one to huff this time. "I didn't say he messed them up, I said he messed with them. Meaning he bought me about twenty new pair." When Lanie shrugged indicating she still didn't get it, Kate continued, "All with little or no heels. Then he packed away all my old ones. Well all except for my athletic shoes and my slippers."

Lanie pointed at Kate's feet, "And are they all as nice as those?"

"God Lanie, you're missing the point?"

"Let me run through it again just to make sure I understand you." Lanie's voice lilted with a bit of sarcasm. "You're almost five months pregnant, with twins no less. You work full time in a tough job..."

Kate crossed her arms, "Not so tough right now since I'm playing second fiddle to your boyfriend."

"Third actually, you forgot Ryan." Lanie didn't skip a beat, "… and your sexy, adorable, charming, loving, patient and doting husband..." Lanie disapprovingly shook her head at the eye roll Kate threw out, "…went out and paid what I assume, considering his taste and wealth, had to have been a small fortune to make sure you were comfortable as well as stylish?" Lanie tapped her index finger to her chin a few times. "Yeah, I'm not seeing the problem here, except that I didn't snag him first, but I digress…"

"Fine, I get it, you agree with him?"

"Honey, agree with him on what? That your doctor gave you orders that you conveniently chose to disregard?" Lanie had gone from sarcastic to matter of fact and was now approaching stern over the course of the discussion. "It's not about agreeing with him. It's about loving you." Lanie placed her hand on Kate's knee, "All three of you."

Kate eyed the floor; she was unable to meet her friend's heavy gaze. "Damn it Lanie, it wasn't an order it was more of a suggestion, and it's just shoes." Despite her words it was clear Kate didn't have much fight left in her.

"Exactly, it's just shoes."

Lanie's words pierced like a knife and Kate knew her friend knew it. They sat in silence for another minute while Kate let the truth sink in. Finally she looked to Lanie sheepishly, "For a best friend you give terrible advice."

Lanie laughed, "_'In giving advice, seek to help, not please, your friend.'"_

"Now he's rubbing off on you."

Lanie hooked her arm in Kate's as they made their way out of the restroom. Before rejoining the large group of Jenny and Kevin's family and friends Lanie leaned in for one more question. "So, how bad was it?"

Kate knew she was referring to the fight, "It was pretty bad."

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Kate laid in bed staring at the clock on her nightstand; it was nearing midnight.

After having some sense knocked into her by her best friend, Kate had exited the bathroom with the intention of righting the wrong. She made sure to give her husband's shoulder a quick squeeze and she kissed his cheek before once again taking her seat next to him at the table. Normally that would be all the invitation he would need, but when their eyes met she was surprised to see his were still cloudy with sadness and even flashed with a hint of harbored anger. He did manage a slight smile as he took her hand into his lap, but he didn't caress the back of it like he normally would have. In fact, thinking about it now, his hand had felt heavy against hers.

They went through the rest of the motions required for the evening. She distracted Ryan's family, as planned, long enough for Rick, in true Castle style, to pay for the entire group's meal. She supported him when the groom's family tried to insist that it was too much; it was their responsibility to pay for the rehearsal dinner after all. Kate's heart even swelled a bit when Castle told Mr. and Mrs. Ryan that they weren't breaking tradition considering their son was part of a larger family than just the biological one with which he shared DNA. After that they drove home in silence. Rick having had a few more beers than normal asked Kate to drive. When they arrived upstairs to find Alexis and Shelby having a movie marathon, Kate was surprised when Rick volunteered to join them.

Two hours later he still hadn't come to bed and she hadn't slept wink. Lanie's question from earlier ran over and over in Kate's mind. How bad had the fight been? Obviously it had been one of the more heated ones she and Rick had ever gotten into. Like every other married couple they fought, but they usually resolved whatever the issue was pretty quickly. This fight, however, had been different; somehow she had wounded him in a way she hadn't known was possible. She had pushed him away and this time he seemed unwilling to find his way back to her; he always came back. She ran the conversation over and over in her head.

"God Kate, you're an idiot."

She was out of the bed before she finished the sentence. She could see the light from the TV as soon as she opened the bedroom door. Rick leaned sideways and put his bowl of popcorn on the end table and watched her as she approached. She didn't speak, just climbed into his lap; her knees settled on either side of his hips. She was grateful that the teenagers seemed to both be asleep on the floor at his feet. She wrapped her arms around his shoulders sliding one hand up the back of his neck to wind her fingers in his thick hair. She rested her chin on his shoulder.

"I can't get through it without out you. I'm so sorry I said that, I didn't mean it. I'll never not need you; I'll never not want you." Kate brushed her lips against his neck. "Please Rick? Come to bed, I can't sleep."

With her final admission his body slumped forward; he slid his arms around her waist. He wasn't yet ready to forgive her; it would take more than that to heal the wound her actions had caused, but knowing she wasn't getting the rest she needed far outweighed his need for an apology at the moment. He shifted to help her off his lap but was surprised when she just held on tighter. He was grateful when she dug the balls of her feet into the couch cushions to help counter some of her own weight as he stood. Once Rick managed to hoist them both from the low sitting piece of furniture, Kate wrapped her legs around his waist and allowed him to carry her.

Rick carried his wife often, mostly during frenzied sex or on the rare occasion that she might be sick or hurt. None of those things were the case this evening though; tonight Kate Beckett didn't need carrying, but she let him carry her anyway; this too was an apology.

He was halfway to their room when he heard Alexis stir behind them, "Kate… Dad…"

"Shhh Baby, we're fine; go back to sleep." Rick knew his wife was right; they were fine; they would always be fine. No matter the fight, no matter the angry words and hurt feelings; in the end they would always be okay.

He knew Alexis had noticed the tension between himself and Kate once they had returned home from their night out. She was his flesh and blood after all; she had inherited his keen observation skills. She hadn't said anything to him, not with her friend present, but he had noticed her watching him out of the corner of her eye as they watched TV. As little as a year ago he would have insisted on being the one to calm her fears; either with a hug or a joke, maybe even both. He wouldn't have trusted anyone else to do his job, but now he had Kate; they had Kate. She so willingly shared his burden; why was it so hard for her to let him share hers. In fact, why was there even a _his_ and _hers_ anymore; shouldn't it all be theirs?

Rick didn't remember entering their bedroom or laying Kate down on the bed, but there she was reaching for him; patting the mattress at her back. He climbed in spooning her slender body. She pulled his left arm under her left side and wrapped it purposefully around her chest; his hand cupped the mound of flesh just below her right breast. He didn't wait for any further instruction. His right hand gripped the sharp angle of her right hip and he possessively pulled her in tight before sliding his hand under her nightgown to palm her rounded abdomen. Rick held his wife often; they cuddled after sex, they fell asleep most nights tangled together, his arm draped her shoulders whenever they sat side-by-side, their hands mingled on long walks and long drives; but with Kate Beckett holding didn't mean possessing. But tonight she was his; his to hold, his to protect, his to possess; this too was an apology.

They remained in silence…

Rick waiting for her to give more; after all she was the one in charge; the one carrying his children, the one ultimately responsible for their well being. She was the one begrudgingly taking or summarily dismissing the things he had to offer.

Kate waiting for his forgiveness; after all she had taken back the words that had wounded him; had confessed to needing him always. She had practically surrendered to him in every way. What else could she do?

He broke the silence, "I'm not apologizing." Rick felt guilty saying it, but he meant it nonetheless. _"' True remorse is never just a regret over consequence; it is a regret over motive.' _I'm sorry that I caused a fight, but I will not apologize for wanting to protect our children." He didn't pause for her to respond, "And right now protecting them means protecting you, even from yourself." He felt the intake of air beneath him; the kind that precedes a rebuttal. He cut her off, "Please just give me this Kate."

Kate cuddled in closer to Rick's body; tucking her head under his chin. She wrapped his arm tighter around her chest and gripped his hand in hers. She knew he had expected her to put up more of a fight; to tell him she didn't need protected, but that wasn't exactly true. She had always needed a little protection from herself; she had always been her own worst enemy. She was willing to accept that as long as she was only hurting herself, but now she had more than just herself to think about. Rick was right; she answered the only way she knew how.

"How could I not? I've already given '_my whole heart for my whole life._'"


	19. Chapter 19

**The sap factor is pretty high in this one. Just another moment in time for our love birds. I hope the changes in momentum of my story aren't too distracting. Some chapters cover a big jump in time and some just mere minutes. I figured I owed it to the character of Ryan to make the wedding stuff last for a few chapters, this is just the first. **

**Again, I must thank Nathan Fan for the wonderful words after the last update. **

**Oh, and pardon my crudeness, but when Stana Katic tweeted me last week, I almost peed my pants…**

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"I think I'll catch the next one."

Kate winked at the handsome young man that had just offered her his elbow. She couldn't remember if he was Jenny's brother or cousin. She had briefly met him the previous evening at the rehearsal dinner but there were just so many of them. Kate remembered Detective Ryan once insinuating that Irish families tended to be large, but nothing had prepared her for the enormity of the Duffy-O'Malley clan. In a way she was grateful, a large family on the bride's side meant Jenny had plenty of women willing to be bridesmaids. Kate and Jenny had become close over the course of the last year and she would have gladly been in the wedding if asked, but admittedly she was relieved to hear that the bridal party had been filled with four family members and one friend; that friend being Lanie. Not that Lanie and Jenny were particularly closer than Jenny and Kate, but they did share the camaraderie of loving a special pair of Detectives.

Castle, on the other hand, was practically giddy at the prospect of being in their friends' wedding. For a man who had lived, what appeared to others, as a pretty extravagant lifestyle he could get excited about some of the simplest things. When they learned that other than Esposito, the groomsmen would consist of two of Ryan's brothers as well as two of Jenny's, Castle was a little disheartened. That changed the day the younger Detective took him aside and asked if he would speak before the ceremony while the bridal party prepared for their entrance. Of course Castle agreed and then was somehow also roped into helping with the ushering duties as well.

From her position at the back of the large sanctuary Kate watched her husband. He walked hunched slightly to his left, taking baby steps so as not to rush the elderly woman he was currently escorting her to a seat. Kate remembered her from the previous evening as well; she was Detective Ryan's great-grandmother. Having finally reached their destination, Castle helped the woman as she gingerly eased into the pew, then he leaned down and placed a gentle kiss to the back of her aged hand. Kate was too far a way to see for sure, but she assumed by the body language that the older woman was blushing. _'That man just oozes charm,' _Kate smiled and shook her head.

Castle turned in the aisle, when he had _volunteered_ to help with the ushering he had no idea what a task it would be. Jenny had insisted on a formal wedding. The guest list was just shy of four hundred, with only five groomsman plus himself to do all the ushering. It was still thirty minutes until the ceremony would actually start and he was pretty sure he had already walked a marathon amongst the labyrinth of aisles and pews in the gothic style sanctuary. He was halfway to the entrance before he noticed her; blushing the instant his toe snagged on the runner that had been rolled down the center aisle; he steadied himself with a hand to the back of the nearest pew. _'Stupid in love,' _he half heartedly scolded himself before continuing.

"Nice footwork Baryshnikov."

Rick extended his left elbow, _"'If thou remember'st not the slightest folly that ever love did make thee run into, thou hast not loved'"_

"Nice recovery."

Rick assumed his wife was referring to his rhetoric and not to his clumsiness. "Shakespeare trumps ballet any day."

Out of the corner of his eye he drank in the sight of her as they walked. She was a vision in a tri-colored cocktail length dress. Her bronze skin contrasted with the black material as it plunged into a deep V between her breasts before meeting the wide light grey sash that accentuated the baby belly draped in shimmering charcoal grey below. Her exquisitely toned legs seemed to go on for miles before coming to rest in a pair of sensibly-heeled black shoes trimmed ever so slightly in a grey snakeskin pattern. For a moment he was reminded of the first time he walked arm-in-arm with his statuesque Detective. As always, Rick _wore_ her with pride, but back then, in his cockiness he had foolishly thought of her as arm candy; an accoutrement to his playboy image. Now he considered himself the luckiest bastard on the planet. He was humbled with each glance, smile and touch she graced upon him. In fact, if he stopped and thought too long and hard about the fact that she was his forever, the gravity of it would surely crush him; in regards to the fact that she would soon bear his children; no words existed.

"It's not polite you know."

Kate recognized her husband's teasing tone even if she had no idea where the conversation was headed, "Enlighten me Miss Manners."

"Showing up at a wedding looking more beautiful than the bride."

"Beauty is in the eye of the beholder."

"Believe you me, I wish I could do more than just _beholder_ right about now." He ignored the sharp jab to his ribcage, but chided himself for not anticipating it considering her current position at his side. "You look ravishing."

They arrived at the pew reserved for him and Kate. Dutifully, Rick used his right hand to remove hers from his forearm. His free hand slipped to the small of her back as she crossed in front of him. He stopped her before she could turn to sit; his lips softly found hers. Their joined hands came to rest on her stomach and he ever-so-lightly grazed it with the pads of his fingers.

"Trying to get lucky tonight sir?"

Rick kissed her again; not caring that his lips only met teeth; her smile warmed his face, "A man can dream can't he?"

Kate rubbed the color from his lips; she rarely wore more than a tinted lip gloss but tonight was a special occasion. She let the digit linger against his mouth longer than required. She purposefully lowered her eyes to his parted lips; she could practically feel his baby blues as they followed the hazel of hers. "Play your cards right and your dreams just might come true."

"Bro, there's a line forming." Esposito shoved Rick's shoulder before pointing to the twenty or so guests filling the vestibule. Luckily Kate had moved to sit or the forward momentum of the hit may have knocked Rick into her.

"Hold that thought; duty calls."

Kate scooted a few feet down the pew; still smiling like an idiot. She rubbed her stomach gently hoping to calm the fluttering that had been a frequent occurrence over the last few days. "I know babies, he gets me all worked up too," she whispered.

Suddenly a cool hand gripped her arm, "How'd you get lucky enough for that kind of service?" Ryan's great-grandmother giggled next to her; she spoke with a thick Irish brogue.

Kate's chest flushed; she hadn't realized they had an audience; pretty stupid considering they were in a church full of people. Kate leaned in; she remembered from the night before that the tiny woman had trouble hearing. "I ask myself that exact question every day."

"You're my Kevin's boss."

Kate wasn't sure if it was a question or just a precursor to something more, "Yes, technically I'm his Senior Officer but really we're just two members of a four person team."

The woman held firm to Kate's arm, "I say a prayer each night for every one of my children, grandchildren and great-grandchildren; for Kevin I say two."

"I'm sure he appreciates that. It can be tough out there sometimes, but Ry… Kevin knows what he's doing. I'd trust him with my life." Kate didn't feel the need to tell her that she had already trusted him with it on many occasions.

"If you don't mind, I'll add you to my prayers as well." She slid her hand down Kate's arm and rested it on her belly. "You'll discover soon enough that you'll call on whatever power necessary when it comes to the safety of your children."

Before Kate could speak Mrs. Ryan was being beckoned from further down the pew. Kate was grateful for the distraction; she had become too choked up to respond. Kate's mind was flooded with a memory she hadn't thought about in years. Johanna Beckett wasn't a particularly religious person and Kate hadn't been raised in the church, but like most _good_ _Catholics_ the Beckett family did attend mass on the holidays; the last time being just a few short weeks before her mother's murder. The elder Beckett woman did, however, have a favorite verse. As a child Kate would recite it with her every night before bed; Kate realized now that it was her mother's own way of praying for protection for her only child. Kate closed her eyes and whispered the familiar words, _"'He will give his angels charge of you to guard you in all your ways. On their hands they will bear you up, lest you dash your foot against a stone.'" _She repeated it over and over in her head in an attempt to make up for all the nights it had yet to have been said for her own children.

Finally a familiar voice broke through the trance she had fallen into. Kate turned her attention to the man behind the pulpit. She was anxious to hear what her husband was going to say; he had refused to let her even peek at his notes.

Castle stood in front of the crowd. He had spoken in public too many times to count, but mostly to talk about himself or his novels. This was different and his nerves knew it. He took a few seconds to gather his thoughts; took a deep breath, but it was only after catching his wife's reassuring eye that he was ready to begin.

"First of all, I want to warn you all; I'm not sure it's safe to be me up here right now." Castle waited a beat, "Cause if anyone deserves a lightning bolt to the derrière it would be me." He was relieved to hear the rumble of laughter; he had hoped for a receptive crowd. "Before I begin I want to say, on behalf of my wife and myself, that we are privileged to work with Kevin day in and day out, and that through him we have come to know Jenny and consider them both family."

Castle opened his journal that he had laid on the pulpit. "That being said when Ryan, that's what we call him, when Ryan came to me and asked if I would say a few words before the ceremony I was a little taken aback. I asked him what exactly he wanted me to say. He just patted me on the back and said I would figure it out."

Castle looked pensive, "So, as a writer, I believe in research, research, research." Castle winked at Kate, "Just ask my lovely wife; she's been the subject of said belief for over three years now. Of course she'd probably use the term _victim_ instead of _subject._" He watched as she nodded slightly.

"Anyway, it wasn't hard to figure out the _why_ considering I've often been told that I love hearing the sound of my own voice. So then it was on to the hard part; _what to say_. _What do I know about marriage?_ That one took some thought considering I'm on my third one." He waited for the desired reaction from the crowd, "Yeah, I know what you're thinking; why would anyone ask a man with two failed marriages to speak at their wedding?" He held his hands up as if to surrender.

"I could take the easy way out and advise him on some of the obvious don'ts; don't leave the toilet seat up, don't forget to replace the roll if you use the last piece, don't put her bras in the dryer…" Everyone laughed, "I could go on and on, but considering I was trained properly and never ever did any of those things yet still ended up divorced twice, that seemed like useless advice."

Castle twisted his lips as if in deep thought, "So then I decided on the obvious do's; do hold the door for her, do tell her she looks good in that outfit, do tell her you love cuddling just as much…" he paused for effect, "well, you know…" The men in the crowd seemed to laugh a little louder than the women at that one. "Again, I could go on and on, but considering I also did every one of those things," he smiled, "I actually do love cuddling, but that's a story for another day." Again the crowd was laughing, "Yet I still ended up in divorce court."

Castle's face turned somber, "At that point I got a little concerned. I couldn't let my friend down but I was facing a serious case of writer's block. I couldn't even come up with one tangible piece of advice to offer him. I thought about asking my partner for help." Suddenly he was smiling like the Cheshire cat. "That's when it became clear; I realized the error in my thinking. Ryan didn't want me to tell him about the do's; didn't need me to warn him about the don'ts. It wasn't the experience of my failures that he was interested in hearing about." He shut the journal and addressed the crowd that was now riveted, "You see, for me third time's a charm. Not because I'm good at the do's; even though I know I am. Not because I never commit the don'ts, even though I don't. But because of one thing and one thing only…" Castle spoke to the crowd, but his words were meant for only one person in it, "Because _I_ was found by the right person." He watched as his wife dropped her head, he could see the flush of her cheeks even with the distance between them.

"So first, to Ryan and Jenny, I'm glad to see that you are both, like my dearest wife, smarter than me; you got it right the first time. And secondly, if you'll all indulge me," the smiles throughout the audience seemed to be offering permission, "to my extraordinary Kate, I'm more sorry than you'll ever know that you weren't my first, but I hope you know you're my always."

Castle nodded to the organist and the Wedding March began. He grabbed his journal and made his way to the open spot next to his wife. As they stood waiting for the bride to make her way down the aisle, Kate slipped her hand into his, stood on her tip toes and whispered in his ear, "Someone is _so _getting lucky tonight." She hoped he knew that someone was her.


	20. Chapter 20

**I know, a broken record here, but OMG, the reviews. I appreciate every one of them. Even the one that criticized the little game of Quotes my characters do; I didn't like it, but I still appreciate that you took the time to at least comment.**

**This is probably my shortest chapter ever, but I kind of wanted it to be a standalone Alexis/Kate chapter. For those of you hoping to see Ryan and Jenny's wedding, I promise, the next chapter is the reception, I hope that will suffice…**

**Don't own them but I am counting the days until I see them again…**

**xxxxxxxxxx **

"It feels good in here."

Kate nodded in agreement as Alexis quickly closed the door to their SUV. She was enjoying the warmth inside the idling vehicle. In fact, she was pretty sure she had been about ten seconds away from falling asleep when the teenager arrived. The light flurries of the afternoon had given way to a full blown snow storm in the last few hours or so. Realizing Alexis was alone, Kate asked, "Where's Shelby?" She was pretty sure she had seen the two girls together in the receiving line a few minutes earlier.

"She and Liam are riding to the reception with Gram and Grandpa Jim."

Kate's brow furrowed, "Liam?" She was mentally running names and faces in her mind, "Is Liam Jenny's brother or Ryan's cousin?"

Alexis laughed, "Both actually, but this particular Liam is Ryan's cousin."

"There are two Liam's? I thought there were two Patrick's." Kate's head hurt from trying to figure it out.

"You're right, there are two of them as well, but they're both on Jenny's side. Don't ask me how that happens."

It was Kate's turn to laugh, "So, Shelby and one of the Liam's huh? Are you okay with that?" Kate flipped the visor down so she could see Alexis's reflection. Normally she would just twist in her seat to converse with someone in the back, but in her current condition nothing worked like normal anymore.

"Oh yeah, it's fine. She was so hesitant about coming to New York, I'm just glad she's figured out that it isn't _all_ bad here." Alexis paused, "Besides…"

Kate could feel it coming; the talk her husband had hinted at. She closed her eyes and waited for what the youngster had to say. A part of her hoped she was wrong, she wasn't really in the mood for a heart-to-heart. In fact, if she had to name the hardest part of this 'family' thing it would be the talking. Kate had never been a talker; had always bottled things up. Yes, she knew it wasn't healthy, but it was her way; had always been her way. When Castle came along with his ever-constant jabbering she considered the ramifications of shooting him more than a few times just to get him to shut up; on a couple of occasions prison seemed a favorable alternative. Over time however, the bulk of their communication relied less on words and more on looks, gestures, glances and touches.

With Alexis it was different, conversation was her constant. Castle discussed everything with his daughter and so did her grandmother. Alexis needed words; needed to say words; needed to hear words to know all was right in her world. Loving Alexis meant understanding this about her, but understanding and liking are often two very different things. As far as Kate was concerned love didn't conquer all; love just put you in the ring; whether or not you stayed for the fight was up to you. But in the mood or not, Kate would always be willing to stay for the fight if it meant easing Alexis's mind. _'Ok, in a way maybe love does conquer all.'_

"I kind of wanted to talk to you alone for a sec."

"Sure sweetie, what's up?"

Alexis hesitated; she glanced around the backseat as if she had lost something, "What are we waiting for anyway, where's Dad?"

"He went to get Lanie and Esposito; they're riding over with us, I'm starving and they seem to be lollygagging." She really was starving and a starving Kate made for a cranky Kate.

"Oh, I didn't realize they were riding with you guys, I should've stayed with…"

"Alexis, there's plenty of room back there for the three of you!" Kate interrupted with a little more bite than intended. She was about to apologize when she heard Alexis whisper something under her breath; an action the girl rarely did, if ever. "What's that supposed to mean, 'for now'?" Kate purposefully softened her voice but her seriousness was evident in the tone.

"Nothing, never mind," Alexis crossed her arms defensively.

It took Kate a few seconds to decide if she should scold Alexis or comfort her. Should she punish the pouting adolescent or reassure to the jealous only-child suddenly scared about the prospect of no longer being the center of her father's world. Kate opted for the latter; Alexis rarely ever acted disrespectfully or petulantly so she deserved the benefit of the doubt on this one. "Alexis," Kate was talking even as she fought the blistery conditions to exit the front seat; she quickly climbed in the back.

"I'm sorry Kate, it's just..." Alexis shook her head; Kate couldn't help but wonder if she was trying to shake all the thoughts loose or hold them all at bay. Then it all came flying out. "School is so far away… It's my first time home... you, them getting so big… and Dad doesn't even seem to care that I'm..."

"Uh-uh, I'm not going to let you do that to him; it's not fair." Kate's stern voice was back but quickly became soothing again at the stunned looked on the teen's face. "Come here Sweetie," She pulled Alexis into an embrace.

"I know it seems like he's moving on without you, but it's just…" Kate couldn't quite verbalize it the way she wanted to, "You know the saying _'to everything there is a season'?_" She waited for Alexis to nod against her chest. "Well, right now is your season; your season to experience the world, to blossom, to figure out the what - the where - the who, that you want to be. It's your season to break away; to become an adult - an individual." She smoothed the questioning lines in Alexis's forehead with her thumb, "But it just so happens that it's also my season; my season to be a new wife, a new mother, a piece of a greater whole. If you think about it, I'm leaving behind the exact place that you're trying so hard to reach."

Kate wasn't sure if she was making any sense but she continued on anyway. "And right there between the two of us, trying to live in both worlds is your dad. Between a daughter asking him not to hold on so tight, but begging not to be replaced." Kate felt Alexis nod again; clearly the teen agreed with the description. "And a wife that asks him to believe in a forever that could be gone in an instant with the simple pull of a trigger or swipe of a blade." Alexis nuzzled in closer and Kate stroked her hair, "With all that we ask of him every day he only asks one thing in return; for us to love him back with just a fraction of the ferocity with which he loves us." She figured it was time to drive the point home, "You can be mad at me and maybe even indifferent to them." Kate placed both their hands on her belly. "But don't ever belittle _him_ by doubting the capacity of that man's love. Do you hear me?" She jostled Alexis slightly; she wanted a response.

Alexis raised her head; Kate was glad to see a smile even if it did conflict with the redness surrounding her bright blue eyes. "Damn you're getting good at these Mom talks."

"Oh, did you hear that kids? Your potty mouthed sister owes you a dollar; your daddy will be so proud." With their mutual laughter the tension melted away. "And about that other thing? I don't need to hear you say it to know you feel it; so let's just let it come naturally."

Before she could get a response Rick came barreling in next to her dropping large chunks of snow on them both. Seconds later Lanie was in the front passenger seat followed by Esposito behind the wheel, "Damn it's a mess out there."

Alexis straightened up and laughed; she smacked the Detective in front of her on the shoulder and held out her hand, "At this rate my siblings are going to be wealthier than my parents before they're even born."

Thankful for the distraction of Esposito begging Lanie for the dollar to pay his fine, Castle nudged his wife's thigh with his own. Kate knew what he was asking; she patted his knee and gave him a quick kiss on the chin before lifting his arm to wrap around her shoulders.

"Seriously people, starving pregnant lady." Kate whined.

"Gotcha boss," Esposito threw it in gear and fishtailed a bit before finally finding some traction.

Castle squeezed his wife closer, "Careful, precious cargo back here!"

"Bro? Too many chiefs not enough Indians."


	21. Chapter 21

**OK, so I must apologize to you all for the delay in posting. As _crowfall _so lovingly reminded me, it had been 11, now 12 days since my last post. I could make up some excuse about being busy or out of town with no access to the internet, but neither would be the truth. You see, I fully intended on continuing with Ryan's wedding weekend, but after three attempts, I realized it just wasn't going to happen. Everything seemed so redundant; just carbon copies of scenes from my last story. **

**I had to take a step back and consider this story and its need for forward momentum; not only in time but in character growth. This story is really an intimate look at our favorite couple and how they grow closer emotionally throughout this process of becoming parents.**

**I don't own anything, but I will take the blame for the short chapter.**

**xxxxxxxxxx **

At the sound of the crash, Castle was wide awake; halfway through his wife's string of expletives he was clambering across their bed. "Honey, what's..."

His breath caught in his throat at the sight of Kate's left hand covered in blood. Her bedside lamp was on its side; it cast an eerie shadow on the ceiling as it rocked back and forth having been upended. Her right hand gripped her right calf desperately clawing at her own flesh.

"Leg cramp... Water... Broke glass..."

Rick jammed his feet into his slippers, "don't move, let me." As he rounded the end of the bed he was surprised at just how broken the glass was. It had practically shattered into a million pieces. Every step he took crunched the tiny shards into the drenched hardwood, but he was too focused on the blood dripping steadily from her palm to care about scratching the floor. He wanted to take care of her hand, but with the way she was holding her leg the cramp seemed to be Kate's immediate concern. He reached past her; she was half sitting half standing with nowhere to go that wasn't covered in glass, he grabbed a pillow and removed its case in one motion. "Wrap your hand in that; give me your foot."

Kate did as he asked; she was powerless to do anything else. She had been having leg cramps for the last few evenings, hence the glass of water on the nightstand. Increasing her intake of fluids was supposed to help, but it hadn't yet. "Rick, please it hurts." She hated to beg but the pain was intense.

"Shh Babe, just relax and let me flex it."

Rick cupped her calf in his left hand and applied counter pressure against the ball of her foot with his right. He could feel the muscles clenching angrily in his palm. After a few seconds of constant flexing the stubborn knots began to ease and with them her breathing eased as well. Not until she stopped hissing through clenched teeth did he dare stop however.

"Manageable?" She nodded at his questioning. "Ok, let's get that hand taken care of."

Rick leaned forward and scooped her up; there was no way she could walk without getting cut to pieces. Once he reached the threshold of the bathroom he stepped out of his slippers; no sense dragging the shards in there. He sat her on the toilet lid and crossed the room to retrieve the first aid kit. Kate couldn't help but laugh when he knelt down in front of her wearing a miner's light strapped to his forehead.

"What is that?"

He smiled but went straight to work with a pair of tweezers; she had two large chunks of glass embedded in her palm. "Don't knock it; I've liberated many a splinter, piece of glass and even a raisin from various parts of a toddler's body with help from this little baby." He tapped the light with the tweezers. "Seriously, how in the world did you manage this?"

"I'm not really sure, I think I reached for the nightstand, grabbed the glass by accident and it broke in my hand; don't know my own strength I guess. Raisin?" She had to ask.

"Don't let that kid fool you. She wasn't always the picture of maturity and grace she is now." Rick wrinkled up his nose, "This might hurt."

He began to dig away at the wound but she barely noticed. She was too caught up in the story he continued to spin about a young Alexis and her tendency to stick things up her nose. Kate leaned forward and laid her cheek on her forearm that had been resting on his shoulder. Her eyes were transfixed on his mouth; her ears to his words. She could so clearly picture every scene in her mind's eye; he left no detail unpainted. She became so mesmerized that she didn't even notice the sting of the peroxide as he dabbed the cuts. When he stopped speaking long enough to blow on her palm, she lifted her other hand and began to trace his ear with her fingertips. Her mind traveled forward in time; she imagined years of skinned knees; a lifetime of hurt feelings and broken hearts all complete with a doting father healing wounds and kissing away the tears. How she had picked not only the perfect mate for herself, but also the perfect father for her children she would never know.

"Thank you," she was almost breathless.

"It's just a couple Band-Aids and you might want to look at them before you thank me."

Kate smiled at the three pink camouflage Band-Aids now adorning her hand, "Not what I was thanking you for but thank you for that too." Kate lifted her head and slid her arms around his broad shoulders, his hands naturally came to rest on her hips. She peppered his collarbone with a few soft kisses.

"I think I did a pretty good job of picking their Mommy too," he whispered softly before placing a soft kiss to her temple; his mindreading abilities still surprised her sometimes. "I'll go clean up the glass while you change." He pointed to the blood stains on her nightgown. "Oh and by the way, the words _'water'_ and _'broke' _are two of the most panic inducing words a soon-to-be father can ever hear." He placed his hand over his heart, "please, don't do that again, unless it's the real deal; you almost killed me."

He stepped out of the room and into his slippers. He once again left them at the threshold as he exited the bedroom to get a broom, some paper towels and trash bag. It only took him a few minutes to clean up the mess. He tossed his slippers in the trash bag along with the wet paper towels and other debris. When he returned with a fresh glass of water; in a plastic cup, Kate was already back in bed; she had changed into another nightgown; this one was thinner and shorter than the stained one currently soaking with the pillowcase in her sink. She was slowly rubbing her hands over her abdomen time and time again. He could hear her humming something to their babies but he couldn't make out the exact tune. The look of pure happiness on her face brought tears to his eyes. He leaned against the door frame and watched.

When she shot him a one-eyed glare he knew he'd been busted. "Leg still hurt?" Like he hadn't been watching her for the last five minutes.

"Mmmm, little bit," her eyes were closed again.

Rick climbed in the bed and pulled her legs into his lap. He began to massage her calf, but this time he also paid some attention to her ankle which seemed slightly swollen. "Did you twist this?" He kissed her anklebone so she wouldn't have to open her eyes.

"Uh-uh," she shook her head. "Another item on that long list of symptoms I mentioned."

He continued to knead out the knots. He traced each and every inch of defined muscle paying close attention for any telltale signs of pain or stiffness. He found himself more amazed everyday at his wife's willingness to allow her body to be taken over for the sake of their children. Kate took pride in her body; not just in the way she looked but in her strength, her agility. How many times had her survival depended on her ability to react quickly? With everyday that passed she lost a little more of her core strength. Yes, she was still more agile than most non-pregnant women, but she was by no means at her peak. Rick knew it was stupid, but in a way he felt guilty for doing that to her; for taking away that piece of her she held so dear. He placed a trail of kisses along her skin; small acts of contrition for the grievance he committed against her.

Kate reveled in the pleasure Rick's hands were providing; he worked out every knot; she was putty in his hands. She had to make a conscious effort not to moan in pleasure as he soothed every ache. She almost made a crack about him quitting the mystery novel gig and becoming a masseur, but even her mouth proved too relaxed to speak. That was until she felt his lips feather light on the inside of her knee. Similar to her husband's almost eerie ability to read her thoughts, Kate's was just as keen when it came to reading his. Granted she didn't have to display that skill often considering Rick's lack of filter usually had him spilling his guts all over the place. She knew immediately that these kisses weren't foreplay letting her know he was ready to have a go at her; they weren't even the kind that he normally used to simply say he loved her. As light as they were, Kate could tell these kisses were heavy laden with apologies. Without opening her eyes, she tugged at his arms forcing him to drop her leg and lay down beside her.

"Come here." Rick fell forward and rested his face just above her right breast burrowing into her hair. She couldn't decipher the sound he made; it could have been a sob or a laugh, either way it vibrated throughout her ribcage. "It's not like you drug me into your cave by my hair and impregnated me against my will; I participated too ya know, willingly I might add." She wrapped her arms around him tighter turning slightly tucking her distended belly into the shelter his body naturally created whenever he spooned up beside her. His fingers had already found their way underneath her nightgown; he ran them along the inside of her hip; tickling the sensitive skin as it stretched to accommodate her growing womb. "It's like they say, _'__When two hearts beat together, the third one is conceived_.' Well in our case the third and fourth."

"I hate that you're in pain," he mumbled.

"It was just a leg cramp you big baby." She squeezed his thigh between hers until he whimpered in pain. "Now we're even."

"What about tomorrow when something else cramps, or aches or swells?"

"Yeah, let's talk about tomorrow," Kate lifted his head with a finger to his chin. "You know, the day the Doctor is going to point to something on that fuzzy little screen that neither one of us is can figure out and tells us whether we're going to have two daughters, two sons or one of each." She paused to plant a needy kiss at the corner of his mouth. "Don't you think that moment, that brief second on time, will far outshine every Charlie horse, every backache and every swollen ankle I might have to endure?"

Kate couldn't help but gleam at the prospect of finally knowing the gender of their babies and just as she had hoped, reminding Rick that it was just a few short hours away seemed to pull him from his sour mood. His face switched from somber to ecstatic in mere seconds. He twirled a piece of her hair around his finger and his eyes lit up like they always did when he was about to say something totally inappropriate. "So what your telling me is..." he paused; switching to his best caveman voice, "Me. Done. Good."


	22. Chapter 22

**So so so so so so sorry for the delay. This time I actually was out of town; Cleveland was great, but you don't really care about that. I promise this is the last of the short chapters and long waits between them. I once again have a PC at home instead of just my tablet. I love my tablet, but what a pain it is to type on for any length of time. Plus Android Technology is just not so compatible with this site.**

**This chapter is EXTREMELY sappy, for the most part and a little dry and all medically (not sure that's a word; well it's a word, but I'm sure I'm using it wrong) for the rest.**

**I don't own them but in about ten days I will be the proud owner of the goofiest smile ever. I can't wait for RISE!**

**xxxxxxxxxx**

Dr. Candace flipped through Kate's chart reading the nurse's notes. After escorting the Castles to an exam room the nurse had taken Kate's vitals and both a urine and blood sample. "So Kate, overall how have you been feeling?"

"Pretty good actually."

Dr. Candace nodded, "Any specific concerns or questions before I examine you?"

When both parents shook their heads the doctor went to work. Kate gladly raised her shirt allowing access to her protruding stomach. Castle was overjoyed that Kate hadn't been asked to remove her clothing this time; apparently no pelvic exam would be required today. He watched intently as the doctor poked, prodded and measured his wife's belly. It surprised him at how non-gentle she was with it as compared to the way he and Kate always handled it, them, with kid gloves. He couldn't help but imagine his children sloshing around, helpless against the onslaught of the raging current. If she didn't stop soon his inner Cave Man was going to rear his ugly head again. He wasn't beyond dragging Kate out of there if it meant protecting her or his babies.

"I'm not really what you'd call a joiner." Kate's voice broke him from his imaginings; he had totally missed whatever the doctor had said to her.

"I get that, I really do but…" Dr. Candace paused; clearly she knew her patient well enough to know that trying to talk her into anything she wasn't comfortable with was futile. "Ok, if you won't do birthing classes please at least let me sign you up for one of our Maternity Ward tours, and I insist that you write up a birth plan."

Castle perked up when he heard the word write, "A birth plan?"

"It's kind of a guideline of what you both want the delivery to be; who you want in the room with you, what kind of meds you want us to offer, things like that. It gives me and the rest of the medical staff an idea of your expectations. Of course things don't always go as expected, but at least we'll have a general idea." The doctor made a note in Kate's chart, "I'll make sure you get a workbook when you checkout today. It also explains how to go about pre-registering with the hospital and some other info about what to expect after delivery." She put the chart down. "Okay, now down to the nitty-gritty. Overall things look good. Your fundal height measures quite a bit above average, but that's to be expected with twins and you _are _carrying extremely high."

That last sentence might as well of been spoken in Latin for all Castle understood of it, but Kate seemed to nod in understanding. He would ask her to clarify later. Right now he was more concerned with the word overall. Why hadn't she said _everything_ looks good? _Overall_ left room for something to not look good; for something to look bad. His stomach suddenly took up residence in his chest. He grabbed Kate's hand; she smiled at him unfazed by the _overall_. He cursed his writer's mind; the mind that could so easily get caught up on the difference between the use of one word as opposed to another.

"Two things concern me."

The corners of Kate's mouth fell and she gripped Rick's hand hard enough to make his fingertips turn white. She had wondered what the scared look on her husband's face just a second ago was about. _What had he heard that she hadn't? _Kate's heart pounded against her ribcage; the sudden spike in adrenaline sent the babies swirling in her womb. Her babies were moving; movement meant life.

Reassuringly the doctor patted Kate's knee, "Nothing too serious, I promise. The first is your blood pressure. It's still well within the normal range, but it seems to be creeping up with every visit. No need to worry about it just yet, we'll just monitor it for now." Dr. Candace reached down the table and lifted the cuff of Kate's jeans; examining her ankle. "Just call me if you experience any edema or headaches."

"Her ankles were slightly swollen last night."

She could hear the fear in Rick's voice but the doctor's easy smile and relaxed nature was putting Kate as ease. She rubbed her husband's arm hoping to calm his nerves as well. "Yeah, they tend to swell slightly throughout the day, but are back to normal by the morning."

"Yep, that's to be expected but anything significant or prolonged and you let me know right away. Okay, so how about fetal movement? I assume you've experienced that already?"

Kate snorted, "Yeah when don't I?"

"I take that to mean they're pretty active? When are they the least active?"

For Kate that was an easy one, "During the day and mostly at work."

"And the most?"

"The evenings for sure; as soon as I lay down to go to sleep it's like they're swimming laps in there. Don't even get me started on what they're doing while Rick and I are having sex…" Kate stopped; she couldn't believe she had just blurted that out. She had trouble even looking at Dr. Candace. "Sorry, that probably falls under the category of TMI, huh?"

"Not at all, those are the kind of details I like to hear."

As if on cue, Castle chimed in, "That sounded dirtier than you intended it to, didn't it?" Kate was glad for his lightened tone.

The doctor cleared her throat, "What I _meant _to say was that everything you just described is completely normal. Babies in the womb tend to do the opposite of what seems logical to us out here. They can be lulled to sleep by the everyday motions of walking around, riding in the car or even just the steady hum of an office environment. The moment everything stops they seem to get revved up and ready to go. Oh, and the endorphins released during sex are actually good for them, but don't be surprised if you feel a contraction or two after an orgasm; as long as they're not painful it's completely normal."

Uncomfortable with the conversation, Kate tried to get things back on track, "and the other concern?"

"Well, your weight gain is a little concerning; or lack thereof I should say." The doctor's tone turned a bit serious. "I know you Kate, so I'm inclined to believe vanity has nothing to do with it." She picked up the chart again; apparently to verify the numbers. "The average for a twin pregnancy at this stage is anywhere between twenty and thirty pounds; you have only gained around fifteen since your first appointment, and you were down a couple at that point because of the morning sickness. Not a huge deal, I'm sure the ultrasound will confirm, but the babies seem to be growing normally. I expect each one to be around a pound at this point, but from here on out they will be growing at a much more rapid pace. Gaining weight is pretty much the only thing they're focused on and they will suck up every bit of nutrients you have in your body to do it; they're kind of like parasites in that way."

"Seriously, I'm not sure how I can eat anymore than I do; seems like I'm eating three times more than I did before."

"What about exercise?" Dr. Candace questioned.

"I stopped the running and sparring like you said but I haven't really changed anything else." Kate was still spending about an hour a day in the precinct gym. It was one less hour she had to spend reviewing financials or watching security footage for whatever case she was currently _not_ the lead on. Kate knew that Rick had detailed her exercise regimen on their first OB visit and she watched as the doctor reviewed it.

"Yeah, I guess I forgot who I was dealing with when I told you that you could maintain your normal exercise routine." She jotted down a few more notes in the chart.

"Great way to start out Kate, starving your own children." She scolded herself and threw her head back against the exam table closing her eyes. She appreciated her husband's supportive hand on her shoulder, but couldn't help but feel guilty by his gesture of comfort. He trusted her to take care of his children and she was doing a bang-up job.

Dr. Candace laughed. "Actually if you're starving anyone you're starving yourself; your body protects them even to the detriment of itself, but seriously it's nothing as dramatic as that. You just need to dial it back a bit, rest is more important than exercise right now. Reduce your cardio to no more than thirty minutes three times a week at the most and maybe an additional thirty minutes of walking a day; if you get breathless then you're walking too briskly. Oh, and nothing that has you laying flat on your back. I'll give you a list of stretching exercises to help maintain some core strength, it should help reduce the back pain that is sure to be a bigger issue starting in the next month or so; plus it'll help prepare you for labor." She jotted some more notes in the chart, and then pulled the ultrasound machine next to the exam table. "Ok, last chance to back out; you're both sure you want to know the sex of the little bloodsuckers?"

There was no need to confer, she and Rick had already decided; they needed to know. There was no way they could wait four more months to find out. Plus it would make the decorating and the shopping much easier.

"More than sure."

Kate's smile was so wide it actually hurt her cheeks, but she couldn't help it. The realization hit her, this was one of those moments a person waits their entire life for; she had no idea when it had happened, but somewhere in the last few months it had become clear. As certain as she was meant to be a cop she was also meant to be a mother. As certain as she was meant to be Johanna Beckett's daughter she was also meant to be the mother of Johanna Beckett's grandchildren. As certain as she was meant to fight for justice in her mother's death she was also meant to honor the beautiful life her mother lived. These children were her mother's legacy just as much as any scholarship; more even. Yes her mother was a talented lawyer and a compassionate citizen, but more than both of those things she was a magnificent mother. In every hug, in every lecture, in every gift, in every punishment; Kate received every ounce of love her mother had to give, and until she met Richard Castle she had selfishly hoarded that love for fear it may run out if she shared it with anyone. But somehow, just by loving her, Rick had shown Kate that love like that doesn't run out, it only grows, it's limitless; it can't be consumed because true love is all consuming. Her mother had taught her how to _receive_ love; her husband had shown her how to _be_ loved. Now her children were showing her how _to_ love; unconditionally, uninhibitedly and completely unabashedly.

Rick was memorized; he had expected that. Had expected to go week in the knees, had expected his heart to leap and twist in his chest, had expected to feel so lightheaded he would once again plop down on that stool situated conveniently at Kate's side. What he hadn't expected was that it would be the look on her face that would do it to him. He had seen her truly happy before, or so he thought, but he had never seen the radiance he was witnessing at this moment. There had been the beautiful yet teary-eyed Kate that had said yes the day he proposed, then the peacefully stunning Kate that had said _'I do' _as he slipped a wedding ring on her finger and finally the glowing yet slightly pekid Kate that had held him while they listened to their children's heartbeats for the very first time. None of those Kate's, extraordinary though they may have been, held a candle to the Kate in front of him. He paused a second to imprint the moment in his mind's eye. Her green eyes sparkled with wonder, her smile wider than one could think humanly possible; there was no ticked jaw or concerned lip biting, just pure unadulterated happiness.

"I love you." He had to say it; had to follow it with a kiss; with three kisses, one for each of them.

"Ok you lovebirds." Dr. Candace interjected; she had been scanning Kate's belly and had apparently already determined the information they sought. The familiar yet rarely heard sound of two swiftly beating hearts filled the small room. She pointed to a spot on the black and white screen. "Mr. Castle, do you see that?"

Rick cocked his head slightly, blinked his eyes to be sure but still he saw nothing. She was pointing to the darkest spot on the screen. "Sorry Doc, I got nothing."

"Precisely," she winked at him. "If you had seen something then I'm pretty sure we'd be looking at your son, but since you didn't I think it's pretty safe to say that Baby A here is a girl." She quickly hit the keyboard a few times, "and that right there is her sister."

In that moment Katherine Beckett once again believed in magic.

**xxxxxxxxxx **

**I know, so sappy**

**Sorry to those of you that wanted boys or one of each, but again, this corresponds with my one shot, _Love Letters_. I can't very well change it up now…**


	23. Chapter 23

**Only a few more days; I'm not sure my heart can take it. I've never before wished for a weekend to be over before it has even begun, but why isn't it Monday already?**

**I'm beginning to think I should start a syrup business with all this sap… ugh!**

**Be advised: some jumping around in time on this one, so I kept it all in Kate's POV to help ease any confusion.**

**xxxxxxxxxx**

Kate watched Rick sleep; had been watching him for the last half hour. His head tilted downward slightly, his cheek buried into the pillow, a tiny bit of drool staining the soft maroon fabric of the pillowcase. He was so rarely this still; only in sleep, so she watched. It still amazed her that she could love someone so different from herself. They had pretty much experienced the exact same day, and while he was totally zonked; exhausted from riding the wave of excitement, here she was again; wide awake re-running every moment of it in her head.

"_Who are you and what've you done with my wife?"_

_Kate shook her face from his hand and jabbed him with her elbow. She had just finished rambling on about Strawberry Shortcake, Hello Kitty, My little Ponies and Barbie. "You know what I mean; it just kinda fills in the blanks."_

_Castle pulled her into his side offering a little more protection from the chilly March wind as it blew through Central Park. The weather had finally turned the corner and even though the temperature was a constant reminder that it wasn't yet spring, the daily appearance of the sun overhead was a promise that very soon the world would be renewed once again._

"_I'm kind of relieved," Kate was surprised to hear him say that, she turned on the park bench; needing to see his face. "Don't get me wrong, I would've been just as thrilled with boys, but I know what to do with girls." He laughed at Kate's eye roll. "Not what I meant and you know it."_

"_Did you know Alexis was a girl?" Kate laughed at herself, "Before I mean?"_

"_Yeah, but not until Meredith's Interior Designer started painting the nursery pink. She had known for a while I guess but hadn't bothered to share. Sucked a bit of the thrill out of it; the help knowing I was going to have a daughter before I did."_

_Kate fought back the hatred that bubbled in her stomach whenever the subject of Meredith came up. "I'm surprised she even cared enough to bother with a nursery." Changing the subject would have been a better move, but sometimes the subject of Alexis's 'mother' was like a train wreck; just so hard to turn away from._

"_Oh, but that was the fun part for her, that part required shopping." He sounded bitter._

"_I'm sorry." She leaned in and kissed his cheek._

"_It's okay; I got Alexis, that's what counts in the end."_

Just remembering that flash of hurt in Rick's eyes had Kate wanting to comfort him all over again. She ran her fingers along his jaw; the stubble was just beginning to poke its way through his soft skin. He twitched slightly but continued to sleep soundly.

_They had just sat down for an early lunch at a little country style restaurant they usually reserved for Sunday morning brunch, but thanks to the scolding from Dr. Candace, Kate was sure Rick had picked it in an attempt to start 'fattening' her up. She didn't need to be at work for another couple of hours; having taken a half day to accommodate the morning appointment. They spent a few minutes before the meal texting Lanie and the boys. _

**_Lanie: So, what's the verdict?_**

**_Kate: xx & xx_**

**_Lanie: Squeal! Two little shoppers… I'm so excited; congrats girl_**

_Kate showed her phone to her husband, he handed his to over to her. She read the most recent text. _

**_Castle: Two thumbs down gentleman!_**

_"So, they wanted boys huh?"_

_"Ha, that's funny." He gave a thumbs up sign, "boys." then he tucked his thumb in his fist, "girls. Get it?"_

Kate snorted but covered her mouth quickly. She hadn't admitted it at the time, but Ryan and Esposito's little code was kind of cute. Of course the way they tiptoed around her all the time like she was either going to break or explode drove her nuts. She just wanted them to treat her like they always had; how a couple fetuses had turned them into big babies she would never understand. Of course the time they spent avoiding her was time they spent bonding with Castle. The man-crushing had been over the top lately, but soon Castle wouldn't be there at all, so she let it slide most of the time.

"_But you got to name her?" _

_Having just left the restaurant, Kate was currently leading Castle along the sidewalk; a destination clearly decided upon. Something had brought their earlier conversation back to her mind. Thankfully Castle had no problem keeping up._

"_Yeah well, did you know if you aren't going to breastfeed they'll give you all the narcotics you want after childbirth? I'm pretty sure Meredith was comatose before Alexis soiled her first diaper. So when they asked me what we were naming her it just slipped out."_

_Even out of the corner of her eye Kate could see that there was more to the story. She knocked her hip into his as they rounded a corner. "What made you pick Alexis? Had you been thinking about it?"_

"_That was the first time I ever regretted changing my name." He hadn't answered her question, but he would get there. "I was holding this tiny creature; she was so fresh and brand spanking new. Suddenly I wanted roots, not just for her; for me too. I'd been nothing more than a vagabond my whole life; drug from one theater to the next; having to endure one stepfather after another. Then all of the sudden I was handed this life, this soul. She was a blank page and you know me with an empty sheet of paper. She needed a back-story; a better back-story than a mother that was about as deep as a fish bowl and a father that wasn't much more than a persona. She deserved better than that."_

_They had to cross a couple of busy intersections. He was quiet, piecing the tale together in his mind. She could tell he had never before put any of this into words. _

"_They say 'write what you know'… At that moment all I knew was that there was no way 'Richard Edgar Castle' had done anything to deserve the gift he had just been given." He continued talking, not realizing that they had stopped walking. "For some reason I felt like maybe 'Richard Alexander Rogers' was a little more deserving somehow, and Alexis just seemed a natural progression from Alexander. Stupid I know but I just wanted her to be connected to something." He rubbed his hand over his face, "Looking back it was probably more about me needing to feel connected to her, but hey." Apparently realizing that they were no longer on the move, he looked at Kate. "What?"_

Kate scooted closer to him in the bed; snuggling her face into his neck, she couldn't help but breathe in the familiar smell of him. It's what she had wanted to do on that sidewalk earlier. Listening to him describe his first few moments of fatherhood absolutely turned Kate's insides into mush. She selfishly wished he was awake; wished to feel the vibration of his voice against her cheek as it rumbled through his chest. He could say anything really, recite the alphabet, count to a hundred, a thousand; the content wouldn't have mattered.

"_I can't believe I've never been in this place!"_

"_I know right?" Kate handed him two more books. _

_How a famous writer with a serious fascination for all things literary had not been to the most unassuming bookstore in all of Manhattan was a mystery. Not to mention it had to be the closest one to the loft. She filled him in on her daily visits while he was in Chicago. Told him about reading the whole Superfudge series before taking suggestions from one of the employees. Since then she had read the entire The Boxcar Children series before moving on to Alice in Wonderland, Where the Wild Things Are, Peter Pan and James and the Giant Peach._

"_When?"_

"_Usually when you're writing. There's always a book or two in my nightstand."_

"_What are you getting today?" He had clearly noticed that none of the books he was carrying for her were fiction, much less aimed for a youthful audience._

_Kate led him up the stairs to the loft area overlooking the main floor of the store. She hadn't realized it was even there until her fourth or fifth visit. She liked to sit and watch the little kids in the play area below. There was a tiny stage complete with puppets of various literary characters._

"_Don't know yet, Jill doesn't come in for another ten minutes or so. She's a sweet kid; big fan of yours so don't ruin it." She shot him a look._

"S'creepy when you do it too y'know." Kate startled at the sudden sound of his sleepy voice. "Whya not asleep?"

"I got distracted by your nakedness." She chuckled into his neck.

"I am quite the vision." He slid his hand over her hip then down her thigh pulling her leg across his hip. "Sleep now."

"Can't," she rolled slightly allowing her belly to brush against his. "Synchronized swimming going on in there."

"Wish I could feel'em." He tapped his fingers along the side of her belly.

Kate caressed the side of his face that wasn't buried in the pillow. She scooted as close to him as she could; forehead against his collarbone, breasts smashed into his ribs, baby bump tickled by the thin trail of hair below his belly button; practically every inch of her body touched his. "Tell us a story, maybe it will settle them down."

"Are you calling me boring?" His voice vibrated through her; she shivered and every nerve in her body tingled.

"Never... comfortable, warm, safe but never-ever boring. "Tell them about their big sister; about her first steps." He had told her a long time ago about Alexis's first word and her first time riding a bike; she wanted to hear a new one.

"No way, Alexis walked at nine months: too much pressure for such little babies." Even in the dark; with both hers and his eyes closed she could tell he was smiling. Still as proud of his kid today as he was that day seventeen years ago. "How about we talk about their big sister's first boyfriend? Kind of a little parable, if you will."

Kate missed a breath; knowing his mind had traveled back in time to the same exact case that hers had? The vision of him in that stupid Steampunk outfit was one she would never forget. "If you must." She nipped at his chest; hoping to muffle the lustful moan the memory pulled from her.

Kate got lost in it; he spun the story as only Richard Castle could. The lilt in his voice as he described the innocence of the fair Alexis actually had her curling her toes. The baritone growl emitted whenever he spoke of the dastardly Ashley trying to steal his daughter's virtue caused her whole body to hum. Of course he somehow managed to make the semi Victorian/semi sci-fi outfit and gun seem a little more butch than they actually were, but his attempt at a turn of the century British accent quickly counteracted the exaggeration. She actually lost track of the story somewhere in the middle; Rick's knee planted firmly between her thighs and the slow drumming of his fingertips on her abdomen were too much of a distraction.

"Pay attention now girls." The change in rhythm of the tapping brought her out of the pleasurable haze. "Moral of the story is… actually there are two." He traced a number on her taught skin, "One: Never date a boy with a girl's name. It confuses Daddy too much, and a confused Daddy is never a good thing." He traced again, "Two: Making out on Daddy's couch might just get said girly-boy shot."

"Castle!" She meant to scold but the husky sound of it was more needful than reprimanding; she plugged on anyway, "You're scaring them."

"Ah girls, Mommy says story time is over; for you two anyway." His large hand encircled her wrist as he whispered, "You keep that up and this story time will quickly become x-rated."

Kate had no clue how long her thumb had been rubbing those circles on his skin. She loved that little spot; the one too low to be his abdomen, too high to be his thigh, yet not quite far enough around the side to be considered his hip either. "Oh sorry."

"I'm not."

He lined the pads of his fingers up with hers; pumped them lightly as if he was playing a trumpet or a clarinet maybe. He hummed softly, the tune matching the beat of his fingers; so much better than the alphabet would have ever been. Kate wrapped her leg tighter around his hip, she wasn't sure she had ever been this comfortable, pregnant or otherwise.

"They have more of a back-story than even I could have written." The serious Castle from the morning was back. "I want them to feel connected too. Not only to what they have, but to what they've lost. You're her legacy and they're yours."

She swallowed back the emotion; one thing she would _not_ miss about pregnancy, the quick jumps between emotions. "What'ya got in mind?"

"You can have their first names, whatever you want; you name it, or them I guess." He chuckled.

"Careful Mr. Writer Man, I've been told the pun is the lowest form of humor."

"Humor me will ya?"

"Oh god, just when I thought it couldn't get any worse." The kiss placed over his heart belied the sarcasm.

"I want one of them to have the middle name Katherine and the other Johanna. Please, just in case…" They both knew the end of that sentence. "It would give me something to hold on to if…"

He so needed to stop doing that; to stop implying. Her heart was a fist in her chest. "You'd have them to hold onto, wouldn't they be enough?"

"They would help, but nothing would ever be enough again." He dropped her hand and slid his arm around her shoulders. She could barely breathe; wasn't sure if it was the embrace or the words, probably the words. "Only this is enough, only you, only _always."_


	24. Chapter 24

**Rise was heartbreakingly beautiful. SPOILER ALERT for those who have not seen it: Did anyone else notice the Mr. Smith guy walk behind Castle in the hospital? He was dressed as a doctor; not sure what that was about?**

**Down to business: This chapter is fluffy, the next one will be filled with fun and fluff, but then prepare for a little bit of angst after that. Not too much, just enough to counteract the sugar overload.**

**Don't own them, if I did (SPOILER ALERT) they would never ever spend another summer apart**

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"I missed you."

"It's been like two hours, and you were following me the whole way." Kate rolled her eyes at his over exaggerated pout, "God Castle you're such a girl."

Rick grabbed her elbow and turned her to face him. "I think you may have two pieces of evidence that prove the exact opposite is true." He rubbed the entire circumference of her belly before pulling her sideways against his chest to place a kiss at her temple. His hand stopped dead-center; he traced her barely-there bellybutton with his thumb.

"I guess you got me there." Kate leaned into his embrace.

Jim Beckett watched his daughter approach through the window; her smile reminded him so much of his former wife's. It still surprised him a little every time he saw her; this happy Kate. The Kate that called him Daddy and embraced him with ferocity no longer fearing he might break simply from the weight of it. There was a time he thought he had lost her; that his addiction had pushed her too far. He had abandoned her; had left her alone in her grief. Yet somehow here she was, his little Katie.

"Katie!"

Jim had barely opened the door for his daughter and son-in-law before she shoved her way past him. He watched her run through the foyer and make a left down the hall. There were only two doors off that end of the hallway, the garage and a half bath. He shook his head as he turned back to greet Castle with a handshake.

"Babies using her bladder as a trampoline?"

"She said punching bag, but yeah."

Kate _danced_ around the small bathroom that hadn't changed much in the last thirty years. One or both of the babies had suddenly decided to camp out on her bladder; the same bladder she had been filling with water for the last two hours while driving from her vacation home in the Hamptons to her childhood home in West Chester.

"Seriously Kate, what idiot wears a belt when they're over five months pregnant with twins?"

She continued to verbally scold herself as she struggled with the buckle situated well below her waist, or where her waist used to be. She was practically whimpering with desperation by the time she finally succeeded in removing all the impeding garments. The whimpering gave way to a sigh of relief the second the pressure began to lesson. That's when she saw it, in the corner of the tiny room next to the pedestal sink. Suddenly her bladder wasn't the only part of her body expelling liquid. She shut her eyes; not trying to stop the tears, but to allow the memories to flow uninterrupted.

They came as flashes at first, as if on a silent film projector. She saw herself, barely two years old and already fighting her parents as they tried to lift her up to the sink; her need for independence already running so deep that, as a result every day held at least one tantrum. Then the projector seemed to stop, but the memories still came. She could practically smell the fresh sawdust as it fell to the floor in her dad's workshop out back. She wasn't allowed to help at such a young age but her parents did let her watch as he painstaking assembled the stepstool that would allow her to wash her hands or brush her teeth without help from anyone. She was sure, should she make a fist that her fingers would again stick together at the memory of helping her mother glue the letters K-A-T-H-E-R-I-N-E, one by one, across the stool's smooth top. Finally she heard a voice, her own ungrateful pre-adolescent voice arguing with her dad.

_"I'm not a baby anymore Dad. I've been tall enough to reach the sink since I was like five. I don't need that piece of junk anymore."_

_"You may regret that someday Katie."_

_"Not likely, but if you're so attached to it, knock yourself out."  
><em>  
>Kate hadn't thought of that stool in over twenty years, now here she was crying her eyes out over the very sink that had been the catalyst of its existence. She was so grateful her dad had the foresight she hadn't. He had saved it, not for Kate and not for himself, but for the possibility that someday there may be another stubbornly independent toddler refusing the help of a pair of doting parents. She let a few more tears escape; allowed them to rinse away the regret her dad had warned her would come.<p>

"Can I get you something to eat Rick, have you two had lunch?" Jim gestured toward the large living room to the right of the foyer.

"Kate should probably eat something. We had a little breakfast before we left the city this morning, but that was almost five hours ago."

Jim looked confused; his place was only about an hour from the loft, forty-five minutes on a clear Saturday morning like this. "It's not even noon yet, up and at it early today, huh?"

"Yeah, had to make a run out to our place in the Hamptons to pick something up."

Jim pointed out the window, "And you needed two vehicles for that?"

Castle shuffled his feet a bit; apparently Jim had seen them pull up, one after the other. "There's a reason for that, but I'm gonna let your lovely daughter explain it to you."

"Son, do you really want your children to hear their only grandfather get angry at their mommy?"

_'Shit!'_ Castle had always assumed Kate's interrogation face was something she inherited from her mother. He realized now that he was so very wrong. He hadn't squirmed this much since his boarding school days; he'd spent more time in the Headmaster's office than he actually had in class. One more tilt of his father-in-law's head had Castle spilling his guts.

He told Jim about the new silver Mercedes R Class he had been insistent on buying since the day they found out they were expecting twins. It had taken some convincing but once Kate thought about the logistics of getting around New York City via cabs and the subway with one baby let alone two, she caved. Of course she had at first insisted that they need not purchase a new SUV when they had a perfectly nice one sitting unused at their home away from home; the black Navigator that was now sitting in front of Jim's house right behind the Mercedes. Apparently thrift was also something she had gotten from him because at that point in the story Jim nodded his head as if to agree with his daughter's assessment. With a finger pointed in the air, Castle continued his harried explanation; if it had convinced Kate it should work on her patriarch. The three year old Lincoln was at the Hampton's house because it had proven too impractical for inner-city use. Its length made it hard to parallel park, its width made opening its doors without hitting the car next to it almost impossible, and last but not least, the black leather seats got so hot in the summer sun that they could easily burn an adult's exposed skin not to mention what it could do to the babies'.

At that point Jim softened, "I get it, but if I know my Katie there was a compromise to be had for her acquiescence."

"You know her too well."

"Before you explain what this has to do with me, I have one question. Why not just trade in the old one when you bought the new one, save some money?"

Castle had to laugh. He reached across the coffee table in a mock attempt to shake Jim's hand once again "Let me introduce myself, I'm Richard Castle." The joke fell on deaf ears; Castle's hand remained empty; another father-daughter trait, no tolerance of braggarts. Suddenly he wanted his wife at his side, _'how full was her bladder anyway?'_ It seemed like she had been in there for hours.

"Let me get this straight; because Richie Rich and The Unsinkable Molly Brown had a meeting of the minds, I'm inheriting a very nice, albeit way-too-big for a single man, vehicle? What if my pickup and I refuse to cooperate?"

"Drop the interrogation Dad, you know you want it." Kate playfully smacked her father's shoulder before gracing him with a hug and kiss on the cheek, "Hey Daddy."

Rick noticed the red around her eyes immediately; he knew she had been gone longer than required to simply relieve herself. He stood from the couch he had been sitting on as she crossed the room; taking her hand as they both sat. He squeezed slightly letting her know he noticed; she squeezed back letting him know she was okay.

"Jim, did you just compare my beautifully pregnant wife to the Titanic?" The tight line of Kate's lips as she tried not to snicker eased his concern.

"What? No way…" Jim was suddenly the one flustered, he looked to his daughter's expanded middle. It pleased Castle to finally have the upper hand in the conversation. "You know… Molly Brown, she fought against the excesses of the upper class? Get it...?"

Kate and Rick both broke into laughter. Watching someone squirm is so much better than doing the squirming.

"Actually Dad, we kind of have an ulterior motive. How can we pawn our daughters off on their grandpa if he doesn't have a vehicle big enough to carry them around in?"

They both waited for her admission to sink in. Jim's eyes widened, his smile widened even more. "Daughters? You found out?" He stood and crossed the room to embrace Kate. "I'm so happy for you Katie."

"Thanks Dad, we're pretty excited too." When she pulled back she saw the glint in his eye, "what?"

"Just wish your mom was here. I'm sure she would have had something beautiful and eloquent to say."

Kate snorted, "I'm pretty sure she'd say _'paybacks are a bitch.'_"

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"Kaaate, come on tell meeee!"

"I swear to god Castle, if these two inherit your whiney gene…"

"But you love me, whine and all." Rick fake pouted at her from the passenger seat.

"I do, but _'love is blind'_ not deaf."

Rick shifted in his seat, faced front and put on his best stoic expression. Kate was thankful for the silence but she immediately missed the warmth of his hand that had been resting on her thigh just a few seconds earlier. She glanced at him out of the corner of her eye, she was pretty sure he wasn't really mad but a tiny part of her still felt guilty.

"I'm sorry; I just want it to be a surprise." Kate's apology was meant to remind him that she had made the plans, for once. He was usually the one making the reservations, discovering a new favorite restaurant or surprising her with a sentimental story. "Come on Castle, love's not mute either." She squeezed his arm to get a reaction.

Before he could respond Kate was pulling into a long driveway, the entrance of which was flanked by two stone walls. On either side rolled acres of manicured evergreens and lush foliage. After a few curves in the road their destination came into view. Kate was thrilled to see the childlike wonder overtake his features.

"Seriously?" He smiled over at her and his hand once again found her leg. "Where are we?"

"It's called The Castle on the Hudson; it used to be called Carollcliffe and then Axe Castle if I remember correctly. It was built between 1897 and 1910 by a General Carroll. I don't know too much about him other than his father was a General in the Civil War. Now it's a hotel."

They parked and Rick took her hand and let her lead him. It was magnificent; completely built from stone and sprawling over quite a few acres. There was even a tower that had to be at least six stories high. He was amazed at how much Kate new about the place; almost as if she had been a tour guide here in a past life. He was about to ask her how she knew so much when he caught a glimpse of the fountain leading to the entrance of what he assumed was a restaurant. There was something familiar about it, but he couldn't quite put his finger on it. Before he could ask she was pulling at his collar.

She had pulled a tie out of her bag and begun to tie it around his neck. It had been difficult enough to convince him not to wear jeans this morning without giving away her secret, so she had just waited to see what he put on before grabbing the matching accessory. Equus, the restaurant within The Castle on the Hudson was pretty upscale. Kate would normally have worn a dress, but with having to drive to the Hamptons and then spending much of the afternoon at her dad's, a dress seemed impractical. She just had to hope her black straight legged slacks and cream colored cashmere sweater would suffice.

"What else ya got in that bag of tricks?" Rick tried to peek.

Kate slapped his hand, "That's for me to know and you to find out. Now stand still."

"Yes ma'am." Rick took advantage of Kate's close proximity and busy hands.

"Hey, paws off the merchandise." Finished with the tie she swatted at his hands on her hips.

"Name the price; it's worth every penny." He ignored her protests; sliding his hands around and down the swell of her backside.

Kate blushed; she knew there were other people making their way past them to the entrance but at the moment she really didn't care. "Dinner first; after that further negotiations can be arranged."

Less than an hour later they were finishing one of the most delicious meals either one of them had ever tasted. They had both decided to go all out and have the four course menu and were currently waiting on dessert. The large stone fireplace burning in the corner and the medieval candelabras lit overhead, all combined to create a very romantic atmosphere. With most of the windows being intricately stained glass pieces of art it was easy to forget that it was still light outside.

"Kate this place is amazing, and the play on words is quite the turn-on I might add. I assume you've been here before."

"Actually, this is where my dad proposed to my mom."

Rick could tell she was mulling over just how much she wanted to tell him; Kate always eased into these things. He took in her expression; her eyes held the usual sadness that appeared whenever she talked about her mom. However lately, along with the sorrow there was also a hint of a smile; Kate was beginning to remember the happy times with her mother more often than the emptiness without her. He took Kate's hand gently into his knowing she still needed encouragement.

She continued, "It was a big deal for him. They were just out of college, no money, but he wanted to do it up right. It was another five years before they came back; new careers, a house, all the normal things that seem to get in the way."

"Wait," Rick interrupted her; something had clicked. "Five years? I knew that fountain out front looked familiar for a reason."

Kate nodded and reached for her bag sitting on the chair to her right. She pulled out her baby book and handed it to him. He immediately found the page he was looking for. It was a Polaroid picture so the clarity left something to be desired, but nonetheless. Standing in front of the three-tiered fountain he had just seen an hour earlier was a smiling Johanna Beckett. She was about the same age Kate was now; the smile, the sparkle in her eyes were also the same. He and Kate had read it many times but Rick again read aloud the short handwritten note just below the picture.

_"A special place, a special night, a special announcement of a special life…" _ He leaned in to whisper in Kate's ear, "I love your mom." He kissed her cheek.

"Yeah, me too." It was barely a whisper as she shut the book and put it back in her bag. "Anyway, it kind of became their place. They had standing reservations for both their birthdays and their anniversary. As I got older they would bring me too; my tenth birthday, my sixteenth, graduation, before I left for Kiev and when I got back."

"How long has it been?" He regretted the question the instant he asked it. He saw the moisture in her eyes. "Kate…" He scooted his chair even closer to hers; he needed her in his arms as much as he was sure she needed to be in them.

"New Years Day 1999, she was gone eight days later."

"Speaking of eight days, it's exactly eight days till my birthday. Do you think they'd mind if I dressed up as a Court Jester?" He knew he had her when the corner of her mouth twitched; she was trying to fight off a smile.

"Are you a fool _because_ you were born on Aprils Fool's Day or were you born on that day because you're a fool?"

In mock contempt Rick released her, he waited as the waiter deposited Kate's Chocolate Castle Cake and his Chocolate Walnut Banana Bread Pudding on the table. Once again alone he answered, "The chicken or the egg my dear, the chicken or the egg."

After dinner they found themselves none too eager to leave just yet. Kate surprised him yet again by pulling out their new camera. Rick took a few pictures of the Castle; he insisted she pose next to one of the large marble lions that flanked the entrance to the hotel lobby. Of course he took some of Kate standing in the exact spot her mother had stood over thirty years ago before asking a young man walking by to take one of them together.

Until now the camera had mostly been used to document Kate's ever expanding waistline. Rick insisted that she pose at least once a week; of course she would always act reluctant and he would dutifully pretend to believe her reluctance with his usual begging and pleading. Neither one had ever commented on the fact that it was usually Kate that would stare longingly at the new images as she glued them to the pages of the baby books they were now creating for their daughters.

"Okay Rick, that's enough."

Kate took the camera and tucked it back into her bag. He had resorted to snapping pictures of the gravel walkway they had just traversed before taking a seat on the secluded bench in one of the many gardens of the estate. Despite the early hour and the sun overhead the air was chilly; Rick had already given her his suit jacket for warmth.

"Hey, I was practicing! You don't want blurry off-center pictures of our girls do you?"

"I've seen all the pictures you took of Alexis when she was a baby, you could publish them in a book they're so good."

"I'm a man of many talents." When Kate didn't respond with a jibe Rick pulled her to his side, "Pretty interesting don't you think?"

"Hmm?"

"That a _Castle _would play such an integral part of your parents' lives as well as yours? Albeit two entirely different kinds of Castles." His mind clicked again, "Maybe Johanna read my books because of my last name; wouldn't that be cool?"

Kate dropped her head; as usual her husband's gut instincts were right-on; there was a little more to the story, she hadn't told him everything. She could only hope her poker face was intact tonight and he wouldn't catch on.

"What, there's more isn't there? Come on Kate, tell me please…" He stopped and bit his lip; her arched eyebrow and flaring nostrils scared the hell out of him.

"What have I told you about the whining?" Her tone was harsh but she laid her head on his shoulder anyway as she spoke. "I'll tell you, but no talk of hocus-pocus or fate or any of that nonsense."

"I'm a mute remember." He imitated locking his lips and throwing away the key.

She took a long cleansing breath. "It was about a month before my mom's birthday; what would end up being her last. She found out she was going to have to be out of town on business for awhile; the first time in over twenty-five years she and my dad wouldn't be celebrating together. Anyway, my dad was a bit of a romantic; he wanted to do something to honor their tradition. You know, buy her some little trinket from the gift shop here and send it to her."

"A man after my own heart… ugh!" He underestimated the proximity of her elbow to his ribs.

"Shut it Castle!"

"Consider it shut."

"So, he was in the gift shop and noticed an article posted in the window. The Castle on the Hudson had been featured in a book; one of those large coffee table things. It was full of aerial shots of some of the world's most famous Castles. The author…"

"Ahem," Rick cleared his throat to remind her that the creator of a book with more photos than words was not an author.

"Sorry, the _photographer_…"

"Thank you."

"…was named Hail or something."

"He didn't?"

"He did," Kate could tell by the quickening of Rick's pulse against her cheek, that he had pieced the story together.

"Let me guess, this was still a few years before the internet took off and, no offense, but Jim Beckett isn't the most techno-savvy guy around."

"None taken," so much for him being mute, but Kate didn't care. She always liked to hear him tell a story more than she liked to tell one.

"So he what, finds a catalog or a book distributer calls the customer service number; he tries to explain the book he's looking for? Like most men he didn't write anything down; the accurate title or the author's, I mean photographer's name."

"Something like that I'm sure." Kate closed her eyes and listened to him string the pieces together.

"I can see how that could happen; a book about _castles_ written by some guy named _Hail_ and a book titled In a _Hail_ of Bullets written by some guy named _Castle_. What I don't get is why he still sent it to her even after realizing it wasn't the right thing."

"That's an easy one. He had it delivered directly to her, he never saw it." Kate's one-note laugh sang through the cool air, "I would have loved to have seen her face when she opened it."

"She had to have been thoroughly confused."

Kate didn't respond immediately, she hoped he would fill in the silence; prayed he would fill in the silence. The tears were threatening to flow. "It was the last book she ever read."

"And you don't believe in fate?"

"Richard Castle, you promised." She choked out the words, half crying - half laughing. She wiped her eyes as she lifted her head to glare at him. _"Fate is for those too weak to determine their own destiny."_

"Well than I'm a weakling because _'Meeting you was fate, becoming your friend was a choice, falling in love with you was beyond my control._'"

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**Just an FYI, I am going to go back and change the new Captain's name to Gates. I didn't want to confuse all of you that have been with me since the beginning of this story so I figured a heads up would be nice. For those of you just joining me, you may have no clue what I'm talking about. Sorry….**


	25. Chapter 25

**Okay, forget the fluff chapter I mentioned. It will come later. I just didn't feel very fluffy after this weekend's drama. I'm seriously disappointed in some of the Castle's fandom right now.**

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"Detective Beckett," Captain Gates' voice cut through the air, "my office."

Beckett dropped the pen she was currently using to complete yet another report. She could see Detectives Ryan and Esposito watching her questioningly; they looked scared. Their hard-nosed leader had that effect on everyone, well almost everyone; Beckett despised her too much to be afraid of her.

"Don't ask me?" She shrugged at the boys as she rose from her chair. She glanced at the man sitting in the chair next to her desk, "Wish me luck?" When all her husband offered was a half smile and a curt nod of the head she huffed, "I guess not then."

As she turned she felt Rick's hand on her wrist, "Always Kate, you know that."

She looked back briefly; immediately realizing her mistake. If she hadn't looked back she could pretend he wasn't still mad at her; could ignore the tension that had settled between them over the last two weeks. It had started pretty much like this; she had been called into the Captain's office.

"_I just got off the phone with the chief of D's." The Captain looked perturbed, as usual. "Seems they feel that I'm wasting a valuable resource." _

"_And what might that be… Sir?" Beckett had trouble maintaining a respectful tone._

"_You, of course. I'm pretty sure I don't have to remind you about them keeping score. So you're being reassigned."_

"_Reassigned?"_

"_It's just temporary. Vice is looking to raid a drug trafficking ring. They had an undercover officer infiltrate the ranks of some biker gang. Guess he's been under for awhile now; gathered enough evidence to hopefully bring down the whole thing."_

_Beckett knew how Vice worked; she had done a few undercover stints for them while she was still in uniform. It usually required that she wear something very sleazy and hang out on some street corners that even scared the crap out of her._

"_Um… they do realize I'm pregnant right?" She instinctively touched her abdomen._

"_Of course, they've requested you for your interrogation skills not your waistline; this time anyway."_

_Beckett tried to ignore the contemptuous tone. She really didn't care that her superior seemed to hate her; the feeling was mutual. She took the file she was being handed and listened to her orders. _

_Apparently the raid was taking place as they spoke. Vice anticipated the arrests of at least thirty gang members. Of those, quite a few were suspected to be high enough in the ranks to have information pertaining to their ultimate target, the supplier. They were hoping that Beckett would be able to glean the name out of them. Apparently the Chief of D's felt that an attractive, albeit very pregnant, woman would have more success than the tough-edged members of the Vice squad._

_Needless to say the news had gone over like a lead balloon with Castle. The idea of his wife being anywhere near these types of criminals scared him to death. _

"_What do you want me to do, Castle? It's not like I don't interrogate murder suspects every day."_

"_These guys are different Kate." They were having this argument in the break room; away from prying ears. "They won't think twice about hurting… a cop." He ran his fingers through his hair, "You should've said no."_

"_It's my job Rick."_

_Before he could respond there was a raucous from the bullpen; apparently her suspects had arrived. He could see them being brought in one by one; he watched through the blinds over his wife's shoulder. They were huge; every last one of them at least six-feet-something with the muscles to match. There were piercings and tattoos; too many to count. But it was the filth coming out of their mouths that had Rick blocking his wife's exit from the room. Her back was against the wall, a cup of tea in her hand. He placed his right palm against the drywall to the left of her shoulder; his left hand rested on her belly. _

_She couldn't meet his eyes; they both listened to the cat-calls and vulgar innuendo that seemed to fly so easily from each man's mouth. Castle could see that the only two women currently in the bullpen were Karpowski and Velazquez, and no offense to either of them, but they were no Kate Beckett. His stomach actually turned at the mere thought of what she would have to endure._

_The next week had been absolute hell. Castle wasn't allowed in the interview room, his pretty-boy looks, Gates' words, would be a distraction. So he watched and listened from the observation room as man after disgusting man ogled her. The creative ways in which they expressed their desire to get her alone had him one step away from breaking the glass and ripping their tongues out. Of course only after he stabbed their eyes out with his pen so they couldn't look at her anymore._

_The first few nights they fought about it constantly. He would beg her to ask to be taken off the case; she would accuse him of being more of a Neanderthal than the gang members she was questioning. In the midst of it all they tried to celebrate Rick's birthday and their first Easter as a married couple, but the tension was still there under the surface. It only got worse when Kate's twenty-four week check-up revealed yet another slight increase in her blood pleasure. Rick was livid, she was distracted and that distraction almost had dire consequences. _

_It was on the seventh day of interrogations. Vice had peddled almost every one of the now forty arrested gang members through Beckett's interview room. Somehow she had practically reduced ten of them to tears; had gotten pertinent information leading to the arrests of additional gang members from at least twenty and had even tricked a few of the minor players into implicating themselves in various other unrelated felonies._

"_This is the last one, I promise." _

_It wasn't twenty minutes later that Kate was in the restroom trying to calm the shaking while Castle was being restrained by Ryan and Esposito. She hadn't even seen it coming; she thought she was in total control. _

_The gang's top dog, Vance Scranton, was proving to be a tougher nut to crack than the rest of his crew. Vice was sure he was the ringleader, but had nothing on him other than the statements of a few of the other bikers. With zero corroborating evidence they needed a confession. Beckett listened to the same innuendo; apparently being the leader didn't make him more creative in that respect. She laughed while he offered her a 'better ride' than her baby-daddy could ever dream of giving her, she scoffed at his meager attempts to insinuate that her unborn children were bastards and even physically jabbed him in the chest from across the table a few times. For a second she thought she had him; thought she had pushed him just far enough. When what she had actually done was push him over the edge. _

_Before she knew it the table separating the Detective from the criminal was on the move. Somehow Scranton had managed enough forward momentum, even in shackles, to shove the piece of industrial style furniture towards her. Luckily being somewhere between a seated and a standing position allowed her to react quick enough to bear the force of the attacking metal with her hip. Had she been seated she surely would have been hit directly across the abdomen, had she been standing erect the blow would have knocked her off her feet. _

_The seconds that followed were a blur. The uniformed officers that had been stationed in the room restrained Scranton; Castle had busted into the room like a runaway freight train. She remembered enough to know that he checked on her first; she assured him she was fine. However, when Scranton snickered and called him the Sperm Donor all hell broke loose again._

"Bring your _Partner_."

The Captain's voice brought Kate back to the present. She heard Castle gasp behind her; never in the five months that '_Iron Gates' _had been in charge of the twelfth had she allowed him to join Beckett or the boys in her office.

"Maybe she wants an autograph?"

"Shut up Castle, you're in enough trouble."

Castle obeyed. Apparently trying to beat the pulp out of a suspect was frowned upon by the NYPD. Even if said suspect had just assaulted a police officer. He actually hadn't had enough time to inflict as much damage to Vance Scranton as he had wanted to. Ryan and Esposito had pulled him off of the smug biker before he landed more than a few punches. Nonetheless the whole escapade had put him on the Captain's shit list. Well, farther up the list than he already was.

The Captain spoke as she shut the door to her office. "I just got word from the DA. Looks like Vance Scranton was sprung a few days ago." She held her hand up to stop any protestations, "they just don't have enough evidence to make anything stick."

Castle was on his feet. "What about assaulting a police officer? Doesn't that get him a few years, at least?"

"Need I remind you Mr. Castle you got in a few good licks of your own? Oh wait, that was only after your partner here provoked Mr. Scranton. We're lucky he's not filing police brutality charges against the force and assault charges against you."

Kate grabbed Castle's forearm; silencing him before he could make things worse. "So, why are you telling us this? Now that it's in the DA's hands I'm done with the case remember?"

Gates' expression softened, "It seems that some of the other Detectives on the case have reported _incidents_ since Scranton's release."

Kate's heart skipped a beat, "What kind of incidents?" She knew Rick had heard the slight waiver in her voice; there was no way he would have missed it. She could feel him staring at her from his position to her right.

"Nothing too serious," Gates flipped through a few files. "Looks like a few reported being followed by some bikers, a couple others claim their wives were approached..."

"Nothing serious!" Castle was on his feet again.

"Mr. Castle, may I remind you…"

Kate interjected, "Not necessary Sir." She pulled Castle to her side before steering him towards the door.

"Another minute Detective?" Beckett stood in the doorway and turned to face the elder woman. "I think you need to take a few days; let this blow over."

"I thought you said it was nothing serious?"

"Kate," the Captain had never called her by the diminutive before. "I think we can all agree that you have a little more at stake in this situation. Like I said before, it's a liability. A liability I'm not willing to let you risk anymore. Now go home."

Rick was already gathering Kate's things by the time she returned to her desk. Either he had overheard the end of the conversation with the Captain or he had just had enough. By the determined look on his face either scenario was possible. She decided not to argue with him; it seemed all the fight had run out of her.

"I asked the boys to follow us home, just in case. I'll talk to the security guys when we get there; let them know to beef things up again. At least for the next few weeks."

Kate nodded in agreement; she had gotten used to the extra muscle around the building since Montgomery's death. They were well trained professionals, quiet but effective. A few minutes later the four of them were pulling out of the parking garage and headed to the loft. They were still about ten minutes from home before either of them said anything.

"I'm sorry Kate."

"For what?" She couldn't look at him, the traffic was stopping ahead.

"For overreacting, for looking like a fool, for embarrassing you."

"I think I should be apologizing for underreacting. Shut up, I know that's not a word." She reached out and pulled his hand to her stomach. "Why isn't it as instinctual for me as it is you? Why do I fight it so hard? Shouldn't the mother in me win over the Detective in me?"

"Yes."

"Well thanks for not coddling me." She took the opportunity to look over at him, the light was red. She seemed to have lost the boys somewhere in traffic; hopefully they would catch up. "It just seems like it should be a bigger deal."

"What should?"

"Don't you get it? I think that was your last day as my partner. I'm not sure I can do it without you anymore." To her own ears she sounded pathetic. The light turned green and she accelerated through the intersection.

"Kate," Rick turned in his seat. "You…"

The exploding windshield cut his sentence short. That's when Kate saw them; two motorcycles heading directly at them from an alley to their right. She was losing control of the steering; she had to assume a second bullet had taken out at least one tire. She steered into the swerve before the passenger side crashed into a garbage truck. The sound of metal on metal was loud but not loud enough to cover Kate's screaming.

"Rick!" The Crown Vic came to a halt facing their assailants who were slowly approaching on foot.

"Get out Kate!"

She couldn't her seat belt was jammed. Thank God Vance Scranton was arrogant, otherwise Kate was sure he would be running at them instead of sauntering like this was the shoot out at the OK Corral. "Rick get down!"

Another bullet hit somewhere in the engine in front of them. From this distance neither of the men seemed to be that great of a shot, at least not with the shotguns they were brandishing.

"My foot's stuck Kate, you need to get out! Go!" He had thrown himself across her lap; putting himself between the babies and the bullets. He reached passed her and shoved the door open.

"Rick, my seat belt!" He tried the mechanism to no avail.

Kate's adrenaline was pumping so hard, her chest heaved like she was running a marathon. Of all the time's for her Motherhood instincts to take over; the cop in her demanded she stay and fight, the mother in her screamed at her to run. She couldn't let the internal conflict render her useless.

"Castle, hit the bar under my seat."

She was thankful that he acted quickly, her seat slid back with a hard click. She leaned to her right; grabbing her weapon from her purse that she had thrown on the floor behind the passenger seat; she hadn't been able to wear it on her hip while driving for a few weeks now. She took another second to grab her husband's bullet proof vest. She threw it over his head and shoulders. They were within fifty yards now. Scranton took aim; the bullet exploded through the engine. Flames began to crackle instantly; the car was now on fire.

Knowing Scranton would need a beat to re-cock the double barreled weapon; Kate decided to take out the other guy first. Her hands were shaking but she never doubted her ability; her training would kick in. It had to, it wasn't just her she was protecting, it wasn't just him either. One shot, he was down and she knew he wasn't getting back up.

"Kate?"

"One more Rick, you just keep doing what you're doing!"

She could tell she was screaming, but she had no control over anything at that moment; only her weapon. Scranton got off another shot; it missed high just skimming the roof of the vehicle. He was playing for keeps now, no more games, he wanted them dead. Kate steadied her aim, the flames were beginning to block her view, the smoke was thick and putrid in the air around them. Rick coughed against her hip. Another smooth squeeze of the trigger and Scranton was down.

"Okay Rick, I got'em. You're gonna have to cut me out of the seat belt. My pocketknife is in..." Kate's startled at the sound of more gunfire to their back. It dawned on her; there had to be a third shooter; no way Scranton could have shot out the windshield from that angle. She heard footsteps approaching; aimed her weapon.

"Beckett. Castle. You two alright?"

"Ryan, get her out of here now!" Castle was struggling to sit up. He handed Ryan the pocket knife.

Once free from the burning car Kate tried to lean back in and pull her husband out but she was being pulled back. Esposito's arms were too strong. He shoved her against the facade of the nearest building; she couldn't see the car anymore; she couldn't see him.

"Go, I'm fine!"

"No way Boss," he continued to stand guard in front of her; blocking her from any further assailants. "We don't know how many there might be. I called in backup."

"But Rick!" She was practically hysterical.

"Ryan's got it covered."

"Javier," Kate was sobbing now; she pushed on Esposito's back, "Please, he was stuck.. his foot. Ryan's not big enough."

"That's bullshit and you know it Kate."

"Oh God, where is he? Castle! Don't let him burn..." Kate doubled over; she was in so much pain.

"Kate!" Rick caught her before she hit the pavement.

**xxxxxxxxxx**

**Oooh, a little cliffhanger, I'm not usually so good at those. Yeah it's Castle Monday!**


	26. Chapter 26

**Okay, so apparently threatening me with bodily harm does actually work. Only three days since my last update! This one is all medically and stuff again.**

**Good thing I don't own them. If I did I would owe one of them a new car right now.**

**xxxxxxxxxx **

_'No no no no no no no no!'_ Kate recited it over and over in her head; maybe if she said it enough times this really wouldn't be happening.

The pain radiating throughout her midsection was overwhelming. Everything seemed to be moving in flashes, in bits and pieces; each second its own entity not linked to the next or to the one before it even. She could feel the concrete, cold against her knees. Could feel the hands; hands fisted against the tightening pain - hers, hands keeping the rest of her from meeting the concrete – Javier's, hands on her face-neck-head-stomach - Rick's, tiny hands pressing from the inside out – '_Oh God.'_

"Breathe Kate!"

Her teeth were clenched too tight for air to pass through them. She sucked in, tried to fill her lungs; nothing. Well not nothing, there was more panic, more pain.

"Kate!" Rick grabbed her; hard and forceful. "Breathe… now!" He practically screamed the oxygen into her.

Kate gasped for air; coughed against the burning in her throat. Her chest heaved and wheezed. She could taste the bile rising from her wrenched stomach; she swallowed it down. Esposito lowered her to the ground and took up a protective stance once again. Rick cradled her quaking body in his arms.

"Contractions," was all she could manage between hitching breaths.

"Shhh, we'll get them stopped."

"Too early…" Kate buried her face in his shirt; clawed at his bicep.

"Hear that babies, listen to your momma? A Castle never crashes the party early." His words were typical Castle, but there was no levity in his tone; only desperation.

The paramedics swooped in seconds later. Rick shifted beneath her to sit cross legged on the pavement; he cradled her head in his lap. Kate watched him above her; she had never seen him look so scared. His eyes were wide and wild, his pulse pounded from the side of his neck. How could she have done this to him; to his babies?

One of the medics put an oxygen mask over Kate's nose and mouth while the other took her vitals. "Where's the pain ma'am?"

"Babies…" It was all she could get out between gritted teeth.

The young medic was calm, "Okay, do you think you're injured anywhere else; any gunshot wounds or lacerations?"

Rick interjected, "I couldn't find anything on her; the blood seems to all be mine."

Kate's heart sped up even more; it was banging against her ribcage. She tried to sit up but again all the hands made it impossible. She tried to shake the tears out of her eyes; they were filling up, blocking her vision. "Blood?" She couldn't manage to ask the rest but Rick answered anyway.

"Just a scratch on my leg; ruined my favorite pants too." There it was again, oh she loved him for trying.

"How far along are you Detective?"

Kate startled; who told him she was a Detective? When? Time was still fractured, still braking; like her husband's heart – like her soul. "Twenty-four weeks."

"Okay, so I'm guessing we're looking at more than one?"

Rick nodded, "Two, two little girls," his pride evident even in the midst of his obvious devastation.

"Okay, so we need to get these contractions stopped; a little too early for their big debut, huh?"

The medic listened to his partner as she rattled off some numbers. Kate assumed they were her vitals, but she couldn't concentrate enough to be sure. At least the shaking from the adrenaline rush had begun to subside; she managed to unclench her fists, loosen her jaw. They transferred her to a gurney. Rick never left her side, never let go of her hand and never stopped talking to her. He asked her to keep calm and keep breathing. She wouldn't blame him if he asked her to keep being pregnant. Why didn't he? She hated herself right now, _why didn't he_? Except for Rick's persistent reassurances and Kate's repeated pleas for forgiveness the ride to the hospital was relatively quiet, considering the siren blaring overhead. The medic worked diligently; he asked questions here and there, started an IV and kept Kate warm with blankets.

By the time they reached the hospital, the constant cramping had transitioned into more of a rhythm, but the intensity remained the same. Kate felt like she was being ripped in two every time; it took total concentration just to breathe through them. Once in the ER Kate was rolled into a curtained off area. A couple of young nurses hooked her up to a heart monitor and then placed two fetal monitors on her abdomen. A man entered and assessed the situation before approaching the gurney.

"Mr. and Mrs. Castle, I'm Dr. Griffin." He shook Rick's hand and patted Kate's thigh. "I'm the OB on call, but we've also paged Dr. Candace; I see on your pre-registration paperwork that you are expecting twin girls this summer?"

"Yes," Kate answered. Rick nodded.

"I can see you're both very anxious so let me get down to business. According to the monitors, both babies have normal heart rates. They have slight decelerations during each contraction but that's to be expected; as long as the rates return to normal afterward there's no need for immediate concern. When Dr. Candace gets here I'm sure she will want to do a full work up and an ultrasound just to be sure."

"Thank God." It was Rick that spoke first. He stroked Kate's head and wiped some of the steaming tears from her face. He kissed her cheek. "They're okay, our girls; they're alive." It was barely a whisper.

"However, the contractions are a big concern." The Doctor pointed to the long strip of paper coming out of the machine. "The good news is that they do seem to be slowing down." He paused and palpated Kate's belly, "You're having one now."

"Mmm-hmm"

Although still extremely painful, Kate did notice a decrease in the sharpness; the relief of knowing her daughters' hearts still had a beat played a huge part. She watched her husband step closer to feel it too. She could see the haze of fear lifting; that little flicker of light returning to his eyes.

"Wow, it's so hard."

Dr. Griffin chuckled, "Pretty cool, huh?"

"Yeah…" Rick was in awe.

"Not so cool from where I'm sitting." Kate closed her eyes. She waited for Rick's response; a joke would prove it; prove he still loved her despite it all; despite the fact that she almost got them all killed, almost got his children killed.

"You mean laying? Not so cool from where you're laying."

"Where she'll be laying for a long time after this stunt." Dr. Candace barked from the foot of Kate's bed. She went immediately to the monitors and then reached for the chart the younger physician was holding. After flipping through a few pages and conferring on the findings so far she nodded to Dr. Griffin and he left. "I'm serious Kate, you're grounded."

"Just tell me they're going to be okay, please." Feeling more at ease with her own Doctor present, the floodgates seemed to open again.

Rick brushed her hair from her face; kissed her forehead, "Shhh Love." That only made the tears fall faster.

"They look good right now and the contractions do seem to be tapering off, but I will feel much better once they've stopped completely. I want to administer some Magnesium Sulfate. It does wonders in stopping contractions." She grabbed a hospital gown from a nearby drawer and handed it to Castle. "Can you help her into this; opening in front?" She turned to Kate, "everything off; you're getting a complete work-up." She left as abruptly as she had arrived.

"I don't think you're the teacher's pet anymore."

Kate couldn't laugh; couldn't even smile. She just reached for the gown in his hand. Rick gently helped her remove her tunic style shirt before unclasping her bra. Somehow he managed to slip her bra off and the gown over her shoulders with little assistance from her. She saw him swallow hard upon discovering the raw red mark across her left chest and neck. The seatbelt had done its job but had inflicted some punishment, as payment. He wouldn't let her stand to remove anything from the waist down; choosing to do it all himself. "You of all people should know I'm an expert at this part." He winked at her from near her feet. Before she knew it her slacks and panties were already folded with her shoes and other clothes. He pulled her trouser socks off one by one before spreading the blankets back up over her body.

"Don't do that." Kate's chin quivered as she said it. "Don't look at me like that." She covered her face with her hands.

"Like what?"

"Like I'm not at fault for this, like I didn't almost get us all killed, like I actually deserve these babies, like you love me." Between her sobbing and her hidden face, the words were barely comprehendible.

"Okay, so I need to warn you of the side effects." Somehow Dr. Candace had again entered the curtain clad cubicle with as much stealth as she had previously.

Rick moved back to his wife's side. He sat one butt cheek on the mattress next to Kate's right hip. She grabbed his bicep in both hands pulling him closer; she squeezed hard. He assumed she was having another contraction; a hand to her belly confirmed it. As horrible as the fact that she was having contractions at twenty-four weeks was, he couldn't deny that he was amazed. He rubbed gentle circles over her taught muscles with his flattened palm until the tension subsided and Kate stopped torturing his arm.

Before the Doctor could continue they were interrupted once again. "Richard Castle!" It was Lanie, "You're bleeding all over the floor. Go, I'll take care of our girl here." Rick threw the tiny women a glare unlike he had ever done before. He had no intention of telling Kate about his injury at the moment, much-less leaving her side to get it looked at. Lanie didn't even flinch; she just pointed to the slightly opened curtain. "The boys are waiting. I can have them drag you out if required."

Rick looked at the three women in the room; somehow he knew it was a lost cause. He twisted to lean down and kiss Kate, even if she was in no condition emotionally to return the affection. He spoke against her lips, "Tell them their daddy says hello." He wanted to be there for the ultrasound but his leg and foot really were hurting. Plus he had made quite a mess on the ER floor. He shifted slightly so his lips were next to her opposite ear. Kate was still clinging to his upper arm; her face tucked into the space between his jaw and shoulder, he could feel her shaky breath on his skin. "_'__He who can no longer pause to wonder and stand rapt in awe, is as good as dead'_" He kissed the mole on her cheek, _ "_I can look at you like that because I love you. You're all I see, ever; forever." He waited a moment, not caring that they had an audience; he needed something from her. He couldn't leave her until he knew; until he was sure she believed him. Her hand shifted to fist in the front of his shirt, the slight tilt of her head allowing their cheeks to touch momentarily was all he needed.

In the hall Castle found two very anxious Homicide Detectives. At that moment the events of the last hour seemed to land full force on his shoulders. He stumbled forward. His pain had increased tenfold since leaving Kate's side. If his mind weren't a jumbled mess he would surely put together some beautiful metaphorical prose about Kate's beauty being the analgesic to his pain.

"Dude?" "Bro?" The tough cops spoke at the same time.

Castle ignored their protestations, he was hugging them both and he didn't care. His right arm was slung over Ryan's shoulder and his left over Esposito's. "I'll never be able to thank you both enough."

xxxxxxxxxx

Three hours, eighteen stitches, and two broken toes later, Castle hobbled his way to Kate's room. Ryan had gone back to the precinct a few hours earlier but Esposito had kept him posted on Kate's whereabouts, but provided no other details. The second he opened the door to her room he was running to her side.

Kate looked worse than… well worse than he had ever seen her, _ever_. She was propped up in the mechanical hospital bed. Her skin was grey; no ashen, it was the color of ash. The dark circles under her eyes were so dark and defined one could assume, were the circumstances different, that she was wearing some sort of ghoulish stage makeup. Lanie was doing her best to hold a plastic basin close enough to catch all the vomit that seemed to be pouring from Kate's mouth. By the looks of Kate's hospital issued gown, the ME had only been partially successful. And the stench; clearly this was not her first go around.

"Just the meds Castle," He could tell Lanie was trying to head off his panic; another thing she was unsuccessful at. "Magnesium Sulfate is a bitch. During my OB rotation I saw some women choose premature birth over having to endure the stuff. Here…" She handed Castle another plastic basin, this one held cool water and a washcloth.

"Hey," he sat on the bed facing Kate and wiped her clammy face. Kate slumped forward. She rested her forehead on his shoulder, her hands slid into his lap clearly searching for his. He put the basin on the side table and wound his fingers into hers. She cried. It was unlike anything he had ever heard from her. She sounded like wounded animal. "Shh, I'm here Love." He wasn't sure where the endearment had come from but it had slipped out earlier and now it just seemed right. It surprised him but Kate settled quickly.

"She's probably asleep already," Lanie was back from the bathroom. "She's goes from completely asleep to reenacting the Exorcist in no time flat."

Between the two of them they got Kate changed into a clean gown and resting on her left side with little more than a grunt from their patient. Lanie filled him in on everything he had missed, beginning with the side effects of Magnesium Sulfate. Apparently they included extreme drowsiness, blurred vision, slurred speech, headache, nausea and vomiting. All of which Kate had experienced in the three hours he'd been away. The most recent contraction had occurred about forty-five minutes earlier so Dr. Candace stopped the Magnesium drip just minutes before Castle had returned. Hopefully the nausea and vomiting would subside quickly, but Kate would be pretty listless for the next day or so. The goal was for her to go at least twelve hours contraction free. At that point she would be free to go home, where she would be on strict bed rest for at least a week.

"Here you go Castle." Lanie handed him the ultrasound pictures. "Looks like you've got a thumb sucker on your hands."

He smiled at the funky little picture. It reminded him of Halloween, just the faintest outline of a face and hand with tiny little finger bones. His legs wobbled, so he sat on the end of Kate's bed. He had to swallow back all the emotion of the day just to ask a question. "They're really okay Lanie? She's okay?"

Lanie stopped gathering her things. "I promise, but so help me, if she so much as thinks about work again before my goddaughters are approaching their third month on the outside…" she paused to choke down some emotion of her own, "…let's just say you'll be facing single fatherhood for a second time."

"Don't worry, after this I'm prepared to tie her to our bed."

"Hey now, no kinky stuff for the next week either." She winked before turning serious, "I think she gets it now Castle. I've never seen Kate that scared before, she was downright panicked." Lanie grabbed her purse, gave Castle a quick hug. "Javi and I are going to your place. We'll grab you both some clothes, bring you your car and some dinner."

After Lanie left Castle glanced at his watch; it was approaching five o'clock. He was in for a long night.

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Kate could barely open her eyes; in fact she wasn't convinced she was even awake. Everything felt so heavy; it was dark in the room. Her head pounded like a runaway jackhammer, every muscle in her body seemed to protest even the slightest of movements.

"Castle." She couldn't see him but was certain he was there, he was always there.

"Shh," his voice was soft from somewhere near her left hip.

"Rick?" He would hear the question.

Kate realized her hand was tangled in his soft hair. She slid it down past the nape of his neck and fisted it in the collar of his shirt. She tugged, it was weak, but it was all he needed. She could hear him shift slightly; the chair scooted slightly against the linoleum floor as he rose. Rick lifted the blankets momentarily to slide under them. She shivered as the cool air passed over her bare legs, but his hand on her belly spread a healing fire through her system. She didn't have to open her eyes to know he was there, she could smell him, here him, feel him.

"Right here Love, Always."

**xxxxxxxxxx**

**Ok, so I promise only one more physically tough chapter for Kate. Well, until the birth that is. Also, someone asked me when these kids were going to be born already. We have a while to go before their debut. That is unless you all think I'm dragging it out too much. Let me know? **


	27. Chapter 27

**First things first...**

**To Sugar skull, I would've responded directly but you're not set up to receive messages so here goes. I looked it up and _through_ and _thru_ are both accurate and acceptable spellings. However, _thru_ denotes a bit of informality. So, I do not apologize for using _thru,_ but I do believe I discontinued using it quite a few chapters back. If you happen to see it pop up again, and it trips you up, well just consider me an informal kinda gal. ;-)**

**Secondly...**

**To all who have reviewed, I deeply appreciate it. I am not very good at responding, you have to catch me in a good mood; which if you ask some people is not very often. I digress, just know that I appreciate every ounce of feedback I get. I have never considered myself very creative or good at writing, so this experience has bolstered my confidence greatly.**

**Thirdly...**

**While reading this chapter you may think that they've had this little fight, if you will, a few times already. Similar - maybe, but in my head they haven't. Each little bump in the road has had its own nuances. I hope I portrayed them accurately and distinctively. If not, then go with this alternate theory; Katherine Beckett is a tough nut to crack, but I think I've done it with this one.**

**Finally...**

**I agree with all of the reviewers that have encouraged me to keep up this pace. We of course still have a nursery to decorate, a baby shower to throw, some names to pick out and a big sister to bring home; all before these little ones arrive. Some of the best stuff is yet to come.**

**xxxxxxxxxx**

"When does it get easier?"

"Oh Darling," Martha sat on the side of the bed next to Kate's hip and shook her head, "never."

Kate didn't know whether to laugh or cry. Her mother-in-law always seemed to have that effect on her. Underneath all the flamboyancy and eccentricity Martha Rogers was one of the wisest women Kate had ever known; second only to her own mother of course.

"I keep making the wrong choice. Why does it come so much easier to him?"

"He's had almost eighteen years of practice." Martha patted Kate's hand. "He made his share of mistakes; all parents do, believe me. Don't tell Richard this, but when I was about four months pregnant I was out with a group of friends celebrating after a performance and…" Martha paused, Kate could tell she was ashamed of what she was about to admit, "…I was on my third glass of scotch before I realized what I was doing; I hadn't even given him a second thought."

"Martha?"

"I know Dear, I worried about the effect of that one mistake every second until the day he was born." They sat in silence for a few minutes before Martha spoke again. "That's half of what motherhood is; just a series of impossible choices followed by years of worry that you did or said the right thing."

Kate snorted, "You make it sound so…"

"Dismal, I know. Then there's the other half; the half that relishes every smile, every word, every accomplishment, all the while you're wondering what the hell you did right to have been given such an amazing gift."

Kate's phone chimed from the nightstand. She quickly read the message and typed a brief response. "Alexis has been texting me every hour since…"

"What did Richard have to promise her to keep her from jumping on the first plane home?"

Kate shook her head, "I'm not sure, I was still a bit groggy from all the medicine but I think he may have made mention of a car."

"Sounds like Richard."

Again there were a few more minutes of silence. Kate wasn't uncomfortable; she enjoyed spending time with Martha and she really didn't want to be alone at the moment. It was nice to have a bit of company since she was given strict orders to stay in bed. She could get up to go to the bathroom and maybe take a quick shower, but that was it. They had returned home from the hospital around nine o'clock that morning; it was now approaching sunset and Rick had barely spent more than ten minutes at a time with her.

Kate finally broke the silence, "You raised a good man Martha; never doubt that."

Martha smiled a proud smile and then moved closer to her daughter-in-law. She reached out and touched Kate's face. She loved this woman; the one that had finally claimed her son's heart. "Coming from you that means a lot. I've got to get going, but just consider one thing. You can't compete with him Kate, and you don't have to?" Martha saw the confused look on the younger woman's face. "You'll run yourself ragged trying to _do_ as much for him as he does for you, for Alexis, for me and for these babies. My son is a _doer_, always has been; it's who he is, what he does, how he loves."

"And I'm supposed to do what?"

"Let him, love him, come home safe every night to him and his children; that's all he wants, all he needs really."

xxxxxxxxxx

"I get it now." Castle stood just inside the open door to the loft.

"Get what?"

He was seething, "Why you insist on being called _Sir. _You've surely got balls of steel to come to our door after what you did."

"You forget yourself Mr. Castle."

"No! You forget yourself _Ms. Gates_." He couldn't give her the respect her position usually garnered. "I don't work for you, never have."

"That's Captain Gates," she was firm but calm.

"I believe the word Captain denotes leadership abilities, and a good leader _supports_ her team in the accomplishment of a common goal or task. She doesn't sacrifice them for the advancement of her own bureaucratic ass-kissing career!" Castle slammed the door in Victoria Gates' face just as his mother entered the room.

"Richard!"

He stomped across the living room, well flopped actually; the Velcro medical shoe on his right foot made stomping almost impossible. He slammed the door to the study behind him. That's where Martha found him ten minutes later. He was standing over one of the bassinets, clutching a pair of stuffed giraffes that Kate had fallen in love with on their last trip to the Central Park Zoo.

"What did she want?" He kept his back turned.

"She dropped off some paperwork and a report for Kate, something about it being a good shoot; whatever that means."Martha listened to her son snort in disgust. "Richard, what are you doing?"

"Don't you think I'm a little old for a lecture about being rude to guests Mother?" His tone was more sullen than biting.

"For heaven's sake Richard, I don't care about that! In fact she seems like an altogether dreadful woman. I want to know what you're doing in here while your wife is in _there_ drowning in guilt. _Alone_."

Castle's shoulders slumped; he gripped the little chenille toys tighter. "I just need some space."

"Ironic isn't it?" Martha wasn't normally one to lecture.

"What?" Castle turned on his heel to face his mother.

"All the times have you denied Kate just that, and now when she needs you the most you decide that _you_ need space."

xxxxxxxxxx

Rick waited patiently.

Kate emerged from the bathroom; she hadn't asked for the hand at her elbow or the one at the small of her back, but she needed them and somehow he knew it. She gave him a quick smile of gratitude as she leaned into the offered support. In addition to the wooziness, a lingering effect of the meds, she had some soreness from the impact of the accident. She assumed Rick did too, but he hadn't let on. He led her around their bed and knelt in front of her as she sat. He rested his arms on her thighs and settled between her legs; his face only inches from her nightgown clad belly.

"Hey," she barely whispered. "Where've you been all my life?"

With a soft chuckle Rick laid his head against her stomach. "'_The minute I heard my first love story I started looking for you, not knowing how blind I was. Lovers don't finally meet somewhere. They're in each other all along.'_"

The room was silent once again. Kate waited, she watched as her husband placed soft silent kisses across her body from her side all the way to her left. She could tell he was struggling; struggling to reconnect with what he thought he'd lost, to what she had almost cost him. She stroked his arms letting him know she was there, she was ready, was willing to promise him anything if he would just forgive her.

"Kate, I'm not sure I can do this."

His eyes didn't meet hers. His head was nestled against her abdomen once again, his chin resting on her left thigh next to his extended arm. It was as if he was hanging on for dear life, hanging on to something that he was sure could slip through his fingers at any moment. If this were any other man, any other guy she had simply dated, that sentence would mean something else entirely. But with him she knew better, her heart knew better, her soul knew better. Even armed with that knowledge she still felt her chest tighten, breathing became difficult, she almost wheezed with the next intake of air.

He continued but struggled to convey the complete thought. "I need you to choose me - choose us... Choose us first every time – everyday, not just when push comes to shove; not just when your back's against the wall." He shifted his head to meet her eyes.

Kate didn't blink yet the tears fell, "I can't promise…"

"I don't mean the unpredictable stuff Kate." He rose up slightly; the clinging was over with. His fight was back; the instinctive need to protect what was his had fought its way back to the surface. "Your job has inherent risks; I get it, I can accept that. But it's when you're given the choice, when you think you have something to prove, when there's room to back down; those are the times I need you to choose us. Those are the times that haunt my dreams Kate. I can't watch you walk out that door everyday and not be sure…"

She cupped his face in her hands; his grip immediately found her forearms. His heart was breaking, hers was already broken. "Tell me what to do Rick." The tears continued to pour down her face. "I promise it will always be you; there is no other choice. Only you. Only them. Only us."

Kate held him as he wept in her arms. He not only wept for what they had almost lost, but also for what had come to an end. In a way yesterday had been the end of their partnership. He would no longer be there to make her laugh at a particularly freaky crime scene. They would never again stand shoulder to shoulder in front of her murder board. He would never again sit next to her in interrogation, helping her stare down a suspect.

If there was one thing Kate Beckett knew for sure it was that love hurt. She learned that when her mother died, was reminded of it when her dad fell face first into a bottle, it slapped her in the face the night Roy Montgomery admitted his betrayal and died in her stead; but never before had it filleted her open like this. This beautiful man; always quick with a smile, who wooed with eloquent words and gave with an unselfish heart had been reduced to tears, rendered unable to speak, and forced to his knees. While Rick grieved for the passage of an era, she grieved for what loving her had cost him.

"God we're pathetic." And with that he was back. In that instant the grieving was over, the air seemed to lighten and Kate could breathe again. "No more of these."

Rick wiped the tears from Kate's face with the palms of his hands. She wrapped her harms around his neck as he scooped her up before settling them both up against the padded leather headboard. He grabbed the comforter and pulled it up over their laps. He draped his right arm over her shoulders and used his free hand to hold one of hers close to his chest.

"Are you hungry?"

She shook her head, "Tell me about them."

"Who?"

"I'm an only child and I never babysat as a teenager. In fact, I'm pretty sure I've only held a baby or toddler two times in my life, and you were there for both of those." Kate snuggled against his chest. She pressed her forehead to the side of his neck. She was ready for her bedtime story. "What will they be like?"

"Detective, there are too many answers to that question."

"I have no place to be, at least not for the next week."

Rick laughed, "Gives new meaning to the term _Captive Audience_."

Kate felt a slight twitch in his neck; she assumed he was waggling his eyebrows. "Don't I wish I could be that kind of _captive?"_ She placed an open-mouthed kiss against his neck, making sure to growl as she did it.

"Seriously Kate, keep that up and you'll have me all worked up with no place to go."

She stopped the sucking, tilted her head to whisper in his ear. "You mean no _one to do_?"

"Ahem," he squirmed but it didn't completely disguise the shiver her mouth caused. "Where were we?"

"I believe we were talking about babies." Kate she settled back in so his voice could hum against her ear.

"Ah yes, babies, what can I tell you about babies? For starters they're so little you're almost afraid to touch them, but once you've held that tiny ball of love in your arms you can't imagine ever letting go. They smell like nothing you've ever smelled before. It's the newness mixed with a little bit of yourself followed by a chaser of powder and warm milk. And the noises. Grunts, whines, hiccups, squeaky sneezes, coos; they're almost indescribable but somehow they melt your heart. Oh, and speaking of melting, they're like little furnaces. Every inch of them radiates heat; the folds of their necks, their tightly fisted little hands, their curled up toes, even their breath. They breathe these tiny puffs of hot air that tickle your neck and cause flutters in your stomach."

"Hmm, sounds like Heaven."

"No Heaven is right here." He let go of her hand and flattened his large palm on her chest. He rubbed a few circles over the flat area. "Before fatherhood, had I been asked what this part of the body was for, I would've had no clue." He stopped the rubbing but left his hand covering her sternum. "This is where that tiny ball of love will sleep so soundly with her chubby little arms and legs all tucked in like a pill-bug. This is where her hair will curl up from the heat radiating between your bodies, but you'll be too busy cherishing every moment to care about the sweat. This is where, as toddler, she will wrinkle the material of your shirt as she fights the sleep that will inevitably claim her no matter how much like her mother she is."

"Hmm," was all she could manage; his words had yet again reduced her to a puddle.

"And right here," he tapped the spot over her heart, "is the spot that will soar with every milestone they cross, every achievement they make and every goal they attain, but as it soars it will also break right in two because it means they're growing up."

Kate's cell chimed from the nightstand; she had to laugh. "What part of your body do you use to kill them for interrupting a perfect moment?"


	28. Chapter 28

**Thanks again for all the wonderful reviews. **

**This one is just fluffy. **

**Don't own them but I would love a week in bed Richard Castle. Who we kidding, I'd love an hour in bed with him. Who's with me?**

**xxxxxxxxxx **

Castle leaned against the door frame trying to catch his breath. He was breathless; she left him that way every time.

He took a moment to survey what had been, just six days prior, their neat and tidy bedroom. It was a far cry from the the sanctuary it normally was. Similarly, Kate was a far cry from the control freak wife of just six days ago, as well. She had taken her grounding seriously; her feet had only touched the floor long enough to use the restroom and take the occasional shower. Everything else; eating, getting dressed, combing her hair had all been done from the bed. Of course she didn't just lay around and sleep the days away, as Castle had hoped. In fact he could, by the looks of the room, chronicle the week by the collateral damage left in its wake.

Day one was all about reading. He saw all three Nikki Heat novels that she'd tossed on the nearby recliner one-by-one after tearing through them at a speed-reader's pace. Mingled with those were three or four children's books that her young friend had sent over from the little boutique around the corner. She went through those in no time as well.

Kate decided day two needed to be _'more productive'_, her words not his. Castle was perfectly content to lay next to her and listen to her read for another twelve hours. However, she'd given him marching orders to dig out every one of her CD's from the room upstairs that would soon become a nursery and bring them down to her. She spent the day burning them all to his laptop. _'They're just wasting space we don't have,'_ she'd said. Now they were wasting space all over the floor; a rainbow of colors as well as sounds; Kate it seems has a vast array of musical tastes. Castle spent the evening transferring the music to her iPod. The whole day had been spent side-by-side comparing notes as to where they were in their prospective lives when some of her favorite songs were on the charts. It got a little weird when Seal's _Kiss from a Rose _turned out to be the song playing during a then fifteen year old Kate's first dance, while simultaneously being the song Rick sang to a toddler-sized Alexis whenever she would cry for a mother that would never return.

Much to Castle's surprise, day three had started out on a pretty clutter free path. Kate had decided that they needed to get started on some serious shopping for baby gear. They spent hours researching various cribs, changing tables, strollers, car seats and high chairs. But when morning turned into late afternoon and she still hadn't decided on the exact set of nursery furniture, she insisted they print out all four of the final choices so she could _marinate_ on them. He had no idea that marinating involved taping the printouts up as if their room where a murder board and the cribs the only suspects. Yet there they were; two taped to the head board and one to the lampshade. Choice number four, having been finally eliminated as a suspect, was now wadded up somewhere under the California King; the result of a poorly aimed rim shot off the small trashcan on his side of the bed.

Then came day four, it had been the start of a new food issue for Kate. Castle was accustomed to her ginormous appetite, in fact it had only increased since becoming bed-bound. However, she was no longer able to eat three large meals with snacks in between. The babies were beginning to take up more and more space in her abdomen and her stomach had become the first victim. Castle tried to convince her that he really didn't mind fixing six or seven smaller meals throughout the day, but Kate insisted that he stick to the normal three squares, just that he make them a little smaller than the normal feasts he had been preparing for her. She said she just needed more _snacks_ to tide her over in between. He glanced at the nightstand now covered with said snacks; Cheetos, celery sticks, grapes, cookies, beef jerky, M&M's, Gummi Bears, trail mix and pistachios. The bed was so full of crumbs that he was pretty sure he had exfoliated every inch of exposed skin when he crawled into bed the previous evening. And that was only after he peeled back all the blankets piled on his side.

Kate had laid awake the fourth night completely overheated, from what he wasn't sure. She said something about having two times the blood volume of a non-pregnant woman circulating through her veins. He didn't hear the whole explanation. He was too busy trying to avoid crushing all the plastic music cases on his way to the thermostat. It was now so cold in the loft that condensation had formed on the windows and Castle had to dress like an Eskimo during the day and burrow like a hibernating bear under a cave of blankets at night.

Then came day five; the best day yet. A little bit weary, Kate begged him to cuddle, order in and watch movies all day. They took turns picking the films. Needless to say they both fell asleep fighting a bit of mental whiplash brought on by watching chick flicks and historical dramas in between both Star Wars and Lord of the Rings trilogies.

Despite the mess, the cold, the crumbs and the vivid dreams of lightsabres and muskets it had been the most amazing worry-free five days of his life. Sure there was the slim possibility that the contractions could start up again, but other than that there was no fear of Kate getting shot or stabbed or assaulted. Yep, five days of pure bliss.

The euphoria continued into this one; day six. As he stood in the doorway; stood in awe of his breathtaking wife. She was sitting up against the padded headboard, both legs bent at the knee; one folded in front of her laying flat against the mattress, the other pulled up with her right arm hooked around her shin; old habits were hard to break even in her condition. Kate insisted on getting dressed every morning even if getting dressed only consisted of a pair of his boxers and an oversized tee shirt. Today however, they had their followup appointment with the OBGYN so she had put on a pair of black yoga pants and a purple tank top. Her eyes were closed, her head leaned back against the soft leather, ear buds in her ears.

The sight alone seized his ability to move, but it was the sound that left him breathless. She was singing; singing _their _song to _their_ babies. He watched her hand rub small shapes across her ever expanding belly. He watched her toe as she slowly tapped the beat into the navy blue sheets. He listened to her exquisite voice sing the lyrics they had sung to each other many times in the past year. The lyrics their hearts had beat to on their wedding day, the lyrics that had become more than mere words put to music, lyrics that had become a promise; a promise she was now making to her daughters.

Castle could listen to her sing forever. Better yet he wanted climb in that bed, crumbs and all, and make wild-mad-passionate love to her. Of course love making had been taken off the menu, at least until she was given the all clear by Dr. Candace. Even then the wild and mad part might have to be more like tame and happy, but as long as he was making love to Katherine Beckett the how didn't matter, and the _happy_ was never in question.

He could tell by the words she was singing that the song was coming to an end, he only had a few more seconds. He snapped a few pictures; the mad dash to get the camera from the study was another reason he was breathless. He snapped off at least ten more shots before she opened her eyes. The smile she graced him with melted him to putty. Had he not been making his way to her side of the bed while taking the final few candids he would have surely fallen to floor with the buckling of his knees. He plopped down on the mattress just as Kate finished the last refrain.

"To make you feel my love."

Kate pulled the buds from her ears and covered his gaping, or was it gasping mouth with hers. It was hot and sloppy, the kind of kiss that would normally lead to more gasping, but she knew that wasn't possible, not yet anyway. She was grateful when he pulled away; not sure she could bring herself to do it. He placed the camera on the nightstand and flopped to his back in front of her. She extended her right leg so he could rest his head on her thigh.

"Good morning."

"Good morning to you too handsome."

"What's on the agenda for today milady?"

Kate fished the birth-plan paperwork out from under her pillow. "Packing I guess."

"Already? We still have like fourteen weeks left."

Rick lifted his head slightly to place a gentle kiss on the exposed skin just below her belly button, or what used to be her belly button. Kate tugged at the hem of her tank top. It frustrated her that every shirt she put on didn't even begin to cover her. Plus she was slightly self conscious of the dark line that was beginning to form down her stomach. She knew it was normal and would go away after the girls were born, but it was just so odd. Of course her husband found it fascinating and was always tracing it with his finger tips or even his tongue. Okay, so it wasn't all bad.

"I'd say more like twelve. Plus look at this list, we don't have even a third of these things. We'll have to go shopping after our appointment this afternoon."

"Oh, I kinda promised your dad we'd stop by his place after, if you got the all clear."

"Perfect, we can go to one of those superstores they only have in the suburbs." She smacked Rick's chest with the thick workbook. "Up!" She pushed against his back as he groaned and rolled. "I think my mid-size suitcase should do it."

Kate watched him leave the room. She was excited to get out of the loft, she needed some fresh air, needed to stretch her legs, to feel normal again. Still, a little piece of her wished the week wasn't yet over. It had been the perfect week. She had no where to be, no bodies, no investigations, no danger and no worries. Just her and the man she loved and time. Time laughing, time bonding with their babies, just time - together.

She grabbed the camera off the nightstand, tried to catch the plastic bowl of grapes before it hit the floor. She scrolled through the pictures he had just taken. "Yikes! When did the tornado hit? This room is a mess."

"You can say that again." Rick tossed Kate's largest suitcase on the bed; she shot him a questioning look. "Hey, that thing only lists stuff for you and the girls. What about me?"

"Um, I think it assumes your stuff will be here at home. You know where you live?" Kate nudged his butt with her toe. He was on all fours trying to gathering the rolling fruit.

"Yeah right, like I'm actually leaving the hospital for one second without the three of you."

Kate blinked back the tears. She had made him a promise, no more crying this week. "Don't pretend your staying has anything to do with me, I saw you eying my jello last week."

He snorted and nailed her with a grape. "Okay so what's first on that list?"

"Nightgowns, a robe and slippers."

Rick grabbed four maternity nightgowns out of the drawer. She really had bought one of every color; not just the primary colors either. He packed the coral, mint, peach and plum colored ones leaving the black, orange and maroon ones untouched. The red, blue, pink, yellow, green and white ones were in the laundry room waiting to be washed. Kate figured she would be spending much of the next six months in them; three until the birth and three while she was still on leave after. She might as well be comfortable as well as colorful.

"Nightgowns, check." He disappeared into the closet, reappeared with two knee-length robes; one silky and one terrycloth. "Which one?"

Kate wasn't really sure, "Go for both."

He tossed them both in the suitcase. "We'll have to buy you some new slippers."

"Yeah and underwear."

"Why underwear?" He opened the top drawer of her dresser, "You've got plenty."

Kate had to hold back the laughter, "Somehow I don't think those offer enough _coverage_ for what I'll be sporting after childbirth." The look of confusion on his face was priceless. Actually clueless was more accurate. "Speaking of, those are on the list too. We'll have to pick some up as well." She pointed to the bulleted item on the page.

"Oh? Oh!" He slammed the drawer shut, "Yeah not nearly enough coverage."

"In fact, you might as well go ahead and throw your clothes in there too. We'll have to get everything else at the store today." Kate skimmed the list again. She would need her toiletries and make-up in the meantime therefore they couldn't be packed just yet. She didn't have any nursing bras, and they hadn't yet begun to think about outfits to bring the girls home in. "Oh, grab a pair of my yoga pants and a tank while you're in there. I'll need them for the drive home."

Rick tossed the final items into the suitcase then plopped back down. He scooted backward up the bed resting between her legs with his head once again on her right thigh "So we can come back to the packing. Anything else in there we can tackle?"

Kate flipped through the pages, "Well, I am kind of stuck on this part." She handed him the workbook.

She watched his reaction carefully. The book suggested that she write down whom she might consider having in the delivery room during the birth. Of course Rick's name was there but she had also written another name with a question mark next to it. His eyes lit up at first, then the crinkly lines showed up. Not the _'I'm so happy I might burst' _lines,but the _'Are you doing this because you want to or because you think I want you to?' _lines. He finally looked up at her.

"Why the question mark?"

Crap he was good; that response gave nothing away. Kate had hoped he would have a definitive opinion on the subject. It would make it easier for her decide. "I kind of want her in there with us." She absentmindedly picked at a piece of lint on his tee-shirt until he stilled her hand against his chest. "They're her family too."

"Okay, so why the question mark?" She hated it when he did that.

"Don't you think it will be weird? Her watching, seeing...you know?" Kate prayed he wouldn't make her finish that sentence. It was embarrassing enough thinking about it; oh please don't make her say it.

"Well if she's anything... apples-apples-apples!"

"This is no time for any of your perverse jokes Castle." Kate recognized that tone. She continued to pinch the sensitive cartilage of his ear. "This is serious. I want her with us, but I'm not sure _how much_ I want her with us. Does that make sense?"

"Kate..."

She didn't let him finish, "I mean what if she's completely horrified by the thought? It might traumatize her for life. Hell, it might traumatize me. Should I give her the choice. Should I just forget the whole thing?" She was practically hyperventilating.

"Kate!" Rick was on his knees in front of her. "Calm down. How about when Alexis comes home we just ask her; decide together whose comfortable with what and go from there."

She took a deep breath, "You're right. We'll just ask her."

"Besides," he laid back down taking the book from her hands so he could hold them to his chest. "Childbirth is totally natural. There's nothing to be traumatized or embarrassed about. You're both women..."

As he continued to ramble on, Kate pulled another book from beneath the covers. This one was chocked full of all the information anyone would need to know about the _'miracle of childbirth'_ complete with pictures. She cracked the spine, opening it to the page describing something called _crowning_. She held the book in front of her husbands face. He stopped mid-sentence. Kate felt his head tip back and forth as if he was trying to figure out what his eyes were looking at.

"Holy hell! What is that?" It was his turn to hyperventilate.


	29. Chapter 29

**This one is M rated, but it's near the end. So if your sensitive you can just stop when you see it approaching.**

**I must say thank you to Longstocking61. I had a right chortle when I read about your right chortle.**

**BTW: IMW just started a new story. I haven't even read the initial chapter yet, but I am positive it will be absolutely breathtaking. So if you haven't read anything by IMW, I suggest you abandon my rubbish and head on over. While you're at it inhale anything written by chezchuckles, as well. I am illiterate compared them. **

**xxxxxxxxxx **

Castle finished loading the back of the SUV as quietly as he could. Kate was sacked out in the front seat. He closed the hatch as softly as possible and made his way to the passenger door. He felt bad for taking so long in the store but after a solid week spent on lock-down they were completely out of everything. Okay, so maybe he picked up a few extra things along the way but who could blame him.

"Hmm?" Kate stirred in the seat.

"Just fastening your seatbelt Love."

The moniker he'd used in the hospital had stuck. Kate didn't seem to mind it. Probably because it wasn't something you could pull out anytime or in any situation like Babe or Hon, both of which his wife despised. The heartfelt sentiment, Love, only seemed to fit during quiet soft times like this one.

He reached across her body to engage the safety device with a crisp click. He made sure to tuck the lap belt just below her belly, across her hips. The bruises from their earlier _accident _had almost faded but he was still careful not to pull the straps too tight. Kate snuggled deeper into the seat, instinctively turning to her left side. Dr. Candace had given her strict instructions to maintain that position when she slept; something about better blood flow to the babies. As she turned Kate pulled her knees up tucking her feet beneath her. Rick slipped her shoes off, tossed them to the floor before depressing the electronic mechanism to slightly recline the back of her seat.

Once on the driver's side Rick shifted into reverse. He turned to make sure the parking lot was clear, to his surprise Kate was looking up at him from under heavily lidded eyes. He saw the white reverse lights from a car in the opposite row of parking spaces, so he waited.

He gave her a soft smile and shook his head, "Why do you fight it?"

The back of his hand grazed the soft skin of her cheek. Kate didn't answer; only hooked her thumb with his bringing his knuckles to her lips before resting them both on her thigh. Once the lane was clear he backed out. The sun was beginning to set and the spring shower that had been threatening to fall most of the day spit its first few drops on the windshield. Rick hoped the downturn in the weather wouldn't prolong the already lengthy drive home. He mentally scolded himself for agreeing to this little excursion. He should have known it would be too much for her.

_After leaving the OBGYN's office with instructions to return to relatively normal activity while still taking it easy for the rest if the pregnancy, they'd spent the afternoon at Kate's dad's place. Around four o'clock Rick could tell Kate was slowing down, so they enjoyed an early dinner with Jim then headed out. He fully intended on going straight home but Kate was insistent on getting the much needed shopping done today. However, after picking out a few nursing bras, a pair of slippers and some granny panties, as Kate affectionately called them he could see she was fading fast. He summarily sent her to the car while he finished up the shopping._

"Do something for me?" Her voice was sing-songy from sleep.

"Anything." In his mind it sounded like _always_.

"I want it to be like a fairytale."

_It what? _Sleepy Kate was adorable but hard to follow. "Already is Love, you're my Sleeping Beauty." He squeezed the back of her right thigh; it was all he could reach of her while driving.

Kate laughed; that high-pitched one-note laugh that he loved to hear. "The nursery, Price Charming; the nursery."

Was she asking him to design the nursery without her? He didn't get it. "But don't you want…?"

"I only want to see it the way the girls will see it. Please, as a gift for me…?" Her eyes were closed and her words drifted off slowly.

Rick had to fight back the tears. _Whose dumb idea was it to promise no crying this week?_ Oh yeah, he was an idiot, how could he not cry? Everything Meredith had kept from him – Kate gave freely, every wound his first wife had inflicted – Kate healed. She was giving him a gift. She'd tried to disguise it; tried to pretend it was for her, but they both knew this was for him. Kate and her body were in charge of their twins' temporary haven. Rick was in charge of the permanent one. He had to get it right. She'd asked for a fairytale so a fairytale she would get.

"Hey," he squeezed her thigh again and she rousted a bit. "When Alexis comes home, the three of us should go to the Hamptons for the weekend. I'll come back, take care of the nursery and head back to the beach to get the two of you the following weekend."

Kate's face crinkled and the worry prominent vein on her forehead popped to life. She worked her hand up the inside of his forearm grabbing at him a bit desperately. "Five days?" She whined. Kate Beckett didn't whine.

Rick laughed and tugged at the arm she'd given him. "You really are tired."

He had to admit, he didn't really like the idea of being away from her for that long either. He would need to get a head start on the babies' room before the weekend. Maybe he would stay with Kate and Alexis through Monday then go back to get them early Friday. Three days; she could do three days. Could he?

"_'A__bsence makes the heart grow fonder'" _

Kate murmured a response, "Not possible."

"Sleep now, Love."

Ninety minutes later Castle pulled into the underground parking garage below their building. Kate woke just as he scooped her out of vehicle.

"Castle, put me down." She put up as much fight as a kitten.

"Hush Kate, you're only wearing socks and the concrete is all wet from the rain draining in off the street."

He kicked the door closed. She hooked her arm around his neck for support but still pressed against his chest with the free one. "It's only like ten feet to the elevator and maybe twenty down the hall to the loft."

She was right of course, owning the largest apartment in the building came with many perks. Not the least of which was having the best parking spaces of all the tenants. Funny thing was, her accuracy just proved his point.

"Exactly, now shut up and let me carry you. You're dead on your feet."

"I'm not on my feet."

"Kate!"

She didn't argue anymore even when he insisted on carrying her all the way to the chair in the living room. He sat her down gently, kissed the top of her head and headed back out to unload the car. Kate fully intended on getting up, told herself she should meet Rick at the door, take the grocery bags as he returned with them. She figured it would take him quite a few trips with as much as they had needed. Problem was, her mind and body didn't seem to be on the same page. In fact that would be how she would explain this whole phenomenon called pregnancy; your mind says to go one direction while your body goes another. Or in this case, goes nowhere. Rick had placed her in her favorite red leather chair; he knew what he was doing. He'd even propped her sock-clad feet up on the matching footstool; the bastard.

Kate's eyes opened slowly. The aroma of something delicious wrapped around her like a warm blanket, her stomach growled with anticipation. She looked at the clock; it was after midnight. She sat up carefully; a little stiff from being curled up in the chair too long. She tried to figure out how long she'd been asleep. Two hours in the car, at least, and that was only the drive home. Who knows how long she slept while Rick shopped. She remembered the digital readout on the dash saying nine something before he lifted her out of the car. Her muddled brain did the math; at least five hours. She stretched and cracked her long limbs before shuffling into the kitchen.

"Hey Sleeping Beauty."

For some reason that sounded familiar. Oh yeah, the nursery. She sidled up next to him, he was stirring what looked and smelled like beef stew on the stove. "Prince Charming," Kate stretched to tiptoes and kissed his cheek before making her way to a nearby bar stool.

"I know it's not good to eat before bed, but I figured you'd be hungry."

"Like I'm going to be able to sleep anytime soon, but I'm starved thanks."

"Why is it that when you're told to stay in bed you barely sleep more than six hours a night, but the minute you get the all clear you can barely keep your eyes open?"

"Don't like being told what to do."

"That's obvious." Rick placed a half full bowl in front of her. He'd already poured her a glass of ginger ale, her new favorite thing since having it in the hospital. "Now eat."

She glared across the bar, but the tight line of her lips as she tried not to smile gave her a way, "Bossy."

Rick grabbed his own bowl and sat down beside her. Famished, he emptied his portion in no time flat; sopped the remaining liquid up with some crusty bread. Kate was done before him, but was only able to eat a portion of the bowl's contents.

"Full already?"

He watched her nod then leaned in to capture her mouth. It was soft and comforting; more nourishing than his stew. She wanted more; her stomach had no more room but she could think of another other part that needed filling. Rick pulled back; left her wanting.

"Let me clean this up then we'll head to bed."

Kate wasn't really ready for bed. While Rick cleaned up the dishes Kate headed over to the dining room where earlier she'd noticed some shopping bags still unpacked. She assumed the bags held the few items she'd picked out before practically falling asleep in the dairy aisle. However, there were way too many of them for just some slippers and undergarments.

"What all did you buy?"

Rick was at her side before she could lift a finger. He pulled out a chair for her to sit in. She did so without argument; she was done fighting it. If the last week had taught her anything it was that she functioned better with rest; she felt better with uninterrupted sleep. She wouldn't push it anymore, she would stick to the rules her doctor had provided. No work and no exercise beyond the list of stretches she'd been given to prepare her body for labor. She could be up and around as much as she needed but was to rest whenever possible. She could take short walks; up to thirty minutes a day but no longer. Intimacy was allowed but nothing outrageous or too strenuous.

Intimacy? Okay, maybe she was ready for bed.

"Well I knew better than to get them any clothes or toys without you, but I figure we needed to get a head start on some of the other stuff."

Kate watched as he unloaded the contents of the bags. It was like watching a kid at Christmas but instead of video games and baseball cards the gifts consisted of diapers, wipes, baby powder, lotion, and shampoo. There was a manicure set so tiny; it had to be for fairies or some species of creature equally as small. By the time Rick handed her something blue and rubber his eyes were wide with excitement and anticipation like he'd just provided her every heart's desire. _Didn't he already know he'd done that a long time ago?_

"Wha… what is that?" Kate stammered.

His cheek-torturing grin fell but only slightly; he still looked like the Joker sans the maniacal makeup and crazy hair. "Seriously Kate it's a… a… a thingamajig. You know to suck their little boogers with."

Kate felt a little queasy; she could almost taste the beef stew again. "Oh?" She tossed it on the table, "and it bounces."

"Dead bodies and not so much as a flinch?" Rick shrugged his shoulders questioningly, "Boogers really?"

"Shut up, and why so many diapers? What if they outgrow these before we use them all?" Kate read the side of one of the packages. "You got like two months worth here."

Rick doubled over in laughter. Kate crossed her arms in annoyance; clearly it didn't have the same effect on her husband as it used to. How could it, her current position only accentuated the size of her belly; _so_ not intimidating? When he finally composed himself he held up one of the eight packs of pampers.

"Kate, you do realize the babies will go through about ten diapers a day?"

She ran the math in her head. Eight packs multiplied by fifty diapers per pack comes out to four hundred diapers. Divide that by ten a day, "Okay so not two months but still, forty days is a lot."

His eyes grew wide, "_Each_ Kate; ten diapers a day _each_. We'll be lucky if these last us three weeks." He was laughing again. "You know there comes a point where you need to stop reading the books on childbirth and peruse one or two about about an actual child."

"Shut up." She grabbed the booger thingamabob; it was a direct hit to his chest.

"Shut up? Really? Can't come up with a better comeback than that? I think we've lost our first victim to pregnancy brain; no more pithy retorts."

"Okay Dr. Spock if you're so smart tell me why you bought ten different brands of nipples yet I don't see one bottle."

Rick picked up the nearest package of the aforementioned item, he looked at its contents intently before squatting down in front of her. His eyes sparkled with what she had come to know well as a mixture of mischief and arousal. "That My Dear is the best part of this whole preparation thing."

Kate squirmed slightly in her seat, that look got her juices flowing every time. Even the babies got in on the act which only intensified the fluttering she felt at his proximity. "How so?"

"Nipple confusion."

Her nipples were in no way confused. They tingled and swelled with anticipation. "What confusion?" She tried to shake the haze created by his warm hands under her shirt rubbing her abdomen.

"When you go back to work the babies will have to eat from a bottle." He eased closer spreading her thighs apart. "We need to find the _nipple_…" He used way more tongue than required to pronounce the two syllable word, "… that is closest to the real thing or else they may refuse to eat." His mouth skimmed the exposed skin just blow her clavicle.

"We wouldn't want them to skip a meal." Her voice was low and husky, her breathing becoming labored.

"That's right, no skipping meals in this household." He pulled down the straps of her tank top. Followed his fingers with his tongue.

"And how do you propose we figure that out? Oh god?"

Rick's laugh hummed through the soft fabric of her bra, "We don't need to bother Him with this. See..." His tongue slipped behind the white lace. "...I propose an experiment."

"Experiment?" She could barely form the word.

"I'm pretty sure I'm familiar enough with the real-thing_._"

"You mean the _control_?" Kate knew he liked sticking to the theme.

Her bra already discarded Rick was now working on her tank; lifting it easily over her head. It fell to the floor along with the package of _test subjects_. He took one breast into his mouth. He completely engulfed the whole darkened nipple and suckled.

With her head thrown back in ecstasy Kate wrapped her arms around the back of his, practically demanding he continue. He ran his hot tongue over each and every newly developed pebble and vein. His hands worked at the back of her pants. She lifted slightly to let him debrief her. The motion caused Rick to buck his hips forward seeking some friction, but his erection missed its intended destination; smacking into the underside of her belly instead. He released her breast and scraped his teeth across her neck as they both laughed.

"What's the matter Bill Nye? Trouble with your _hypothesis_?" Kate sucked on his ear.

"It seems one of my _constants_ has turned into a _variable. _No worries a good scientist always performs _repeat trials_."

He dropped his head and engulfed her neglected breast. She writhed against him as he meticulously studied its response to each test his glorious mouth performed. When it came to the Chemistry between them, Richard Castle had a PhD, he was a Rhodes Scholar. Shit, he was effing Einstein, Newton and Pierre Curie all wrapped up in one fantastic hard body. Kate lowered her hands between their bodies, she reached for the button of his jeans. Rick grabbed her wrist.

"We'll get to that later. Let me take care of you first."

"You always put me first."

"And always will."

He rose slightly to explore her mouth with his. He held her hands against his chest. When they were both breathless he worked his way down her body. He kissed every inch stopping at her bellybutton to whisper something to the girls. It was something he'd been doing since early on. Kate never asked; it was a secret between a daddy and his little girls. He finally let go of her hands. He pushed against her shoulders encouraging her to lean back. When his hand dropped to the wet swollen folds between her legs she had to grab the arms of the wooden chair to keep from flying off of it. Rick was too far away to touch anyway so she just held on for dear life.

Rick was a conductor, her body was his orchestra and he was currently plucking the string section. She was fully aware that she had just switched metaphors but couldn't manage enough extra energy to care. Between his skilled hands, the hormones and the increased blood coursing through her fantastically aroused body it didn't take long. The tension built to a height she had never known. White lights flashed behind her eyes and she was deaf to her own ragged breathing. Then it hit, the crescendo he had expertly worked her instrument up to.

Her thighs clamped down on his hand. She was sure her whimpers and moans were off key, but just like any great professional he continued to conduct. His fingers were relentless as they grazed and pinched at the pulsing bead between her legs. Every muscle in her body shivered and quaked as he worked her down from the peak. She was completely spent, and so it seemed were the babies; their almost constant kicking had subsided into an every-once- in-awhile flutter.

"And just think," somehow he was carrying her towards their bedroom, "We still have nine more _test__subjects _rule out."


	30. Chapter 30

**Sorry it's been a week, so I'll make she excuse short... Heat Rises.**

**xxxxxxxxxx**

"Please make him stop." Alexis staggered across the master bedroom balcony with Kate's cell phone in her outstretched hand. She squinted in the sunlight glaring off the ocean waves.

Kate laid the paperback book she was reading face down on her belly; being pregnant did have its conveniences. She took the phone from the grumpy redhead and scrolled through the seven texts that, according to the time stamps, her husband had sent throughout the morning; the first coming a little after nine and the most recent around eleven-thirty.

**Rick: mornin' beautiful**

**Rick: miss u**

**Rick: still sleepin?**

**Rick: is there anybody out there? **

**Rick: not so funny anymore : (**

**Rick: keys r n my hand**

**Rick: i c a speeding ticket n my future**

Kate spoke to the teenager as she typed a response. "Thanks, where'd I leave it this time?" Pregnancy brain had kicked in full force; she had lost her cell phone three times in the week they'd been at the beach house. She'd lost the car keys twice as many times, but at least they had extras of those.

"Theater room… Little basket… Remotes…"

Kate fought back a chuckle; Alexis was most definitely still half-asleep. "How'd you hear it?"

Alexis pulled a patio chair out from under the glass top table and plopped down in it; her face immediately fell into her hands. "Didn't, he finally texted me. Something about making sure you hadn't been kidnapped by a crazed barren woman hell-bent on stealing the babies and raising them as her own."

"WHAT!"

"Worked too, got me out of bed didn't it?" Alexis snorted into her open palms before running her fingers through her sleep messed hair.

"It is almost noon." Afraid that she had inadvertently sounded scolding, Kate added to her comment. "When I was your age and on break, I usually slept until dinner; drove my parents crazy." Kate watched Alexis' smile fade; her eyes suddenly boring holes into the back of her petite hands. _Had that sounded like regret? Or moreover a guilt trip; _Kate needed to fix it quickly, "Savor it now Sweetie, pretty soon the house will be filled with screaming babies. You'll be lucky if you get any sleep at all."

Alexis chortled, "Hadn't thought of that. Do you think it's too late to have Dad soundproof the nursery?"

Kate nodded her head as she sent the text to Rick.

**Kate: whoa hold up there speedracer! **

The response was almost instantaneous.

**Rick: everything OK?**

**Kate: I'm fine… not so sure I can say same 4 Alexis, u woke her up**

**Rick: its almost 12**

**Kate: great minds… did u need something?**

**Rick: just 2 say i luv u & the peas**

Kate had no idea what that meant. Alexis' phone chimed from the pocket of her hoodie. She pulled it out to read it. For an instant Kate thought maybe it was from Ashley but when Alexis rolled her eyes she knew it had to have been from Rick.

"I assume you have the beginning of this sentence?" Alexis held the phone so Kate could read it.

**Dad: & the pumpkin**

Oh, she got it now, the babies were the peas: two peas in a pod. "He says he loves you. Why he insists on referring to his children as produce I'll never know."

"He's just _corny_ like that." Blues eyes sparkled with pride at her quick thinking; so much like her father.

"_Lettuce leaf_ it at that," Kate had to get in on the act.

**Kate: luv u 2… now finish that honeydew list & get back here**

**Rick: what's the hurry? cantaloupe_,_ we're already married **

**Kate: eye roll… imagine my hand on ur ear**

**Rick: APPLES! APPLES! APPLES!**

**Kate: I stepped n2 that 1**

**Rick: yup… peppering u with kisses**

**Kate: GOODBYE!**

Kate stuck her phone in her own pocket, closed her book and poked Alexis in the arm with its soft spine. Seems the girl had decided to rest her head on the table using her arms as a pillow while her parents electronically conversed. Her head shot up and she glared mockingly at Kate.

"Hey kiddo, I kind of need to talk to you a sec."

Alexis sat up straight, eyes wide. "Something wrong?"

"No, it's just; the hospital requires that your dad and I have a birth plan." Kate was grateful to see Alexis nod in understanding. "Well, one of the things we're supposed to consider is who we might want in the room during the birth." Alexis' eyes widened even more as Kate plugged on. "See, I was wondering… hoping maybe? If you wouldn't be too uncomfortable…"

Alexis was out of her seat and draping herself over Kate's shoulders in an instant. "Really!" The excited question was muffled against a mane of brunette locks.

"Only if you're completely comfortable with it."

Kate steered Alexis back to her chair; the youngster pulled it up close to Kate's side. She looked pensively at Kate's abdomen, almost as if it the reality of it had just dawned on her. She chewed the inside of her cheek. Kate could see the uncertainty running through the teenager's mind.

"How about we play it by ear? How much or how little you want to _see_ is totally up to you. As long as you're there with us when they're born, that's all that matters."

Alexis nodded but continued to focus on Kate's midsection. "What does it feel like?" she was sheepish in her questioning.

"Physically or…?"

"Both… All of it I guess. Seems so weird?"

"Ha! Weird is a very good word for it. Like right now," Kate took Alexis' hand and placed it on top of her belly.

Alexis almost jumped off her chair, "What the…?"

"Hiccups." Kate paused; waiting for another little ripple from inside her womb. The next one was softer and not quite as close to the surface as the last; just like always. "They both have them."

"That is so cool." Again, so much like her father.

"To be honest, it's the hardest thing I've ever done." Kate saw the instant worry in Alexis' eyes. "Wait that came out wrong." She smoothed the flyaway red mane blowing in the breeze rolling in from the ocean. "It's just… to not have control over my own body, that's a big thing for me."

"Are you scared about the delivery?"

Kate knew what Alexis was really asking, "Not so much the pain; I can handle pain. I feel like I know what to expect; I've read practically every book I could get me hands on, but then again until it's actually happening, I really have no idea. It's more the fear of the unknown."

"Is it worth it?"

Kate was surprised at that question, "Sweetie, you have no idea." Kate felt her eyes fill with moisture; she took a beat to compose her thoughts not wanting Alexis to disengage; Kate loved these moments with her. "At the risk of sounding hokey… just knowing that the bond your dad and I share created life; it's beyond words. I've never wanted anything more than I want them; I've never felt a love like the kind I have for these babies. It's not _more_ than I love you or your father; God knows I couldn't love anyone more than I love you two." Kate waited for her words to sink in; never ever wanting Alexis to think the babies were more important.

"The only way I can explain it is that it's the _purest_ love I've ever known; right from the start. Loving them never hurts like loving a murdered mother or a recovering father. It didn't require jumping over any hurdles or wading through years of past baggage to get to, like with your dad."

"And me?"

"With you, sometimes there's still that tiny fear that I'm competing with someone else."

They were silent for awhile. The dueling hiccups continued to ripple under their hands. Kate could almost hear the wheels spinning in Alexis' head. She had a feeling she knew what was coming. When the pair of bright blue eyes found hers Kate could only hope she had the right answer, sometimes motherhood really was just as Martha had described.

"Do you think my mom ever felt that way about me?"

And there it was. "Oh Lex," Kate covered the girl's smaller hand with her own. "I can't begin to understand Meredith's choices. If she didn't, just know that your father did, from the _very_ instant he found out you existed." Another thought came to her. "If I've learned anything in the last few months it's that this motherhood thing requires a lot of selflessness…"

"And we all know Meredith puts no one ahead of herself." It wasn't odd to hear Alexis call her mother by her first name. Somehow it reflected the state if the relationship.

"As much as I will never be able to fathom the choices Meredith made. I have to believe that there was a moment; maybe it was only a flicker of an instant, but at some point maybe she realized she could never be what you needed; what you deserved." Kate removed her hand from Alexis' opting to again run her fingers through the fiery tendrils. "And in the midst of making _all_ the wrong choices; in her moment of complete selfishness somehow she made the most perfectly right choice she would ever make."

"She did?" Alexis' voice cracked and tears streamed down her face.

Kate nodded, "She would never be everything you needed but she left you with the one person in this world that already was."

Alexis was out of her seat and again draped over Kate's shoulders; she squeezed so tight it almost hurt. "There's no competition Kate. As far as I'm concerned Meredith never even showed up for the fight."

xxxxxxxxxx

Castle stood just outside the bedroom door. It was late, the drive had been long. He pulled out his cell…

**Rick: don't shoot**

He heard a familiar tone chime from the other side of the door, then some shuffling; he waited…

**Kate: u make 4 a horrible cat burglar**

**Rick: rats! what gave me away?**

**Kate: sounded like a herd of horses climbing the stairs**

He stifled a laugh; fell back against the wall in the hallway a little dizzy with glee. It still amazed him every time; how she followed him into these little word games without missing a step. This morning it was fruits and veggies, tonight it was furry creatures; stupid he knew but so them.

**Rick: shoulda gone bear foot huh?**

**Kate: stop monkeying around & get n here**

He opened the door. Kate was on the couch in the little sitting area to the left of their bedroom. He winked as he crossed the room to her sending one more text as he sat.

**Rick: i'm so hen-pecked**

His lips were on hers just as the corners of her mouth curled into a fox-like grin. He dropped his cell on the coffee table as he leaned into her. He then fumbled with her hands trying to liberate her phone; it joined his with a thud against the solid wood tabletop. Kate's hands squeezed the hard muscles just above his shoulders; kneading in-time with the slow rhythm of his tongue against hers. Rick pulled her across his lap, her smooth-muscular thighs rested on either side of his hips. Both completely gasping for air; their mouths separated only enough to suck in some much needed oxygen. Kate's hands firmly gripped the back of his head while her thumbs got reacquainted with the shape of his ears. Rick's hands snaked beneath her nightgown finding purchase on her hips; his thumbs tickling just beneath the jut of her abdomen.

Even three days apart seemed an eternity to them both right now. Rick wanted nothing more than to take care of her every need during the last months of her pregnancy. He pulled her body tightly into his; loving the hardness of her distended belly as it pressed heavily against his flattened one. He tightened his fingerhold on her backside to insure she didn't slip from his lap. Kate surrendered to the need; the need to have him with her at all times as the birth loomed ever closer. She sunk into the support his body provided; hummed her gratitude into the warmth of his neck. They stayed like that for a while; wrapped in each other; relishing in the mere fact that they were once again together.

"I missed you,"

"Me too." Her head came to rest on his shoulder. "No more goodbyes, deal?"

"Deal, but '_How __lucky I am __to have something that makes __saying goodbye __so hard?'" _He winked as she pulled back; switching her weight to the tops of his legs. "It's late, why aren't you in bed?"

"Reading a little before turning in." Kate nodded to the paperback on the cushion next to them.

Rick couldn't help but laugh. "I've never known you to read trashy novels."

"I read yours, don't I?"

He covered his heart and gave her his best wounded expression. Kate placed a soft kiss to his pouting lower lip. She was distracted; he grabbed the romance novel and whacked her in the ass with it.

"Hey!" Startled, Kate jumped.

This time she actually did start to slide of his lap. Rick's heart pounded in his chest as he lunged forward fast enough to slow her backward momentum. Between his arms around the back of her shoulders and hers grappling with the fluffy couch cushions at his, they were able to slow her descent some. She landed semi-softly on the rug at his feet. She was laughing hysterically; Rick wasn't even capable of speech.

He was next to her on the floor in an instant. "I'm so sorry. Are you okay?"

She could hardly catch her breath. "I must admit my stomach is in my throat right now, but other than that I'm fine."Her laughing only increased, suffering from a slight case of dizziness she had to lay down.

"It's not funny Kate! Did I hurt you."

Rick stretched his legs out so she could rest her head on his thighs. He tugged on her right shoulder forcing her to roll onto her left side. Clearly she was fine; his guilt subsided with each giggle the emitted. When she began to snort he could hardly keep himself in check; her laughter was contageous. Kate held her finger in the air as she struggled to maintain some composure; clearly she had something to say.

"I just had this little cartoonish vision..." she snorted and covered her mouth; so adorable. "...of the girls..." she touched her belly, "...their little arms stretched upover their heads..." You know what the bubble read?"

"I could guess." He was pretty sure he knew what the little text bubble had written in it; knew what it would say if he were authoring the strip, but he wanted her to say it; wanted to hear it cross her giggling lips.

_"'Look Ma, no hands!'"_

If Kate had been standing she would have doubled over in laughter. Rick groaned at her; pretended her little _vision _was too corny to laugh at. She knew better; he knew she knew better. "You sounded like Esposito when you said that."

There was a pause. Kate's laughter subsided. "I think I've decided."

Kate held her breath for an instant. She wasn't sure what made her say that. Maybe it was the mention of her old partner's name. Kate had spent most of the week narrowing down their huge list of girl names to a few sets she liked. She was sticking with the same first letter theme they had decided on months ago, but now she had the added pressure of pairing them with Rick's already chosen middle names, Katherine and Johanna.

"On what?" He fiddled with the messy sideways braid in her hair.

"Their names."

"You think?"

She huffed "Well, I've narrowed it down to three pairs, but of the three I have a favorite."

"Hit me! Ugh... with the names Kate, not your fist."

"Oh, for a famous writer your not so good with specifics." She giggled again.

Rick listened as she rattled off six names. She was careful not to add any inflection that might tip her hand or provide any hints. But he didn't need any hints; he knew instantly which two names she had chosen and why.

"Can I _marinate_ on them?" He tweeked her nose between his knuckles; she swatted at him like he was a fly. "Just kidding. Hmm... Sophie and Stella; one's a little too Streetcar Named Desire for my liking. Cora and Camille; we both know what movie I'll think of everytime if we choose Cora." He cringed at the thought of all the violence in Kate's favorite movie.

"So you like Erin and Elena?" Kate's hopeful inflection gave it away; he had nailed it.

"Let's see," Rick tapped his chin with his forefinger. "Erin, a derivative of Eirinn, the romantic name many poets invoke when writing about the rolling green hills and the bleached white cliffs of Kevin Ryan's pastoral homeland." He watched Kate's cheeks turn pink. "Elena, strangely indicative of a certain shipper name I created for our dear friends Lanie Parish and Javier Esposito."

Kate rolled toward him and buried her face against is stomach; her words got muffled in the fabric of his shirt. "Busted huh?"

"Erin Johanna Castle." Rick's heart fluttered to say daughter's name. "Elena Katherine Castle." Kate's heart fluttered to hear her daughter's name. "They're perfect."

Kate shifted and Rick offered his hand for assistance. She sat leaning into his side, her head resting on his shoulder. "Our little secret?"

He nodded, "The names? For now. What inspired the names? Always."

"Not even Alexis?" Kate had to add that little condition; he always wanted to tell her everything. "I don't want her to be upset that neither name was inspired by her."

"I don't think she'll care, but sure; our little secret."

"Besides, I'll make it up to her with the next one."

Rick froze; his tongue was a block of ice, a glacier – practically unmoveable. "Kate?"

"Yes Rick?"

"Did you just say next one?"


	31. Chapter 31

**Okay, this one is way too sappy and maybe a little too fairytale-like, but hey isn't that why we love these characters? Because they're not ashamed to be gushingly romantic with each other. ****Plus, they can afford to be. I can't because I don't own them. **

**I tried not to be so obtuse and just quote a piece of literature and then give you the name. If you can't figure of them all out, let me know.**

**And to baterist9 I had no idea about the** **cantaloupe, it just came to me?**

**xxxxxxxxxx**

"Keep your eyes closed."

Rick continued to walk backwards holding tightly to Kate's hand even though they had already successfully traversed the staircase to the upper floor of the loft. He led her to the closed door of what was formerly _her room. _

"Okay, before you open them I have something to say."

"Figures," Kate tilted her head in an exaggerated fashion; the famous eye-roll evident even through closed lenses.

"Hush, this is important," he squeezed her hands and continued. "First of all, thank you for allowing me do this; for you, for the girls, _and_ for me."

"Rick…"

"Uh-uh, secondly I need to confess in advance that I may have gone way over-the-top."

"Of that I have no doubt."

"Are you going to let me say this or not?"

"Sorry."

Rick cleared his throat, "Where was I? Ah yes, over-the-top. Anyway, thank goodness I had help from some professionals. They were able to reign in my ideas and the end result is more spectacular than even I, a world famous writer of fiction, could have imagined." He watched Kate bite back the comment that she surely wanted to make. "That being said, you asked me for a fairytale but what's behind this door is more _our_ tale; there's a little of Mommy's story and a little of Daddy's being told to our daughters through the pictures and words of the books they've already heard." He released her hands and placed his on her abdomen. "You ready?"

Kate took a deep breath; answering on a soft exhale "Yes."

She felt her husband move to her back. He rested his chin on her shoulder and with his hands at her hips steered her in the direction of what was now the nursery. She expected him to lead her through the door but was surprised when he told her she could look before they had even moved from the hallway. Kate did as he asked. The door remained closed; what he wanted her to see first wasn't actually in the room, but written in a romantic style calligraphy above the wooden frame. Rick read it aloud…

"_' So come with me, where dreams are born, _

_and time is never planned. _

_Just think of happy things, _

_and your heart will fly on wings, _

_forever, in Never Never Land'"_

"That was an easy one, I know." Rick kissed her cheek, "They'll get harder, I promise."

He reached past her to turn the knob. It swung open on silent hinges. Kate felt her heart begin to beat faster; her breathing became shallow with anticipation. She shuffled ahead trying to take it all in; refusing to let go of Rick's hands at her sides. What unfolded before her eyes was more than she, the muse of a world famous writer of fiction, could have ever dreamed of.

"It's extraordinary!"

There was so much to see; too much to take in all at once. Kate decided that much like herself, the space needed to be pealed back one layer at a time. What hit her first was the overall tranquility and airiness of the space. It was a big room; the largest of the three upper level rooms yet every inch of it felt soft and light; weightless.

The wood floor had been stripped of its cherry stain and whitewashed; no that was the wrong word, whitewashed denoted a pigmentless paint. She stared at the natural grain; blonde beneath her feet until it came to her. Pickled, that was it; pickled and smooth and shining.

Next was the furniture; so much furniture. Two sleigh-bed style cribs stood parallel to one another jutting out from the corner ahead and to her left. Rick hadn't chosen any of the sets they had been mulling over for the last few weeks. Instead he had chosen better. Two dressers, each with six large drawers below the three smaller ones above, and their matching armoires ran along the walls flanking the whimsical sleighs. They were all painted a muted espresso color, each adorned with scrolled legs and exquisite relief carvings. On closer inspection the surfaces all boasted a hand-rubbed finish which only served to enhance every minute delicate detail.

The catacornered placement of the babies' beds allowed for an intimate sitting area near the head of each. Kate could see a classic style cream chenille glider and ottoman sharing the space with a small side table that had been painted in the same espresso color as the other pieces. A matching double glider stood along the wall at the far end of the room to her right. It sat just next to something, she couldn't quite decipher yet, under the window-wrapped corner on the far side of the room.

And finally, along the wall directly behind her were her bookshelves. Rick had had them installed, floor to ceiling, corner-to-corner, well actually corner-to-door, the previous summer. She was so thankful he hadn't had them removed. However, much like the floor, the dark stain had been stripped away. The expanse of shelves and cubbyholes was now painted a soft cream and held all the books she had already or still planned to share with her daughters. There were also the familiar pictures that had been there before the remodel.

If the floors and furniture had been the extent of what Rick had done in the room, Kate would've been the happiest mother-to-be. Ever. But this was Richard Castle she was dealing with, as in all things, he wanted this room to tell a story; their story. In that vein, three of the four walls surrounding them now featured the most beautiful murals she had ever seen.

They weren't the typical murals you'd expect to see in a child's room. There were no cartoonish primary colored rolling hills or fields of flowers wrapping the room from baseboard to crown molding. It was more like each little expanse of open drywall held its own chapter. The artwork, much like the room was light and airy; as if unfinished drawings had come to life and jumped from the pages of an artist's sketchbook before all the watercolor had been splashed between the coffee-colored lines. And there were words; hand-written, almost too light against the creamy colored walls to read from a distance. It seemed everything had been faded. Again, that wasn't the right word; fading denoted age. This room was fresh and young; new like the lives that would soon take up residence inside its walls. Scrim, that was a better word; it was as if she was viewing it all through a scrim. Soft, gauzy; a barely-there whisper meant more for a heart to behold than for eyes see.

Like from the pages of his books, the words summoned her. Kate had to read them all; needed to consume it all. She walked slowly to the wall just inside the doorway. She stopped at the narrow space to the left of the first armoire. Had the door still been open it would have been out of sight. She recognized the picture immediately from the cover of the book she had just finished reading to the twins. The only color the piece contained was the soft pastel of the giant peach, trapped in the gnarly barren limbs of a lone hilltop tree. Above the artwork was the same flowing font used to write the words Rick had read in the hall. Kate ran her hand along the writing as she read to herself; it was about him, a little piece of an expectant father's story.

_'Something else_, _something stranger than ever this time, is about to happen to me again soon.' _

"You won't believe the name of the font."

"Hmm?"

"It's called Rook Castle."

"Liar."

"Hand to God." Rick raised his hand in the air to imitate his words. "The calligrapher had me go on-line and pick one I liked. I couldn't resist."

"I bet you couldn't."

As Kate stepped to her right Rick opened the double doors on the first armoire and pulled out some of the drawers in the adjacent dresser. All the baby clothes were neatly hung or folded inside. "I figure the other set can be for the linens and blankets and things; at least until the girls are older and don't require the changing table anymore."

Kate just nodded; too in awe of everything to form words as the moment, she stopped in front of the dresser as Rick slid the drawers shut. The accompanying changing tray had already been installed; complete with the terrycloth covered pad just waiting for the chance to cradle a tiny squirming naked body in its concave depression. The other half of the smooth wood surface was filled with linen lined baskets, each one overflowing with every essential anyone would need for the task of changing a baby. Rick had thought of everything so she wouldn't have too.

Next she looked to the wall above and found the continuation of the story. A young girl, amber hair in a pale blue dress taking a little peek as she pulled back a curtain. In the wall behind that curtain was a little arched doorway; down the rabbit hole. Thankfully there was nothing Disney about it; Rick knew better than that. This chapter had something for each of them.

A love note to her,

'_Thy loving smile will surely hail the love-gift of a fairytale._'

A piece of him,

'_You would have to be half mad to dream me up.'_

And a little something for their girls,

'_No, no! The adventures first, explanations take such a dreadful time.'_

Rick took her hand and led her around the cribs and into the space between them. The glider and side table were tucked into the corner with a large drum-shaped lamp hanging overhead.

"This is the Mommy corner; AKA the nursing station, at least for night feedings once they start sleeping up here." Kate could hear the pride in her husband's voice. Or was it awe? "It's close to their beds and private just in case Lanie, or Mother, or even your Dad want to visit during mealtime."

"What about you? What if I want you to visit during mealtime?" Kate asked in her best sultry voice.

"You did notice the _loveseat_ across the room didn't you? That's our little corner."

Kate caught the wink and glanced over his shoulder at the very spot he was talking about. "Ours huh?"

"Yup, gotta little surprises over there, but we'll get to that. Sit"

He gripped her forearms firmly offering counter-support as she lowered herself to the waiting chair. Getting up and down had become a challenge with the growth spurt the youngins had gone through recently.

"I see you've been reading some of my _new mom_ periodicals."

"Somebody had to."

Kate kicked his shin and nodded to all the things laid out across the small side table. There was an iPod docked on a set of speakers, some magazines and a couple books; all the things she would need to occupy herself during the untold hours of nursing that lie ahead. The shelf underneath housed stacks of nursing pads and burp cloths.

Rick knelt in front of her, that seemed to be his preferred position lately. His eyes shifted to somewhere over her shoulders. Before she sat down Kate had noticed that the walls around the glider didn't contain any pictures; just more words. She assumed they were all about her, "Read them to me."

"'_There was something strange and extraordinary about her -_

_-something that was frightening and at the same time most exciting.'"_

Kate glared at him mockingly, "I said no nannies!"

"The only one I promise," He threw his hands up as if to surrender. Then he continued to read...

"_'Not many girls would have used their wits the way you did.'"_

"Is that one of the supposed hard ones you mentioned earlier?"

"Fine Nancy Drew, try this one...

_'I am a restlessness inside a stillness inside a restlessness.'"_

Kate shook her head, "Tsk tsk tsk Ricky. That's an easy one too, Little Women."

"I give up, come on there's more to see on this ride."

He held her hands and pulled her to her feet. They rounded the end of the other crib and came to a stop in front of the other dresser and armoire. Hanging above the shorter piece of furniture was a mirror; the frame was carved in the same intricate detail as the reliefs on the furniture. Arced above it was another little piece of wisdom for his children. One he had already instilled in Alexis and was sure to instill in Erin and Elena, as well. A message of self esteem from The Little Princeto his little Princesses.

_'One sees clearly only with the heart. Anything essential is invisible to the eyes.'_

"I know you're not really supposed to hang anything on the walls in a nursery, but I made sure it wasn't over the cribs or the changing table." There was a hint of worry in his voice. Kate caught his eye in the reflection. "It's a Mommy thing? That's what Alexis' Pediatrician told me anyway."

Kate turned to face him, she leaned back against the sturdy piece of furniture. "What's a Mommy thing?"

"Holding babies up in front of a mirror so they get to know themselves. I never thought of doing it, not once. She was four and couldn't recognize her own reflection in a mirror. They should be able to do that by twenty-four months, you know." Rick leaned forward and wrapped her in his arms. "You would've thought of that."

Kate had no response; Rick didn't need one. She just held him, supported him, let him work through it. She was still caught off guard sometimes; how lonely it was for him, the things that still grieved him to this day. He would never let on to anyone but her; especially not Alexis. Finally he pulled back. "I read that it's especially important for twins; identical or not."

Kate smoothed the worry lines from his face, "Okay, when they're old enough we'll work on it with them, together." She tipped his head and kissed him on the nose. "Come on, my back's killing me. I see a loveseat built for two with my name on it."

Kate allowed him lead her across the room to _their_ corner. He sat down first and she let him help as she lowered herself next to him. She leaned into his side, resting the excess weight of her belly practically in his lap. She curled her legs up under herself; she was surprised she was still able to do that. Rick hated that she was still able to do that. They rocked back and forth gently for a while. Finally she pointed to the area to her right, just under the windows. She had figured out that it was a fenced-in play area of some sort. Complete with a childproof gate and rubbery rebound safety flooring to eliminate bumped heads. I kind of reminded her of the mats on the gym floor at the precinct.

Rick followed her finger with his eyes and was on it before she could even ask. "There comes a point, even with a perfect baby like Alexis, that you just need to take a break, catch your breath, get some space. It's easy at first; just toss them in their crib, but then they get older and mobile." He laughed and the jolt against her belly made her laugh with him. "By the time Alexis was a year old I could only think of one thing... Containment."

Kate buried her face in his chest. His laughter hummed through her; relaxing every aching muscle in her body. She spoke against his shirt, "What's it say?"

She had earlier noticed the unique artwork indicative of Maurice Sendak, and the array of stuffed toys that looked distinctively like Max and his group of Monster friends, but she hadn't been able to read what was scribed along side the palm tree lined seaside mural.

"Oh, it's the most appropriate one yet, considering it's they play area.

_'And now let the wild rumpus start!'"_

"Can't wait."

"Me either."

"So, this is our corner, huh?"

Kate tilted her head to see what was written on the wall behind Rick. She read it aloud...

_''The web glistened in the light and made a pattern of loveliness and mystery, like a delicate veil.'"_

She recognized the line immediately, its origin was obvious. What she didn't get was its meaning. Rick had often referred to her as the mystery he would never solve, but still it didn't seem quite right. He clearly wasn't referencing himself in any way, and it offered no sage words of advice for their babies. Kate then saw the smug look of victory on Rick's face.

"Okay, you got me. I don't get it?"

Rick rocked forward and stood. He once again hoisted her to her feet. She turned and what she saw painted on the adjacent wall stole her breath. Above the various barnyard animals that included a _terrific__pig_ named Wilbur and his friend Charlotte, Kate saw it. Woven in the glistening dew-drenched web was one word; the word that meant everything to them. The word he had spoken first, but that she had soon thereafter reiterated. The word that held a promise of love and honor; of forever. They read it together...

"_Always"_

**xxxxxxxxxx**

**That was the most difficult chapter to write yet. I could so picture the room in may head, but actually describing it was almost painful. It was a good pain though. **

**If you want to see the furniture I used as inspiration got to ababy(dot)com and search for the Chelsea Collection. If you do, note the price. Holy Whah?**

**The name of the font _is_ real. Go to rosecalligraphy(dot)com to see it. **


	32. Chapter 32

**Ok, this chapter came about because many of you have expressed your inability to see Kate pregnant. So it begs the question; what does Kate think of her pregnant self? Not so much about the temporary loss of ability, but more about her physicality and how she feels spiritually, because I firmly believe pregnancy is as much a spiritual undertaking as it is a physical one. I think it is a valid aspect of pregnancy; the changing self-image a woman might struggle with. Also, what does Castle see? What does he think Kate sees and is he right? **

**Not too much action in this one; a lot of inner dialogue.**

**And about 'Cops and Robbers'… That darn Martha, she's always gotta steal the scene.**

**xxxxxxxxxx**

Kate departed the bedroom tiptoeing across the threshold of the study. She found herself silently thanking the large area rug that encompassed the center of the room; the hardwood had been too cool against her bare feet. As an added feature its lushness muffled the sound of her approach.

With the remote in one hand and his cell in the other, Rick half-leaned half-sat on the end of his desk facing the smart board hanging at the back of the room. His right foot was firmly planted on the ground while his left mindlessly twirled the large leather office chair in slow semi-circles. He was in, what was steadily approaching a _heated_ argument with Gina. Kate could hear the Publisher's agitated voice booming from the speaker.

Kate was still too groggy to even begin to register what their conversation was about. Or maybe it was the sight of her husband, barefoot and sporting a pair of grey flat front trousers below an untucked – unbuttoned purple dress shirt, that had her subconsciously blocking out the rest of the world.

Kate watched him turn off the smart board and drop the remote on the desk at his back. He extended his right arm and draped it across her shoulders as she stepped into the space directly in front of him. She leaned in sideways to rest her cheek in that familiar dip behind his collarbone; always the perfect fit. Like now; how the front of his thigh melded to every inch of the outside of hers, the way the hard tip of his hip molded itself into the soft mound of hers, or how the jut of his bicep pillowed the recession at the base of her skull as he cradled her. Yep, the perfect fit.

Kate snaked her hand into the opening of his shirt. Her elbow skimmed the soft hair below his navel as her hand palmed his broad chest. She nuzzled deeper into his neck and breathed him in. He smelled so good; clean like soap and fabric softener - fresh. She closed her eyes to let the rumble of his voice vibrate through her whole body.

"Gina, I already told you, I can't today!"

Whoa, rumble was one thing, freight train was another. Kate was never one to worry about the feelings of either of Castle's exes, but nonetheless she pinched the taught skin over his sternum. He must have understood the gesture. She felt him deflate slightly on a ragged exhale; his tone softened.

"Look Gina I have to go, something just came up."

Gina's voice sounded slightly synthesized by the small device. "_Something more important than this?"_

"Infinitely."

"_Richard!"_

Rick ended the call and tucked the phone into his pocket. Now free, his hand fell instantly to its new favorite spot, her belly. Kate couldn't imagine that there would be much to miss about being pregnant, but this constant touch; of love, of protection, of ownership would be missed for sure.

"Infinitely huh?" was all she could manage.

"And beyond."

Rick tilted his head and lightly touched her lips with his. Kate didn't care that he got the quote wrong. It still overwhelmed her, this man she loved; how much she loved him – how much he loved her.

"Morning."

"Don't you mean afternoon?" He squeezed her tighter and pressed his lips to her forehead. "Sleep well?"

"You know I didn't."

Rick lowered his arm from her shoulders to give an encouraging rub over the small of her back. A backache was just one of the many reasons neither of them had been sleeping well the last few nights. Unfortunately Kate had reached the point in this multiple pregnancy thing where being comfortable was a rarity. Laying down made breathing deeply impossible; she could swear one of the girls had taken up residence in her chest essentially rendering her lungs incapable of expanding. If she did manage to find a comfortable enough position to allow her a moment of sleep the other baby would immediately start in on her bladder, and what they were doing to her other organs was unmentionable. Her emotions started to get the better of her just thinking about how difficult the whole process could sometimes be.

"You were sawing your fair share of logs when I checked in on you a couple of hours ago."

Kate snorted, "Eventually the exhaustion just wins out."

"I'm sorry, Love."

"I'm not."

Sometimes Kate left him speechless. The love she bestowed on him was more amazing than even he could describe, but the quiet resolve with which she carried his babies rendered him absolutely and profoundly mute. Rick held his wife tighter; conveying with touch what his heart was feeling, but at that second, his mouth just couldn't say.

Finally he managed something, "Coming down the homestretch; three quarters of the race already run."

Kate pinched his chest again while simultaneously rubbing her watering eyes and nose on his freshly starched shirt. "Don't say stretch." She didn't need reminded of how itchy her skin had become as it thinned and stretched to accommodate two feverishly growing girls.

"Sorry again." He gave the expanse of her belly a consoling scratch and she almost purred.

"Alexis leave for lunch already?"

Rick laughed, "I believe she referred to it as a strategy meeting, but yeah she left about an hour ago."

Kate groaned, "Why won't you help me convince those two that we don't need anything big."

Lanie and Alexis were planning a huge baby shower for the next weekend despite Kate's pleading against it. For reasons she couldn't quite figure out, Rick wasn't taking her side on this one. He always took her side. It's not like they needed gifts; they had enough money to buy whatever was needed for the babies.

"You're crazy of you think I'd stand a chance against my daughter and your best friend when it comes to this baby shower." He combed his fingers through her sleep-mangled hair. "Speaking of, they'll be back to get you in about ninety minutes."

"Do I have to?"

"Oh, look who's whining now?" He kissed away the pout. "I thought it was pretty cool of Lanie to think of it."

"It was, I just…" Kate pushed herself off of him, fiddled with the buttons on his shirt and then with a deep breath stood upright. "Never mind, you're right. It'll be great."

"Uh Kate, you might want to try saying that with a little less disdain when Lanie gets here."

She threw him a toothy grin complete with a twisting finger poking at her cheek. "Better?" She smacked him when he shook his head. "So, what do you have planned for this afternoon?"

"Me? Uh… oh, you're dad should be here any minute, he's going to hang out with the boys and I." Kate tilted her head in suspicion; her dad, hanging out? "And unless you plan on giving him a show…" Rick reached down and squeezed a handful of cotton covered flesh, "… you should probably go get dressed."

Kate huffed and tugged at the back of her nightgown. Any extra material the maternity garment boasted was being put to good use covering the bulge of her tummy, leaving her backside partially exposed. "God, does nothing fit anymore?" She turned on her heel and stomped toward the bedroom.

"What have I told you about the whiiiining?" He mocked her jokingly, and then almost choked at the not-so-motherly hand gesture she flashed over her shoulder, "Potty mouth!" Well technically not mouth, but she got the idea.

"And they couldn't see it so I don't owe them a red cent!" She slammed the door.

xxxxxxxxxx

Kate towel-dried her hair as she stepped out of the shower. She was careful not to step off the absorbent bathmat until her legs were completely dry; the tile floor could be an ice rink under wet feet. It had become a full-time job just re-thinking the little things she used to do every day without so much as a second thought. It was exhausting. She made her way to her sink and used her wet towel to wipe the steam from the mirror.

She needed a minute to catch her breath and cool off. She took in her reflection. There were still times that she was caught off guard by the image staring back at her; the body somehow seemed not her own anymore. She ran her fingers through her damp hair; Kate hadn't worn it this long since high school; the prenatal vitamins had apparently done wonders. The longest tips now hung just above her waist, and the shortest layer touched somewhere around her scapula. She planned on getting it cut during her visit to the salon with Lanie and Jenny this afternoon. And her nails; they were like talons. A manicure would also do her some good.

When the flushing of her skin finally subsided Kate dabbed the rest of the moisture from her chest and abdomen. She had never been large-breasted; it had never bothered her and it _really_ didn't seem to bother Rick. Nonetheless she had, on occasion, wondered what it would be like to be well-endowed. But never again. In fact, she was now convinced that every woman that had ever had breast augmentation must have been completely out of her mind. In her opinion larger breasts just got in the way, and there always seemed to be a thin layer of sweat beneath them. Of course everything seemed to have a thin layer of sweat on it right now, but under the boobs was definitely the worst. She leaned forward to get a better look. Her nipples had never been this dark, or bumpy for that matter. And the veins; her skin had practically become translucent showing every line as they spidered their way across her chest and belly like roadways and rivers on a map.

Kate stood erect and turned from side-to-side. Obviously her profile had changed the most of all. The sway in her back was already ridiculous, but from what she had read and had been confirmed by Dr. Candace, that would only increase as the babies dropped lower into her pelvis. She was still carrying so high that some days she wished they would just drop already; not being able to take a deep breath was infuriating. Other days she wasn't yet convinced that constant pressure in her pelvis would be a better tradeoff than breathlessness. Not to mention the waddling; she was very proud of the fact that despite all the changes, her gait other than slowing slightly, had pretty much stayed the same, for now anyway.

Finally completely dry, Kate dropped the towel on the counter-top and took a long look at her face. It was definitely the hardest part to decipher. She often questioned Rick about her face looking fat. The most she managed to get out of him, between flattery and cheesy comments about _glowing, _was that her cheeks were slightly fuller than normal.

Kate took one last look at herself in the mirror and couldn't help but laugh, "I married a bullshit artist."

xxxxxxxxxx

"Hey Jim what would you like to drink with lunch, we have water, OJ, ginger-ale, and iced tea?"

Rick had just put the homemade brick-oven style pizza in to bake, and the loft was beginning to fill with the aroma of basil and fresh mozzarella. Kate was on a pizza kick right now and the two of them, along with Alexis, had spent almost every night for the last week having competitions to see who's crazy or sometimes inspired concoctions were the best. So far Rick's basil, mozzarella, sautéed onion, and scallop on a garlic oil painted crust had been declared the winner in the inspired category. Kate's apples and Gorgonzola cheese on a sugar cookie crust slathered with Nutella had been deemed the craziest yet somehow still successful. Rick just finished putting another one together for dessert.

"Iced tea sounds great, Rick." Jim sat at the bar watching his son-in-law fill two glasses. "So, how's Katie doing?"

Rick handed Jim a glass and nodded over the older man's shoulder. "Ask her yourself."

Jim turned to see Kate making her way toward them. He jump up from the barstool and met her halfway with a hug and kiss to the cheek. "Katie."

"Hey Dad."

Rick loved the way his wife's face lit up whenever her dad called her Katie. He had only called her that once himself. Kate told him in no uncertain terms that it better be the first and last time he dared to do that.

"How are you, Katie?"

"We're good Dad, Rick's taking good care of us."

_We_ and _us_, huh? Rick could get used to hearing her talk like that.

"You look beautiful."

"Speaking of... honestly, do I look pregnant to you?"

Rick spewed iced tea all over the kitchen. He wasn't sure if it had spilled from his mouth or nose or both. He choked down the little bit of liquid that remained in his throat before gasping for air. Had she really just asked that? Before he could comment he saw her raise her hand in is direction. She open and closed her fingers a few times as if imitating a mouth.

"Not a peep outta you."

Jim looked completely baffled, "Um, Katie-Kat..?"

Kate interrupted him, "Don't look at me like I'm crazy." She laughed and put her hands on her stomach. "I'm mean if you couldn't see this." She twisted from side-to-side to make sure her dad caught on. "If you could just see my face or maybe caught a glimpse of me from the back. Is it that obvious?"

Well that kind of sucked the elation right out of him. Rick, much like Jim, stood in silence. He tried to be objective about it; tried to figure out what Kate was really asking. He took her in piece-by-piece. She was wearing a pair of jeans that flared slightly at the bottom. She had stopped wearing skinny jeans early on in the pregnancy; she said they made her look top-heavy. Either way, her never-ending legs still went on for miles. Even covered by the heavy denim, the strength and shapeliness of her lower limbs was obvious. He moved his eyes up her body, past the orange scoop-neck cap-sleeved shirt that hugged every curve and accentuated every perfectly toned muscle in her back and arms before disappearing into the waistband of the jeans situated below her belly. Finally he came to her face; her cheeks were fuller than normal, the regal ridge of bone a little less sharp. But as always; beautiful, glowing, perfection, smiling – still his Kate. Oh, that was it wasn't it? If she was a _we_ and an _us _was she still Kate_._

"Katie, if I learned anything from your mother it was how to recognize a trick question. Come on, I think Rick has lunch ready."

Score one for his father-in-law.

xxxxxxxxxx

"Grandpa Jim!"

Alexis bounded through the door and into the waiting arms of Jim Beckett. Lanie and Jenny followed the redhead across the loft.

"Hey Girl, you ready?"

"Yeah Lanie, let me just run to the restroom real quick. That way we may only have to stop once before we get there."

Rick greeted his daughter and their friends before following Kate to their bedroom. He stood outside the bathroom door for a few minutes allowing her time to actually do what she'd gone in there for in the first place.

He knocked, "Hey Kate, can I come in?"

He heard her laugh, "of course."

She was washing her hands. "Do you feel up to this?" He offered her a hand-towel and stood behind her. He watched her reflection carefully.

"Wasn't it just two hours ago that you were telling me what a great idea it was?"

"That was before…" He stopped abruptly at the sudden glare in her eyes.

"Before what?"

Rick crossed his arms around Kate's chest and pulled her back into him. He kissed her lightly on the shoulder; he hadn't intended on picking a fight. She lifted an eyebrow at him, "You just aren't quite yourself today; a little less pep in your step. If you're not up to it…"

Kate shook her head and her face softened, "I just figured I should conserve some energy, that's all. I don't want to fizzle out on Lanie and Jenny."

"I think they intend on you fizzling out a little bit. After all, isn't that what a day at the spa complete with a pregnancy massage is all about; getting you to totally relax, relieve some of the aches and pains?"

Kate dropped her head, "I guess so."

He watched her wrap her arms around her abdomen. Was she mentally hugging their children or subconsciously hiding them?

"Are you self conscious?"

"What?"

Rick met her questioning eyes in the mirror, "What you asked your dad; about how you look. Are you afraid to let anyone see your body?" Rick squeezed her shoulders tighter. He kissed the soft area of skin behind her ear. He left his lips there and spoke softly. "Pregnant or not you still turn every head in the room; always have always will. You're absolutely breathtaking and I thank God everyday that I'm the one lucky enough to experience oxygen deprivation."

Kate giggled and blushed; he still loved that he could do that to her. The beautiful stoic Detective – his beautiful amazing wife. He felt her tugging at his hands; together they cupped the underside of her belly. Her hands covered his. Her fingers filling in the spaces between his. She tilted her head back and rested it against his chest; cheek-to cheek. He watched her close her eyes as a memorizing smile spread across her face.

"I'm not afraid." She sounded almost dreamy.

"Then what?"

"Protective…" Rick watched her brow furrow as her head lolled back and forth. "No, wrong word… selfish maybe?"

He kissed the same spot behind her ear; coaxing her along, "in regards to…?"

"This," with a wiggle of her shoulders she snuggled deeper into his embrace. "Them," Kate slid her hands up and down his forearms a few times before once again joining his; supporting their girls. She turned her head to place an open-mouthed kiss just below his jaw-line, "You." She whispered as if speaking on it would make it not so, "Alexis… everything that's mine. I don't want to share it all with anyone but you." Kate lifted her head; met his eyes in the reflective surface. "_'When I'm with you the only place I want to be is closer_.' I only want to be here, with you and Alexis; our own little cocoon where we can go through this metamorphosis together…" She blushed an even deeper shade of red, "Stupid huh?"

"So not stupid." A whisper was all Rick could manage at first. He just stared at her; tried to convey so much more with his eyes than mere words could express. It was almost too much. The room had become so heavy with every wonderful thing between them. He was tempted to run back to the living room, tell them all to just get the hell out. If his wife wanted a cocoon he could be a cocoon; could wrap her up in himself, in his undying love, spin it around her like a bed of silk. Or better yet, a nest… Then it dawned on him, Kate was nesting; his Mama Bird. He let go and circled around her to sit on the sink top in front of her.

"Tomorrow…"

"Tomorrow what?"

"We spend the whole day in our bed, on the couch, in the kitchen; it doesn't matter where. Alexis too. No phones, no internet, no TV. Just us. Just what belongs to you."

Kate leaned in and covered his mouth with hers. It was slow and hot and wonderful and entirely too short. When she spoke her hot breath washed over his face. He could feel her smile against his mouth; he smiled back.

"It'll be the best day ever."

xxxxxxxxxx

The boys had apparently arrived while they were in the bathroom; Martha too. Everyone was standing in the entryway looking slightly suspicious. Despite her overwhelming desire to be alone with her husband and daughter, Kate was overcome by the sight of her extended family. Despite almost daily phone conversations and texts, she hadn't seen Javier and Kevin since she was on bed rest almost a month previous.

"What took you guys so long Bro?" Esposito's insinuation was obvious to everyone in the room.

"Whoa Boss, you're…" Ryan stopped abruptly; Jenny had jabbed him in the back.

"Huge, I know." Kate hugged both of her teammates. "Good to see you guys." Stepping back she looked around the room. Something was going on, but she couldn't quite put her finger on it. "So, the gangs all here, huh?" There were a few shared looks amongst the group, but no one spoke.

"Alright, enough with the pleasantries; the three of us have a date with a pair of very talented hands. Come on girl, Writer Man here gave me the keys to your fancy-schmancy ride. I'm driving." Lanie hooked her arm in one of Kate's and led her out the door.

Once he was sure the three women were on the elevator and headed down, Castle turned to the rest of the group. He rubbed is hands together dramatically, "We have some serious work to do."


	33. Chapter 33

**This is not really my favorite chapter; more of a filler, but hey…**

**Again I'm sorry that I don't respond to every review, but I truly am floored whenever one of you takes the time to read my story, much less to drop me message.**

**To Krist0526: This is not something I have had the good fortune to experience personally, yet. Hopefully someday soon though.**

**I forgot to mention it a few chapters back, but so many of you commented on how pleased you were to see them sleeping in a dirty bed. Strangely enough I found it oddly appealing too, that's why I had to write it into the scene. What does that say about us? **

**Finally I don't own them but if I did I would be truly offended that Stana Katic was, yet again, snubbed for a People's Choice Award. Who we kidding? Owner or not, I'm offended…**

**xxxxxxxxxx**

"Aren't you glad you went?" Jenny asked Kate as they entered the elevator.

"Yeah, actually I am. It was a great idea Lanie, thanks." Kate smiled at her friends.

"All my ideas are great." Lanie quipped.

Kate just nodded and leaned against the back wall of the slowly rising cubicle. The afternoon spent with Jenny and Lanie really had been wonderful. They all three had their nails done, something Kate rarely did because it just seemed so impractical considering her occupation. Then she got her hair cut while Lanie and Jenny sweated away in the sauna, an activity Kate couldn't participate in with them. Finally they all received a massage, Kate's being performed by a licensed Prenatal Massage Therapist. She couldn't remember the last time her body felt this relaxed; sometime before becoming pregnant she was sure of that.

The elevator announced its arrival at their floor with a familiar ding. Kate opened her eyes just as the doors parted. She was slightly startled to see her husband waiting for them on the other side. Strangely enough however, she was the only one that seemed surprised by his presence.

"Everything set to go?" Lanie asked him as the three women exited the elevator.

Rick winked, "Sure is and I thank you both for acting as the decoy." He reached out and took the bag of hair care products Kate had been carrying and handed it to Jenny. "Can you take this inside? We may need a minute."

Jenny readily took the parcel, "Least I can do considering the relaxing afternoon you just provided."

Kate watched the two women prance down the hall towards the loft as if they had been victorious somehow. She had seen Lanie walk like that on many occasions, but was shocked to see how easily Jenny fell right in step with the ME's conniving ways.

"What did you do?" Kate lifted her eyebrow, glared, and crossed her arms at her husband. As relaxed as she was feeling at the moment she figured she would need to use every weapon in her arsenal to intimidate the man currently smirking at her like the cat that ate the canary.

"Straight huh, I like." Rick brushed her hair behind her left ear and kissed her cheek lightly.

"Nice try. Now spill." She tapped her foot; another weapon called upon.

Rick pulled his other hand from behind his back; he was holding her baby book. He raised both arms as if to surrender. "Before you say anything there is something I want you to read to me." He opened the familiar pink book to a previously marked page. Even upside down Kate immediately knew which page it was. Rick didn't turn it to her quite yet. He smiled, "You didn't really think I would let them go through with it did you? I mean the thought of you trying to sit through an elaborate froufrou baby shower complete with fifty guests, pink streamers, a cutsie cake, and silly party games is almost comical."

Kate opened her mouth to speak, but Rick halted her with a finger to her lips, "uh-uh."  
>Then he turned the book so she could see it clearly. He pointed to the entry at the top of the left side of the page just above the names of all the guests that had attended her mother's baby shower. He was clearly waiting for her to read it. She took a moment to look across the page at a few of the pictures that had been taken that day some thirty-two years prior. There were streamers, pink and blue since the Beckett's had opted not to find out what they were having in advance. There was a cake shaped like a baby carriage decorated with green frosting, and finally there was a picture of one of her mom's colleagues with at least a yard of toilet paper in her hand trying to guess the circumference of Johanna's belly.<p>

Finally she read aloud, "'_My sweet one,'" _That's what Johanna Beckett called her only child before she knew if the child would be a Katherine or a James. _"'Today all our loved ones gathered together to celebrate the precious gift we've been given.'"_

Rick closed the book and took Kate's hand. "It's not about gifts. It's about the people we love, who love us, and our little girls. It's about them wanting to celebrate our miracle with us just like your parents' friends did with them." He waited expectantly.

Kate wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him in for a soft kiss. "You're right and thank you."

Rick kissed her quickly on the nose then hooked his free arm with hers, leading her toward the loft. He stopped just short of the entrance with his hand on the knob. "Oh yeah, one more thing." His canary eating grin was back.

"What?"

"Since you were so adamant about not _needing_ anything we decided to make it a _White_ _Elephant_ party." He swung the door open and everyone yelled…

"Surprise!"

xxxxxxxxxx

"Can I come in?"

"Sure thing." Alexis closed the laptop and climbed across her bed to sit next to Kate. "What's up?"

Kate stretched her arm over her daughter's shoulders. "I just wanted to thank you for a wonderful evening. You were an absolutely spectacular hostess, even better than your dad; just don't tell him I said that."

Alexis laughed, "Your secret's safe with me. Besides, you already thanked me."

"I know I just wanted to say it again."

"It wasn't too much? I mean, I know how much you hate stuff like that." Alexis picked nervously at the hem of her nightgown.

Kate replayed the evening in her mind. Despite the _White Elephant_ announcement by Rick, the event was more dinner-party-like; not the typical baby shower at all. Alexis, Jim, and Martha had prepared an elegant dinner. There was Chicken Kiev; of course Rick thought that was hilarious, some asparagus roasted with garlic and olive oil, which everyone thought was delicious despite the boys repeated complaints of how bad their pee would smell later, and a delectable turtle cheesecake for dessert, complete with a tiny plastic baby hidden inside for one lucky guest to find. Or unlucky considering Jenny almost chipped a tooth when she bit down on the hard little thing. Not to worry; the prize, a huge gift basket complete with enough high-end lotions and bath oils to last her a year, was well worth the toothache. Alexis had thought of everything.

"It was too much wasn't it?" Alexis' downtrodden demeanor pulled Kate from her reverie.

"No, it was absolutely perfect. And I don't hate things like that it's just…" Kate hesitated.

"Just what?" Unlike her father, Alexis never let Kate off the hook easily.

"My mom loved all that normal traditional family kind of stuff, so I spent more than a decade trying to avoid anything normal or traditional because it reminded me of her. It just hurt so much to be reminded..."

"I'm sorry Kate… I didn't mean… I just wanted to do something special…"

"Shh Sweetie" Kate cupped the sides of Alexis' face, smoothing some flyaway hair as she did so. She kissed the crown of the youngsters head. "It was perfect and _so_ _very_ special. Tonight I was able to remember and it didn't hurt, not once. You did that; in fact you do that every day."

Alexis smiled; it took Kate's breath away. Yet another way she _was_ just like her father. "I do?"

"You do, and I'm sorry I don't tell you that more often. I want you to know that loving you isn't just a side effect of loving your dad. You make my life so much more than I ever thought was possible. I love you Lex." Kate wasn't sure why but for some reason she'd just needed Alexis to know that.

"I love you too Kate."

They sat in companionable silence for awhile; Alexis laid her head on Kate's shoulder. Kate actually had come upstairs with the intention of having a heart-to-heart with Alexis, but she'd clearly gotten sidetracked. She needed to ask Alexis something but wasn't sure how to bring it up. Finally she just dove in.

"Hey Lex, can you tell me what you think the role of a godparent is?"

Alexis stiffened in her embrace; just as Kate had anticipated. The flicker of hurt that had flared in Alexis' eyes earlier in the evening hadn't gone unnoticed by the seasoned Detective.

"What do you mean?" Alexis was being evasive; a tactic Kate had plenty of experience with.

"Well, it means different things to different people. Have you ever thought about what it means to you?" When Alexis just shook her head Kate could tell that the girl wasn't being honest but this wasn't an interrogation; Alexis wasn't a suspect so she just continued. "Well, some people think it means that if anything were to happen to both parents that it is the responsibility of the godparents to step in and raise the children that have been left behind."

"Makes sense." Alexis sounded defeated.

"But that's not what it means to me?"

Alexis raised her head and looked questioningly at Kate. "It's not?"

"No, see we can't possibly teach the girls everything they need to know about life. They're going to need other role models, and they'll be times your dad and I will need help. In my opinion that's what the godparents are for, and I know that no matter the situation Lanie and Javier will be there for us and for the girls when we need them to be."

"I get that."

"However," Kate continued. "They're not married; they're not even engaged so to consider asking them to raise our children together in the event…" Kate couldn't finish that sentence, not with Alexis looking up at her with those shiny blue eyes. "Anyway, it just… They're not that type of godparents."

"And if something were to happen to both of you? Are Jenny and Detective Ryan a better choice?"

Kate nodded, "They would be, but only as a backup; only if our first choice says no."

"You're first choice?"

Kate took Alexis by the shoulders, "Your dad and I have thought long and hard about this. It's not something we take lightly and we know you won't either…" She paused to try another approach, she wasn't trying to intimidate the girl into or out of it; she wanted Alexis to make her own decision. "God forbid anything would happen to Rick and me, these girls; whether they be babies, children, or teenagers, would need someone to step up. We really want that someone to be you."

"Kate?"

"I know it's a lot to ask; your young and single right now, but you won't be forever. We don't want an answer tonight; maybe not even tomorrow. Think about it ok?"

Alexis nodded.

"Just a couple of things to consider while you're deciding. First, money will not be a problem; your dad has already made sure that no matter what, all of our children will be well provided for. Secondly, you'll be in different stations in life over the next couple of decades; only say yes if you can see yourself doing this whether you're a young college student, a twenty something career minded adult, and or a thirty something married mother of four. And last but not least, you've got to promise me that you will raise them to be as absolutely perfect you are."

xxxxxxxxxx

"Hey"

"Watcha doing?" Kate eased herself into one of the dining room chairs and watched her husband as he gathered up boxes and wrapping paper before shoving them into a black garbage bag.

"Just trying to clean all this up."

Kate looked around the loft. He had apparently already cleaned up the dishes and the decorations. All that remained was the gifts.

"Why don't you leave this, we can take care of it in the morning?"

"No way Jose," Rick stopped what he was doing to hit Kate with a sloppy wet kiss. "Tomorrow is the First Annual Castle Family Dark Ages Day."

"How cheesy are you, really?"

"Very." He winked at her and continued with his chore. "Make yourself useful and fold those."

Kate glared at him with squinted eyes. "Are you calling me lazy?"

"Ha! No, but I'm not exactly calling you domestic either." Again he stopped to kiss her before heading toward the door with the refuse. "Be right back."

Kate stood and made her way to the opposite end of the large table. Rick had emptied all the gift boxes and the contents were now in a pile waiting to be folded. As she sorted the assortment of onsies and bibs she couldn't help but laugh once again at the pithy one-liners across the front of each.

"We did pretty good, huh?"

Kate startled; she hadn't heard him return from the hall. "Yeah, you guys are pretty clever. How did you do it by the way?" It just dawned her that they had to have them all custom made.

"Oh, I know a guy."

Rick plopped down in the chair next to where Kate stood. He slid the folded stacks across the tabletop and gestured for her to sit next to him. "I think I like this set the best." He pulled out two matching onsies that read '_Stop Or My Mom Will Shoot!'_ in bold pink letters. "Oh wait, Lanie outdid herself on these though." Rick held up a pair of bibs; both had a picture of a spoon and what looked like a few spilled Cheerios next to the words _'Cereal Killer'._

"Good but morbid." Kate shook her head.

"Appropriate don't you think?"

"I guess but they will _not_ be wearing those out in public, _ever_." Kate grabbed the garments from Rick's hand and returned them to the stack. She dug out another pair. "I think Espo's idea was truly inspired." Somehow he had had the bibs designed to look like tiny pink Bullet Proof Vests, but instead of_ 'NYPD'_ or '_Writer'_ written in white across the chests these read '_Offspring'._"

"Hey, you're supposed to like mine the best." Rick stuck out his bottom lip and whined.

Kate didn't need to see them to remember the onsies her clever husband had given her. One set read _'My Mommy Oozes Subtext' _and the other said _'I Really Am Ridiculously Adorable Aren't I?' _She reached over to trace his lip with her thumb. "That goes without saying."

Rick snagged the pad of her thumb between his front teeth. After a brief nip of the plump flesh he took her hand and placed soft kissesin the palm. "I think it's past someone's bedtime." As if on cue he yawned. "And by someone I mean me. You ready to for bed?"

"With you? Always."


	34. Chapter 34

**For those of you that follow me on twitter ((at)mcnevs); the mini Castle Marathon worked. So here is chapter 34. Not so sure it's anything more substantial than mere mush, but what can I say? Maybe we all need a little mush to get us through this Castleless Monday.**

**Don't own them because if I did a Castleless Monday would surely be illegal.**

**xxxxxxxxxx**

"I spy a color that you don't see and the color is…" Castle's eyes darted around the bedroom.

"Come on Dad, I don't think there's anything left in this room that we haven't already spied."

Castle collapsed his head back down on the pillow. He nudged Alexis' arm with his elbow, "I think your right. Give me sec to think of another one."

The father and daughter were both lying in bed; Alexis was situated between himself to her right and a sleeping Kate to her left. They were shoulder-to-shoulder; both staring up at the beamed ceiling. Alexis fell silent while he racked his brain for another game to play; he really should have put a little more planning into this _Castle Family Dark Ages Day_ thing.

"How hard is it?"

"Hey, cut me some slack here. There are only so many games that can be played while lying in a bed. Well, that I can play with my daughter anyway."

"Eww Dad," Alexis shoved both palms against his bicep, "that's disgusting!"

"Shh," Castle chuckled and grabbed at his daughter's assaulting hands. "You'll wake Kate."

Alexis stilled and scooted back toward her father. Castle had no idea how Kate had managed to sleep through what was now approaching the third hour of he and Alexis playing multiple rounds of _Name That Tune_, _This is Your Literary Character Life, and I Spy: The Crayola Crayon 64-Pack version. _They had been diligent to keep the volume down but still…

"You didn't answer my question."

"What question was that, Pumpkin?" Castle pretended not to remember, but he had sensed the solemn tone when she'd asked it. He'd been anticipating this conversation all morning. He and Kate had talked about it at length before she posed the guardianship issue with Alexis. They both felt that if Castle had been the one to broach the subject, Alexis would've agreed instantly without giving it the suitable thought required. Having Kate do it allowed Alexis just enough space emotionally for her to consider her choices properly. Of course they both knew the youngster well enough to know that she would turn to her father about it eventually. Sometimes parenting required a little well-meaning manipulation.

"What Kate asked me last night…?" Castle turned and propped himself up on his left elbow; he looked down at her and smiled; encouraging her to continue. "I need to know… How hard was it, being a single parent?"

"Well, if you're asking me to compare it to any other kind of parenting, I can't; not yet anyway." He nodded past his daughter to the back of his sleeping wife's head. "If you give me a few years…"

"I assume you guys need an answer sooner than that?"

"True, we have an appointment with the attorney next week."

"No pressure then." Alexis laughed, but it sounded a little too sardonic for his liking.

"Well, I'm sure I had it better than most single dads out there."

"How so?"

"For starters, I did have the perfect child… Ouch! Why is it that all the woman in my life enjoy using me as a punching bag?" Castle rubbed the sore spot where his daughter's elbow had landed firmly against his chest. "_Fine,_ my job made it easier for sure. Obviously I never had to choose between paying the electric bill and buying diapers."

"So having money makes parenting easier?" Alexis asked in an all too accusatory tone.

"When you have to be on top every single thing that may or may not affect your child, the last thing you need to worry about is where the next meal is coming from."

Alexis nodded, "Makes sense."

"Plus, I got to make all the decisions; no questions asked. If I said bedtime was at eight then bedtime was at eight." He saw the look in her eyes; the look reminding him that he never once enforced bedtime because there never was a bedtime to enforce. "Just indulge me for once."

"Fine, but you're walking a thin line between fantasy and reality here don't you think?"

"Secondly, since I was able to work from home I didn't have to share you with anyone." His mind trailed off for a second before he continued to speak. "Did you know you took your first steps right here in this room?"

Alexis sat up and looked around. "I did?"

"Yep, right there." He pointed to the stretch of floor between the end of the bed and one of the high-back chairs flanking the doorway to the study. "Seven steps." Castle sat up next to Alexis. He pulled his knees up to his chest so she could lean back against his shins. "It was a Sunday morning; you were nine months old. I had just spent a week feverishly trying to meet a deadline; barely made it too. I was exhausted and just needed a day to crash; no writing, no appearances."

"So maybe today isn't actually the first _Castle Family Dark Ages Day_ after all?" Even from behind he could tell she was smiling; her ears lifted slightly on the sides of her head. He reached out and tugged on the tail of her tightly braided hair. "Where was Meredith?"

"Oh, off filming something; a toothpaste commercial if memory serves." Castle always made a point not to lie to Alexis. Of course lying and glossing over the details are two very different things. Alexis was well aware of Meredith's indiscretions as a wife and mother, but that didn't mean she needed to hear about her mother taking her toothpaste role so seriously that she and the Director decided to check each other for cavities; with their tongues. "So when you woke up at the crack of dawn, because heaven forbid you'd sleep in just once, I brought you in here to play while I rested. I watched you stand there while you contemplated it; one chubby hand on the bed and the other outstretched." Castle tapped her shoulder and gestured past her to the chair. It wasn't the same chair as the one back then; he had redecorated after Meredith and again after Gina. "Then without so much as a hitch in your step you toddled right over to it. It was as if you had been walking all along." He closed his eyes to replay the moment in his mind. The way she pounded her hands against the upholstery before clapping them in high praise of her own achievement. The way she looked back over her shoulder at him; the gleam in her crystal-blue eyes so brilliant. "Not many dads get to see their daughters do that." Castle reached out and massaged her shoulders.

"Was there ever a time that you thought maybe I _wasn't_ your daughter?" Yep, she definitely knows her mother.

He answered instantly without hesitation, "You have _never_ not been my daughter; not even for one second." He squeezed again.

"But it was a possibility right?"

Castle took a deep breath. No lies; he had to remind himself. "If I've learned anything working with the NYPD, it's that anything's possible." Castle didn't know what more to say; wasn't sure if Alexis even had more to ask. He waited. The room fell silent except for the soft sounds of the traffic below, the fanciful springtime whistling of birds just beyond the window pane, and the distant toll of the bells atop Trinity Church signaling the benediction of Sunday mass.

Having also heard the familiar toll, Alexis jumped, "Oh no! Is it that late already?" She looked over her shoulder at him much like she had that day so long ago. "I gotta go!"

Castle held her shoulders tighter, "Noooo!"

"Dad! I have to meet Ashley at noon." She tried to shake herself free of his grasp.

"But… who's going to keep me entertained?" He wrapped Alexis in a bear hug from behind pulling her down so he could clamp her legs between his knees.

Alexis giggled has her father started tickling her, "That's your problem not mine. Besides you're always telling me how _good_ Kate is at _entertaining_ you."

"Oh, I'm so proud; you've finally learned to speak innuendo!" Castle dug his chin into his daughter's back causing her to shriek. She wiggled her long legs free, but the subsequent attempt to gain some leverage with them resulted in something else altogether. They both froze…

"Oh my god?" Alexis whispered, "I kicked her leg."

"I _so_ wouldn't want to be you right now." Castle sing-songed. "Interrupting her sleep is a worse offense than messing with her chair."

"Let me go."

"And let you escape? No way, she'll think it was me."

Alexis began struggling against him again, "Exactly, she wouldn't dare shoot the father of her unborn children."

"Wanna bet?" Kate's voice sounded heavy with sleep. She stretched and wiped at her eyes but didn't turn to face her assailant. Before she knew what was happening, the bed jolted beneath her and Alexis landed on the floor in front of her with a thud. It was a perfect two-point landing. Kate wondered if the girl had ever taken gymnastics but Alexis was speaking before she had a chance to ask.

"I'm so sorry, did I hurt you? Look, I'm supposed to meet Ash in like thirty minutes." She gave Kate a quick kiss on the cheek. "Morning. I promise next year I'm in for the whole _Dark Day_." She ran out of the room; her stocking-feet sliding over the smooth hardwood. "Love you both!"

Kate couldn't help but giggle softly at Alexis' antics. They were going to have their hands full if Erin and Elena turned out anything like their big sister; which Kate prayed every day that they would.  
>Kate felt Rick's hot breath pass over her cheek seconds before his equally hot lips met the same spot as he settled in directly behind her. He propped his head in his left hand; arm bent at the elbow just above her head on the pillow. He traced the shell of her right ear with his fingertips.<p>

She echoed Alexis' sentiment, "Morning."

"Mmm-hmm," was his only answer as he nudged the spot behind her ear with his nose.

Kate reached back using her hand as a buffer between his whiskery chin and the bare skin on her neck. "Too scratchy." He rubbed his face purposefully along the back of her hand before turning her face up towards his. Her smiling lips mirrored his as they met. "Morning breath," Kate spoke between kisses.

"I like it..." Rick continued his succession of chaste kisses never fully breaking the contact of their lips even as he continued to speak. "Just a smelly reminder… that I get to… wake up next… to you everyday… for always…"

"Smelly?" Kate tried to sound offended but his mouth devoured the effort.

"Fragrant?"

"Uh-uh…"

"Aromatic?"

"Eww..."

"Delicious?"

"Okay, that's just disgusting!"

Rick laughed against her mouth, "Not the first time I've heard that today."

He gave her one last kiss before shifting down her body. She closed her eyes and relished in the feel of his lips as they trailed down her arm. She giggled at the tickling sensation caused by his nibbling teeth on the sensitive area just inside her elbow. Her blood sang through her body as he gently sucked the plump flesh at the base of her thumb. Finally her heart melted, just like it did every morning, when he reached his intended destination.

"Hey babies," Rick whispered against the top of her belly. "It's Daddy." Kate stroked the back of his head as he continued to talk to their daughters. "You two aren't gonna ditch me like Sissy did, are you?"

Kate dug her nails into his scalp; not hard, but enough to get his attention, "Need I remind you of how I feel about guilt trips?" She trailed her hand down his neck and underneath the collar of his tee-shirt to lightly scratch his back.

"Ooh, Mommy's got her grouchy voice on today." Rick reached beneath the sheet to tap at her bare tummy. "Probably because I called her smelly."

"Or maybe because someone kicked me in my sleep."

"Come on girls; go easy on your Momma, huh?"

"We both know I wasn't talking about them." Kate clawed at the hard muscle of his back.

"Yeah, and we both know you weren't asleep either." Rick flipped his head over; she saw the knowing look in his eyes. From Kate's vantage point his position looked awkward. His lower body was sort of spooned up behind, or maybe even under hers. He had managed to twist around her torso so he could lay his head on her right breast; his own personal pillow. She had no idea where his left arm was but his right was underneath her nightgown, somehow wrapped around her abdomen.

"What gave me away?"

"First of all, not even Rip Van Winkle could sleep through Alexis squealing like that."

"And secondly?" Kate raised an eyebrow.

"Your pillow's wet, and we both know that I'm the only drooler in the family. Well, till these two come along anyway." He tapped the side of her belly again. "What got to you? Was it my emotional rendition of _Rock and Roll All Nite_? Because had I been playing with you I'd have chosen _I Was Made for Loving You_ or maybe even _Lick It Up_." He waggled his eyebrows up at her. "Ouch!" He jumped up, forcing Kate to loosen the grip she suddenly had on the nape of his neck. "I swear, I'm in serious need of full body armor lately!"

Kate took advantage of the separation between their bodies and scooted to a seated position against the headboard. "Ooh, Daddy's got his whiny voice on today," Kate mocked. "What's the matter Daddy? Going through electronic device withdrawal already?"

Rick leaned in and wiped the remaining moisture from her left eye and cheek with the pad of his thumb before laying his head in her lap, leaning his cheek against the baby bump. He had flipped onto his back and Kate smoothed the hair on his forearm with her fingertips. He was watching her; waiting for a serious answer to his not so serious question.

"When did she notice?" She wouldn't make it easy on him.

"Who?"

"Meredith… How long until she noticed Alexis could walk?"

Kate watched him close his eyes as if the darkness could will back the tears, or maybe the anger, or both. She slid her hand up his arm to lace her fingers with his against his chest. His heartbeat quickened under their hands; his breathing labored. The things Meredith had done to this man; Kate had to fend off her own anger. She smoothed his bed-mussed hair with her free hand, traced the crooked line of his nose; waited.

Finally he answered, "Not until her first birthday." He opened his eyes; still so full of pain.

"Oh Castle," she whispered. She lifted his hand from his chest and placed it on top of her stomach; she made him another promise though she used no words.

"Not having to share Alexis with anyone also meant I didn't have anyone to share her with." He kissed the underside of her belly.

Then, as if on cue, it happened. Rick's eyes lit up; all hurt and regret dissolved. He jumped up and was on his knees beside her in an instant. "Was that what I think it was?" His hands were suddenly everywhere at once. Kate smiled through the slight pain and nodded. The babies moved a lot but with such little space in her womb to move around, their movements were usually small and hard to feel from the outside. However what they had just felt could only be described as a kick, and a hard one at that. "She kicked! I felt it!"

Kate half-laughed, half-groaned; she wasn't sure which really. "Yeah, so did I." She rubbed the exact spot that Elena had just kicked. She knew from the multiple ultrasounds that Baby A was up front and Baby A, they had already decided, was Elena. "Ouch." Kate grabbed her husband's hand and pressed it to the lower left side of her stomach, close to her hip just in time for them both to feel another quick jab just beneath her skin.

"Holy cow!" Rick was practically giddy. "That was a hard one. I think we may have a soccer player in there Mommy." He spoke to her stomach but addressed her.

"Actually," Kate contemplated the location of the jab. "I think that may have been an elbow."

"An elbow?" Rick's voice cracked as he asked it; his Adam's Apple bobbed almost incredulously.

Kate couldn't help but laugh again, "What can I say? Like mother like daughters."

He threw himself backward landing on his pillow with Martha-like flair. He even completed the dramatic scene with an arm to his forehead; his free hand covering his gut. "Is it tomorrow yet, because I am _so_ ordering that body armor."

Kate eased down beside him; she kissed his chin, stubble and all. "I'm glad the day isn't over yet. You know why?"

"Hmm?" Rick tilted his head to place a kiss on the top of her head.

"_Best Castle Family Dark Ages Day_ ever."


	35. Chapter 35

**I only have two words: Kill Shot**

**xxxxxxxxxx**

Kate was already showered and dressed. Everything was packed and ready to go. She sat down gingerly on her husband's side of the bed. She hated that she had to disturb him, so she'd waited until the last possible moment. Much like herself; Rick had been finding it difficult to get a good night's sleep over the last few weeks. Despite every effort on her part not to disturb him while she struggled to find a comfortable position, he always insisted on doing everything possible to comfort her. Even if it meant lying awake for hours rubbing her back, telling her stories, or just acting as her human body pillow; something he had become extremely skilled at.

Kate ran a gentle hand across his broad back. "Hey Rick?" she whispered; he barely stirred. She nudged a little harder then slid her hand up to the back of his head; she traced the shell of his ear with her thumb. "Can you wake up for a sec?"

"Hmm?" Rick's eyes opened and closed a few times. "Kate?" he was still pretty much out of it.

"Don't panic." Her voice was still a whisper; both because she didn't want to startle him, and because it was all she could manage at the moment.

Rick was up the instant the words left her mouth. The force of his movement almost bounced her from the mattress, but he managed to grab her by the forearms; he held her steadfast. "Wha-what's wrong?"

The crazy bed head he was sporting somehow struck her funny as it played in contrast to the sheer terror in his eyes. She managed a quick chuckle, despite the cramp that was peaking across her midsection. With one hand tightly fisted in the material of his tee-shirt; she used the other in a meager attempt to sooth away the ache. She took in a cleansing breath and blew it out as the tightening slowly unwound and finally came to an end, albeit temporary. "Way to not panic there Castle."

"Not funny Kate!" He palpated her belly as the cramping muscles eased. "How long; how far apart?"

"A few hours now and they run anywhere from ten to twelve minutes apart."

Rick glanced at the clock on the nightstand. "Kate?" He cupped her face in his large hands and stroked her cheeks, "Why didn't you wake me sooner?"

"I wanted to be sure. Besides you need all the beauty rest you can get." She winked at him even as she ran her thumb over the worry lines that had settled between his eyes.

"And are you?"

"Am I what?"

"Sure?"

Kate couldn't hold back the smile. "Yeah, I'm sure..." She watched his eyes light up with excitement, "…and if you tell anyone I said this I'll deny it, but I'm kinda scared shitless." She sagged forward to rest her head against Rick's neck as he wrapped her in his arms.

"Right there with you, Babe."

Kate breathed in a ragged breath and buried her face in the warmth of her husband's chest. She really was terrified. It didn't matter how many books she'd read, how much info the Doctor had provided them, or how many times she was assured that childbirth was a natural process. Right now Kate felt like she was standing on the precipice of a great unknown, and the only thing keeping her from falling headlong into the abyss was the man currently holding her in a loving embrace.

They stayed like that for a few more minutes; tangled up, neither one willing to move beyond this moment. Both mentally preparing themselves, not only for what the next few hours held but for how much their lives were about to change. For the better if that was even possible.

"Thank you." She murmured into his shirt.

She felt his body jerk as he chuckled a response, "For what?"

"Everything." _For being you, for giving me these children, for this life_; so much she couldn't elaborate. _Everything,_ would just have to cover it all.

"Breath through it." Rick's voice was low and soothing against her ear as another wave of pain hit.

It took a concerted effort just to breathe and relax for the entire sixty-second contraction. Kate was intent on following Dr. Candace's advice as much as possible. The older woman had warned Kate that her excellent physical condition could work against her during labor. Flexing her strong abdominal muscles during a contraction could be counter-productive to the uterus's ultimate goal of pushing the babies down into the pelvis. Rick massaged her lower back and supported her weight as she became practically boneless and melted into him. She rode the wave from buildup to crescendo then down the other side, making sure to breathe the whole time. At this point the pain was intense but, much to her surprise, bearable.

"What do you need me to do?" She could hear the depth of his concern.

"Just hold me for another minute."

"Forever if that's what you want; all you have to do is ask."

When she was finally able, Kate pulled back, ready for business. "Ok, so I put my iPod and wallet in the suitcase, the only thing missing is the camera and anything you might want to keep yourself entertained with. Go grab a shower while I wake Alexis."

He kissed her temple then climbed from the bed to do as he was told, but suddenly stopped and bent to his knees in front of her. He rested his cheek on her belly, "Hey babies, it won't be long now." Kate ran her fingers through his hair as he placed soft kisses across her body. "Don't go giving your Momma any trouble today, huh?"

Kate threw her head back and laughed, "Too late for that, I assure you."

She watched as all the playfulness left him. Rick closed his eyes against an onslaught of emotions. He slipped his hands up underneath the hem of her tank top seeking a deeper connection, not only with her but also with their daughters. The warmth of his skin penetrated straight to her soul, but the way he whispered and the depth of his love actually stirred her spirit.

"She's my life, Little Ones. I need you to know that; your Mommy is my Life."

Oh, it was _so_ going to be a day; not just physically but emotionally, as well.

xxxxxxxxxx

Kate stood just outside the closed door to Alexis' room. She gripped the knob and fought the urge to double over in pain. Where was Rick when she needed him? She was quickly finding it almost impossible to relax while doing things like standing, walking, or even thinking. She glanced at her father's watch as she recovered; eight minutes. As she registered the new information she heard giggling from the other side of the door. She knocked lightly.

"Come in."

Kate was surprised to see Alexis wide awake with her laptop resting on her knees. "Hey Kate, just Skyping with Shelby." Kate's face must have said it all because Alexis practically dropped the computer on the floor in her attempt to make space on the edge of the bed for Kate to sit. "Uh, Shelby… I gotta go. By the looks of my mom's face I think I might be a big sister by the end of the day."

Kate eased herself down and leaned over to see Alexis' new best friend on the screen. "Hey girl." The words were meant to be cheerful, but the residual fatigue from each contraction was taking Kate longer and longer to shake off; her words fell flat.

"Hey Kate, I'll let you guys go. Lexie, talk to you later, huh?"

"I'll text you with the deets."

Kate shook her head, "God, your father would die if he heard you killing the English language like that."

"I'll say a prayer for you and the girls, Kate. Oh, and for Rick too."

"Thanks for that." Kate managed a small smile at the girl then Alexis closed the laptop and tossed it off her lap. She was on her knees next to Kate in an instant. Yep, just another exuberant Castle to deal with.

"Oh my god, oh my god!" She hopped up and down. "Are you serious? Where's Dad? I have to call Grams. Come on, let's go!"

"Whoa, hold up there." Kate put her hands on the youngster's shoulders to hold her still. "I already called the Doctor. She wants us there no later than five." Kate looked at her watch again. "That gives us about an hour." Or seven more god-awful contractions, she said to herself and grimaced at the thought. "Your Dad's in the shower. I was going to ask if you wanted to come with us, but since you clearly haven't been to bed yet, how about you get some sleep and meet us there a little later? There'll be plenty of time, I'm sure." Kate raised an eyebrow, "Seriously, Skype at four in the morning?"

Alexis smiled widely, "It's only three where she is."

"Like that's any better… Oh hell…"

"Kate!"

"I'm fine, just give me a sec." Kate did her best to breathe through it. She tried to concentrate on her breathing; did her best to ignore the goosebumps erupting on her skin. Each hair stood at attention causing every nerve in her body to tingle, and not in a good way. She sensed the sudden unease that had replaced the initial excitement in Alexis, but was too preoccupied at that very moment to offer any comfort to her eldest child. With a long whooshing exhale Kate finally spoke, "Okay… Okay, it's over."

"Kate?"

"It's natural Sweetie; completely natural." Kate slid a shaky hand down Alexis' arm to reassure her; or maybe to reassure herself.

"Where's Dad?" Alexis was almost in tears.

"What?" Kate laughed on a swallowed sob. "Chickening out on me already?"

xxxxxxxx

Castle showered faster than he ever had, _ever_. His mind raced. He was so excited to meet his girls, finally. He was also scared out of his mind with worry over what Kate would have to experience during childbirth; over what she would have to endure.

After getting dressed he shoved the camera, his journal and iPad into the large suitcase that He and Kate had finished packing just a few days prior; barely under-the-wire so it seemed. He wheeled the large case toward the bedroom door. He stopped to take a deep breath, calm the nerves, and clear his racing mind.

She was the strongest person he'd ever known, and she was scared. Well then, he would just have to be strong enough for the both of them. He took one more beat to settle his knotted stomach. Today was about her; about them, his beautiful precious wife, and their equally precious babies. Castle spent four years watching and learning. He knew every nuance of Katherine Beckett's personality; her wants, her needs, what bothered her, what soothed her. He'd stupidly thought that knowledge had already served its purpose when he set pen to paper. Now he knew better. Today would be the day he would really put that understanding to use. Anything she needed, anything she wanted he would be there to provide it. He was her partner after all.

"Hey, my four favorite girls." Rick announced as he made his way across the living room.

Alexis stood behind a seated Kate at the bar and chatted away nervously while braiding Kate's long soft hair. Her fingers worked the silky tresses into submission almost as fast as her mouth blurted out nonsensical information about the time difference between New York and Ohio, then New York as opposed to California, and finally Ohio to California. Oh yea, the girl was a nervous wreck too. Kate seemed to murmur in understanding every-so-often, even as she white-knuckled the granite in front of her.

Rick handed Alexis a rubber band from the countertop then waited for her to finish before folding his arms across her chest. He kissed the top of her head and waited for the nervous energy to subside. It was a trick he'd learned long ago with his firstborn; apply pressure and the jitters seemed to melt away.

"Thanks Pumpkin."

He ran his thumb down Kate's thick rope of hair. Kate reached back and took his hand. Her palm was sweaty and her nails dug into his skin. Alexis wriggled free and kissed his cheek.

"I figured she had enough to deal with today, her hair shouldn't be one of them."

"You're a genius."

He turned to wink at his daughter and leaned back into the bar at Kate's side. Her eyes were closed and her chest rose and fell with focused deliberation. He felt her belly to confirm his suspicion, but pulled back suddenly when she whimpered against the pressure. She grabbed his wrist and pressed his flattened palm into her stomach.

"It's a good pain; it helps." She spoke through clenched teeth.

"You gotta relax, Love." He swept a flyaway hair behind her ear. There always seemed to be a few of those. "Do you have any idea of extraordinary you are?"

"I may have heard that somewhere before."

She opened her eyes. He saw so many beautiful things; love, fear, excitement, but mostly love. He kissed her, he couldn't help himself. He didn't care that she wasn't able to give much back. She was already giving so much.

"How close?"

She glanced at her watch but Alexis was answering for her, "Seven minutes." Kate nodded.

"Okay then, let's get going. Just enough time to get to the car before another one hits."

Alexis grabbed the suitcase and her own backpack then headed for the door. "I'll call the elevator."

Rick helped Kate stand. "Here we go Momma."

She smiled up at him. "Here we go."

**xxxxxxxxxx**

**Kind of a filler chapter to get a glimpse of their mindsets as they head into this whole childbirth thing. I know most fics have Kate practically spewing babies out in-between cases, usually in an elevator or maybe on the floor of the loft. I mean she's good, but she's not that good. I feel there is so much we can learn about them during this very emotional circumstance. **

**I have the next few chapters mapped out, but I think I may need some opinions first. Is less more? I tend to want to watch as the whole thing unfolds. I want to feel the emotions as the feel them. How about you all? But just so you know, Kate will be a trooper either way, and I don't foresee any bumps in the road; like I said, she's good. **

**And don't worry, I see this thing going for at least another ten chapters or so, either way. **


	36. Chapter 36

**Yay! I'm so glad you all are just as sappy as me and want to see it all. I will try not to get into too much of the yucky stuff but it might be unavoidable. **

**Sorry nmcowgirl08, I just don't see Kate as a screamer.**

**Thank you Elmia, I'm so glad you think I've improved with time. I looked back over TMYFML and am almost embarrassed at how bad my writing was. Now I just need to go back and fix all my typos (that continue into this story I might add), but that would take forever.**

**I agree with you boreeester; so totally ruined!**

**There are a couple of very short flashbacks in this one so be mindful of the _italics._**

**I know I've said it before but the sap is flowing extra thick in this one.**

**I own nothing but the crush; both for Stana and Nathan… **

**xxxxxxxxxx**

"Knock-knock"

Both Kate and Rick turned toward the door of her hospital room just as Lanie's knuckles rapped against the metallic frame. Alexis sat in the corner with her ear buds in.

"Hey Lanie," Kate's voice was deep and ragged; exhausted, "come on in." She waved for her friend to cross the threshold. "Maybe now these two will actually listen to me and go get something to eat."

Lanie traversed the room and tugged at Rick's shoulder urging him to his feet. She wrapped him in a quick hug. "Go! Let me and my girl have some time to dish."

She shoved him away from Kate's bedside, but Rick wasn't going easily. He took up residence on Kate's opposite side. It had been a rough couple of hours. Contractions in the car had been pretty hard for Kate to relax through, not to mention the whole checking-in process. Then, once they got settled into the labor and delivery room she had been poked and prodded in so many different ways it made his head spin.

"Are you sure?" He was bent over; whispering in her ear. "I don't really want to leave you."

"I'm good." She gave him a weary smile. "Just don't be gone for too long, okay."

Rick cupped the back of her head and pressed a long kiss to her temple. He needed to breathe her in for just a second; give her some of his strength or maybe take in some hers, he wasn't sure which. Only then was he ready; he snapped upright and clapped his hands together before pulling Alexis up from the chair behind him. "Okay kiddo, let's go get some nourishment. We'll be back in about…" He looked at his watch, oh wait, it was Kate's dad's watch. She'd asked him to wear it after the nurse made her remove it at check in. "…four contractions, five at the most." He winked at his wife.

Kate leveled him with her patented Beckett glare, "Hey, no saying the C-word when I'm not actually having a C-word, remember?"

"Sorry." He looked truly apologetic.

"Castle!" Lanie was now in on the act. "Hit it!"

"Consider it hit," and he was gone.

Kate stared at the door even after Rick had disappeared through it.

"Mmm-mmm-mmm!" Lanie shook her head with each syllable.

"What?

"Is he serious with that getup?"

Kate glanced back to the doorway as if the only way to conjure up his image was by viewing the last place her eyes had seen him. He had dressed pretty casually in anticipation of a long day. He wore her favorite pair of jeans; they hugged his body in all the right ways. There were flip-flops on his feet; the way that man turned her on just by pairing some simple flip-flops with those perfectly fitting jeans. He'd finished off the ensemble with a dark blue tee-shirt… Oh, the tee-shirt? Kate could feel herself sporting the goofiest grin as she recalled the memory of her husband's exiting form. It wasn't a cheek torturing kind of grin; she didn't possess near enough energy for that. No, it was a mouth half open, crooked to one side kind of ridiculous looking grin. The kind of grin that simply said, _'I love that fool.' _

"Yeah, he thinks it's funny."

"Seriously, he thinks walking around the maternity ward wearing a shirt that says _'Sperm Donor' _is funny?"

Kate laughed; a tired little laugh, "Reads."

"What?"

"A shirt can't _say_ anything. It _reads_ _'Sperm Donor.'"_

Lanie stood from the chair and grabbed the chart off the end of Kate's bed. "Have they administered some sort of pain killers or something?"

Suddenly Kate's smile faded, "Oh god, don't I wish."

She threw her head back and closed her eyes as the contraction gained strength. It had taken quite a few of them for Kate to figure out which position felt the best, or hurt the least. She was currently seated almost upright with the mechanical bed practically at a right angle. Under the sheet her legs were spread in front of her but bent at the knees; the bottoms of her feet pressed together. Rick had shoved a pillow up under her sagging belly for added support. The babies had dropped a few weeks earlier, which blessedly allowed for much easier breathing but the trade-off had been an inability to walk upright without having to lean slightly back with a hand pressed against the small of her back.

Thankfully Lanie kept quiet. She almost couldn't stand it if anyone talked while she was in such utter agony. Rick and Alexis had learned that pretty quickly and would just stop whatever conversation they were in the middle of until the pain subsided. Kate was pretty amazed at their ability to just pick it right back up on the other side; amazed and thankful. She really didn't want to be one of those women she read about; the ones that would scream at, or blame their partners for the torture they had to endure.

Kate did her best to breathe through it. It was hard to relax _and_ firmly rub her hard belly; something Rick had been doing for her during every contraction since arriving at the hospital. It was odd; the rubbing did hurt, but like she'd told him at the loft, in a good way. It was like pressing on a bruise or flexing a sore muscle; an exquisite agony. She took in one last long cleansing breath and blew it out all-the-while wondering how she would make it through four more without him?

"You good?"

"For another six minutes or so, yeah."

"So," Lanie sat back down and held her best friend's hand, "how is it, really?"

Kate fought against the twinge of anger; everyone just needed to stop asking her that. Then she saw it in Lanie's eyes. She wasn't patronizing, wasn't asking just to be asking, or even asking as a medical professional. No, Lanie was asking as a woman; a woman who might someday consider going through what Kate herself was going through right now. What she had been going through for the last nine months.

"It's so odd you know?"

"No, I don't' know. I know as a Doctor but that's just so clinical."

Kate squeezed her eyes shut briefly against the onslaught of emotion. "It's the most powerful thing I've ever experienced, Lanie. I'm not talking about the pain, which is just freakishly horrible by the way." She shook her head and laughed. So did Lanie. "My mom, my job, the murderers, the victims…" To her own surprise there were no tears and her voice never faltered. "…none of that even exists right now. My mind is so focused, so one-tracked. I can't even think of anything but these babies," Kate spread her hands on each side of her stomach, "nothing, absolutely nothing matters but them, and Rick and Alexis. I was so scared this morning, but since then something just clicked; it's like I'm on auto-drive."

"Auto-drive?"

"Not auto-drive like a robot; not un-feeling." Kate rubbed her hand down her face; tried to clear her thoughts. "I've always thought I was put on this earth for one purpose; retribution for my mom. All the rest was just..."

"And now?"

"Now? I want to hold these little creatures in my arms so badly. My heart actually aches to know them. What they look like, who they are. I need, actually need to hear them, smell them, nourish them… I could go on and on. I can't explain it but _they_ are my purpose now; my children, my husband, our family. Being here for them, with them…"

"Wow…" Lanie just smiled.

"I know it sounds so…"

"So _not_ Katherine Beckett?" Lanie finished for her.

"Yeah," she whispered; almost with reverence. "Rick said something to me when we first started dating. He said that being a cop is what I do not what I am. It took me until today to know that he was right. What I am is his; _his_ wife, the mother of _his_ children." Kate dropped her face in her hands with a chuckle. "How did that happen?"

"I don't know Girl, but I'm so glad it did." Lanie eased onto the edge of the bed and wrapped her arms around Kate's shoulders. "I'm so happy for you."

"Oh, and apparently labor makes me cuss like a sailor." Kate warned as she stiffened, "Shit."

Lanie pulled back and laughed. "Another one?"

Kate nodded, "God Lanie, where's a good sperm donor when you need one?"

xxxxxxxxxx

"Okay, looks like you're at about five centimeters and the babies' seem to tolerating the labor beautifully." Dr. Candace helped Kate back to her left side having just checked her cervix for dilatation.

It was around one o'clock and everyone had come and gone at least once already. Well, Esposito had stuck his head in earlier to tell Lanie they needed to get to work. The tough veteran cop practically shook in his boots when confronted with the whole scene. Nonetheless, he promised to come back with Lanie in the afternoon. Ryan and Jenny were next; it was brief since they too were headed off to work, but at least he was much less nervous than his partner had been. In fact, the Detective was actually pretty curious about everything considering Jenny had recently talked him in to trying for a little bundle of their own. Martha stopped in around eleven to take Alexis out for a quick lunch, but only with a promise from that they would text with any and all updates while they were gone. Lastly, Jim Beckett had spent about thirty minutes at his daughter's bedside. Neither could say much; Kate was in too much physical pain, not unlike her father, but his pain was purely emotional.

_"This is just too hard for me to watch." The elder man explained to his son-in-law as he turned to leave. "I'll be in the waiting room for as long as it takes."_

_"Jim," Rick stopped Kate's dad with a hand to the elbow. "She'll be able to talk to you after the epidural. I'll come get you then."_

_"I'll try, Rick. It's just… there's too much of my Johanna in her today."_

"I think it's time to talk about pain relief." The Doctor looked to Rick.

"No," Kate forced out between clenched teeth. "I want to wait a little longer."

"Kate?" Rick pleaded.

She forced herself into a seated position. "Please, just a few more times down the hall and back?"

Rick's heart broke to see her beg. Kate Beckett ordered, demanded, commanded; she never begged. He knew that walking was better for her than sitting. Not that she was in any less pain when she walked, but at least she was doing something. Putting one foot in front of the other was so much better for her than just sitting, laying-in-wait for the next thunderous contraction to tear her in half.

The Doctor looked at the large clock on the wall and then back down at the strip of paper flowing out of the monitoring machine. "Thirty minutes, I'll be back. You can sit on the birthing ball till then, that's it." She reached down and patted Kate's knee through the thin sheet.

Rick sagged with relief; he couldn't bear to have to watch her struggle just to take a single step much less the twenty-eight it took to traverse the hall and back. Still, his fisted heart eased slightly, knowing the Doctor had at least given her something; his Kate deserved everything.

"Here," knowing the drill, Alexis was at his side with the large lavender ball that had been rolled into the corner of the large room.

"Thanks Pumpkin, you've been such a help to me today." He smiled at his daughter.

She was weary too, they all were. He had no idea how Kate was still doing it. Yeah, the chitter-chatter between contractions didn't always include her, but she did manage a weak smile or a quiet chuckle depending on the subject matter. She had walked the length of the hall and back eighteen times; five-hundred-and-four agonizingly slow steps. Each while experiencing so much pressure in the sensitive parts of her body that she actually cried into his chest through most of it; regardless of anyone watching or not.

"Yeah, thanks Sweetie." Kate was trying to climb from the bed on her own.

"Hey, no way." Rick placed Kate's hands on his hunched shoulders and supported her with his hands at her ribcage while he stood erect, pulling her to her feet.

"No way, huh?" She tried to look cross, but again couldn't afford the energy.

"That's right." He couldn't help but kiss her quickly for the effort.

Between the three of them they managed to get Kate situated on the ball with her forearms resting on the lower half of the bed in front of her. Rick had no idea why or how the birthing ball thing helped, or if it did, how someone had even come up with the idea in the first place. He didn't care really; he just knew that, when on the ball, Kate somehow managed to tolerate the contractions instead of just merely enduring them.

"Do you want your iPod, Kate?"

"Yes, please. That would be great, Alexis."

Rick marveled at his amazing daughter as she rifled through Kate's suitcase for the device. She had started out the day pretty nervous. She hadn't known what to say or do; what she could or couldn't touch. Not surprisingly Kate had stepped in to ease the tension.

_"Come here Alexis." Kate gestured for their daughter to set next to her. Alexis gingerly climbed in and they sat shoulder-to-shoulder. Kate pressed Alexis' hand into the front of her belly._ _"Feel that?"_

_Rick watched his daughter's eyes light up. "What is that?" _

_"I think that's a butt."_

_Alexis felt around at the little protrusion. Then Kate once again took the smaller paler hand into her own and lowered it to the underside of her abdomen. Rick cringed a little as together they forcefully squeezed in a very similar fashion as the Doctor had done just a few minutes prior._

_"Is that her back?" Alexis was in awe._

_"Pretty cool, huh?"_

_"Yeah, but please don't make me feel her head."_

"Dad, you wanna do the honors?" Alexis handed him the iPod. She was now sitting crossed legged on the bed in front of Kate; no longer afraid to be close to the action.

Rick scooted to the edge of his seat. He placed his feet on either side of the ball with his knees and thighs straddling Kate. His job was to massage her lower back or her belly while she rocked slightly. "Any requests?"

"Got anything that says _'I'm so sorry you're in pain with your hu-uge ass hanging out for the world to see?'"_

Rick couldn't help but laugh at her. He kissed her shoulder and winked up at Alexis who was rolling her eyes; purely for Kate's benefit he was sure.

"I'm sure it's the next big hit." Alexis deadpanned.

Rick scrolled through the choices. Kate had about a bazillion songs on this thing; he knew he could find something. "Got just the thing…" He waggled his eyelids at Alexis who didn't have time to shake her head disapprovingly before an up-tempo beat filled the room.

_I like big butts and I cannot lie_

"Dad!" "Castle!" His girls yelled in unison.

"Oops, sorry my thumb slipped." The music stopped abruptly. "Okay, let's try this one."

_She's a brick house_

"Oh my god, Dad! Are you serious?" Alexis looked at him almost horrified. Kate however, actually laughed. The sound was music to his ears. "That's not funny!" Alexis continued to scold him.

"Yeah, it kinda is." Kate managed to get out before the next contraction took over.

He dropped the iPod on the mattress and waited for her to let him know what to do. When her body rolled back and rested into his he immediately began to caress her front side. He allowed her to dictate the ebb and flow of the ball beneath her body, but was sure to stay completely fused to the length of her in an effort to support as much of her weight as she needed him to. She had told him earlier that the weightlessness of it helped ease the pressure down below.

When the intense pain subsided, Kate grabbed the iPod and handed it back to him. "Please, before the next one hits. Something a little less…"

"Offensive?" Alexis filled in for her.

"Yeah, that."

Kate continued to rock, but didn't lean away from him. Her left cheek rested against his right one. He could feel the brush of her eyelashes as her lids closed. He scrolled the menu one more time. Finally he found it. It began with a soft drum beat. He felt more than heard Kate's inward chuckle.

"It's not red, Castle."

He looked down at the peach nightgown she was wearing. He kissed her on the cheek and spoke just as the music began to play. "Poetic license."

"Oh, you're a poet now, huh?"

_"Poetry is, above all, an approach to the truth of feeling."_ He kissed her cheek again just as the lyrics begin to fill the room. "Dance with me?"

She whispered back, "With only you."

_I've never seen you looking so gorgeous as you did tonight  
>I've never seen you shine so bright, you were amazing<em>

_I've never seen so many people want to be there by your side_  
><em>And when you turned to me and smiled it took my breath away<em>  
><em>And I have never had such a feeling<em>  
><em>Such a feeling of complete and utter love, as I do tonight<em>

_The lady in red is dancing with me cheek to cheek_  
><em>There's nobody here, it's just you and me, it's where I wanna be<em>  
><em>Well I hardly know this beauty by my side<em>  
><em>I'll never forget the way you look tonight<em>

Alexis watched as her parents got lost in the moment, in each other. Her dad had taught her so many things throughout her life. There were the little things; how to ride a bike, how to tie her shoe, how to read, and how to dress. Then there was the more serious stuff; how to respect others, how to be compassionate, how to put others needs before your own, and even how to love.

But not until this moment; in of all places, a hospital room while listening to one of the cheesiest yet somehow so absolutely appropriate-for-the-moment songs, did Alexis Castle truly learn how she wanted to _be_ loved someday.


	37. Chapter 37

**So sorry for the delay. Christmas shopping has gotten in the way of my writing. **

**This is the moment we've all been waiting for. I hope it lives up to the expectations. And don't worry the next chapter will take up right where this one leaves off. I want to see all of it as it unfolds, but I also didn't want this chapter to be 10,000 words long.**

**xxxxxxxxxx**

Jim Beckett hesitantly approached the door. He really didn't think he could do this, but… he'd been summoned; his daughter had asked for him, and if one thing in this life was certain, it was that he could never refuse his Katie.

He knocked gently before traversing the curtain draped threshold. The fist in his chest eased instantly at what he saw; she was smiling, laughing even. Thank heaven for modern medicine; his little girl was no longer rendered motionless by pain.

Jim listened to the melodic way Kate laughed at her husband, who jovially poked and prodded at the enormous mound of babies just beneath the sheet covering her body.

"Can you feel me now?"

"No."

Rick poked her other side, "Can you feel me now?"

"Nope - nothing."

"Can you feel me know?" Even though Kate leveled him with a patented Beckett glare, Rick's mouth split into a huge grin as his hands palmed Kate's belly like a basketball player about to make a pass.

"Let me guess?" Jim interrupted as he made his way to the bedside. "She left her gun at home?" Jim winked at his son-in-law before leaning down to kiss his daughter's head. "You're looking quite a bit better."

"Thanks Dad, I feel a lot better." She smiled up at him with wide and happy, yet very tired eyes.

"Actually, she's not _feeling_ a whole lot at all right now." Rick massaged the back of Kate's head; his fingers digging deep into her tightly braided hair in order to reach her scalp. "The epidural just kicked in."

Kate thumped the top of her right thigh with a fist, "Yep, pretty much numb; not sure why I waited this long." Her sentence ended with a huge yawn.

"I'll give you two a few minutes." Rick leaned in and planted a reassuring kiss to against Kate's lips. "Be right back."

"Promise?" Kate's hand curled around his ear holding him in place.

"Promise."

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"Hey, the gang's all here!" Castle announced his entrance to the waiting room. "Oh thank god, we have food." He leaned over the nearest chair and hugged Alexis from behind. "I'm starving."

Castle grabbed a cheesy slice then took a seat between his daughter and mother. He filled everyone in on Kate's progress. She was currently dilated to seven centimeters, completely effaced, and at minus-one station. Lanie quickly jumped in to explain the science behind the whole dilation, effacement, and station thing to the clueless Detectives in the room. She was sure to mention that a woman normally dilated about a centimeter an hour so is should only be a few more hours before Kate reached the full ten required for pushing.

While Lanie talked, Castle practically inhaled three huge slices of pizza and a bottle of root beer; he hadn't eaten since earlier that morning. Of course neither had Kate, but that wasn't going to change anytime soon; she was restricted to ice chips only until after the birth. The sweet nurse that had been assigned to them, Hope was her name, had promised to provide a nice big meal as soon as the twins were delivered.

"So," Castle stood back up and glanced at his watch. He'd been gone ten minutes, which was long enough; was as long as he could bear. "It may be a while longer before we have babies. If you guys want to head home, we can call you…"

"No way." "Dude?" "Richard." "Ain't happening'", they all spoke at once.

Castle held his hands up in surrender; it was all he could manage with the lump currently residing in his throat. They had the best friends; the best family.

xxxxxxxxxx

"She's beginning to nod off."

"Thanks Jim." Castle shook his father-in-law's hand as they switched places beside Kate's bed. He glanced down at her; tears shined on her cheeks, her eyes were rimmed with red. It must have been an emotional talk.

"No Rick," Jim Beckett squeezed Rick's hand tighter; grabbed the younger man by the upper arm. "I'm the one that needs to say thank you."

"Jim," Castle shook his head, but was interrupted before he could say anything else.

"Look, you two can thank each other for the gift that is me later." Kate laughed and reached for her husband's hand. "Right now I require some serious sleep." She yanked at Rick's hand so hard he yelped. "I need my pillow, now get down here."

"Sorry Jim, duty calls."

Jim watched, waited as Rick eased into the partially raised mechanical bed, settling in next to Kate, making sure to avoid all the tubes and wires that closely monitored three precious heartbeats. After much maneuvering and Rick's assistance with her mostly numb body parts, Kate curled into her husband's body; practically wedging him between her belly and the mattress. Closing her eyes Kate hummed in appreciation.

"Sleep well, Katie-Kat." Jim patted her foot and headed for the door.

"Night Daddy."

A completely overwhelmed Jim Beckett slumped against the pastel colored wall of the maternity ward hallway. He just needed a second. Needed to push back the emotion that had threatened to take over the moment he'd heard it; the still soft voice of his little girl. He wiped his hand down his face, closed his eyes momentarily to conjure up the images. He saw a scared three year old refusing the comfort of a nightlight, choosing simply to lie in bed and will the boogeyman away. Then there was the pre-teen Kate punching her pillow over and over because some idiot boy had asked her best friend to the school dance instead of her. And finally, a nineteen year-old woman crying herself to sleep just hours after learning the mother she so desperately adored would never again return home. Then there was today; the day his little girl would give birth to two little girls of her own.

'_Oh Jo-Jo, I wish you could be here to see this.'_

xxxxxxxxxx

Rick stroked small circles against Kate's forehead with his thumb. She'd been asleep for almost two hours but had begun to stir over the last few minutes. He watched as her face crinkled up and she moaned into the material of his shirt.

"What is it, Love?" Rick tried to scoot from the bed but she held on tight.

"Pressure," she panted.

Across the room Lanie jumped from her chair. She and Alexis had been quietly playing cards to pass the time. "I'll go get the Doctor."

Rick nodded, "Does it hurt anywhere?"

"No." Kate spoke between gritted teeth, "Just feels… weird?"

Rick didn't need to move to know that Kate was in the middle of a contraction. With the way she'd been laying against him he'd been able to feel each and every time her abdomen had tensed up every few minutes while she slept. "Dr. Candace will be here in a sec."

As if the mere mention of her name had caused her to manifest, Dr. Candace was instantly at the foot of the bed; Lanie stood directly behind her. "I hear your feeling some pressure?" Kate nodded. "That's what we like to hear. Rick, you want to hop up so I can take a quick peek?"

By the time he was on his feet, Hope had also entered the room. She helped Kate roll to her back and assisted the Doctor in discreetly checking out the situation. Rick noticed the subtle change in Hope's face and the straightening of Dr. Candace's back as she stood from her seated position on the end of the bed. Suddenly his heart began to race.

"Kate," Doctor Candace nodded to the nurse who abruptly left the room. "I know right now the urge to push is probably overwhelming." Rick watched as Kate nodded. Her lips were fused together in a straight line; completely focused. "I need you to try to breathe through the next few contractions, let me get suited up and we should have a baby here very shortly."

"What?" Rick's attention turned to Alexis. He wasn't sure when, but at some point she'd made her way to the opposite side of the bed; she gripped Kate's right hand between both of her own smaller ones. "I thought she was going to deliver in an Operating Room?" Yep, his little girl, always a stickler for the rules.

Sensing the heightened energy in the room Dr. Candace kept her voice soft and soothing. "Looks like these babies didn't get that memo, Alexis. Everything's fine, delivering in the OR is just a precaution we use with twins. Kate's labor has been practically text book; the delivery should be no different. Kate, you doing okay?"

"Anxious to get this show on the road." She took in another long breath as she winked at Alexis.

"Rick?"

He startled, "What?"

"You hanging in there?" The Doctor chuckled.

"Yeah," he took in a deep breath of his own. He was fine, Kate was fine, Alexis was fine, or semi-fine. He needed to shape up, needed to calm down; focus. "I'm good, yeah, I'm good." Kate laughed up at him; laughed? Rick covered her smile with his lips, taking one last chance to be needy; he was so needy for her. "I love you."

"I love you too." She whispered against his mouth.

Kate stared into the blue depths. Clung to him for just a second more, drawing in some of his strength; his love. This was it, this was the moment; surreal. Everything was about to change, her life would never be the same. She was no longer responsible for just herself; the weight of it was so heavy yet somehow so freeing, so exhilarating.

"Alright Kate," Dr. Candace was once again at the foot of her bed. Kate couldn't help but laugh at the almost spacesuit-like getup the woman had donned, complete with a plastic face guard. "This is the point where all modesty flies out the window." With some help from Hope, the sheet that had been covering Kate was quickly removed.

"Camera!" Alexis tried to shake loose from Kate's grip. "I'm responsible for the pictures."

"Lanie," Rick looked to their friend still standing a few feet behind the Doctor. "Do you mind?"

"On it." Lanie ran to the corner where she and Alexis had been seated and dug out the camera. She was back in a flash.

"Lanie," Kate growled, "I better not see anything but baby in these pictures, you got me?"

"Hush Girl, you know I'll do my thing."

"That's what I'm afraid… oooowww!" Kate gritted her teeth against the building pressure.

"Okay, Kate I'm going to walk you through it. I'm pretty sure all that's standing between this girl and her birthday is a bag of water. I'm going to rupture…" Before she could finish the sentence there was a quiet pop followed by a not so quiet splash. "Well, we seem to have an eager beaver on our hands."

"Great, looks like this one takes after you, Dad." Alexis quipped.

"Gotta push." Kate grunted.

"It's okay Kate, just relax let your body do the work, save some energy for number two. This first one's raring to meet her momma."

"Yep, just like me." Rick announced proudly.

"The head's out. Breath through it Kate." Doctor Candace carefully suctioned out the mouth and felt for a chord around the neck. When she found none she stood slightly. "You ready Momma?"

Rick looked to Kate as she nodded. There was no fear no hesitation, only happiness. "Here she comes, Love." He rubbed his nose against her temple, kissed her cheek, then watched; stood in absolute awe. With barely a sound his wife gave birth to _the_ most perfect baby he had ever laid eyes on; bar none. The emotions that flooded his brain, for Kate, for the baby; it was almost too much. He'd never witnessed anything so… There were no words, absolutely none; he was speechless. Unable to make a sound, he decided he could at least take action. So he counted; heads - one, limbs – four, fingers and toes - twenty in total. Then before he knew what was happening he'd taken the pair of scissors from Hope, following her instructions he snipped the tough gray material connecting his daughter from his wife.

For Kate the whole world just fell away; the pain, the room, the people, the snap of the camera, everything blurred into the background. All she saw was the perfect human being that had just been placed on her chest; her baby, her daughter, hers. She felt her heart instantly double in size. She was overcome with every emotion she had ever experienced, but where it used to be too much, where she used to push back, where she would normally turn and run; now it was perfect, complete, all consuming. It just _was_.

How many times had Kate witnessed the last breath of a human? How many times had she watched the lights go out? Not today, today she'd witnessed the first breath, the illumination of a life as opposed to the extinguishing.

She reached out a shaky hand, "May I?"

The nurse laughed, "Kate, you just gave birth to her, you can do anything you want."

Elena was wet and warm and _loud_. Her long fingers were fisted, her head was thrown back as wail after wail filled the room, and her legs kicked frantically. Kate's fingers cupped the tiny dark curl-covered head. With the support of Rick's hand beneath hers, she pulled her first born to her chest. "Hush Baby Girl, there's nothing to cry about. You're here - you're safe; Momma's got you, she'll never let you go." As if on cue the ear-piercing screams quieted to nothing more than a whimper.

"Oh yeah, just like Daddy." Lanie snapped another picture.

Rick leaned in to greet his daughter, "Hey Elena. You're just as beautiful as your Mommy aren't you?"

"Kate?" The Doctor's voice was stern. "I know you want nothing more than to hold on to that baby girl, but now's the time to get serious."

Hope swooped in and lifted the mewling baby from Kate's grasp.

"Rick, go with her, please."

"No love, I'm with you, just like always. Alexis is with her."

The new parents' eyes followed as the once again wailing baby held tightly to her big sister's pinky. The nurse was sure to clean and dry every inch of her little body before swaddling her tightly in a pink blanket. She then placed the squirming bundle in her sister's arms. Tears streamed down Alexis' face.

"Kate, you're gonna have to do a little more work on this one. With the next contraction I need you to bear down. Okay, here we go."

Rick supported Kate's head and counted to ten with each and every contraction. He wiped the sweat from her forehead and blew on her neck to help keep her cool. He'd never seen her work so hard, she never made a sound; just remained so focused and kept at it contraction after contraction..

"I see the head." Alexis finally announced from behind the Doctor. Apparently all the earlier nerves about watching had been washed away by the sleeping baby in her arms.

"Come on Girl, you can do it." Lanie joined the cheering section.

"Just a couple more pushes Kate."

"Oh god!" Kate growled in Rick's direction, "Why couldn't this one be like you too?"

He laughed, "No way, we need at least one little stubborn girl to keep her stubborn Mommy company." He leaned in closer as she whimpered with the next push. "You got this Kate, focus."

"Okay, head's out. Just breathe." Dr. Candace repeated the same actions with Erin as she had ten minutes earlier with Elena . "Okay, here she is."

It was like deja vu; she had the same face, the same dark curly hair, only there was no crying, no flailing or kicking. Erin just laid quietly on her mother's chest, blinking against the harsh light that had to seem so foreign to her newly opened eyes.

"Hey their Baby Girl." Kate greeted her in the same way she had her sister. "Whatcha see?"

"A little doppelganger, huh?" The infant raised her eyes and strained her neck to see her father above her as he spoke. "Yeah, here I am, Erin." Her eyes seemed to widen as she locked gazes with him.

Lanie snapped another picture, capturing the moment. "Looks like she's only got eyes for you, Castle."

"Oh, Baby," Kate kissed Erin's cheek. "Just like your Momma."

**xxxxxxxxxx **

**Okay, maybe I did have her spew one of them out without much effort. Like I said, she's good. I did make her work for the other one, but not too hard.**


	38. Chapter 38

**Thank you all so much for the reviews on my last chapter. This one picks up right where that one left off; just another moment in time. **

**Okay, so I really enjoyed Cuffed, but I'm not really seeing the momentum AWM keeps talking about. I mean come on already!**

**Don't own them, never have, never will so I might as well just get used to the snail's pace they seem to be moving at.**

**xxxxxxxx**

When the nurse once again swooped in to remove the baby from Kate's grasp with promises of returning with her shortly, Rick followed his wife's earlier instructions and accompanied little Erin across the room to be checked out.

Kate watched intently as Hope nimbly examined every inch of her baby, just as she'd done earlier with Elena. She again wiped all the moisture from the petite body, weighed and measured her, inked her feet up before pressing them into a white square of cardstock, and finally pricked her heel and smeared the minute blood droplet on a stick of some sort before dressing her in a diaper, white tee-shirt and a purple cap; as opposed to the pink one she'd placed on Elena. Finally, swaddled in a matching purple blanket, Erin was placed in her Father's eagerly awaiting arms.

Alexis sat in the corner completely enthralled with her younger sister sleeping soundly against her. Kate's hands actually itched to hold her daughter again, but she fought the urge to call out to the teenager, knowing she would have all the time in the world to bond with the newborn.

Lanie buzzed about for a few more minutes taking more pictures before deciding to head off to the waiting room to give everyone the good news.

Kate cringed as Rick practically interrogated the nurse. Hope, patient as a saint, confirmed with each and every question that, despite being born at thirty-six and a half weeks, both Elena and Erin were perfect. They scored a ten and a nine respectively on the Apgar Test; Erin losing only one point for _Respiration_ due to the lack of vigorous crying, but she reassured him that the baby wasn't showing any signs of struggling to breathe. Then she joked that if she could've she would've given the point taken away from Erin to Elena for extra credit because, _'Boy could that kid scream.' _Of course that sent Rick into a tizzy about the possibilities of Elena having been in pain or suffering in some way. It took another round of reassurances from the portly blonde nurse to convince him all was well. She also reminded him that Dr. Glazier, the twins' Pediatrician, had been notified of their arrival and would conduct a complete workup before allowing either of them to be discharged.

Knowing both her girls were healthy and safe in loving arms, Kate took a moment to assess her own condition. Still just numb enough, all Kate could remember feeling after Erin came out was the Doctor massaging her abdomen as her uterus continued to repeatedly cramp. Kate had barely registered when it had been done, but somehow she was now covered in a sheet and blanket; her legs having been removed from the stirrups. At some point the bed had been raised slightly, placing her in a more upright position. The adrenaline that had been coursing through her system during the delivery was beginning to subside. The extreme exhaustion from lack of sleep combined with almost a whole day of labor was beginning to take its toll. She rested her head against the pillow and shut her eyes.

Despite the fatigue Kate's mind was buzzed; the air around her felt electric with the excitement of new life. It was hard to believe; she was a Mom. She ran the word over and over in her head; repeated it so many times and in various versions, Mommy… Momma… Mother… Mom… Mom… Mom... The last one replayed so many times she thought for a second that she was actually hearing it rather than just thinking it.

Soft fingertips on her wrist had her opening her eyes. Alexis was standing next to the bed. Elena was still asleep in the crook of her elbow. "Mom?"

Mom? So she hadn't imagined it after all. Oh? Oh. "Yeah Sweetie?"

Alexis delicately laid the swaddled infant in Kate's arms, making sure to support her floppy head. "I think I've hogged her long enough."

"Thank you, Lex." Kate cuddled the infant close; instinctively breathing in the new, yet somehow familiar scent of her child.

Alexis picked up the camera from the nearby table and took the first photo of the Mother and Daughter together. She stared at the image on the digital display. "That was the most miraculous thing I've ever witnessed." She met Kate's eyes hesitantly.

"I can easily say it was the most miraculous thing I've ever experienced."

Alexis smiled, "I'm gonna go see Gram. Do you feel up to visitors?" She asked Kate, but looked to the Doctor for approval.

"If you feel up to it, but just for a few minutes. Nurse Hope will usher everyone out once the girls show signs of wanting to feed, which should be pretty soon. I assume you'll want some privacy for that?" Kate nodded. "We'll worry about getting you cleaned up after that."

"I'll be back." Alexis practically skipped out the door; the nurse following close behind her.

With the room almost empty Rick made his way to his wife's bed. Kate eased over the best she could to let him sit next to her; she rested her head on his shoulder. With Elena on her right arm and Erin on Rick's left, the twins' faces were only inches apart. Kate couldn't take her eyes off her babies. She wanted to memorize everything about them; they were identical, there was no question about that. They had perfect lips, pouty like Rick's with the same deep indentation above the upper. Thankfully they seemed to have inherited Kate's nose however; it was truly the only thing both she and Rick really had any preference about. Kate loved Rick's nose, loved everything about him actually, but they both felt it would be too large and angular for a little girl to carry around. She could also tell instantly, even though they were currently closed, that their eyes were shaped just like her own; though they seemed almost too big for their faultless petite faces. Or maybe it was the long dark lashes that rested against their cheeks as they slept that made them seem so large. Kate tried to remember the color, having only seen Erin's open for a short time, thus far; blue, but not the deep almost oceanic blue of her husband's. No, her girls shared the same shimmering ice blue color that both Alexis and Martha had been blessed with.

"Smile!" Dr. Candace held the camera up and snapped a few shots of the new family. "Okay, I'm sure you two would like a minute before your guests arrive." She placed the camera back on the table and approached Kate. "You did a great job Kate. Congratulations."

And then they were alone…

"What do we do now?" Rick spoke first.

"I'm not really sure." Kate laughed into his sleeve.

"I can't believe they trust us alone with them."

"I know, right?"

Rick kissed the top of Kate's head. "You were so amazing, Kate. I've never… I don't even know how…" He couldn't finish a thought, just kissed her again. "I have no words."

"I'm still in bit of awe over them myself."

Her head bobbed slightly and Rick could tell she was wiping her tears on his sleeve. He used his free hand to wipe away the remaining dampness with his thumb. She kissed his palm and leaned in to it; rested for a moment in his hand. What she'd just done for him, what she'd given him. He'd never be able to tell her enough, thank her enough, give her enough, but he was damn sure going to try; every day for the rest of his life. "I'll forever be in awe of you Kate. I love you."

A little squeak got their attention; Elena stirred I Kate's arms. Rick leaned forward and kissed her forehead. "Yes, I love you too."

He shifted positions, flattened his feet against the mattress pulling his knees up enough to allow him to lay Erin out on his thighs in front of him. Kate followed suit, the new position providing a pressure against her abdomen that actually felt good; helped relieve the dull cramping she'd been experiencing since the birth. She placed the baby on her thighs.

"We do good work, huh?" Kate softly elbowed at Rick's side.

"Best partner ever." He nudged back. "Hey, did you notice?"

Kate cocked her head, but couldn't tear her eyes from the twins. "Notice what?"

"They have your beauty mark."

He was right. They both had it, but? Ah. "They're mirror image twins." She'd read about this; something about the egg splitting late so some physical attributes are mirrored, or on opposite sides of the body. She reached out and pulled the stretchy caps from both babies' heads. She ran her fingers over the flyaway hair that, surprisingly enough, was no longer curly now that it had dried. "See?"

Rick tried to see what she was pointing at. "See what?"

"Their cowlicks, which they got from you by-the-way." He may have noticed the marks, but she'd noticed this. She smoothed Elena's hair, sweeping from right to left then lightly grazing her thumb over the speck of color just below the baby's right eye. "They go in opposite directions." She reached to his lap and repeated the motion with Erin, only going from left to right before briefly touching the mark under her left eye. She rested her hand over Erin's chest, the soft rise and fall easing her worried Mother's mind. Damn that one point.

"You wanna trade?"

"Yeah."

The switch was awkward; neither one knowing where to put which hand, who should go over or under. Blankets became unwrapped and fragile arms and legs seemed to jerk in response. They eventually managed the task but not before completely waking both babies.

"That was graceful, huh?"

Kate didn't respond; he wasn't really talking to her anyway. He was already leaning over talking to Elena in some sort of goofball voice, his face mere inches from hers. They were _so_ going to have a serious discussion about baby talk, but not today. Not when Elena was looking up at him like that, like he was the best thing in her world; the same way Kate looked at him every day. She watched for a few minutes before turning her attention to the squirming baby on her lap.

"Oh, sweet girl." Okay, maybe no discussion was needed about the goofy voices after all. "What's wrong?" Kate tilted her body slightly forward, cupped Erin's bottom, and slid her other hand up the boney little back; fingertips supporting the non-developed neck muscles. "No pouting today, baby." She placed a soft kiss to the infant's protruding bottom lip; the slight quiver against her mouth echoed in her own fluttering heart. "I know," she placed the supple body on her chest, skin to skin. "You've had a hard day. You rest now." Erin nuzzled deeper into the space just below Kate's chin, finally settling under the gently caressing hand of her mother.

"They're so tiny, Rick." Kate whispered.

"And, you've got the big one."

Even in her preoccupied state Kate had heard and committed to memory all the details. Elena, the oldest by ten minutes, weighed five pounds one ounce and was nineteen inches in length. Her younger sister had her beat by two ounces and a quarter inch, however.

"That's right," there came that funny voice again. "Momma's got you, Erin." Kate clung to her daughter, leaned back against the pillow, scooted down to get more comfortable, and then closed her eyes again. "And I _pity the fool_ that dares to take you away from me."

Rick lifted the purple blanket from Kate's lap; he spread it from shoulder-to-shoulder, covering her and the baby. "You know everyone's on their way in right?"

"Mmm-hmm." She nodded and sunk into his side.

"They've waited all day to hold a baby in their arms."

Kate growled into his sleeve, "And I've waited all my life to hold _your_ baby in _my_ arms."

Rick couldn't help but laugh; sleepy Kate always brought a smile to his face. But before he could respond, the door opened and everyone they loved filed in. Rick watched as each and every one of them went wide-eyed; their gaze falling instantly to the baby in his arms.

"Well, I guess it's a good thing we got two of these," he announced, "cause Momma Grizzly over here ain't sharin'"


	39. Chapter 39

**Okay, another sappy one. Mostly from Kate's POV, but don't worry, I have some serious Daddy - Baby bonding time planned. Oh, and I'm surprised no one commented on Alexis' use if a certain three letter word in the last chapter.**

**I find it difficult to incorporate multiple characters in one scene. I have trouble transitioning from one area to the next. Just imagine that this is a large delivery room, which they usually are, and many little conversations can go on without interfering with the others.**

**And to applesapplescherry, I have no words.  
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Within seconds of entering the room Jenny practically assaulted Rick, "Hand her over, Castle." The petite blonde confidently scooped baby Elena from his arms.

As if tethered to the infant by more than just his heart, Rick followed close behind Jenny. They joined Ryan, Lanie, and Esposito on the other side of the room.

"She's beautiful." Jenny cooed. "Wait? You haven't told us their names, yet."

Rick beamed, "Well, this little heartbreaker here is Elena Katherine and that…" turning, he gestured to the dark head barely visible from behind a cover of purple. "…is – uh - Erin Johanna." He stammered; not because her name had suddenly escaped him, but because he was momentarily breathless; it was all just too amazing, too wonderful. The way Kate's slender fingers stroked the dark mane of hair, the way her eyes widened with absolute adoration as Erin's wobbly head lifted from her chest. Even the what the baby seemed to be mesmerized by her Grandmother who had taken Rick's vacated seat, facing Kate on the bed, had him momentarily stunned.

Martha stroked the soft arm of her youngest Granddaughter before bending forward to give Kate a kiss on the cheek. "You look wonderful, Dear."

Kate huffed, "Yeah right." With the hand that wasn't currently cupping her newborn she smoothed down all the hair that had come loose from her braid.

Martha still insisted with a dramatic wave of hands, but the clanging together of all the baubles around her wrists startled the baby. "Oh, little one, it's all just too much for your first day isn't it?"

Martha covered her daughter-in-law's hand at Erin's back. She took an extra second to straighten the bands on Kate's left ring finger; aligning the large diamond studded one with its simple silver mate, just so. It was something the older woman had done a few times since her son had said 'I do' for his third and final time. At first it had made Kate self conscious; she always made sure her wedding set hadn't rotated too far around her finger in either direction whenever Martha was present. However, the elder redhead still managed to slip her slim fingers over the warm metal from time to time. It wasn't until she noticed Martha fiddling with Rick's wedding band in a similar manner that Kate figured it out. This was just Martha's way of staying connected to what had once been, and was once again, a symbol of her family.

"Well, I think your Gram is going to take her leave until tomorrow then."

"Oh no Martha…" Kate shook her head and tried to hold onto Martha's retreating hand.

"Nonsense Katherine, I am well acquainted with the battle you just fought. I only needed to get a quick peek. I'll come back in the morning when I can spend some quality time with them. Besides, I see an anxious first-time Grandpa over there." Rising from the bed Martha nodded toward Jim who had settled near the window to take it all in. Martha leaned in one last time to take another long look at Erin, who was now sleeping soundly. "_'Babies are such nice ways to start people.'_" With a wink she turned, her voice lilted through the air, "Richard!"

Having been beckoned, Rick responded. "Yes?"

"Come say goodbye to your Mother."

Rick reluctantly walked away from his friends, who had been passing his new daughter from one set of awaiting arms to the next. "You're leaving already?" He kissed Martha's cheek.

"Yes, Alexis and I are going out for a celebratory dinner, she's waiting in the lobby. Pesky nurse at the desk was none too happy about letting so many people in here at one time. I'll come back tomorrow once your bride has had a chance to rest up." She held firmly to her son's upper arms; gave a quick squeeze. "You done good Kiddo. Again."

"I done better." He flashed that crinkly-eyed smile she loved. She was referring to the twins; of course he was referring to their Mommy. "And the babies aren't too shabby either, huh?"

Kate watched Rick walk his Mother to the door of the hospital room then patted the mattress with an open palm, letting him know it was his turn to approach.

"Hey Baby Girl."

He hadn't called her that since she was three or four at the most.

"Hey Daddy."

Kate's other arm swept out from under the warmth of the blanket Rick had covered them with a few minutes earlier. She tilted her upper body forward to shift the baby into her arms. She fought back the groan that threatened as the cramping in her belly increased. Careful not to trap any delicate arms or legs, she gently swaddled Erin's squirming body. After a lingering kiss to her forehead she presented her youngest child to her father. Kate watched as Jim's eyes glistened with unshed tears. When he finally managed to speak his voice was tight from the effort of trying to hold it all in.

"She is absolutely stunning, Katie." He glanced across the room to the other baby being fussed over by a gaggle of Kate's loved ones. "They both are."

Kate brushed her thumb over the tiny fist that had taken possession of her index finger. "Yeah, I think I'll keep them." She couldn't stop the smile that almost painfully split her face.

"I'm so glad you finally know." He didn't look at her, just kept his eyes on the infant in his arms.

"Know what?"

"That vengeance or justice was never what Johanna would have wanted for you."

Kate swallowed hard; fought the bile that suddenly gurgled at the back of her throat. "How…? What…?" She couldn't form the question. She didn't have to; her Father was already giving her an answer.

"Look at them Kate. Would it be what you'd want for them? Would yours be the life you'd have them live if…?"

His head lifted, he met her eyes, challenged her to argue like she had so many times before. But not this time; she wouldn't, couldn't. He was right after all. How many times had he tried to tell her; tried to make her see the light? With a widower's broken heart he'd told her through his tears, in the midst of his of his addiction he'd screamed it at her, and during the uphill climb of his recovery he'd begged her in spite of his humility. But today, while holding her heart in his arms, he'd just simply asked.

"No Daddy…" She shook her head. "…it's not." A silent tear rolled down her cheek. It had taken a mere thirty minutes of motherhood to make her realize what everyone had been telling her for over a decade.

"Of all the days; this was it, this was the day she'd wanted to see." Kate's chin quivered as he continued. "She talked about it from the time you were…" Jim paused, "…well, forever. You made her so happy, Katie. Do you know that? She wasn't complete until she had you." A faraway look appeared on his aged face. "I just wish…"

"She is..." Kate knew what he wished, "… in spirit; always."

Suddenly distracted by Erin's squirming and a funny little grunt, Jim chuckled on a long exhale. He suddenly looked as though the weight of the world had been lifted from his shoulders. He stood and sauntering towards the window, spoke to his granddaughter. "Let me tell you a little something about your Mommy."

Having just witnessed the whole thing, Rick climbed in next to Kate again. He sat two plastic cafeteria containers, given to him by Hope, on the table that hovered over the bottom half of the bed. "Ouch?" He bumped her shoulder with his.

She looked at him through wet eyes. "He fights dirty." She pulled his left arm across her chest and wrapped her arms around it, wove all ten of her fingers with the five of his; a hand sandwich Rick liked to call it. She pressed her face into his back.

"Woman, did you just wipe snot on the back of my fabulous tee-shirt?"

Kate tried to laugh but the attempt was sabotaged by her hitching breath. She was just so tired and emotional. She pulled his body more firmly against her. "Hold me back, don't let me do it."

"Do what?"

"I need my babies. In my arms. Now. Why are they all the way over there? If I thought my legs could carry me right now I'd be up, throwing everyone out. How terrible is that?" He felt her head knock against his scapula as she groaned. "Oh god, they're less than an hour old and I'm already a crazy over-protective Mom."

"First of all…" Rick opened the containers in front of them, "…you and your legs need this, right now." He waved one of the wraps the nurse had given him in the air. The smell of fresh turkey had her lifting her head. "And, considering they are less than an hour old, it seems pretty sane to me that you'd be a little over-protective."

"So I'm not crazy?" Kate took the wrap from him and, in her haste, practically ripped the thing in half as she began to inhale it.

"Crazy in love." He handed her the can of ginger ale he'd popped the top on.

"Yeah, with them." She slurped the cool liquid down.

"Yeah, them too."

The two of them continued to eat. Kate was absolutely starving, she finished off the second half of his wrap, her bag of potato chips, and both cups of jello before he'd even opened his chips. He pressed the nurse call button to request an additional can of soda after she gulped hers down with a loud satisfying 'ahhh.'

Rick was glad when Jenny approached the bed to inquire about the girls' heights and weights. Everyone seemed interested in hearing about the delivery and soon Kate was reliving the whole experience complete with just enough gallows humor to amuse the boys, but not so much that it caused Jim to be uncomfortable.

"Yo Little Chica?" The conversation stopped and everyone looked at Esposito who, after much convincing from Lanie that he couldn't break her, was holding Elena. He was looking at the wriggling baby in mock horror.

"Um." Lanie pursed her lips, trying not to let the laugh escape.

"Dude." Ryan's eyes grew wide.

"Beckett? Castle? What's she doing?"

"Javi," Lanie patted his arm, "I believe they call that rooting."

He looked confused, "Rooting? For what?" Then it seemed to dawn on him. Never had Rick seen Javier's face so red. "Yo Beckett, I'm pretty sure… Oh no way… Castle you better come get this kid."

Jim handed little Erin back to her mother, but it was Elena that had begun to make it abundantly clear that, as the oldest, she would be the first to break bread. Rick tried his best to appease her temporarily; she sucked on his knuckle while he bounced softly on the balls of his feet. Thank goodness the room quickly cleared with a myriad of 'congratulations' and 'see you tomorrows' as they all filed out the door. As soon as everyone was gone, Elena's wailing filled the room.

Kate's stomach began to cramp instantly and her breasts throbbed with each and every short scream her daughter let out. She barely remembered how it happened but suddenly Elena was in her arms. Rick sat next to her holding Erin whose brow furrowed in clear frustration of the raucous going on around her. Clearly sensing that mealtime was approaching, the infant's crying subsided, but the grunting and the routing intensified as her head bobbed back and forth, her mouth wide open rubbing against the material of her Mother's peach nightgown.

Kate's hands shook as she patted Elena's back and rocked slightly back and forth. She needed to slow things down; couldn't go into this frantic and shaking like a leaf. She concentrated on her breathing, tried to relax. That's what all the books said; relax, don't be tense. Of course, they also warned against delaying so long that the baby screamed for it.

"Shh Half-Pint." Rick spoke softly, "Give your Momma a second to figure this out, eh?" He tilted his head to drop a kiss to her shoulder. "You've got this, Love."

Kate needed that. She gave him an appreciative smile. She was so going to love parenting with this man; her partner. He always had her back, even in the most awkward of circumstances.

She tried to recall everything she'd read. She reminded herself that it was Elena's first time as much as it was hers. She could do this; they could do this. Finally summoning the courage, Kate slid the strap of her nightgown down her right shoulder. Her knuckle grazed Elena's cheek sending the infant's tiny mouth in a frenzied search of the connection she so desperately sought. Her little legs and feet kicked against her Mother's abdomen.

"Patience Baby. Don't be like your Daddy in every way." Kate whispered and ignored his snort of protest.

After finally freeing herself of the cotton garment, Kate's aching nipple stood at the ready. Without need of coaxing, Elena's urgently seeking mouth engulfed the erect flesh. There was a brief span of time, but only seconds, in which neither one of them seemed to know what to do. Then it happened; Elena's crystal blue eyes locked with Kate's watery browns. And as if she'd been doing it forever, the baby girl began to suck.

At first Kate didn't know which sensation was more powerful. Was it the champagne-bubble-like tingling in her breast? Was it the warm wetness of her child's mouth on her skin? No, it had to be the almost spiritual connection that the simple act of nourishing her child created. It was an intimacy she had never before experienced, not even with Rick. She could swear her baby's breathing mirrored her own. Their hearts, though not beating at the same rate, were in syncopated rhythm. Their souls communed; forever connected both physically and spiritually.

"God Castle," she managed the words breathlessly. "_'I had no idea that mothering my own child would be so healing.'_"

"I had no idea watching you mother your own child would be so HOT!"

"Castle!"

"Sorry," Rick chuckled, and then nipping lightly at Kate's shoulder he whispered in a sing-songy voice, "I get it, not in front of the chil-dren."


	40. Chapter 40

**Yeah, the holidays are really eating into my Castle time! I've neglected this story and twitter. I hope you're all still out there and if I don't update again before Sunday, I want to wish you all a Very Merry Christmas!**

**And BTW, has anyone else noticed a distinct lack of Stanathan on Twitter? I know she kinda signed off for the year, but it's strange to not see any tweets from him. Oh well? I'll try not to read anything into that even though I _really really_ want to.**

**xxxxxxxxxx **

"That wasn't very nice of you, Lil'bit." Rick softly patted Erin even as he scolded her.

Erin wrestled against her father's hands at her backside. Her head, too heavy for her to hold up for more than a few seconds at a time, flopped against his shoulder for the umpteenth time. The petite bundle of skinny arms and legs, so much like her Mother, continued to wriggle until finally letting out her first little burp.

"Good Girl," Rick kissed his daughter's cheek. "I'll take that as an apology and I'll be sure to pass it along to your Mommy."

Having heard the tail end of her Father's sentence as she came through the door, Alexis laughed. "Oh no Baby Sis, what did you do?" She reached down to take the baby from their Father.

"Let's just say we may have named this one after the wrong Beckett woman."

"Speaking of, where is Kate?"

"She's taking a shower. As soon as she comes out they're moving us to another room." Rick stood, "I'm gonna go…" He pointed anxiously toward the restroom then looked back to the babies.

Which one to choose?

He'd never had this problem with Meredith. There was never a question; it was always Alexis. But not this time. Now, in addition to the babies, he had the woman he loved more than life itself to consider. When she'd stumbled to the bathroom a few moments prior, she'd asked him to protect her babies. Not watch, not stay with; protect. Oh the way she loved them already; her daughters.

He was torn; his wife or his children?

"Go, I'll watch them."

Oh yeah, he had Alexis. _They_ had Alexis. "Are you sure? I mean… It'll just be a second."

"Dad, go!"

"Thanks Pumpkin."

Rick gave all three of his girls a quick kiss. Made Elena's softer than the rest since she was completely zonked out in the clear-plastic-sided bassinet that Nurse Hope had wheeled in for the twins to share; belly full, mouth wide open, arms flopped out at her sides, fingers folded against her palms - gorgeous. The puff of air she breathed over his lips smelled of his wife, and spurred him on.

He rapped his knuckles against the door just once before pushing it open; not asking permission, just letting her know he was there. She was dressed in another nightgown, this one mint colored. Her hair, though wet was already pulled up into a tight bun; all the fly away strands had been tamed. The humid air smelled of her, sweet, his Kate.

"Hey, you need any help?"

"Rick! The girls?" She turned from the mirror.

Worry laced her eyes as she looked over his shoulder to the door at his back. He was pretty sure she would have pushed past him, run to their daughter's aid, if she'd had the strength. Instead she leveled him with a steely glare as her right hand gripped the porcelain sink, her left pressed into her deflated abdomen.

"Alexis."

Rick was glad to see Kate's anger subside instantly, if not her worry. She dropped her head and turned back to the mirror. He slid up behind her wrapping his arms around her waist and pacing a tender kiss to the back of her neck. His hands covered hers at her stomach. "Erin says she's sorry."

He could see the thin line of her lips in the reflection. She was trying hard not to smile. "She said that, huh?"

"Well, not in so many words."

Kate turned in his embrace, slipped her arms around his waist, and rested her head on his chest. Rick couldn't help but pull her body tightly into his. They fit again. For the first time in months he could wrap his arms fully around her shoulders, her long body meeting his inch for inch. Although Kate's belly was still round it was no longer distended with the little pieces of perfection their bond had created.

"There you are." He whispered into the top of her head.

Kate closed her eyes against it; the pain – the pleasure. Her body felt like it had been wrung out, was still being wrung. She pressed herself into Rick's solidity allowing his warmth to help ease the waves of spasms that had been present since nursing her daughters.

"That was pretty awful."

"She'll figure it out."

"But she was so obviously hungry... She needed to eat…" Kate spoke into his chest.

"And she did." Rick reminded gently.

"But she fought it so hard?"

He unsuccessfully swallowed a threatening chuckle; it came out as a snort. "Like mother like daughter. Now you know how I feel when you practically collapse from exhaustion at the end of a case. M&M's and coffee does not a meal make."

"Point taken," She groused out on a yawn; her hot breath moistening the skin beneath his tee-shirt.

"Whoa, you must be exhausted. You never acquiesce that quickly." Rick ran his hands slowly down her back then up again to hold her shoulders even tighter against him.

Kate groaned against the pressure, "Way too exhausted to comprehend words like acquiesce right now, Writer Boy."

Rick touched his lips to the top of her head again. "I prefer Writer Man, thank you very much."

"Actually," Kate hummed, "I prefer Daddy if it's okay with you?"

"That's more than okay with me, Love. In fact it's absolutely perfect."

xxxxxxxxxx

_"Close your eyes, say goodnight, go to sleep little babies."_

The lyrics trailed off but Rick continued to hum the melody as he leaned over the bassinet containing both of his newborn daughters.

He glanced at his watch, had to squint to read the time in the darkened room. It was a little after five in the morning. It had been an exhausting ten hours to say the least.

_After settling into their much smaller room, Alexis visited for a few more hours before heading home with promises of returning the next morning. Kate eventually gave into Rick's repeated requests that she take something for the pain. She'd be no good to anyone, especially the twins, if she wasn't able to rest in between feedings; feedings that came like clockwork, every two and a half hours. Of course it took close to an hour to get both girls changed, fed and burped, so Kate was only getting about an hour and a half of sleep at a time, if that, and only when he managed to pry whichever infant she was absolutely infatuated with at the moment, from her arms. _

_Elena seemed to easily drift off into dreamland after nursing. Actually, she'd fallen asleep a couple of times while still latched to her Mother's breast, her long wrinkly fingers pressed into the life-giving mound of flesh as she instinctively suckled. Rick had flinched every time Kate flicked the bottom of her petite foot to rouse her. When he'd accidentally blurted out apples, because Elena couldn't, Kate curtly informed him that she would not allow either of her children to use her nipples as a pacifier. Then, with an arched eyebrow, she seductively reminded him that he was the only one allowed to use them for that purpose._

_Of course all joking ceased whenever it was time to feed Erin. The youngest Castle was always just as hungry as Elena, but unlike her eager older sister, she required coaxing to latch on and stay on. She stiffened her whole body as if to protest her Mother's supportive hand across her back and head. She furrowed her brow whenever Kate tried to sooth her with words or shooshing sounds. She didn't suck in a smooth repetitive motion like her sister either. Every noise ceased her suckling instinct momentarily; the door opening or closing with each scheduled check-in by a nurse, a cell phone chime alerting them of another text from Alexis who just couldn't sleep after the excitement of the day, or even Rick's deep but quiet voice begging her to settle. _

_It wasn't until the last feeding, somewhere around four in the morning that Erin seemed to relax into it. She didn't stiffen up, didn't fight against Kate's embrace. Of course she still didn't suckle with abandon like Elena, nor did her little arms and legs curl around her Mother's body like her sister's did. Nope, she just took to the task at hand, eating quietly until she'd had her fill; so much like Kate in every way._

Rick hummed the lullaby through one more time before standing upright with a much needed stretch and crack of his back. He quickly ran the math in his head and figured he had at least an hour before Elena would be raring to go again. He had two choices; climb in bed with Kate and get some rest, or try to squeeze in a quick shower and change of clothes. The bed, his wife, sleep; all three were so inviting, but a quick sniff of his shirt and underarms had him convinced that a nap would just have to wait. He ran his hand down his face. A shave was also in order. He didn't want to irritate any baby-soft skin with his rough stubble.

A few minutes later Rick was almost finished digging through their suitcase when he heard it; the determined little high-pitched grunt followed by a wet squishy spurt. He stopped searching for his toothbrush, dropped the clothes he had draped over his arm, and made his way back to the bassinet.

Even though neither baby was awake or even moving for that matter, the culprit was easily determined. The flash of red quickly draining from Elena's cheeks was enough evidence to convict. Made sense, she'd been the first born and first to eat; it only seemed appropriate that she be the first to offer up this little bit of fun.

Rick grabbed the box of wipes from the table along with a fresh diaper before lifting Elena from the bassinet. He spun around a few times trying to decide where to lay her down. He immediately regretted not taking the nurse up on her earlier offer of a second bassinet. They hadn't seen the need when both infants could so easily fit into one. They'd been in close quarters for months now, seemed a shame to separate them. However, having an extra to use as a changing table would have been nice. With no other alternative, Rick laid the baby near the foot of Kate's bed where he'd changed all the previous wet diapers. He momentarily placed his hand on Kate's sheet covered shin. Thankfully she had it bent at the knee allowing him just enough room to change the baby.

"Don't move Love." He said it despite of the fact that she was asleep.

The brief sensation of warmth at her leg drew Kate's mind from her slumber, but her body was slower to wake. Everything was just so heavy. She felt rustling near her feet and forced her eyelids apart just enough to see her husband hunched over the foot of the bed; his tall frame practically folded at a right angle. At first she wasn't sure what he was doing, but the new yet already-too-familiar sound of diaper tabs being ripped open quickly clued her in. The smile on his face was evident even in the early morning darkness. This perfect man; he even smiles through diaper duty.

"Your Momma's a genius, Half-Pint." She heard him whisper. "Vaseline, seriously? Where was she when I needed her eighteen years ago?"

Kate closed her eyes, just wanting to listen to him talk to their daughter. She always knew when a story was coming; she loved his stories, all of them. Oh, but Erin was still asleep in the bassinet, she was going to miss her Daddy's first story. Kate's heart broke. He'd have to tell it again later, she'd make sure. Both of her girls were going to hear all of his stories; their Mommy would see to that.

Rick discarded the soiled diaper and wipes in a nearby trashcan before rubbing in some hand sanitizer. He then scooped up the clean baby. He cradled her gently with one arm lowering himself into the glider at Kate's bedside. He continued with his memory.

"Poor Alexis. I scrubbed her tiny bottom raw. And don't tell anybody, but I gagged a few times too. See, no one told Daddy about such things, and Alexis' Mommy wasn't perfect like yours."

Rick paused, took a minute to really think about the difference between that day and this. It was so much more than not knowing how awful a baby's first dirty diaper would be. So much more than not having an extra pair of hands when you needed it. So much more than just trying to survive the day and praying to God that he didn't screw his child up beyond repair. Never before had the term single-father sounded so lonely than in this moment, with that perfect face gazing up at him; Kate's visage in every aspect, but with a familiar blue in place of her green.

"Nope," He wiped the tears that had begun to stream down his face. "We were on our own. Just my Little Pumpkin and me. Not us though. Not this time. This time I did it right, for you and for your sisters."

Elena stretched, the baby noises she made melting his heart again. "Yeah, I did it right for me this time too, didn't I?"

Elena's head wobbled back and forth lazily, her lips open, puckered into an 'O'.

"Don't be greedy. It's not time to eat yet." He reached his long arm over the edge of the bassinet, his fingers felt around until he found the pacifier she had already become attached to. He pushed it gently into her seeking mouth, covered it with his palm so she could feel the heat of his hand mimicking the heat of Kate's body when she nursed. Elena struggled against it for a second. "I know how you feel baby girl, it's never gonna be good enough, not when you've had the real thing." He smoothed her dark hair. "Just another hour and you can have your Momma. Since you're like me it'll be a tough sixty minutes, but we're Castles, we can handle it."

"But I can't." Kate's whisper startled him slightly. "Bring her here, Rick."

Rick watched as his wife reached toward him. Her eyes focused solely on the infant in his arms. Her chest rising and falling at a quick pace in anticipation. Her fingers wiggling, beckoning. The smile on her flawless face lighting up the shadowed room. Every cell in her body longing for her child, his child, as if another second apart from her would surely be too much.

Oh so different than before.

"Rick?" She was begging.

He realized he hadn't moved; had been stunned by the profoundness of the moment. "Oh, sorry."

He stood, swayed on his feet; she'd made him lightheaded. Once at Kate's bedside he laid Elena in her waiting arms. Her slender appendages curled protectively around the precious little life. Rick felt weak in the knees, he needed to sit.

"Uh-uh." Kate's rebuke stopped him mid-move. "Erin too."

"But, she's asleep?"

"I need her." Kate's voice cracked under the necessity of it.

This woman; he trembles with it, his love for her, his need for her. Rick slid his shaking hands underneath his youngest lifting her eagerly. Erin stirs, but remains asleep. He pivots on his heel; bends to give her to his wife.

"Uh-uh?"

"But…?"

"I need you too Castle."

Oh yeah, _so_ much different than before.


	41. Chapter 41

**Okay, some Kate and Martha bonding time. Also, had to sneak a little bit of Captain Gates in here. Some of you have asked that I humanize her as she is softening towards Castle on the show. I agree, and have had this planned all along. I kind of hate creating a back story for such an uncharted character, but Andrew Marlowe has offered us so little on this subject.**

**Oh, and I refer to a little bit of Martha's background from this story's prequel. I hope it makes sense. **

**Don't own them, but I did get a rockin' gift for Christmas. Check out my Twitter Pic if you want to see it. ()mcnevs...**

**xxxxxxxxxx**

Her fingers traced every curve, line, plane, and dimple. The emotions, even a day later, swept over her with every touch, sound, and breath. She lifted the baby up so she could again touch every inch, but this time with her lips. She inhaled the wondrous smell of her child; still so new but already emblazoned to memory; written on her soul, inerasable. She tried unsuccessfully not to shiver as warm puffs of air tickled her neck; the hair on her arms rose to attention atop the goosebumps that formed in its wake.

Kate cupped the back of both Elena's head and bottom as the infant squirmed into her favorite spot on her mother's chest. Her pouty little mouth nestled mere millimeters from Kate's neck as uncoordinated legs and arms wiggled into place, just as Rick had once described it, like a pill bug. No doubt about it, Elena was cuddler just like her daddy. It hadn't taken them long to figure that out. And just like Rick, she could sleep anywhere; Kate's arms, Rick's arms, the bassinet, the end of the bed, the hard metal scale that their pediatrician had placed her on earlier that morning to weigh her. It didn't matter who or where, that kid was content. Unless she was hungry, at which point there was no consoling her; she wanted Kate and Kate alone. Pronto.

"I love you Baby Girl."

Kate's eyes floated down to see Erin staring back at her while lying in the cradle of her mother's folded legs. Only minutes ago Kate had held her youngest the same way she now held Elena, but Erin had wanted none of it. Like Kate, Erin wanted to do things on her own, or with her daddy. Already, at less than twenty-four hours old she had made her preferences perfectly clear to everyone. She didn't even want her mother to talk to her while she nursed, but Rick could blabber on all he wanted without so much as a furrowed brow from Kate's 'mini-me', as Alexis has dubbed her. The youngest Castle didn't want to cuddle with anyone either, but seemed content to lie anywhere, with her preferred spot being the crook of her daddy's arm so she could take in her surroundings, seemingly observing everything. That kid didn't miss a trick. Well, anything within three feet of her, since that's about as far as her newborn eyes could see at the moment. Yep, Erin was a budding detective.

"I love you too Baby Girl. Even if you do love Daddy more than me."

"Knock-knock," Martha entered the room like always; with flare. "Darling," She approached the bed and kissed Kate on the top of the head. "You look marvelous! _'A__side from new babies, new mothers must be the most beautiful creatures on earth.'"_

"Thank you Martha." Kate smiled up at her mother-in-law, "I'll take that today because I'm feeling pretty good, considering."

"I can see why." Martha rubbed her hand down Elena's back a few times. "Gorgeous, My Dear, they are absolutely gorgeous."

Kate leaned forward as if to offer Elena over, "You can hold her…" but was cut off.

"No no. The two of you look as if you're having a moment." Martha scooped Erin up from Kate's lap. "I'll try my hand at this one if you don't mind."

"Erin." Kate informed Martha; even though she and Rick could already tell the twins apart, whether by their faces or their cries, she knew it was going to take awhile for the rest of the family to figure it out.

"Ahh, Erin Go Bragh." With a wink Martha cradled the baby in her left arm and straightened out the material of the pink romper with her free hand; Kate refused to let them stay in those thin white tee-shirts the hospital provided.

"We wondered who'd be the first to utter those words." Kate shook her head; she should've guessed it would be Martha.

"What? Richard hasn't already christened them with nicknames? I was sure that would be his go-to for this little one."

"Oh, he has. Elena is lovingly referred to as Half-Pint and Erin earned Lil'bit as her moniker."

Martha looked at Kate with a horrified and questioning look. "Where on earth?"

"Yeah, I asked the same thing. He said it's because Elena doesn't weigh much more than half-a-pint and Erin weighs just a little-bit-more."

"That child of mine." Martha said with exasperation. "Well, at least he got the rust out of the pipes this time." Kate had no idea what her mother-in-law meant by that until she saw Martha run her pale hand over Erin's downy-soft hair. "Did I ever tell you that every one of my siblings is redheaded just like myself?" Kate chuckled and shook her head. "I was so shocked when Richard came out with that big towhead of his that I accused the nurse of trying to give me the wrong baby."

"You didn't?" Kate hugged Elena tighter against her chest; slightly panic-stricken at the thought. '_Not possible,'_ she told herself.

"Unfortunately I did, but only for a moment; as soon as he opened his eyes I knew he was mine. Richard may not have had the red hair, but these blue eyes are undeniable." She nodded to Erin, who was wide awake in her grandmother's arms; completely enthralled with the flamboyant woman. "They see straight through to the soul."

"That they do." Kate dipped her head to place a kiss to Elena's cheek before resting her own against her baby's. "You know it's funny. I never imagined them as redheads."

"I never imagined them as anything but." Martha laughed, "I just assumed, what with Alexis."

"Hmm," Kate couldn't help but breathe in the glorious scent again. "Martha?"

"Yes?"

"When does it go away?" Kate didn't give the older woman a chance to ask. "I just can't stop staring at them, touching them, smelling them."

"Never Dear." Martha waved her free hand letting Kate know she needed to elaborate. "Of course, as they get older the smelling becomes a bit awkward."

Kate threw her head back with a one-note laugh, "I bet it does." Elena startled and Kate patted her back, hummed an apology.

"But truly Katherine, it never fades, you never stop wanting to be near them; to make sure they're safe and happy."

"But..?"

Kate spread her right hand out to hold Elena in place; fingertips against the tiny skull and her palm spanning the baby's body. She reached her left arm out to stroke Erin's cheek with the back of her knuckles. She had so many questions yet didn't know what to ask.

Martha took Kate's hand into her own and gave it a light squeeze. "One day at a time Sweetheart, that's the best anyone can do."

A silence fell between them. Not uncomfortable but full; full of camaraderie, love, loss. Kate had long ago decided that, besides Johanna Beckett herself, there was no other woman on earth Kate would rather have as a confidant than Martha Rogers. They had both suffered the loss of a mother and felt the kind of rejection only a father could inflict, but sadness and hurt wasn't what bound these two together; Richard Castle and the unfailing love they both felt for him was their glue. The unconditional yet unconventional love of a mother for her only son, and the all-consuming passion-filled love of a woman for her soul mate; love, the tie that binds.

Elena continued to stir and fuss. Without thought of modesty, Kate freed her breast from her loose fitting nightgown and lowered her hungry child to it. She glanced to the clock, making sure to note the time for the nurse to enter into the chart. She would be so glad to be released from the confines of the hospital and its clinical approach to everything that Kate felt a natural and instinctive attachment to, even after just a short time. As her eyes trailed back to her daughter she noticed Martha's faraway look.

Trying to cover herself with a nearby blanket Kate quickly apologized. "I'm sorry Martha. Does this make you uncomfortable?"

"Oh no, don't cover up on my account." Martha shook her head and let out a funny huff between her upper teeth and lower lip. "I'm an actress, it takes allot more than a bare nipple to faze me." Her words were jovial but the distant look in her eyes remained. She seemed to watch with amazement as the baby suckled contentedly. "I do regret not being able to…"

Kate didn't want Martha to have to finish that sentence. "Rick mentioned once that you didn't… that he wasn't… breastfed." She really hoped Martha didn't ask her to elaborate on what circumstance had brought that little tidbit of information to light.

"I'm sure he did." Martha waggled her eyebrows. It reminded Kate so much of Rick.

"Were you unable?"

"Physically? No. Emotionally? You could say that." Martha rocked back and forth slightly in her chair; Erin had protested to her grandmother's attempts to snuggle her closer and was starting to fuss. "It was all just too overwhelming at the time, I guess. I felt like I needed to keep something for myself; I couldn't give him every piece of me. Selfish I know."

Kate didn't respond right away. Yeah, it was selfish of Martha, but understandable considering the circumstance. She was young, alone, unsure; all the things Kate wasn't. "How did you do it?"

"Do what Dear?

Martha rocked faster and patted Erin's backside. Kate wasn't sure that the baby's fussing had worsened. Maybe Martha just needed a distraction from the emotions, the memories.

"This," Kate gestured to both of her daughters. "Alone? Rick waits on me, on us, hand and foot. He holds one baby while I nurse the other, burps them both when they're full, he's changed all but one diaper since they were born, and I'm pretty sure, although I only got about two hours of sleep last night, he never got a wink."

"I'm sure he didn't." Martha chimed in with an ever-widening smile.

"I would be so lost without him."

Martha just repeated her words from earlier, "Oh that child of mine."

Before anymore could be said a nurse entered the room unannounced. Kate couldn't remember her name, there had been too many of them since being moved from labor and delivery to post-partum. Another thing she wouldn't miss after being discharged; the constant intrusion by the medical staff. She just wanted to take her babies home, be with her husband, start this new life together. '_One more day.' _she reminded herself silently.

"I'm sorry to interrupt but you have a visitor. She asked that I inform you of her presence. Seems she's not sure you'll be willing to see her."

It had only taken Kate a second to figure out who was standing just on the other side of the wall. She nodded in approval to the polite nurse who retreated through the door that stood slightly ajar. Kate's spine stiffened instantly and she ground her teeth together. She could feel the rush of blood as it crept up her chest and neck before finally settling in her cheeks. The physical reaction to the Captain's presence was so intense that even Elena could sense it. The infant immediately detached herself from Kate's breast and began to wail.

Suddenly distracted by her distressed child, Kate's motherly instincts took over as she murmured loving words to Elena. With a few gentle pats to the back and a quick rub of her nipple to the baby's upper lip, Elena was once again latched on and sucking ferociously.

"Sorry Baby, Momma forgot…" Her whispered apology was cut short by the realization. She'd forgotten. She'd failed to think of her child first. Had let the harsh reality of the world invade the moment. She hadn't protected her. "I won't make that mistake again. I promise."

"Katherine?" Martha was standing. "Where exactly are my son and granddaughter? I'd like to spend a few minutes with them before I head back."

"Cafeteria."

"Ah, should have surmised that, what with the hour." Martha turned toward the nearby bassinet but stopped when Captain Gates spoke for the first time since entering the room.

"May I?"

Both women looked to Kate for permission.

"Sure." Kate nodded to her mother-in-law. "It's okay Martha." But watched with protective concern as her youngest daughter was transferred from one set of arms to another; from a loving embrace to… to what? Indifferent, obligated, cold.

"Goodbye Dear. I'll see you at home tomorrow?" Martha kissed Kate's cheek lovingly, like a mother would; her surrogate mother. Then she ran her fingers across Elena's cheek, paused for a moment to feel the rhythm of the baby's sucking against the pad of her thumb. "I'll see you too, my perfect granddaughter." And to make sure Erin wasn't left out, she stopped in front of the darker women standing at the foot of the bed and offered the same goodbye to an equally perfect descendent.

Once alone with her superior, Kate regarded the stoic Captain. She recognized the perfectly tailored pant-suit, the dark hair pulled into a tight bun, the brusque line of Gates' tightly sealed lips. All familiar yet disliked attributes of her stern disapproving boss who apparently had been, or was on her way to the precinct, even on this beautiful summer Saturday. What she didn't recognize however, was the doe-eyed wonder with which the elder woman regarded Erin; a look so foreign that Kate purposefully blinked twice before actually believing what she was seeing.

"Sir?"

"Detective."

"Kate. In here - with them, it's Kate. Please."

Gates lifted her gaze to meet Kate's but not before taking a brief glance at Elena who continued to nurse heartily. Kate felt instantly awkward, invaded somehow. This was only for family to witness, loved ones. She instinctively pulled the blanket farther over her nursing child.

The Captain continued, "Kate, I know I'm not welcome, but on behalf of your family at the twelfth I thought I should come and congratulate you on your beautiful additions."

"Thank you Sir."

"And I brought this for them."

The Captain bent down to pick up a gift bag that Kate hadn't noticed her bring in. She took it from her boss with hesitation. "You didn't need..."

"I know, I assume you already have more than you need for these two." Kate watched Gates physically bite her tongue. She was obviously trying not to throw out any of the backhanded compliments she was known for. "I'm sorry, what I meant to say was that... Oh just... I would like to see it get some use again." She nodded to the gift bag.

Kate managed the best she could with the use of one hand. With the help of gravity, dropping the bag to the floor beside her, she pulled out the large white fluffy elephant. It was soft with pink satin covering the bottom of all four feet, the inside if both ears, the mouth and the tip of its truck. The eyes were a happy playful set of blue.

"It's cute, thank you."

"It belonged to my oldest. You squeeze it to turn it on." Kate did as her boss suggested and a soft rhythmic beating sound accompanied the slight vibration with each pulse. Gates continued, "It kept him company in the NICU for nine days. When no one could hold him, because he was too sick, that little guy did what I couldn't."

Kate knew nothing of this woman in front of her. She knew plenty about the harsh Captain she was while at work, but nothing of the mother, the wife. Kate had never once asked. Of course, Gates had never once offered either.

She tried to swallow the lump that had formed in her throat. "I'm sure my girls will love it. There's plenty of room for him in the bassinet with them, both here and at home." Kate maneuvered the fluffy pachyderm until it was seated in her lap, next to Elena. "If you're sure your son no longer wants it?"

"No, it served its purpose, kept my place until I was able to hold my baby in my arms for the first and last time." The Captain wiped at the moisture that threatened behind her eyelids. "It's time that little guy got to beat for the living instead of the dead."


	42. Chapter 42

**I know, I know. It's been a week. I was traveling over the holiday weekend. Oh yeah, Happy New Year by the way. I promise, I will try to pick up the pace a bit.**

**This is a short one. I'll try for another update this weekend.**

**xxxxxxxxxx**

Rick shut the rear of the SUV with a click. The flowers and gift baskets sent by friends, family, and other well-wishers were stowed neatly in the rear of the vehicle along with Kate's suitcase. He stopped for a moment, contemplated removing his jacket. Although it was late June, the early morning air was still chilly and slightly damp. However, he knew that by the time they made it home the summer sun would be blazing overhead.

"Castle?"

Rick didn't recognize the man's voice at first, but as his eyes lifted ever higher, past the blue scrubs the leather jacket and helmet, the source became evident.

Josh.

Damn the cool weather, Rick was _so_ taking his jacket off now. He knew his physique couldn't compare to the almost god-like specimen towering over him from the curb; although Rick had toned up quite a bit since marrying Kate, even more since finding out he would be a father again after forty. Nonetheless, Richard Castle's inner caveman was making a sudden appearance.

"Josh," with a shit-eating grin firmly in place, Rick stepped up with an outstretched hand. "How've you been?"

Retreating from the handshake, Rick slid his arms out of his jacket; folded it in half before slinging it over his crossed arms. He couldn't help but puff up his chest. This day was already great, and it had just gotten even better.

"Um, not too bad…" Josh visibly stumbled as he spoke.

Rick watched the taller man's eyes jump from place to place; first Rick, then to the constantly-in-motion hospital doors, and finally to the vehicle parked at the curb.

"So..?" Josh nodded toward the SUV he'd clearly seen Rick emerge from. "Tell me she's okay?"

What? Oh? Surely the good doc had seen the papers? "Yes, she's fine. We're fine."

Josh ran his fingers through his hair. It was long, longer anyway. "I've been gone… Haiti... a little over a year now."

"I get that." Suddenly Rick didn't feel so cocky. What would he have done had Kate rejected him? He couldn't blame Josh for running. Losing Kate… Oh god, he couldn't even imagine.

"Well, I've got to go." Josh pointed toward the building. "First day back. Tell Kate I said…well… yeah."

"Sure thing." Rick nodded uncomfortably.

The automatic door slid open just as Josh approached it. While his forward momentum stopped immediately, Rick was on the move almost as quickly.

"I can walk from here. Technically you did your job; I'm at the exit. Rick!"

Kate had been practically begging the volunteer to let her out of the wheelchair since the moment it had been pushed into their hospital room. As far Kate was concerned the elderly woman at her back looked like she needed the wheeled contraption more than Kate herself. But no matter the begging or complaining, she was always met with the same polite response.

'_It's hospital policy ma'am. I have to escort you and your youngins to the exit.'_

Rick gently placed his hand on the woman's frail shoulder. "I'll take it from here." He winked sweetly at her.

Kate huffed as the old woman blushed and retreated back into the bustling hospital. "Flirting with someone in your own age bracket for a change?"

"Oh," Rick squatted down in front of her. "Mommy is cranky today, huh girls?" He addressed the babies Kate was holding tightly against her chest.

He gently took Elena from her right arm, nimbly cradling the infant along the underside of his left forearm. With her scrawny legs pulled up to her belly her feet barely reached his bicep, her tiny cap-covered head fit easily in the palm of his large hand. Rick called it the football hold. Kate didn't like it, but what did she know? She was still new at this.

"That's not fair."

She kicked the feet rests up one by one then leaned forward to stand. Rick's free hand, the primary reason for the football hold was to allow for a free hand, firmly gripped her upper arm. He helped her stand.

"So you can call me old, but I can't call you cranky?"

"I'm not cranky, just... eager…" Kate stopped in her tracks and mid-sentence. "Josh?" She looked to her husband, who didn't seem surprised that her ex was standing between them and the car.

"Look who I ran into." Rick's eyes widened with some sort of apology.

"Wow." Josh, clearly uncomfortable with the situation in front of him, shuffled from one foot then to the other.

Kate smiled. Couldn't help it. She'd run into exes before. There was always that moment of discomfort, maybe some guilt, followed by the urge to run, but even that was usually outweighed slightly by the need to be cordial. Not this time. This time all she felt was pride. Pride in the choice she'd made well over a year ago. Pride in her husband, her children, her family. "Yeah, pretty amazing, huh?"

Josh stared at the baby in her arms. Kate could see his breathing was slightly labored, his eyes moist with emotion. "I had no idea."

"Josh just got back from Haiti." Rick tried to fill in the blanks for her.

Clearly understanding what Rick was implying, Josh shook his head. "I had no idea this was what you even wanted." He finally managed to look Kate in the eye.

"That's because I didn't…" She wasn't going to finish that sentence. She couldn't hurt him like that. Not because he meant anything to her anymore. Just because.

Josh smiled a weak vacant smile, "Not with me anyway." He finished for her. Suddenly all emotion was gone, Josh stood up straight, pivoted slightly towards Rick. "Congrats Man." He reached out to shake Rick's hand. "You have a beautiful family." As he slipped between the two of them, Josh briefly squeezed Kate's shoulder, and then he was gone.

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"I think he thought you'd been shot or something."

Kate pulled her eyes from the mirror on her visor. Rick had installed two shatterproof mirrors onto the head reads of both seats behind her. It was the only way he'd convinced her that she wasn't going to squeeze herself into the small space between the two car seats for the ride home; or the ride anywhere else for that matter. She'd been staring at the reflections of her sleeping babies for the whole ride.

"What? Who?"

"Josh. When he saw me loading the car. He was visibly concerned."

"And yet you still gloated." It wasn't a question.

"What? Me? No I didn't…" Rick chuckled. "Fine, maybe just a little bit."

"Mmm-hmm." Kate thumped her knuckles against his chest. He'd been holding her hand there since pulling away from the hospital. "Didn't he see that?"

Rick looked down at their entwined hands. That's when he saw it, he'd forgotten all about it. "Oh, maybe? Do you think he got it?"

Kate took another long look at the girls sleeping behind them then gingerly turned in her seat to face her husband; every movement reminding her of just how sore she still was. She rubbed her right hand over the words on his broad chest. She had no idea why he insisted on wearing the goofy thing, but for some reason he thought it was funny. So did she, but she'd never admit it. "He's not stupid. He runs into _you_ outside of a hospital, grinning like The Cheshire Cat wearing a shirt that reads, '_They call me Big Poppa' _and you think he's not gonna get it?"

Rick didn't answer, just nodded in agreement as he pulled the car off the side of the winding road, making sure to park it under a large tree for shade, then shifted it into park. After a few seconds of silence he turned to face her. "Do you have to do this today, Kate? You're worn out."

Kate closed her eyes, tried not to let her agitation surface. He was right; she was tired, sore, and cranky even. "Rick." She opened them again, could see the worry in his face; the love. "I have to… I can't take them home until..." She was too tired to have this same discussion with him.

"I get it." Rick raised her hand to his lips and brushed a soft kiss across the back of it. "Let me help you get out. Then I'll get them."

Kate watched as he hopped from the car. He left the engine running, she assumed so the interior of the car wouldn't get too hot for the flowers in the back. Oh, and for the babies when they got back to the car. He jogged around the front with a steadying hand on the hood. He had no idea how tired he looked, did he? Kate knew he'd gotten less sleep than she had the last few nights. Between taking care of her while she nursed, taking care of Erin and Elena while she slept, and entertaining every visitor that stopped by, he'd run himself ragged. Kate's heart fisted in guilt, why didn't she just let him take her straight home? Why did she always have to add to his burden?

When he opened her door to help her out she halted him momentarily with a hand to his cheek. She rubbed her thumb over the dark circle beneath his eye. "I'll make it quick."

Rick leaned into her touch, kissed the pad of her thumb before moving to the back seat. "Take your time, Love."

Kate watched as Rick unfastened and lifted Elena from the car seat situated behind the front passenger seat. She laughed to herself as she remembered the two hour conversation they'd had in the wee hours of the morning about the logistics of which baby would ride where.

"Has the last day and a half taught you nothing? Our time is no longer our own."

"Well then, here's your little timemonger." Rick laughed as he handed Elena to Kate.

"Toss me a blanket too." She held out her hand.

He tossed her one of the receiving blankets that perfectly matched the footed button up outfits each baby was wearing. Elena's was purple with bunnies, Erin's was the same only pink.

"What? She's not gonna be warm enough in her _romper_?"

He accentuated the last word. They'd also spent the better part of an hour discussing the ironic use of a word meaning _'to play or frolic boisterously' _to describe an article of clothing worn by humans too small to do _anything_ boisterously, let alone play or frolic. Kate leveled him with a glare clearly warning him not to even think about starting up that conversation again.

"There's a nice shade tree when we get there, but the walk might be too sunny."

Kate covered Elena loosely with the blanket and waited for Rick to come around with Erin. He was fussing with the pink blanket, but finally seemed to have it in place as he pulled up next to her, placing his free hand at the small of her back. "Lead the way, Mommy."

Kate twisted around to capture his hand in hers. The weather was pleasant; sunny but not too warm. She took a deep breath of fresh air to clear away the stuffy feeling that had settled around her since being admitted into the hospital the day before yesterday. She hated being cooped up. Then she realized this was their first walk together; the twins first time outside. Suddenly it was all a little overwhelming; all the firsts that would take place over the next days, weeks, months, even years. As they approached their destination she couldn't hold back the tears. She looked down at the cold slab of granite protruding from the lush green earth.

"Hi Mom."

This too was a first. For all of them.

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**Had to get Josh in here somehow. Rub a little salt in the wound?**


	43. Chapter 43

**Well I didn't quite get it out over the weekend, but four days between updates isn't so bad. Especially when there are two chapters of Chezchuckles' _Dash Away_, one chapter of Sandiane Carter's _Glimpses of the Moon_, and one of international08's _Warm and Fuzzy _waiting unread in my inbox. **

**Okay, so I will keep my word from Chapter one and Love Letters will be the Epilogue to this story. However it takes place about two days ofter the twins birth and there are still so many little moments, snippets in time, to be seen between now and then. **

**I'm dragging it out, on behalf of all that have requested that this story go on forever. Yes, lilacminteraire, corlando, and (at)EricaBurnam, I'm talking to you. But never fear, I have a sequel planned that starts off where this one ends. If this one ever ends. **

**xxxxxxxxxx **

"I feel like I should be doing something."

The new family had returned home to an empty loft. Alexis was out with Ashley for what, by the sound of an overheard conversation the night before, could be the last time. Martha and Jim had promised to stop by sometime during the day to welcome home the girls, but wanted to give Kate and Rick time and space to settle in first. The rest of the gang was still at work, but would be bringing dinner by later.

"You are." Rick kissed the top of Kate's head; held her even tighter to his side. "Resting. Healing."

"There's so much to do." She didn't move to get up, just buried her face deeper into his chest.

"That's what I thought with Alexis."

"Do go on, oh Enlightened One?" Kate rubbed his belly much like one would the statue of a chubby Buddha.

"Well, My Child, you see…" Rick started out joking, but turned serious. "After I brought Alexis home I thought I needed to spend every spare second cleaning, or cooking, or organizing. I'd have her next bottle waiting hours before she needed it, and there was always a clean outfit at the ready. I would completely map the day; bath time, tummy-time, even walks." He laughed, tossed his head back against the couch cushions. "Oh man, I was a freak about fresh air." Then he paused, got caught-up somewhere in the memories.

"And?" Kate twiddled with the fabric of his tee-shirt, tickled at the indentation of his belly button beneath.

"And…" He stressed the word, "she was two weeks old; I was exhausted, she was screaming. I'd tried everything, food, diaper change, her stroller, swing, bouncy seat. I was at my wit's end. Finally, out of options, I just took her to bed with me."

"Your old standby, huh?" Kate quipped on the tail end of a yawn.

"Until you, Kate." He touched his lips to her head again; his breath warming her from head to toe. "You were deeply entrenched in my heart long before you were ever in my bed." He playfully smacked the swell of her hip. "Now hush and let me finish the bedtime story."

"It's only noon."

"Kate."

"Fine, continue." The softness of her cheek molded around his collarbone as she smiled.

"Thank you." He feigned annoyance. "So, there we were, both completely worn down; her from bawling her eyes out, me from everything. When I finally stopped, just took a moment to look at her, I almost didn't recognize what I saw. She didn't look the same as she had the day she was born; didn't look like the picture I had of her in my mind's eye."

Kate sat up, pushed her hand against his firm chest to put some space between them; to see his face. It was etched with regret, even to this day. "Two weeks?" She swallowed hard, looked to the nearby bassinet. She couldn't see either of her girls inside. She could, however, hear the rhythmic click of the back of Elena's tongue connecting with the farthest reaches of the roof of her mouth as she sucked on a huge rubber pacifier. Then, as if echoing each click, Erin's deep yet soft grunts as she willed herself to sleep without the assistance of a comforting hand to her back or a lullaby in her ear. Still, not being able to see them didn't mean not seeing. Kate had already committed their faces to memory. Two faces the same, yet different in so many subtle ways that only a mother could differentiate. "They change that fast?"

His continuing narrative confirmed her question. "Fuller cheeks, brighter - more focused eyes, the baby acne I'd caused from repetitive kisses to her face, all gone."

"You'd been a great daddy." Kate tried to ease his worry; kissed his cheek, rested her head on his shoulder, lips against his neck. "She was thriving, flourishing."

"And I'd missed it all." She felt him swallow hard. His Adam's apple bobbed in his throat. "I'm not going to miss any of it this time. I'm not gonna let you miss any of it either."

"Ah, the wisdom that comes with age." Kate kissed his neck.

"Hey, that's the second time you've called me old today."

Kate huffed, would've rolled her eyes had he been able to see it. "Really, and here I thought I was calling you wise?"

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In one motion, despite their obvious fatigue, Kate and Rick both shot up from the couch. The screaming baby only feet away had them instantly awake. Kate automatically glanced at her watch.

"Three o'clock." Her voice was heavy, groggy.

Rick had already made his way to the bassinet. He handed Elena to Kate as she somewhat unconsciously lifted the left side of her tee-shirt, slipped her arm out of it. The material bunched around her neck; pulled at her right arm still slung through the sleeve. She nimbly unsnapped the closure of her bra on the left side.

Rick immediately returned to the bassinet to retrieve Erin. She'd begun to fuss too, but at a much lower decibel than her twin. He held her to his chest just below his chin. His broad hand covering her whole body while he walked through the open door of the study.

Kate pivoted slightly, the leather cushion squeaked in protest beneath her. She leaned against the arm of the couch, scooted down enough to get comfortable, and to ensure, should she fall asleep while nursing, that gravity would hold her arms, and the baby in them, in place. After only a few seconds she heard her husband return, his bare feet slapping against the hardwood before encountering the soft area rug situated under the grouping of furniture.

"When you're done, try this." She felt the soft piece of material fall across her arms. She didn't need to open her eyes to know that it was one of his button-ups. "Not that a shirt half up over your head isn't a good look on you; it's kinda hot actually, but not something I think you want to share with the boys when they get here."

Kate blindly reached out and pinched his thigh. Tired or not, she still managed to snag a large chunk of flesh even through his jeans. He yelped and jumped out of her reach. Between the movement and the noise both babies cried in protest. Although, Elena was quickly distracted by the scent of her mother and had barely finished one complete wail before latching back on. Erin, on the other hand, made sure her parents knew that their messing around had thoroughly irked her.

"I know Lil'bit," Rick rubbed her back, bounced on the balls of his feet to soothe her. "Domestic violence isn't funny."

"Keep that up and I'll show you domestic violence." Kate groused.

"Don't listen to her, Erin. I'll protect you from your mean Mommy."

"Castle!" Before Kate could even level another mock threat, Elena again popped off her breast and let out another screech. "Oh Baby." Kate sat up, rubbed the baby's back, cuddled her tighter into her half-dressed body. "I'm sorry. Daddy and I are just playing." She pried herself up from the couch. The one-handed task was a little more painful than it normally would've been had all her muscles not been exerted beyond normal limits just a day and a half prior. She shuffled across the living space to the kitchen dragging his deep purple dress shirt with her. "Isn't that right, Daddy?"

Rick dropped the teabag he'd been struggling with, one-handed, on the counter. He turned at his wife's questioning to drop an apologetic kiss to Elena's cheek. He rose only inches to kiss the exposed mound of flesh his daughter was again steadfastly attached to before straightening completely to kiss Kate square on the mouth. "That's right, Mommy. Just playing"

His lips were only gone long enough for the three words to escape. Then they covered hers completely. His head tilted slightly and she gladly obliged the entrance of his tongue. Rick moved slow and soft, not asking anymore from her than just a brief taste. His mouth left hers, trailed over her cheek, across her jaw until he reached her ear.

"Let me." He whispered. His free arm snaked around her back, lifted the wadded up shirt over her head and down her other arm. He grabbed his shirt from the bar where she'd dropped it on her way to the kitchen and draped it over her shoulders. Once finished, his right hand settled at the small of her back; fingers splayed, cradling her, much like his left cradled their youngest between them.

Kate rested her forehead on the side of his neck. Her face was mere inches from one of the precious faces that now filled her dreams; both waking and sleeping. Small hot puffs of air warmed what little space she'd left between herself and her daughter. She fought back the threatening shiver but goosebumps nevertheless formed over every inch of exposed flesh. She cupped Erin's head, ran her thumb along the shell of the baby's tiny ear; the twins both had Rick's ears. Kate's thumb stopped to again feel the hint of a point at the top. It was barely there, almost elfish just like their father, but there enough for a Mommy to notice.

"How'd we get here?" She whispered.

"Hush, you'll jinx it." Rick playfully pressed his fingers into her back.

"Rick?"

"I don't know, Kate. But there's no other place I'd rather be." He bent his neck to kiss Elena once more. "With my Half-Pint." His neck turned again, teeth grazing Kate's neck. "With her beautiful Momma."

Before Rick could finish, Kate's lips met Erin's diminutive nose. "With my Little Sprite." She raised her head to kiss his jaw. "With her amazing Daddy."

Suddenly the front door flew open and slammed shut just as quickly. A teary-eyed Alexis stood silent just inside the loft. When she saw her family huddled together in the kitchen her chin began to tremble. "Dad? Mom?"

Rick could see Alexis trying to keep it together. He had to assume she and Ashley had ended things. "You look like you could use a group hug."

"Yeah," Alexis dropped her purse as she made her way to them.

Rick stretched out his arm, gestured for his oldest daughter to get in. Kate's arm wrapped around Alexis' waist. Rick's hand at Kate's back snagged one of the teenager's belt loops. Almost simultaneously, each parent kissed an opposite tear-soaked cheek.

"And now, with our our perfect Pumpkin, we're complete."

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**I'll get more into the Alexis/Ash break up next chapter. Felt like I needed to catch that part up to what is actually happening on the show. Odd, I know, but just seems right.**


	44. Chapter 44

**Fluff, Fluff, and more Fluff**

**That is all…**

**xxxxxxxxxx**

"Go."

"But..?"

Kate shoved playfully at Rick's shoulder, causing him to sway slightly off-kilter. He was hunched over, loading the last of the lunch dishes into the dishwasher, but still managed to smack the underside of the appliance door before grabbing the granite countertop for support. The dirty utensils jingled as the machine slammed shut.

"But nothing. They're fed, changed, content; they're perfect. I've got this." Dishrag in hand, Kate pointed to the crumb-covered bar. She crossed her arms over her ribcage, leaned back ever-so-subtly, and tapped a sock-clad toe to the floor. She was practically daring him to insinuate that she was incapable of wiping down a countertop while taking care of two sleeping babies. Ok, not incapable. Rick doted he did not condescend; she had to remind herself of that, but still…

"No, _you're_ perfect." Rick skirted around her; his hand skimmed the small of her back as he passed. "I'll make it quick." He headed for the stairs.

"You'll make it as long as it takes."

"Yes Mommy!" He hollered jovially down from the upper level. However, once standing outside his eldest daughter's bedroom door, his mood quickly shifted from jovial to somber.

Alexis had said she was fine; had seen the breakup coming, initiated it even. In an attempt to prove it, she'd sat through lunch with her parents and newborn siblings. She'd even ridiculed her dad's ridiculous tee-shirt to no end, but then comforted him with a hug after both babies spit up on it; Elena once - Erin twice. However, the heartbroken teen was only able to keep up the carefree façade for so long. She'd respectfully bowed out of dessert and offered to take care of the dinner dishes in exchange for shirking the duty presently. The obvious pain Rick could see in her eyes rendered him incapable of even chiding her on her un-Castle-like sense of responsibility.

"Can I come in?" The words came out simultaneous to his knock.

A strangled reply barely permeated the thick wooden door. "Sure."

Alexis was sitting on top of her comforter, leaning against the headboard of her bed. She had her legs pulled up to her chest, arms wrapped tightly against her shins. Rick could tell by the red circles on her forehead that she had been resting it on her kneecaps; curled up, closed off. Too much like Kate. The old Kate.

"Hey," He nudged at her shoulder asking her to make space. When she did, he scooted in next to her; placed his arm around her shoulders. "What can I do?"

Alexis shrugged, her head tipped to the side to rest in the space between his shoulder and jaw. "It just hurts, you know?"

"Yeah, I know." Rick squeezed her shoulders a little tighter, used his left hand to smooth the tense muscles in her left arm as she fiddled with the material of his jeans. "I'm proud of you." Alexis raised her head, turned to look her father in the eye. Rick could see the question; she didn't have to ask. "You know what you want, you don't settle for less. Most girls your age would either compromise their own feelings for a boy, or maybe even try to make the boy bend to hers." He was silent for a moment, letting it sink in. "Even though it hurt, you did what you felt was best, not only for you, but for Ashley."

"Still hurts." She practically grunted.

"For now, but not forever."

"How do you know?"

"Because he wasn't the one." Rick pressed his slips to the top of her head.

"How do you know?" Alexis asked again.

"Because if he was, you wouldn't have to ask."

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Kate opened her eyes to a shadow-filled room. She was groggy, unsure, unaware. She used her arm to lift herself into a seated position, more out of habit than necessity; residuals from being pregnant. She glanced at the clock as she shook the cobwebs from her muddled mind. It was a few minutes before eleven. She craned her neck back and forth, stretching out the kinks that had apparently set-in as she napped. She dropped her head in her hands, elbows on her knees, and tried to remember how she'd ended up here; sleeping half-on - half-off the bed. She was dressed and the covers were still made up underneath her.

What was the last thing she remembered?

Dinner; Lanie, the boys, her dad, and Martha. Everyone had come over to welcome home the twins; celebrate. There'd been pizza, Kate didn't dare touch it. Who knows what spicy pepperoni and sausage would do to the babies; they had a tendency to spit up if she ate anything too heavy in the evenings? Rick had made her some buttered noodles instead.

She remembered everyone saying their goodbyes a little after nine. Then, exhausted, she'd come into the bedroom to change into some pajamas. At the remembrance, she looked around, strained her eyes in the darkness, felt for them with her hands. Yep, there was her husband's clean dress shirt she'd pulled from a hanger in the closet along with a pair of yoga pants; stretchy and comfortable. She grabbed the clothes and walked toward the bathroom, the light from underneath the closed door filtered into the bedroom, lighting her path.

When she opened the door, the brightness hit her full force. She squinted against the too bright lights. It took her a few seconds to get acclimated, but even in her over-tired state the sight before her filled her heart; made her smile.

Rick stood at her vanity-style sink across the room slightly to her left. Unlike his, to her right, which wasn't more than a bowl-style sink set atop a few feet of black granite; Kate's extended at least four feet to the left of the hand-blown blue-green glass bowl. It allowed space for all the things one would assume an upper-class woman might need. However, most of the time the shiny surface remained empty, holding little more than a hairbrush and maybe a bottle of hairspray. Kate wasn't one for clutter; everything had its place; put away neatly in one of the four drawers below.

Tonight however, the normally desolate surface held two items more precious than gold.

Elena; clean, dressed, and squirming, sat strapped into what Rick called a bouncy-seat. She was wearing pastel green pajamas, which were way too big, but that Kate knew from memory had been amongst some of the smallest sized clothes they'd purchased. Kate couldn't help but smile as the green terrycloth inflated then deflated with each tiny kick the pint-sized baby gave.

Erin, squirming worse than her sister, was naked on the oversized teddy-shaped sponge that had come as part of a three-stage bathtub they'd bought. Stage one being the sponge alone. Stage two, the sponge inside a larger plastic bathtub, and finally stage three, for when the girls could sit up on their own, was just the blue-plastic tub itself. Rick's left hand cradled her head and shoulders while his right cleaned her face, neck, and belly. Kate watched in awe as he dipped the yellow washcloth into the glass bowl, squeezed the excess water and suds out before wiping Erin's sensitive skin. How hands that large could be so gentle was a mystery to her; a mystery she would spend the rest of her life trying to solve.

Kate felt her body tingle with joy at the way his face, already alight with glee, brightened ever so much more as he caught sight of her in the mirror. Her own pajamas forgotten in a pile on the tile floor, Kate stepped up beside him.

"Hey sleepyhead." Rick's reflection winked at hers. "You decide to join the land of the living?"

"Hmm," she winked back with a slight nod before bending down to greet Elena. "Hey beautiful girl." She nuzzled the soft cheek with her nose, kissed the tiny set of puckering lips. "Don't you smell good?" Kate breathed in the wondrous baby smell. "Daddy took care of that _swamp neck_ you were developing, huh?"

"You know it." Rick chuckled. "It's like they can defy the laws of gravity. Everything seems to find its way into that little crack; spit-up, lint, a couple of strands of your hair." He cringed. "I wouldn't have been surprised to find the last few socks I'd lost to the dryer in there!"

Kate chuckled and Rick suddenly found it very hard to concentrate on the task at hand. Who could blame him? With his beautiful wife wooing such adorable sounds and expressions from his equally beautiful daughter. With the way her hair was slung to one side allowing him to see every kiss, every touch, every nuzzle. He listened, her voice soft to match her eyes, as she poured her love out, spoke blessings followed by sweet nothings. He took note of every promise made, knowing that he would do everything in his power to make sure she kept them.

"Rick..? Rick..? Castle!"

Rick jumped at the urgent sound of her voice. Somehow he'd gotten lost in it all. "What?"

"A little help here?"

Kate didn't stand up; couldn't stand up. Somehow Elena's long fingers had gotten tangled in her mother's hair. The still moist hands were both fisted tightly in the lengthy tendrils, and any attempt Kate made to move only caused the baby to grip tighter. Elena's mouth formed the cutest little O shape and her head bobbed back and forth as she pulled.

"Here,"

Rick grabbed Kate's hand and positioned it over Erin's towel-wrapped body, effectively holding the baby in place on the sponge, before shifting to Kate's opposite side. He curled his fingers gently around both of Elena's petite arms, much like he did her legs when he changed her diaper; with a finger in between each appendage. The move proved helpful. Elena stopped tugging as her lips found purchase on the plump flesh at the base of her father's thumb.

Kate elbowed him in the thigh, "How hard can it be? She weighs five pounds for crying out loud?"

"Says the woman who can't seem to get herself out of said five-pounder's clutches." His hand shifted, tried a new tactic. "This child is relentless." Rick joked while slowly pulling strands of hair, one-by-one from her grasp. He was careful not to move too quickly or pull too hard for fear of cutting the baby's skin. "Let her get one whiff of you and she's off the rails."

"Like father like daughter, I get it." Kate's voice was a mixture of amusement and impatience. "Can you please just…?" She didn't finish the sentence because suddenly Erin began to cry. Kate turned her head to soothe the fussy baby. "Shh baby, I know, I'm sorry."

"Kate, you're not helping." Rick tugged harder at her hair.

"I know, but I think I'm hurting her. This _is_ kind of an awkward angle."

Rick stopped. "Look, let me put Erin in the bassinet, and then I'll come back to get this one out of your hair." He tapped her hip as he scooted around her to get Erin, who Kate was now only holding onto by the ankle.

"Ha ha, pun intended I'm sure."

Surprisingly he was back in a flash, but not before Elena who, like an expert angler, had completely reeled her mother in. Kate was bent over at a right angle, her palms flattened against the granite countertop, her arms bent so acutely that her elbows pointed almost directly at the ceiling.

Rick dropped a hand to her back, "You okay there, Mommy?"

"Just perfect, Daddy." Kate spoke through clenched teeth. "She's seems to be content now. It should just be a matter of untangling her fingers."

He leaned in to see what had finally done the trick. His eyes widened, "Are you serious? Don't move I'm going to get the camera."

"Don't you dare." Kate warned, but he'd already scampered from the room. "Your daddy is in so much trouble."

He was only gone a few seconds. "Say cheese." Rick laughed as he took more than one picture of the connected mother-and-child.

"Okay, that's enough." Kate managed to elbow the lens just as he brought it in for another close-up. "I'm serious, this is starting to hurt."

Rick practically dropped the camera. "Oh Love, I'm sorry. I didn't realize."

All the playfulness was gone from his voice. He mentally slapped himself for not realizing. Of course it would hurt. She'd just had her guts practically turned inside out, and here he was laughing and taking pictures while she was in pain. He once again hooked the baby's arms with his fingers. He wiggled the large tip of his thumb into one of Elena's palms forcing her to relinquish Kate's hair. Once he'd liberated one hand, he made sure to hold that whole arm down with his elbow. He repeated the process with the other hand and Kate was finally free.

With a groan, Kate pushed herself up from the uncomfortable position. She turned on Rick immediately. "The camera?" She smacked his chest. "Really?"

"But?" Rick could see the tease in her eyes, but he stammered nonetheless. "She was…" He pointed to Elena, "…and you were." He bent slightly at the waist in an attempt to mimic Kate's previous stance. "Oh, damn, it was just so cute."

Kate's face broke into a huge smile, she tried to hold in the laughter, but it broke free. She moved to drop her head onto his shoulder, but stopped just short. Her hand came up to brush the hair from the side of her face, her fingers probing at the swollen lobe of her ear. "Oh my god! I think she gave me a hickey"


	45. Chapter 45

**This chapter is really kicking my but, so I decided to cut it in two. There's only one more before the epilogue. I think I'm dreading saying goodbye to this story.**

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Rick bounded down the stairs with an unopened pack of diapers tucked under his arm, completely skipping the bottom step choosing instead to hop over it on his way to the front door. His socked feet glided effortlessly over the shiny hardwood until, with a curl of his toes, he came to a smooth stop. Just a couple flips of his wrist ensured that the loft was locked up for the night. He jogged the short distance to their bedroom and dropped the plastic package next to the changing pad that had taken up temporary residence on Kate's dresser. He turned to the bassinet which stood almost flush with Kate's side of the bed; '_within arm's reach'_she'd said. He tugged at the sheet; gathering the soft cotton into a ball as he headed for the bathroom.

"Doors locked. Diapers."

He was in the closet, dirty sheet already in the hamper, digging through the stack of baby linens and blankets before he'd even gotten all three words out. Having found what he was looking for, he hustled out of the closet, through the bathroom, and back to the bedroom. He lifted the thin bassinet mattress and quickly clothed it with the pink sheet; he tucked the soft material at each corner and around every side for a snug fit. Then he went back the way he came, skating through the bathroom.

"Burp cloth."

Into the closet and back out with said item in hand; he quickly placed the rectangular shaped cloth near the head of the babies' bed. He mentally crossed his fingers that, should Erin again decide to regurgitate half her stomach contents, he'd be lucky enough to only have to change the burp cloth not the whole sheet.

Another pivot and he was yet again in the bathroom. He skirted around the two bouncy-seats situated near the bathtub. Well almost; his pinky toe skimmed the base of one seat, not too hard, but enough to trigger Elena's startle reflex. Her tiny arms instantly jumped from her sides; her hands in tight fists pointing at the ceiling. Rick froze, waited for her to scream, but thankfully her arms lowered an inch or so with each slight bounce until they once again rested at her sides; she'd slept right through it.

"Sorry Baby." He whispered on an exhale of relief. "But when nature calls..." He didn't finish his sentence; couldn't. He was too busy trying to catch his breath; whether he was breathless from all the running around the house, or from relief, he didn't know nor did he care.  
>Out of the corner of his eye, Rick could see Kate's head bobbing back and forth. He startled slightly at the sound of her voice, he'd assumed she was more asleep than awake, as she soaked in the almost over-flowing tub.<p>

"'_Motherhood has a very humanizing effect. Everything gets reduced to essentials.'" _

"Hey, what can I say? I. Had. To. Pee." He accentuated each word before letting out a sigh of pleasure as he pulled his boxers and sweats back up to his hips. "I'd been holding it since…" He paused so as not to have to speak over the flushing. "…since… I really have no idea." He laughed as he washed his hands.

"Been that kinda day, huh Forrest?" Kate chuckled.

"'_I just felt like run-ninG_.'" He made sure to drag out the last word, adding the hard G sound.

Kate's hand fluttered in the clear water. "Well stop; come sit with us."

"Jeez, Kate!" Rick's feet slipped and he landed with a thud. One knee cracked sharply against the tile floor, his ribcage banged the side wall of the tub. "You'd think with a tub that big you'd be able to keep all the water _inside_." He huffed playfully at her while he pulled his damp socks off. He didn't bother to get up, just threw them in the direction of the closet.

"Sorry, I just can't keep my hands to myself." Her head tilted slightly and he followed her gaze to the babies. He noticed damp streaks in both babies' hair. His wife had obviously been running her wet fingers through the soft strands.

"Can't say as I blame you." He dipped his fingers in the warm water, shook of the excess before shaping Erin's brown locks into submission. He repeated the action with Elena, pinching the line of hair from her forehead to her crown between his ring and index fingers. He made sure to smooth the hair along the grain of the cowlick. The resulting curl brought back a flash of memories. "I used to do Alexis' like that." He slipped his hand back into the water, found Kate's bicep with his fingertips, rubbed the sensitive skin on the inside of her arm. "Tried for months to train it to curl on its own; didn't work, too stick straight. Shouldn't be that hard for theirs though, they've got your body." Realizing what he'd said, he smiled and wagged his eyebrows.

Kate ran a wet hand through his hair. "Thank goodness. I mean, can you imagine trying to diaper a backside the size of yours?"

"Don't joke." He squeezed her arm. "Why do you think I married a younger woman? Figured I might need someone to take care of me in my old age."

"No way, that's gonna be their job." She pointed to the sleeping babies. "Turnabout's fair play, right?"

Rick continued to caress Kate's arm even as he laid his head on the wide edge of the Jacuzzi tub. They sat in silence, thankful for a quiet moment. They'd been home for almost a day and a half. Most of it had been a blur of feedings, diaper changes, and rocking babies, but they'd eventually fallen into some semblance of a groove. They'd each managed to catch a couple of quick naps between feedings, and thanks to Alexis they'd eaten at least two real meals to keep them going.

"You good?"

Her question surprised him, he turned his head to look at her; rested his chin where his cheek had just been. "Yeah. You?" He used his dry hand to smooth the flyaway hairs on her forehead; raked his fingernails against her scalp.

"Tired." Just then a muffled growl made its way up from the depths. "Hungry too it seems."

"There's no sense in trying to catch a nap before these two eat again, but..." He jumped to his feet. "You got them?"

Kate sat up, "I'm getting out. A bubble bath's no fun without bubbles anyway." She gave the twins a withering glare. "Why do you guys come with so many rules?" She laughed as Erin peaked at her through one eye and answered with a resounding grunt. "Great, back talking already."

"Here," Rick tossed a clean nightgown and a pair of granny-panties on the vanity, "get dressed, and meet me in there." He pointed to the bedroom before again disappearing through the door.

After drying off, dressing and re-braiding her hair; after the fiasco with Elena's _sticky fingers _the previous evening she wasn't taking any chances, Kate unstrapped Erin from the bouncy-seat. She was on her way to the bedroom just as Rick entered. He passed by her with a squeeze to her hip. "I'll get the other half of the equation."

"The what?"

"You know, E-squared. Get it?"

Kate tapped a finger to the corner of her mouth as if she was trying to figure it out. "Wouldn't that make her a square-root?"

Castle stood with Elena in hand. "What do I look like, a mathematician? Jeez Woman."

Kate didn't get the chance to give a retort or to scold him for the name calling. She was too stunned by what he'd done to their room. The top-sheet and comforter were rolled back, creating a bolster at the foot of the bed. All their pillows were propped up against the headboard. Stretched across the expanse of the mattress was a blue and white checkered tablecloth; on top of that, a picnic basket. The iPod on his nightstand played softly; somehow he'd managed to find something sounding like birds chirping in the trees and waves crashing on the shore.

"Castle, what is this?" She could feel him standing at her back.

"This," he stopped to lay the baby in the bassinet, "is our first Mommy-Daddy date."

He nudged at her shoulders forcing her to turn so he could take Erin from her. She held tight, just long enough to brush her lips over the baby's cheek, then her tiny hand. She moved with him to the bassinet. She made sure the rolled blanket was placed just-right behind Erin's back to keep her slightly propped to one side. The position seemed to help the newborn sleep more soundly, while preventing her from choking when she spit-up. Elena had neither issue, and therefore slept flat on her back next to her sister.

"I asked Alexis to pick up a couple of those wedge things you read about on-line next time she goes out."

Rick watched as his wife leaned over the bassinet, placed a soft kiss to Elena's head just as she'd done to Erin. He loved that everything Kate did with their daughters began and ended with a soft kiss, a quiet whisper, or a gentle touch. When she stood erect he couldn't help but take her in his arms. He kissed her softly, gently stroked the small of her back, and quietly whispered in her ear. "I love you." After all, didn't she deserve exactly what she gave?

"Hmm." She hummed into his chest, but then pushed against it with the palms of her hands.

"Hey, what kinda girl do you think I am? I don't put out on a first date."

They both laughed knowing, first date or not, it would be quite awhile before she'd be able to put out at all.

"What? No way, wouldn't think of it. I know you're a lady."

Rick took her hand and led her to the bed. He picked up the napkin that was acting as a place holder. She climbed in, resting her back against the pillow-lined headboard. He then spread the linen square across her lap before crawling to his own spot across from her. He left just enough room between them to serve the food.

It wasn't anything fancy, but Kate didn't care; it was the company that mattered. He opened the basket and pulled out two little plastic bottles of milk with snap top lids. He'd bought a whole case of them simply because they fit perfectly into the side pockets of the diaper bag; the ones meant for bottles. '_Hey, since we won't be using bottles for a while, why not?'_ he'd said. Then came the leftover grilled chicken breast from dinner, sliced atop a bed of lettuce. Iceberg for her, anything greener-leafier would surely cause the babies trouble later; well Erin at least. Rick held up two bottles, ranch and Italian. She nodded and he drizzled the ranch over her salad, then his before handing her the plate and some silverware.

"A toast?" She raised her milk and waited for him to come up with something.

He held his drink aloft, "To my extraordinary wife, because she deserves so much more than just the _essentials_."

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**I know, too short. The next one picks up where this one leaves off.**


	46. Chapter 46

"Uh-uh-uh," Rick shook his head, "first rule of Mommy-Daddy dates; no talking about…" He tipped his head in the direction of the babies.

"About what actually makes a Mommy-Daddy date possible?" Kate asked, finishing his thought.

Then there was silence, she really couldn't think of anything else to talk about at the moment. Erin and Elena were just barely three days old, and yet they consumed her every thought; her every moment. Okay, so they're on a date. _What do two people on a date talk about? What did they talk about when they dated?_ She quickly realized that train of thought would get her nowhere fast. She and Rick never really dated. They spent hours standing in front of a murder board, many an evening side-by-side in the Crown Vic, and seemingly endless days of silent togetherness while she did paperwork, and he did nothing. Well, not nothing; he played Angry Birds, stared at her creepily, and completely decimated her candy dish. Of course he'd also been the only one to fill said vessel of sugar for the last how many years now? Needless to say, they'd gone about this whole thing backwards, or sideways at least.

"Work?" His single word pulled her from her thoughts.

"What about it?"

Rick smiled, "People on dates talk about themselves; work, hobbies, likes, dislikes. Let's start with work."

If this was how he wanted to play it, then okay. "So, Mr. Castle," Kate took another bite of her salad; pretended to be thoughtfully forming her question as she chewed. "What's it like being a world-famous writer of fictions?"

The chosen descriptor caught him off guard. He choked slightly on his milk; was pretty sure some of the white liquid had escaped his nasal passages as he did. The memory she'd invoked, it seemed like a lifetime ago. "Well Senorita," He couldn't be so bold as to refer to her as Nikki Fuego; that would be too obvious. Still, when he saw the flash of heat in her eyes, and the slight upturn at the corners of her mouth, he could tell she knew he'd remembered. Of course he had. "I wouldn't say world famous; nationally - yes, but world - no."

It was Kate's turn to choke. Modesty was never Richard Castle's style, but this was a date, so she held her tongue and waited for him to continue.

"It has its perks." They both knew what he meant by that; _who_ he meant by that. "Actually, I'm on a bit of a hiatus from my writing currently. Some other…" He paused, not wanting to break rule number one. "…priorities have become more important as of late."

Kate made a conscious effort to pout; her bottom lip jutted out and her eyebrows quirked with disappointment. She'd been a closet fan-girl once, she could channel that time in her life again. "So, no more Nikki Heat books then? What about Rook?"

"They'll be more; you'll just have to wait a little longer for it. Heightens the anticipation, don't you think?" Then he quickly turned the questioning on her. "And what about you; what's it like being…"

She waits for it; wonders what lovely descriptor he might conjure up to describe her profession; _weapon of rightness _or _the artillery of justice. _Or maybe it would be alliterative, the writer in him wouldn't be able to resist; _victor of vehemence, supplicator of slayers_. Oh, better yet, wordplay; _slayer of slayers, killer of killers. _

"…emissary of justness?"

Oh, _so_ not what she'd expected. Yeah, it was accurate and poetic even, like almost everything Rick said, but..? _Where was the edge?_ She'd expected him to focus on the thrill, the adrenaline, the skill, the dangers of her job. Emissary; it sounded so businesslike, so clerical, so safe? Oh? Oh… Safe; he'd phrased it like that on purpose. He couldn't take himself to that world, her world; not yet, and suddenly neither could she. Not with their children so close, so young, so needy.

Kate watched his hand as it slipped over the side of the bassinet, his fingers searched blindly for the pacifier that would calm Erin's stubborn attempts at fighting sleep. She was glad for the distraction; his and hers both. Maybe he wouldn't see the sudden terror in her eyes; the fear of kissing her family goodbye, leaving for work, and then never coming home. Maybe he wouldn't see her swipe the tears from her cheeks with the plump pad of her thumb. Maybe he wouldn't see the white square of linen pressed against her face; absorbing the silent hot streams.

"Kate?" Of course he'd seen and was already moving to get up from the bed; to approach her, comfort her.

She shook her head, waved her hand to stay him; the wet napkin wadded in her palm. "I can't," she whispered on a long inhale of air, then an exhale. "Mommy-Daddy date, remember?" The words must've come out stronger than she'd expected, ac

companied by a somewhat convincing smile. Rick sat back, stroked Erin's head once more, not wanting to move just yet, in-case the pacifier didn't stick, didn't soothe. Kate took the moment to get them back on track, back to the here and now, away from the almost certain _what-ifs_, the what-ifs she had twelve more weeks to ignore, to push back, to build walls around. "I guess you could say I'm on a bit of a hiatus myself; more pressing matters if you will."

"So, we have something in common then?" Rick raised an eyebrow, winked to let her know that they'd have to talk about sooner or later, but that he'd understood the not-now-of-it.

"I'm pretty sure we have quite a few things in common." Kate winked back, smiled, flirted.

"Oh, I know we do." Rick leaned forward to dig through the picnic basket yet again. "For instance, dessert." He lifted a plastic container filled with cut up cantaloupe.

"We have fruit in common?"

"Not just _any_ fruit..." his eyes lit with a playfulness Kate was well acquainted with, "…melon." He popped the lid and tossed the bowl on the bed between them.

Kate's laughter cut through the tension that had crept like fog into the room. She almost fell forward with it; her arm folded across her belly to help support the still-tender muscles, the other reaching out to stop her descent. And there it was; the relief washed over her, freed her from her own maddening thoughts, lightened her heart and soul. Only he could do that, only he could _ever_ do that. She tried to gather herself quickly, she really should be offended, but it was hard with the way he was looking at her. Oh wait, he wasn't really looking at _her_, "If you ever want to see date number two you'll lift those eyes up, Mr. Castle."

Rick continued to leer at his wife's chest. The chest that, just nine months ago got lost in the material of that nightgown. The chest that, just yesterday filled in that same garment perfectly. The chest that, as of this morning, had the cotton stretching beyond its limits; her breasts completely spilled over the top and out the sides… He cleared his throat as he finally met her eyes. "Hey, this is what guys on a first date do. We ogle."

"Oh, I think you did enough ogling this morning."

"That wasn't ogling. That was admiring."

"Seriously! I don't think the words _bazinga_, _wowsers_, and _bow-chica-bow-wow_ are exactly words of admiration. Do you?"

"Don't forget my personal favorite…"

"Don't you dare…"

Her finger point was enough to scare him out of repeating what he'd said when he'd seen her first thing that morning; the morning her milk had come in. She'd told him what might happen, but still nothing had prepared him for the absolute awesomeness of it. What little filter he usually had when it came to his appreciation of her body completely flew out the window, and along with it his ability to compliment her with poetic phrases, with loving prose. All he'd come up with in that moment was _Holy mammary-glands Batman!. Y_eah that didn't go over to well with his wife; even worse with his teenaged daughter. And remembering it now, the filter once again disappeared, "Give a guy a break, Kate. Ogling is all I've got for now. It'll be a while before those babies get to come out and play." Yeah, he meant _those_ babies, not _the_ babies.

Kate grabbed a melon ball and threw it at his head. Unfortunately, she hadn't married an athlete. In his attempt to catch the orange fruit before it made contact with his head, all Rick managed to do was interrupt its trajectory. The large chunk of fruit ricocheted off his hand and flew directly to his left, landing on the floor with a splat. Of course, in the melee he'd also managed to kick the side of the bassinet. Both adults froze, waited; lips pressed together, eyes wide, breath held. The kick had been soft, but still, that didn't mean anything. It didn't take much to disturb them, well Erin anyway.

"Now look what you did, Mommy." Rick climbed off the bed to retrieve his youngest daughter, who hadn't yet begun to scream. She had, however, spit the rubber pacifier out and her bottom lip was beginning to quiver. He cradled her close, kissed her cheek. "I know, it's always the innocent ones that get hurt. Mommy and her random acts of violence."

"Me? The culprit always seems to be you and your clunky feet." Kate just rolled her eyes. "Might as well hand Elena over; they'll be ready to eat in a few minutes."

Rick scooped up the other baby. Kate was right; Elena was already awake, but unlike her sister, she wasn't fussing yet. He handed her over, watched as the cuddle-bunny nestled and nudged herself into the warmth of her mother's body. Then he settled in next to his wife, back against the headboard, Erin laid out on his drawn-up thighs. Kate leaned forward, scooted as close as she could get without actually sitting in his lap. Her elbow dug into his hip as she stretched her arm out to caress Erin's head, cheek, belly; anything she could get her hand on.

"I like the idea of our first family picnic better anyway."

"Yeah, me too." Kate's voice grew soft, tender as she whispered. "They're magic."

He squeezed her shoulders. It wasn't a question, but he answered her nonetheless, "Pure and unadulterated." He didn't even bother to remind her that she didn't believe in magic; slight of hand – yes, magic – no.

"This is it isn't it Castle?"

"Hmm?"

"This is life, living: this is being more?"

He pressed his lips to her head, "Yeah Love, this is more; this is everything."

They sat in silence, in awe, in amazement.

Finally, "I have something for you."

"What?" Kate turned her head, rested it against his jaw.

Rick twisted, reached for the drawer of his nightstand; tried not to disturb the perfection of the moment. When he turned back, her eyes were on him. He expected to see annoyance, that's usually the look he got when he bought her, what she deemed, a frivolous gift. But not this time, not today. With his arm around her, their children snuggled close; today she was expectant, giddy even.

He gripped the small black box, his hands trembled. He really had no idea why, other than that was just what she did to him; she shook him. "It might not be what you'd expect, but..."

"Rick?"

"Okay... Right..." She hated when he prefaced a gift with an explanation. As if he thought she wasn't going to like it; like he had to cushion the blow. The box opened with a creak.

"I's beautiful."

"Really? Because..," now he could explain, now that she had seen it; had gasped when it had been revealed. "...it's actually for a man."

He lifted the wide band from the pillow of velvet. It was slightly masculine, almost a half of an inch in width, but what caught her eye were the two bands of inlay Mother-of-Pearl contrasting against the dark metal.

"It's Tungsten." He slid the ring over her left thumb; a perfect fit. It shouldn't get in your way at work or snagged in the babies' clothes." Unlike her engagement ring which had done both, often. "Did you know that Pearl is the modern day birthstone for June?." Kate just shook her head, she couldn't speak; could barely breathe. "That's why the two bands." He ran his finger over her thumb.

"Thank you." It was all she could manage. That and a soft grateful kiss the his neck. "It's perfect."

"I just figured if you had something for the life you lost, the life you saved, the lives you completed; it only made sense to have something for the lives you created."

He waited, held her, held them. He expected the tears to flow, the sobs to overtake her. But it never happened. She just kissed Elena in the crook of her arm, caressed Erin in his lap. She hummed a lullaby to them both. There were no tears, no sadness, no regrets. Only contentment; only love.


	47. Chapter 47

**Okay, here it is; the One-Shot that started it all. Only seems fitting that now it will also end it all. Well, not really end it, because I do have another sequel planned. However, I probably won't start posting it for a few weeks. I want to spend some time editing my first two stories. I reread some of my earlier stuff a few weeks back and ugh; so many typos.**

**To all who have reviewed, favorite, tweeted, lost sleep, and/or just generally inflated my ego by sticking with this massive tale; I thank you. I would love to thank you all personally, but that might delay the sequel even longer, and I'd hate to make you all wait longer for more tales of the twins.**

**I may not own Rick and Kate, but I do own Erin and Elena Castle. **

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**Epilogue:**

Rick sat up in bed wondering why they were both still awake; he was exhausted and he knew she was too. The last few days had been a whirlwind, they both needed rest. As he stared into her beautiful eyes he tried to think of another way to take them both to dreamland. Everything he had tried so far had been fruitless. For example; the light conversation he'd tried to have with her seemed to fall on deaf ears. The little song he sang, for a moment seemed to be doing the trick; she yawned but then just continued to stare up at him. They'd both had a little bit of warm milk earlier, but even that missed the mark. In fact, his sat unfinished on the nightstand. He'd even contemplated a short walk, but he was too tired to get up, and was positive that she wouldn't be able to manage a step.

Finally it came to him, "How about a story? I could read to you." All he got was a slight eyebrow lift and yet another yawn followed by a full body stretch. "Boy, aren't you hard to please. Well, I'll take your silence as a yes."

He tried to decide just what to read to her, she had already heard so many stories, then he remembered his journal. He always kept a journal by the bed incase inspiration hit him in his sleep; as a writer ideas came to him all the time and in the oddest of circumstance. He reached into his nightstand drawer and pulled out the leather bound book, flipped through the pages briefly, then decided. He'd written a series of letters recently and figured this would be as good a time as any to share them.

_December 17th_

_"Today was a special day. It was the day I realized you were in there. I got so excited, I do that a lot. I got so excited that I did a little dance right there in my study. I tried to remember other days that had gotten me that excited and could only think of a few. In my excitement I decided to do some math; I'm not very good at math. Ask anyone who knows me, I'm better with words then I am with numbers, but I needed to solve a problem. I sat down with just a pencil, a calendar, and my memories. I came up with the best number I could think of. I could have made it easier on myself and asked for help. You see, I know someone special that helps me with things, but I'll get to her later. Anyway, the number was eight. I realized you had probably been in there for eight weeks already. You had been pretty quiet, but I figured you out. Normally I wouldn't be the first one to notice you. See that special someone that helps me with things, she should have noticed first. Don't be mad, it's just; I'm really good at noticing things especially about her. I spend every day blissfully watching her, so noticing is easy. I have to hand it to you though, you gave some good clues. Funny that I figured it out first since she is supposed to be better with the clues._

_I guess I should introduce myself. I have quite a few names and don't want to confuse you but here goes. My full name is Richard Alexander Rogers and my legal name is Richard Castle, but only my mother calls me Richard. My friends call me Castle and depending on her mood, that someone special I mentioned uses all-of-the-above, but mostly she just calls me Rick. You don't have to use any of those names though. You get to call me a name that only one other person has ever called me. It's okay, she won't mind sharing and once you meet her, I'm pretty sure you won't mind sharing either. You get to call me Daddy. That's right, I'm your Daddy. See, now you know why I got so excited._

_Well, I'm trying to keep you a secret a little longer so I can't say much more tonight. I will make you a promise though; the first of many promises I intend on making. I promise I will never go eight weeks without talking to you again._

_And promise number two; I love you."_

Castle looked up from his book. Her blue eyes still just stared up at him, but at least the yawning had become more frequent. "Chapter two it is."

…

_Week 9_

_"I couldn't keep our little secret anymore; I'm not good with secrets ask anyone. So, that someone special I told you about; she knows you're in there now too. She didn't believe me at first. Not because she isn't happy that you're in there, but because she hates it when I know things she doesn't. Anyway, I had to prove it to her. Man those little sticks must be hard to pee on, but she's got skills; she got it right all three times. Yeah, for someone as smart as she is, she can be thickheaded at times. But, after it sunk in she was so happy she cried. I did a dance and she cried, but don't worry, they were happy tears._

_So now that you know that she knows, I might as well tell you about her. I can't tell you everything all at once, it would take way too long, so I'll start with the best part. You see, like Daddy, she has a lot of names too. Her full name is Katherine Beckett. I know, it should be Castle but we compromised on that one. Her friends call her Beckett, some bad people she sees at work call her Detective, but you're too young to know about those kinds of people, that's for much later. Her father_ _calls her Katie and depending on my mood, I call her all of those things, but most of the time I call her Kate or Love; she's my love. Again, you don't have to remember any of those. Fact is she's so special that you get to call her a name that NO ONE has ever called her before; that's right no sharing. You get to call her Mommy._

_Well, that's all for tonight, but I'll be back tomorrow to give you your first Christmas gift. I know you don't know what Christmas is yet, but trust me, soon it will be your favorite day of the year."_

"I know cheap trick huh? I got you all excited about your Mommy and then just shut it down. "He rubbed her tiny belly with his large hand. The action seemed to soothe her so he returned to the journal.

_December 25th_

_"Merry Christmas! Are you ready for your present? No, I didn't get you one of those Baby's First Christmas onesies. Well actually I tried but your Mommy made me put it back; party pooper. So instead, for your present you get to hear more about your Mommy. After all, she is the best present anyone could ask for. You're Mommy is the most beautiful thing you will ever lay eyes on. I guess for now you'll just have to trust me on that one. She has the most beautiful voice on the planet, but you already know that because according to the internet, you can already hear her. And, she loves you more than she has ever loved anyone or anything before. She told me that and I don't think it was a secret so I thought I would share. One more thing, don't tell her I told you, but she is so nervous about being your Mommy. So, do me a favor and go easier on her. Maybe that could be your Christmas present to her. And don't worry if you didn't get me something. I have you and her, that's all I could ever hope for."_

…

_Week 10_

_"I know, I'm checking in early today_. _Your Mommy and I have plans tonight; we may be out late. Tomorrow will be a new year. It will be a special year for you; your birth year. But really she and I are celebrating the fact that you've been in there ten weeks already. Oh and I'm warning you now, you may hear some pretty loud noises later. Don't be scared, it will just be the world celebrating your special year with us."_

Castle had to lay the journal down on the bed; she'd begun to fuss so a change of position was required. He picked her up from his lap to rest her on his shoulder, but not before placing multiple kisses all over her perfect face; the face he'd spent the last three days memorizing. He laughed at her confusion; she rooted around at his nose with her little O-shaped mouth. "Sorry kiddo, I got nothing to offer you. Besides you just ate and your Mommy is sleeping. If you promise to let her rest a little while longer, I'll read some more."

…

_Week 11_

_"I have to admit, I'm a little mad at you today. You've been giving your Mommy a pretty hard time lately and today was the worst. So, I can't talk too long. You see, just like it is her most important job to take care of you, it is my most important job to take care of her and she needs me right now._

_Don't worry, even though I'm a little mad I still love you."_

Castle apologetically connected his cheek with the tiny being grunting on his shoulder. "I'm sorry about that one. I was having a bad day and took it out on you."

…

_Week 12_

_"I'm so excited! I can't sleep and either can Mommy, but you better rest up. Tomorrow is the big day. Tomorrow the Doctor will take the first picture ever taken of you. I can't wait to see you so try to smile pretty. Oh and it's okay if we hear your heart flutter a little. It happens to me every time I hear your Mommy's voice too."_

_January 15th_

_"Okay, I must admit, I did another little dance today and Mommy cried again. Remember, happy tears. I'm sure you already know why. We just can't believe there are two of you in there. I didn't see that one coming. So, I guess I lied a few weeks back when I said there'd be no need to share your Mommy. Sorry, I'll try not to lie to you anymore, but can't promise. Oh, and Mommy is very sorry for getting your first picture all wrinkly with her tears, she was just so happy to see you; she got carried away. And watch out, as soon as you're born she will probably get you both just as wet as she did your picture._

_I love you, both of you_."

"Again with the fussing." Castle took his squirming daughter off his shoulder, placed her in the crook of his arm. "What, are you getting jealous of your sister?" Castle glanced at her mirror image sleeping peacefully on his sleeping wife's chest. He whispered in the fussing baby's ear, "I know how you feel, that's my favorite place to sleep too." He liberated the pacifier that Kate had been clinging to and offered it to his daughter as a consolation prize. He was grateful when she accepted it.

_January 16th_

_"Sorry to bother you again so soon. I know you need your rest so you can both grow big and strong, but, today was another very special day. Today your Mommy and I introduced you to your big sister. Well, we showed her your picture, wet and wrinkly and all. I'm sure you were awake when it happened because not even two little babies could sleep through her ear piercing squeals. Her name is Alexis, and she's the reason you have to share your Daddy. I know you'll love her, and she already loves you both. She didn't tell me that, but I know it anyway. Like your Mommy, Alexis is beautiful and smart, so if you can remember, try to learn everything from them, not from me. Life will be so much easier for you both if you remember that._

_It's been awhile since I made you a promise, so promise number three; I will try to remember all the crazy stuff I did with Alexis and do it with you. I can't guarantee I'll get it all right; I am a bit older now. Plus, this time it won't just be me that wants to do things with you. See, Alexis and I only had each other, but we're even luckier now because we have Mommy. Most people don't get to see it, but Mommy is way more fun than Daddy, trust me."_

Rick smiled down at her; she'd snuggled her face into his chest and was fighting sleep. Her rhythmic hummings were a sure sign that sleep was inevitable if she would just give into it. He'd learned day one which of their twins had inherited Kate's personality and which one had gotten his. And since he was the only one that could handle Kate, it made sense that he would be put in charge of handling her _mini-me_. The same could be said for their other little one; she was so easy going, except when she was hungry; boy could she could get demanding. Just like her father, she wanted instant gratification and Kate was ready and willing every time.

Rick couldn't help but look to the other two girls in his bed. Kate looked exhausted, even in sleep, but who could blame her? In the last three days she'd endured nineteen hours of labor, given birth to the two most beautiful babies anyone had ever laid eyes on, learned to breast feed and change diapers all with little to no sleep, and being in more pain than she'd dare admit to anyone but him.

"Extraordinary," he couldn't help but reach out, to touch her as she instinctively patted their little one's back.

…

_Week 13_

_"Today was a pretty bad day. I'm sure you noticed because Mommy cried a lot and so did I. Today your big sister Alexis had to go away. She's getting older and had to go to a place to help her learn how to be a grown up. Don't panic; you two have a long way to go before having to worry about that. Anyway, she'll be back just not for a while. She promises to call everyday and Mommy will hold the phone down so you can still hear her voice. Although, it may sound even more muffled to you than normal since it has to make its way all the way from California._

_I know it doesn't feel good when Mommy cries, but she'll miss Alexis so much. I'll do my best to cheer her up, but I'm pretty sad too. In fact, when I'm done writing this the two of you may want to listen carefully, I just thought of a way to make Mommy smile. That's right; I'm going to talk to her about all of the things the four of us will do together after you're born. That should put a smile on her face. She has the best smile, have I ever told you that? She has the best laugh too. Listen really close to her laugh; I hope you learn it so I can hear it from all of you, not just her. It is the best sound ever. Oh, here she comes._

_Love you."_

Castle thought back to that day. He and Kate sat up all night trying not to cry about the sudden absence of their oldest child. Dreaming about the soon arrival of their youngest worked, mostly.

…

_Week 15_

_"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I know it has been a few weeks since you've heard from me. See, I have a job, well I have a lot of jobs, but there's this is one that pays the bills and sometimes I have to go away to talk about it. But guess what?_

_Promise number four; no more going away for work._

_Well at least until you two are in school. Yuck, we won't talk about that. Plus, I know Mommy doesn't like when I go away either. She won't admit it because she likes to pretend she's tough, but I can tell. Remember how I told you that I'm good at noticing things? Well, I noticed the dark circles under her eyes when I got home and the new box of Kleenex on her nightstand. So guess what else I decided, no more work for Mommy or Daddy for the next two weeks, we're all going away together. Don't worry, only Mommy and Daddy will have to wear sun block."_

…

_Week 16_

_"Can't talk long; it's a very special day for Mommy. Today is Valentine's Day. It's a day when crazy guys like Daddy tell wonderful people like Mommy how much they love them. Of course, I'm so crazy that I tell her that every day. Some days she tells me to stop because it's just too much, but I don't listen. Ask anyone, I have never listened to her. I guess that could be example number one in the _'do as I say not as I do' _thing._

_Anyway, back to Valentine's Day, I need to tell you about a little thing called Safe Words. Mine is Apples. A Safe word is something you say when you want someone to stop what they're doing ASAP. See there are times when Mommy and Daddy play a little game that you two are _way_ too young to know about. It's sort of like Mommy's job in that you have to wait till later to hear about it. I know, I should have given you a Safe Word earlier, but luckily for you, but unluckily for me, Mommy has been too tired lately to play this game too much. But, now she's feeling better and wants to play _a lot_. So, let's make a deal. I've decided your Safe Word is Peapod. I picked it because right now you aren't much bigger than one and I imagine the two of you as _'two peas in a pod.'_ So, now that you know the word, I need a promise from you. It's only fair; I've made promises to you. Promise that whenever you hear me say Peapod you will be sure not to listen to Mommy and Daddy. If you can make me that promise it will save a lot of embarrassment on all our parts._

_Happy Valentine's Day, I love your Mommy and I love you."_

Castle laughed as he remembered that day. The way Kate's eyebrow lifted when he stopped kissing her long enough to whisper the word Peapod into her belly. She quickly informed him that her belly button was not a megaphone.

"Oops, Daddy scared you huh?" His sudden chuckle rumbled through his chest, the baby stirred in his arms. He patted her diaper a few times and she snuggled deeper into the blanket swaddled tightly around her body. "Just like your Mother, a blanket hog."

"I heard that." Kate was awake beside him.

"Hey sleepyhead, go back to sleep, we're fine here." He reached out to stroke her cheek.

She didn't listen to him and somehow managed to scoot into a sitting position using one hand to assist while her free one rested on the other baby's backside. Just like her Father, only the five pound version, she slept right through it. "I hope you're not reading one of your novels to her. I don't want to start her life out with nightmares," she nodded to the book in his hand.

"No, just reading some letters I wrote to them while you were pregnant."

Kate didn't seem surprised. He was a writer after all. He always turned to pen and paper to help convey his feelings. She leaned into his side to place a light kiss on his bare shoulder. "Are they private or can I listen for a while?"

He placed a kiss to the top of her head, "Do you want me to start over?"

"No, we wouldn't want to bore her with reruns." Kate glanced at her child snuggled against her husband's chest. "Has she slept at all?"

"Nope, she's _so_ your daughter, you know?" He could feel Kate smile against his shoulder.

"Oh, so you're only going to claim the good one over here huh?"

He laughed, "Hey, it's already been proven that I only make perfect babies." They both knew he was referring to Alexis. "This little terror had to come from somewhere."

"Castle, just shut up and read before you get yourself in trouble."

He leaned down to his stubborn daughter, "See I told you she sometimes calls me that. She must be in her cranky mood." He then returned to the journal.

…

_Week 18_

_"Guess what? You guys are about half baked by now (lol, yes I've been waiting weeks to say that). I can't believe how fast you're growing. You should see how proud your Mommy is to be carrying you around in there. You know how I told you she's the most beautiful woman on earth? Well, now that she has you she is even more so. Don't listen to her when she says things like huge and elephant. She doesn't mean them. I thought about whispering your Safe Word whenever she starts talking like that, but I've already had to use it so much in the last few weeks; I thank you both for that by the way. I know, gross, but seriously, I'm grateful."_

Before he could turn the page Kate was giving him a disapproving look. "Castle! Did you just talk to our children in code about sex?"

"Maybe?" Normally he would prepare to be hit, but he knew she wouldn't risk waking their one sleeping child just to get in a good lick.

"That had better be the last time that's mentioned in that little book of yours."

He knew she was joking but decided to turn one more page before continuing to read; no sense tempting fate. After all, her hormones were still raging and it made reading her a little tougher than usual.

…

_Week 20_

_"Today was another special day. Today Mommy and I found out that you are both little girls. Yep, I did another dance. I've been patient so far, but now I can hardly wait to see your little faces. I know I said I was okay with you being boys or girls, but now that I have the facts, I can tell the truth. I know, another lie, sorry, I didn't promise never to lie to you, just that I would try my best. Anyway, I know Mommy was glad too, she told me she was. I think she was afraid that if you were boys she would have her hands full. See, I'm already a handful and to have two more just like me might have been more than even someone as strong has Mommy could handle._

_Oh, you should have seen her smile. We took a walk after we found out. Taking a walk with her is one of my favorite things to do. You'll find that out soon enough because she'll take lots of walks with you guys, I mean girls. Here's a secret, when you're walking with her, watch the faces of the strangers that walk by. You see, Mommy is so beautiful that even strangers smile when they see her. They just can't help it._

_I love you._

_Oh, one more thing. Thanks; because of you I get to keep my status as a _'Ladies Man._'"_

Kate huffed against his shoulder when he finished reading the entry.

"Now look what you've done." Rick nodded toward the yawning girl now awake against her Mother's breast, "Just when I got this one to sleep."

Kate sat up straight, she slowly rocked the baby back and forth but it was soon apparent that she was looking for more than soothing. Kate's body responded and quickly gave the rooting baby what she cried for.

"See just like her Father." He watched Kate bite back the snarky remark he was sure was on her tongue. "It's amazing." He watched his wife as she provided his child the physical nourishment required for life. He couldn't help but draw a comparison to the way she provides him with the emotional nourishment he requires to be the man she deserves. He leaned over, placed a kiss on her shoulder.

"Can you keep reading?"

…

_Week 22_

_"Hey, I just realized you're probably wondering about all the other voices you hear out here. So I thought I would introduce you to the rest of the family and Mommy and Daddy's friends._

_First there's Gram, your Grandma, my Mother. She's the loud one that floats in and out while spouting Shakespeare. You may also notice an odd sound whenever she's around. That's just the sound of the ice hitting the sides of her glass. She will be a great friend to you both, just don't take any of her advice and you'll be fine._

_Then there's Grandpa, Mommy's Dad. He is pretty quiet, but he loves you both already. I have a feeling your first sleepover will be with him. Please listen to everything he tells you because he raised Mommy and she's perfect._

_Okay, now there's Mommy's best friend, besides me. Her name is Aunt Lanie and she has a job that you are too young to know anything about. In fact all of our friends do. Aunt Lanie is loud like Gram but her words aren't as eloquent. She says things like '_Girl'_ and _'I'ma smack you'_ so please don't use her as an example for speech education. However, you can learn how to be a friend from her. She is one of the best. Oh, and Mommy likes to talk about Daddy a lot when she's with her, so take notes so we can compare later._

_Next is Uncle Javie, I have a feeling that Uncle Javie and Aunt Lanie may give you some cousins some day, but you don't need to know about that. Uncle Javie also says funny things like '_yo'_ and '_bro'_, he is also good at things like Feed the Birds and giving Daddy fist pumps. I think if Daddy had to name a best friend, besides Mommy, it would be Uncle Javie. And he is one of only two other people Daddy trusts to protect Mommy. He's really good at it._

_The other one is Uncle Kevin. Uncle Kevin dresses_ _nice, so it won't hurt to learn a few things from him. Of course your Mommy dresses the best so follow her lead and you will be fine. Anyway, I have a feeling Uncle Kevin will be your favorite uncle; he really cares and will listen if you need to talk. However, he is Irish so please don't take any drinking advice from him._

_Finally, there's Uncle Kevin's wife, Aunt Jenny. Aunt Jenny is the sweet one of the bunch. I already know that she is going to spoil you both rotten. Plus, she's already working on giving you a cousin. Besides being sweet, she's a competitive little thing. In fact, when she found out Mommy and Daddy were going to have you two, she convinced Uncle Kevin that it was their duty to give you a cousin to play with._

_I know that was a ton of info so I'll let you girls discuss amongst yourselves._

_Remember, I love you and so does Mommy."_

While Castle read the longest entry in his journal so far, Kate finished up nursing one baby and handed her to him for burping duty. She easily scooped up baby number two being careful to not wake her from the slumber she had finally fallen into.

"Pretty good how well we work together huh?" Castle nudged her arm. When she looked up he could see the moisture in her eyes. He could only assume his description of their friends and family had been right on.

She tried to distract him from her tears, "Well, we've never really had trouble in that department; working together is what we do best."

"That and making babies," he shifted in the bed to kiss the tears from her cheeks, "I love you."

She kissed him back, but on the lips, "I love you too."

Not to be left out of the conversation the baby on his shoulder let out a huge burp; Kate couldn't resist, "Yep, just like her father."

…

_Week 25_

_"I haven't written in awhile, you see, the last few weeks have been the worst since I learned you were in there. I know I've mentioned Mommy's job. Well, it can be dangerous and scary. Usually Daddy is kind of okay with that; well not really, but that's a story for another day. Anyway, Mommy and I have been fighting about it. That's what was happening each time I said Peapod._

_Yesterday got really scary though, I'm sorry you had to hear all those loud noises. I know Mommy is sorry too. She told me so over and over and over while we waited for the Doctor to make sure you were both alright. Sometimes she can just be so stubborn. Look on the bright side, you got to ride with lights and sirens; kids always love that._

_Even though yesterday was bad, today was better. See no more work for Mommy until after you girls are born. Yeah for us! I think I'll make her breakfast in bed tomorrow. I really hate it when Mommy and I fight._

_Promise number five; I'll do my best to always make Mommy happy, because when she's happy, all is right with the world."_

As if they both suddenly realized what they'd almost lost that day, Kate and Rick both stroked the new life they each held in their arms. Kate drew the baby close to her face, whispered something in her ear.

…

_Week 27_

_"Great news, Alexis came home for the summer. I'm sure you already know that because she and Mommy have been attached at the hip. That's okay because I have been pretty busy too. Today I finished up your bedroom. I really hope you two like it. I tried to think about what you might like to see while you toss and turn in your cribs. _

_Mommy gave me a good idea._ _She told me about all the books she had been reading to you. You guys didn't tell me about those. Mommy really loves to read. She especially loves to read anything Daddy writes, but she can't read those to you, too scary for little babies. So, after she told me about all the books she'd read to you already, I decided that you may want to see what she was talking about. In case you forget, she made me a list._

_Alice and Wonderland_

_James and the Giant Peach_

_Nancy Drew; I think that's Mommy's favorite_

_The Little Prince_

_Where the Wild Things Are_

_Peter Pan_

_Winnie the Pooh_

_Charlotte's Web_

_That's probably enough, there are more in the room, but I don't want to spoil the surprise. Oh, and no I didn't paint it. Daddy's about as good with paint as he is with numbers. So, I paid someone to do it. Mommy will tell you that's what I'm really best at; paying someone else to do my work. And sorry if the paint smell made you sick, it did Mommy. But despite that, she still loved it."_

Kate was now nursing for the second time since waking up from her nap. The small size of the bundle in her arm allowed her to use her free arm to pull herself into Rick's side. She was so tired, he could tell. He waited for the baby to finish eating, then quickly took her from Kate. She burped as easily as her sister had a few minutes earlier. With a baby in each arm he walked across the room and gently placed them in the basinet on Kate's side of the bed. He returned to the bed, and much like he had his daughters he helped Kate lay down. He tucked the blankets around her.

"Will you read some more? I know they were written for them, but..."

"Hush…"

…

_Week 29_

_"Today you made me the happiest Daddy on earth. See, Mommy had been telling me how hard the two of you were kicking, but every time I tried to feel for myself, you would both stop. I tried not to take it personally, I know little girls need a lot of sleep to make sure they are strong and healthy, but I still wished I could feel you. Then today when I least expected it, you did it. It was the most amazing thing ever. I just stayed in bed all day next to Mommy and waited for you to do it again, and you did. Boy are you two strong; Mommy's whole belly shook. And don't tell her I said so, but it is a pretty big belly right now. But just like everything else about her, it is a beautiful belly filled with beautiful babies._

_I love you and am now counting the days until I can hold you in my arms."_

Castle looked at Kate expecting her to say something about the big belly remarks, but she was too busy crying to make any wisecracks. He just kept reading.

…

_Week 32_

_"We got more pictures of you two today. I made sure Mommy used tissues to wipe her happy tears instead of the pictures. Let me just start by saying, hubba hubba. You are both gorgeous. Yes, I can already tell you both look just like your Mommy._

_Serious time now, I need to talk to you about tomorrow. It'll be a sad day for Mommy and I don't want you to think it has anything to do with you. See, there's a family member that I didn't tell you about and tomorrow is her birthday. She's your Mommy's mommy. Her name is Johanna. I know this is confusing because you have never heard her voice. That's because she went to Heaven many years ago. So if you want to hear her you have to listen real careful. You can hear her every time your Mommy's heart beats because that's where her voice is now. So if Mommy is really quiet and maybe even cries tomorrow, just concentrate on the warm beat that surrounds you and know that Mommy loves you._

_Oh yeah, so do I."_

"Damn hormones!" Kate groused into his chest.

"Sure Love, we'll blame the hormones." Rick traced the bones on her back, squeezed her against him. "Why don't we stop and try to get some sleep? They'll be up before you know it."

"No, please, can you finish?"

Not one to ever deny her he continued.

_Week 34_

_"Today is a very important day and I need you to listen closely. Mommy and I have finally decided on your names. We've been talking about this for a while; most of our friends are placing bets on something literary. However, Mommy and I decided that we would give you names that remind us of everyone we love. We'll explain when you're old enough._

_So, baby A, and you know who you are, your name is Elena Katherine Castle. Baby B, your name is Erin Johanna Castle. Yes, I said Castle. Remember that compromise I told you about way back in week nine? Well, this is the part I get from that compromise._

_So, I hope you like the choices we made because you're kind of stuck with them. Well, unless you do like me and grow up and change them; yet another example of _'do as I say not as I do._' And don't blab because Mommy and I aren't telling anyone until your birthday. Not even Alexis. She's worse than me about keeping a secret, and I'm terrible at it. See, I already blabbed and told you._

_I love you Elena_

_I love you Erin"_

Kate laughed, "That's okay, I told Lanie. I just couldn't keep it a secret."

Rick feigned shock but then made a confession of his own, "I told your dad, but made him promise not to nark on me."

Kate laughed again, but somehow yawned at the same time, "He narked, what'd you expect, I'm his little girl?"

What could he expect? He knew exactly how his father-in-law felt. "There's one more, are you up for it?"

"Yeah, I have a feeling it'll be just what I need to make sure I have sweet dreams." She snuggled closer to his side and he wrapped his arms tighter around her. It made holding the book a little awkward, but if she could handle nineteen hours of labor he could handle a measly book.

…

_June 24th (Week 36 ½)_

_"Daddy is so excited! I just found out that today is the day, or maybe tomorrow depending on how long you girls take to make your entrance. Mommy woke me up a few hours ago and told me that you wanted to come out. At first I was scared since you are really supposed to stay in there another couple of weeks, but the Doctor says that you're just eager to meet us. I can't blame you; I mean I have been telling you for months now about how extraordinary your Mommy is. I guess you just can't wait any longer to find out for yourselves._

_So, I have a few last minute pieces of information, and I have to make it quick because Mommy is in a lot of pain right now and I need to be there so she can take it out on me.._

_Always listen to your Mommy, even if I don't. _

_Remember, even though you can't see her that your Grandma Johanna is always there looking out for you. _

_Books are our friends. _

_And most importantly; Mommy and I love you both more than anything; ever._

_Always._

_PS: Once you've made your way out and get acclimated to the lights, look for your Mommy. She will be easy to spot because she will be the most spectacular thing in the room. Oh, and I'll be the big dork standing beside her, grinning from ear to ear."_

Rick closed the book, snuggled into his drowsy wife. He'd thought she had fallen asleep, was surprised when she said, "That's the most amazing Love Letter you have ever written to me."

Castle started to protest, "But I wrote them for..."

She interrupted him, "Say what you want, but we both know better."

He just smiled and kissed her forehead, she was right after all. "Well, I had to do something, look what you did for me; twice."

She raised her head to look him in the eye, "I love you Daddy."

"I love you too Mommy, Always."

**xxxxxxxxxx**

**THE END**


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